Children Need to Learn Personal Responsibility

Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children Need to Learn Personal Responsibility

by Pat Lamb

Train up a child…

 

Children Need to Learn Personal Responsibility

 

         “The government should buy each of us an electronic dictionary.”

         “They’re all a bunch of crooks!”

         “The President should__________.”

         “The only jobs there are are those old crappy jobs.” 

“The government doesn’t give us enough money to live on” 

The above are all true comments heard in GED class when I was teaching.  They clearly indicate a lack of understanding of how our government is supposed to be a government “of the people, by the people, and for the people”.  “We, the people,” not “They, the people” are responsible for what happens in our country.

         Children need to be taught at an early age to accept personal responsibility as citizens for self and others.  Without this teaching, people become like leeches, living off the lives of others.  

         Children need to see their parents go vote.  Children need to hear their parents talk in a nice way about the candidates and their policies.  Children need to understand that our founding fathers set up a government with checks and balances making the congressmen and congresswomen as responsible as the president for decisions that are made.

         I have found that very few of the students I have taught knew the three branches of the government: executive, legislative, and judicial.  They did not know that the Senate and House of Representatives make up Congress.  They did not know that there are two Senators from each state and that Representatives are elected according to population based on the census every ten years. Further, they did not know the meaning of checks and balances, a system set up by the founders of our country to make sure that no one branch of government has too much power.  Had they known about the system of checks and balances, they would have known that the president cannot be solely blamed for mistakes nor can he solely take credit for successes.  In fact, the president can do very little alone.  Understanding this fact would make more people take greater consideration in the Senators and Representatives they vote for.  

         Children need to be taught that all money coming from Washington, D.C., must first go there, and that taxpayers are the ones who send it there.  They need to be told that they have a responsibility to send money to Washington, D.C. and not just think of what they can get fromWashington, D.C.     In fact, right now other countries are helping fund our government, making us indebted to them.  Also, by the time our tax money goes to Washington and then comes back, it has dwindled a great deal due to the many expenses associated with counting, disbursement, etc.  It would be of more personal value to keep it home in the first place.  

         Unfortunately, many parents act as though they do not understand these facts.  If parents and grandparents do not understand, how can they teach the children?  Perhaps greater thought needs to be given before discussing our government in front of children. WE are the government.  We govern through the people we elect.  We have no right to say they are the government.  We need to write letters, attend meetings held by our voted-in officials, and encourage our elected officials to govern as it was originally intended.

         Let’s make sure our children understand the truth about our country.  If we start teaching our children about our government while they are young, perhaps they will know more when they grow up than one student I had who wrote in a paper about “President Busch”.  

Instilling Patriotism in Children

Uncategorized, , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…)

Train up a child…

Instilling Patriotism in Children

         There may be no better time than Independence Day for parents to instill in children the attitude and feeling of patriotism.  As children experience the beautiful fireworks displays and understand that the same thing is happening throughout our nation, they can’t help but think about what it means to be living in America.  Adults need to take advantage of this “teachable moment” to encourage the feeling of pride for country and help the children understand, as much as possible, the cost paid for our freedom by our forefathers.

         One way to give a better understanding of our forefathers is to check the Internet for information regarding some of those individuals.  Children will be interested to learn about some of the inventions of Ben Franklin.  He invented bifocals, the lightning rod, a grasping tool, and even a musical instrument using glasses filled with different amounts of water.  He designed a ship with compartments so that if one compartment sprung a leak, the leak could not sink the ship.  

         Only two of Thomas Jefferson’s six children survived into adulthood.  He had specific instructions as to what he wanted on his tombstone.  He wrote a political pamphlet in which he stated, “The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time:  the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.”  He designed his home, Monticello, in detail and had it built on property inherited from his family. 

         At the age of 16, George Washington helped survey Shenandoah lands.  He was very interested in western expansion of our country.  It will fascinate children to learn that he invented wooden false teeth.  It has been said that we always see pictures of him with his mouth closed because of his wooden false teeth.

         There are many, many interesting things to learn about our founding fathers and our country if we just take the time to explore with the children.  A visit to the library will uncover many interesting books for the children to read during the summer months.  

         It is easy to develop an appreciation of the history of our country.  What is not so easy is to develop a feeling of appreciation for our country now.  It is difficult as a teacher to help the children learn to respect authority of our government when they hear so much criticism from parents, grandparents, and others.  When children hear parents say, “They are all a bunch of crooks!” they wonder why, then, are they supposed to obey laws made by those “crooks”.  It was a real struggle in my GED classes to get students to understand that our government is “we”, not “they”.  

         We need to be very careful to discuss policies of our government without “badmouthing” the people making those policies.  It is very difficult in times of frustration to separate what our politicians do from who they are.  We are commanded in the Bible to pray for our leaders, and we should do just that.  Instead of venting our anger to those around us, we need to be finding ways to make the changes that we believe are needed in a respectful way.  

         Our country has had many problems since its beginning.  We need to help our children join us in praying for our country and deciding how we can be the best citizens possible.    

Instilling Patriotism in Children

Uncategorized, , , ,

Instilling Patriotism in Children

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Instilling Patriotism in Children

         There may be no better time than Independence Day for parents to instill in children the attitude and feeling of patriotism.  As children experience the beautiful fireworks displays and understand that the same thing is happening throughout our nation, they can’t help but think about what it means to be living in America.  Adults need to take advantage of this “teachable moment” to encourage the feeling of pride for country and help the children understand, as much as possible, the cost paid for our freedom by our forefathers.

         One way to give a better understanding of our forefathers is to check the Internet for information regarding some of those individuals.  Children will be interested to learn about some of the inventions of Ben Franklin.  He invented bifocals, the lightning rod, a grasping tool, and even a musical instrument using glasses filled with different amounts of water.  He designed a ship with compartments so that if one compartment sprung a leak, the leak could not sink the ship.  

         Only two of Thomas Jefferson’s six children survived into adulthood.  He had specific instructions as to what he wanted on his tombstone.  He wrote a political pamphlet in which he stated, “The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time:  the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.”  He designed his home, Monticello, in detail and had it built on property inherited from his family. 

         At the age of 16, George Washington helped survey Shenandoah lands.  He was very interested in western expansion of our country.  It will fascinate children to learn that he invented wooden false teeth.  It has been said that we always see pictures of him with his mouth closed because of his wooden false teeth.

         There are many, many interesting things to learn about our founding fathers and our country if we just take the time to explore with the children.  A visit to the library will uncover many interesting books for the children to read during the summer months.  

         It is easy to develop an appreciation of the history of our country.  What is not so easy is to develop a feeling of appreciation for our country now.  It is difficult as a teacher to help the children learn to respect authority of our government when they hear so much criticism from parents, grandparents, and others.  When children hear parents say, “They are all a bunch of crooks!” they wonder why, then, are they supposed to obey laws made by those “crooks”.  It was a real struggle in my GED classes to get students to understand that our government is “we”, not “they”.  

         We need to be very careful to discuss policies of our government without “badmouthing” the people making those policies.  It is very difficult in times of frustration to separate what our politicians do from who they are.  We are commanded in the Bible to pray for our leaders, and we should do just that.  Instead of venting our anger to those around us, we need to be finding ways to make the changes that we believe are needed in a respectful way.  

         Our country has had many problems since its beginning.  We need to help our children join us in praying for our country and deciding how we can be the best citizens possible.    

July 4 is More Than Fireworks

Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Children can learn much about the 4th of July

July 4 is More than Fireworks

Train up a child…

July 4 is more than Fireworks

         July 4th presents a wonderful time for the family to get together and have fun.  Many good memories are made on this holiday.  Included in those good memories could be storytelling by parents about the history of our country and its founding fathers.

         It is very difficult to teach children to be patriotic in today’s climate of friction in our country. When children hear parents and others “badmouth” our leaders, they tend to form negative ideas rather than to become patriotic.  It is important that we separate actions of individuals from intent of the makers of our constitution.  Children need to understand that the basis for our government is sound.  When things do not work right, it is not because of the way our Constitution is written, but rather it is the result, most often, of individuals not following that Constitution. A focus on the history and individuals involved in forming our country will help to develop patriotism in children.

         Parents could take one historical figure each year and concentrate on stories about that person. Children get enthralled with the heroic stories and just hearing them stimulates children to be heroic themselves.  The libraries in most areas have good books of stories that can be read or told to the children. The Internet contains a wealth of information as well.

         Here are some quotes of George Washington that can be used with children:

  • “A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.” 
  • “Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”
  • “Be courteous with all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
  • “Discipline is the soul of an army.  It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak, and esteem to all.”
  • “Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples’ liberty’s teeth.”
  • “Friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
  • “Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.”

         When translated into modern day language, it is easy to see that these principles apply today as well as in the past.  As children learn to respect the great character of our founders, they will automatically apply some of these traits to themselves. 

         Let’s all enjoy our holiday, but let’s never forget to be thankful for those deeply religious men and women who sacrificed so very much to make our celebration possible. Our example of thankfulness and patriotism will transfer to our children.

Helping Children Learn to Earn

Uncategorized

(Pat Lamb is author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)

Train up a child…

Helping Children Learn to Earn

     Considering the situation, we find our country in right now, few people doubt that the future holds less benefit in the form of entitlements than we are presently enjoying.  Simple math tells us that we cannot keep spending more than we are taking in and when half of our country is taking from the government instead of giving to it in the form of taxes, we must admit there is a problem. Our present-day children will live with this problem as adults.  One quality they must possess to cope in the future is to have the attitude of earning their own benefits instead of expecting the government or others to care for them.

      To develop the desire to earn, there are practices that must not be done as well as actions we should take.  The realization that life is not fair and that nothing is truly free will help children develop an attitude of earning.

     We need to stop rewarding children when it is not earned. Why would anyone want to work for something that they can get for free? Where is the logic in thinking that we can give children everything they want or desire and then when they are grown expect them to suddenly think, “Oh, you don’t have to give me everything anymore.  Now I will work for it?” If they have been given everything without having to earn it, they will most likely expect that they will continue to receive things without working for them. Someone remarked that they had seen a sign in a national park advising guests not to feed the animals lest the animals forget how to forage for themselves.  Doesn’t the same principle apply to people? When children are given a prize that they didn’t earn just to keep them from feeling badly, they are learning that they don’t have to earn a prize and they come to expect rewards without the required effort.  The notion that all should be winners is wrong.  Each of us is unique.  Some are better at one thing, and some are better at another.  We do not all excel in the same things.  Sometimes “feeling badly” is the motivation children need to improve. Good-intentioned parents, grandparents, and teachers have unknowingly (or perhaps knowingly) taught our children the attitude of entitlement.  

     If parents will talk with children and help them set goals to achieve, then require that they work for those goals, children will learn to earn unless the parent jumps in and “rescues” the child.  Is it possible that we give our children too much?  I think so.  They do not always have to have what others have.  If it is important to them to compete with friends for more expensive items, they should have to get jobs doing yard work, washing windows, etc. to earn the money to make up the difference in a moderately priced item and the more expensive item.  When children earn their own money, they come to realize how hard the parents must work to provide for them.  Children need to be told that what they may think of as government money is really money from hardworking people who pay taxes and that it is not fair for some to work while others enjoy things without working for them.

     “The Greatest Generation” grew up right after the Great Depression when things were in short supply.  They knew they had to earn what they got if they were to have anything.  Things did not come easy.  As a result, we had a generation of people who knew how to work and did not have the entitlement attitude.  If we don’t teach our children to earn, they may have to learn the hard way.   

A True Story of a Father’s Love

Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

A True Story of a Father’s Love

Suggestion inserted

Conversation opened. 1 read message. 

Skip to content
Using Gmail with screen readers

Search

https://ogs.google.com/u/0/widget/app?awwd=1&gm3=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fmail.google.com&cn=app&pid=23&spid=23&hl=en

Compose

Labels

Inbox

8

Starred

Snoozed

Sent

Drafts

175

More

Labels

Labels

[Gmail]All Mail

[Gmail]Trash

1 of 824

Print all

In new window

Train up a child column

patsy Lamb <patsylamb1936@gmail.com>8:30 AM (56 minutes ago)
to Branson, Branson, Shana, carrollcountynews, Rattler, SLoftis, Jennifer

Train up a child…

A True Story of a Father’s Love

Note:  The family in this story wishes to remain anonymous, so the names have been changed.

            Every family has its challenges.  One such challenge came to a family consisting of mom, dad, Justin, Jerry, Jane, and James.  The children ranged in age from age six to age 14.  The children were typically well-behaved and good students except for Jerry, the second son who was in seventh grade.  He was well-behaved, but simply did not like the regimentation of school.  He was smart enough, but he wanted to learn at his own pace and only the subjects he was interested in rather than the required lessons.

            When Jerry received his first report card in seventh grade, his mom had a hard time getting him to let her see it.  Finally he quickly handed it to her just as he was getting ready to walk out the door to school after his dad had already gone to work.  Although it was obvious he had taken great pains to make his forgery look realistic, it was just as obvious that a “D” had been changed to a “B” in two cases. Mom took one look and said exactly the wrong thing, “Boy, are you in trouble.  Just wait ‘til your dad sees this!” 

            Jerry decided not to wait until his dad saw the report card.  His mom left for an out-of-town meeting that day and when dad came home from work, Jerry had run away from home! 

            When mom returned from her meeting on Sunday afternoon, she was greeted with four sad faces.  The other children and their dad had searched all weekend, but could not find Jerry.  Mom, knowing how much Jerry liked trains, suggested looking down by the railroad tracks.  Immediately the other three children ran to look and came back saying that they had found him sitting under the railroad trestle.  Mom wanted to hurry and go get him, but dad told her to wait and let the children go.  He was right.  The children went back and talked him into coming home.

            Mom’s first impulse was to grab Jerry and give him a great big hug, but dad had everyone go to the living room and sit down.  When all were seated, dad began by saying, “Kids, your brother doesn’t love you.  He ran away from all of us and not only that, he took your dog.  If he loved you, he wouldn’t have run away.”  All were stunned and sat in silence.  “Jerry,” he said, “what do you think your punishment should be?”  By this time, a few sniffles could be heard from more than one person.  After some consideration, Jerry admitted that he needed to be whipped with a belt. “How many licks should you have?” dad asked.  Jerry finally decided that ten licks would be appropriate.

            Jerry’s dad looked at each family member, one by one, and asked, “Would you be willing to take some of Jerry’s licks?”  Justin said that he hadn’t been the one to run away, so he didn’t think he should have to take any licks.  Jane agreed to take one or two for him.  James agreed to take one or two for him.  Mom was surprised when she was asked if she would be willing to take some of the licks.  After all, she was a parent!  She didn’t agree to take any licks.

            By this time, there was not a dry eye in the house.  Dad handed the belt to Jerry and said, “Jerry, I will take all ten licks for you!”

            Dad got up, leaned across the back of the chair and insisted that Jerry give him all ten licks.  Of course, Jerry did not want to give any licks and started not hitting hard, but dad insisted that he hit him harder.  It was finally over!

            John 3:16 tells us that there is a heavenly Father who loves us so much that he gave his only son to “take our licks” for us on the cross of Calvary. 

            Isn’t it wonderful to have a father’s love?  

ReplyReply allForwardAdd reaction

Children Learn from the Past

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come: Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Learn from the Past

         Memorial Day is not just for adults.  Children can gain much benefit from participating in Memorial Day traditions.  The holiday provides a wonderful opportunity for parents to tell stories of family history as well as explaining some of the past wars that have been fought for our freedom.  The ritual of decorating graves brings a reality that life on this earth has an ending, and we need to make good use of the time we have here.

         Children can gain a sense of pride from learning of accomplishments of past ancestors.  As they hear stories from parents of the good accomplishments and heroic deeds of relatives, a feeling of “I want to do something heroic, too” is instilled in children.  They gain a higher purpose in life and do not concentrate so much on self pleasure.  Stories of “black sheep” in the family should also be told as examples of what not to become. Children are quite often surprised to hear of both good and bad examples in the family background.  Their lives are greatly influenced by these stories that can come only from the family.

         Memorial Day is a time to remember not only family members who have passed away, but it is also a time to remember those who have fought for our country.  Children should hear this at least every year.  Even if the stories have been told before, they should be told again.  Hearing such stories brings a sense of reality to life that is often lacking in today’s children.  It also instills a sense of appreciation for our country and the freedom we still enjoy.  A walk through many cemeteries will reveal the small Civil War gravestones of so many who fought in that war.  Just the walk, itself, is a good history lesson for children.

         If decorations are being taken to the graves of past loved ones, let the children hold the decorations and put them in place.  Doing so brings home the reality of death.  Although this may sound a bit gruesome, children need to learn that death is a part of life.  Some people opt to give donations to charities in memory of loved ones rather than spend the money on flowers. In such a case, include the children in the planning process and let them help in any way possible even to the point of using some of their own money.

         A good way to cap off the day’s activities is to have a family picnic or some other family activity.  There will probably be time for games.  At this time of year, outdoor games can be played with the children to make the day a pleasant memory for them.  Nothing makes a child happier than to play games with parents.  They think it is really funny to watch parents run and play. It is especially fun if they can beat their parents in a game.

         Memorial Day can be a day to remember the past, have meaningful fun in the present, and help children be better adults for the experience in the future.

What Can We Reasonably Expect From Children?

Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Door to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…..) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; patlambchristianauthor.com

What Can We Reasonable Expect from Children?

Train up a child…

What Can We Reasonably Expect from Children?

         It seems that there is a certain belief permeating society that we should not do anything to children to make them feel badly.  Many have come to believe that so simple a thing as making a child sit still is not good for the child. Has anyone ever really known of a child being hurt in any way by sitting still?  Perhaps all of this fear of harming a child came about when so-called “experts” told us we were not to spank children. No matter where it began, it seems to have caused us to raise a generation or two of children who are generally undisciplined and not really happy.  

         There are certain basic things we can and should expect of children.  If we all could agree on these things, there would be more consistency in how those many adults touching a child’s life would deal with children.

         I believe that basic expectations as relating to a child’s behavior are as follows:

  • Children should act in no way that would affect others around them negatively. An individual’s freedom ends when it begins to take away the freedom of another.
  • Children should be quiet when someone else is speaking and wait until that person is finished before talking.
  • Children should listen to adults and not interrupt when they are talking.
  • Children should learn that certain places are alright for running and certain places are not appropriate for running.
  • Children should learn to speak softly and not yell at others unless they are playing outside games or if it is appropriate in a certain situation.
  • Children should not touch the belongings of others unless invited to do so.
  • Children should not ask for things that others have.  They need to learn to wait to be invited to have something.
  • Children should always knock before entering another person’s house or room.
  • Children should never open a refrigerator, drawers, or doors to rooms in another person’s home.
  • Children should remember to say “excuse me”. “I’m sorry”, “thank you”, and “please” at appropriate times.
  • Children should not touch things in stores when shopping without first checking with parents.
  • Children should learn to let others go first.  
  • Children should stand and let elderly people have their seats when there are no other seats available.  
  • Children should never talk back in a negative way to adults.  It is alright for them to disagree in a nice way, however.

How different all this sounds from what we are now seeing on TV as our college students act as they do!  Do those students look happy?  Of course not!  Bad behavior never produces happiness!!  We have a right to expect acceptable behavior from college-age “children”.  

These are a few things that we should expect children to do. Space does not permit listing everything. This is a good start. If we follow these suggestions, the boys and girls will not get out of hand. We need to get over the idea that children today are different.  Children are basically the same as they always were.  It is the parents and teachers who are different in their expectations and teaching of the children.  Children who “know the rules” and obey them are more secure and happier children than those who go untaught and undisciplined. Needless to say, adults are happier as well.  It is much more pleasant to be around children  (or adults) who can act nicely.

Time to Plan the Summer for the Kids!

Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Time to Plan the Summer with the Kids

         It has been said that those who fail to plan are actually planning to fail.  Now that the school year is almost at a close, it would be wise to sit down with the children and plan out the summer.  Summer provides an opportunity to spend more time with the children and teach them things that are not taught at school.  Goals need to be set for improvement of needed areas in the spiritual, mental, physical, and social realms.  The more the children are involved in the setting of these goals and plans, the more apt they will be to adhere to them.

         Setting goals involves a certain amount of self-evaluation.  Children need to be asked to be honest in talking about where they think they can improve in each of the four areas mentioned.  An easy way to do this is to use four strips of paper marked off in inches with one inch being the lowest and 10 inches being the highest. Use one strip to represent each of these four areas: social, mental, physical, spiritual.  Ask the child to tear off the strips to show where they think they are in the development in each area; then, place the strips together as if to form a square.  If the child is equally developed, there will be a perfect square.  More likely, however, some strips will be shorter than others.  The short strips show where the child should improve.  Activities for the summer should be chosen to improve the child in the areas needed.  

         As parents spend more time with children during the summer, vacation and play activities can be planned as needed.  Most children need more physical activity.  Should this be the case with your children, one goal might be to involve them in sports teams.  The whole family can have lots of fun as they take part in cheering, providing refreshments, etc. If the children need social development, plans can be made to have outings with families who have children approximately the same age to develop friendship and social manners.  There are many good activities provided by churches such as Vacation Bible School, summer camps, or other get-togethers to provide Spiritual growth.  The selection of trips to educational sites greatly helps children academically.  

         Schools have little or no time to teach children about the care of the home.  Parents need to make sure that children have chores to do around the house and that they are taught how to do them properly.  There are many minor repairs that can be done at home to save money and children need to be taught how to do them.  Cleanliness of the home, cooking, mending of clothes, proper care of appliances and furniture, and lawn care need to be learned while children have time to practice things taught. Many teenage girls love to paint and redecorate a room during the summer.  Many teenage boys love to work on an old car or piece of machinery.  Many teenagers will obtain their first job outside the home, but they will probably still have time to do other things mentioned.

         The summer will go by all too fast.  When fall comes, many will be saying, “Where did the summer go?”  Plan now to use the summer wisely with children before it is gone.

How We Harm Our Children

Uncategorized,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How We Harm our Children

       The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God.  When this gift first arrives, we are all excited at the precious little miracle and have high hopes of it becoming the perfect adult.  However, as the little bundle grows into a demanding individual, we are tempted to lose our original intentions of raising a perfect child and may begin pulling away and even resenting the intrusion on our own pleasure and self-fulfillment.

         As children grow, we tend to become confused.  It isn’t as much fun as we thought it would be to have a child.  There seems to be a constant demand on our time and energy.  We begin to do things that are harmful to children as we draw back from our responsibilities of raising the God-given gift as the giver intended.  Many times we do things that harm a child while having good intentions.  Following are some things that we do that I believe harm children:

  • Neglect to step in when a child needs instruction.  (Children are left wondering what to do.)
  • Think that all children should have fun all the time.  (Fun does not develop character. Hardships develop character.)
  • Let a child always do what it wants to do.  (Children need boundaries for security.)
  • Substitute things for time. (Time with parents is far more valuable than things that money can buy.)
  • Give a child all the freedom it wants. (Children learn self-discipline by obeying rules.)
  • Over-discipline a child.  (Children learn by suffering consequences of the decisions they make. Sometimes we need to let children make their own decisions and suffer the results.  Experience is the best teacher.)
  • Stepping in and rescuing a child from the consequences of a decision the child has made. (We become enablers by letting the child think that whatever he/she does, we will always bail him/her out.
  • Letting a child eat whatever and whenever it wants. (The body needs proper nutrition to function well.  Parents should see that a child eats healthy foods. (Soda is not a healthy food!)
  • Letting a child talk so as to dominate conversations.  (Children need to learn to listen to others and respect opinions of others.)
  • Insisting that a child be promoted in school when that child has not mastered the skills of the grade level he/she is in. (Children just get in deeper and deeper, become frustrated, and develop low self-esteem.)
  • Not seeing to it that children have chores to do to contribute to the family.  (Children need to learn that things in life should be earned and most are not free.)

These are a few things we can watch out for as we raise our most cherished gifts—our children.  There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but each of us can strive to improve in our parenting skills.  Children are a real pleasure if they learn to live as Christ would have them live, but children who are neglected and left to their own desires seldom are a pleasure to be around.   Proverbs 23:24 tells us that, “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him.”