Category Archives: Raising kids

Children and Learning Disabilities

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble. www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children and Learning Disabilities

Train up a child…

Children and Learning Disabilities

       We hear a great deal about children who have learning disabilities.  There are children who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Behavior Disorder, Dyslexia, and recently I heard of an instance where children were being diagnosed with obedience disorder.  One has to wonder about the authenticity of many of these diagnoses. 

         With the wide use of drugs and alcohol during recent years, we have to consider the possibility that many babies have been born carrying the effects of the usage of these substances by their parents.  No doubt, there has been some effect upon the ability of those children to cope with life. On the other hand, one can’t help but wonder if many children are labeled with the terms mentioned simply because those working with the children can come up with no way to deal with the needs the children have. In addition to the effects of substance abuse, children are also affected by nutrition and inherent interests.

         I had occasion several years ago to visit a neonatal ward in a hospital that specialized in babies born with problems.  It was horrible to watch little babies, so small you could hold them in your hand, shiver and shake with withdrawal symptoms from drugs because their mothers had used drugs while carrying them. When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we learned that some parents would put alcohol in the baby bottles on the weekend to put them out while they had a good time.  Now, I know of homes where children are constantly with cigarette smoke and they are getting the effects of the secondhand smoke.  This affects their health and possibly they have withdrawal symptoms needing “a smoke” during school hours.  Research shows that a large percentage of retardation is caused by mothers using alcohol while they were pregnant. There is much evidence to indicate that substances affect a child’s behavior and learning ability.

         When I was teaching GED classes,  I had a student enroll in my GED class who told me that he drank two 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew and smoked two packs of cigarettes each day.  He couldn’t understand why he was having a difficult time sitting in class and concentrating on studying!  Although this sounds extreme, it is not an isolated incident. Caffeine is not a good thing for children and too much caffeine and sugar is not good for adults.  (Four grams of sugar equals one teaspoon.  One large Mountain Dew has about 23 teaspoons of sugar.) Many adults allow children to drink a great deal of soda with caffeine, give them large amounts of sugar, and do not watch the diets of their children.  What a child consumes certainly affects learning and behavior.         

         When God created us, He didn’t create us with the idea in mind that all were to fit in a mold of behavior expected by the educational personnel in today’s schools.  I’m not sure that our ideas of how children are to respond to our teaching are how God intended all children to respond. Children are born with dominance in three or four intelligences. Children who have the “body” intelligence will naturally find it more difficult to sit quietly and pay attention in school.

         There is probably no person alive who does not have some difficulty at some time or another in learning something.  We have to find ways to work with ourselves to cope with the difficulties we have in order to learn what we need to survive.  As parents and teachers, we need to help children learn to cope with their challenges.  Unfortunately, labeling a child with a disability name often enables a child to feel excused for lack of accomplishment.  Children grow up thinking they can’t do some things and they simply stop trying. We need to use common sense in working with children when they have challenges to learning. 

Children and Santa

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way, My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon.com; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Santa

       For a long time, Santa has been our society’s focal point of Christmas.  He, no doubt, has sold many million dollars worth of toys.  He has produced much laughter.  He has caused the eyes of children to light up.  In reality, he has been the only reason many people observe Christmas.

         What is the current status of Santa?  Our computer-literate generation of children is not easily fooled.  In truth, how many of us grown-ups ever really believed in Santa?  Some children were fooled simply because they believed that their parents would never lie to them.  Others believed because they thought that by believing, they might get more gifts. Many of us could easily see the impossibility of someone flying around the whole world in one night and stopping at each house and going down each chimney.  We felt that it was insulting our intelligence to expect us to believe such a far-out story.  

         Today, we have many fat Santas at malls, department stores, parades, etc.  Do we really think that our children are not intelligent enough to figure out that they are too big to fit in a chimney?  Even a toddler can question why there are so many Santas.  

         A bigger question involves the feelings of a child who truly believes in Santa because he trusts his parents to never lie, and then finds out that the parents did, indeed, lie to him/her.  What happens, then, when the parents tell the child about an invisible Jesus?  For that matter, can the child believe the parents at any time if they deceived them with a Santa?  

         Our children cannot be shielded from Santa.  Our society sees to it that Santa is visible over and over.  It is a situation we must deal with.  We don’t want to rob our children of the fun of Christmas, but, at the same time, we don’t want our children to lose trust in us. A parent cannot avoid making a decision as to how to handle Santa.

         One idea for parents is to tell the children that to pretend there is a Santa is a fun game that is played at Christmastime.  Just as children play pretend in other areas, parents play pretend with the child about Santa. When little girls play pretend “mommy” with dolls, or little boys may play pretend” soldier with army toys, they do not really think they are grown.  It is alright to play pretend as long as children can come back to reality. This stimulates creativity. By letting the children know up front that Santa is a pretend game, future disappointment is eliminated.  It would be a good idea to explain that Santa represents giving and making others happy.  That is something that Jesus wants us to do. 

         Santa will probably be around for a long time to come, but deceiving children should end. We should never lie to children!   

         It is important that we create a pleasing experience for children at Christmas without leaving them with the feeling at a later time that they have been deceived.  Different personalities handle this in different ways.  Ultimately, whatever means is used, children should be left with understamding the real meaning of Christmas.  Children need to understand that Christmas is a celebration of the time that God sent his only son into the world to show His love for us.  

“Why is this Happening to Me?”

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By Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me: When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.c

Train up a child…

A Thanksgiving Story

            Here is a story you can share about Thanksgiving. Reading or telling this story will help children appreciate what others have gone through in the past and how it affects us now.

Why is This Happening to Me?

            About four hundred years ago, there were some Indian tribes who lived in what is now Massachusetts.  White people did not yet live in this country, but some had been here exploring new lands. One time a ship carrying white men came to explore the coast.  They were fascinated with the Indians.  They decided to capture some and take them back to England to show people there what Indians looked like. A young man named Squanto was one of the Indian boys captured.

            While in England, the men decided to teach the Indian boys they captured to speak English. When Squanto had learned enough English, they took him back with them to what is now our country to use him as an interpreter and a guide as they continued exploring.

            While Squanto was back here in what is now America, he was tricked by some other white men and taken to Spain to be sold as a slave. Some monks bought him, and he lived with them for a time and learned about the “white man’s God”.  After living at the monastery for some time, someone took him back to England and from there he was taken to America to be used as an interpreter and guide once again.

            On this final trip back to our country, he did such a good job as interpreter and guide, that those who were exploring decided to let Squanto return to his tribe.  When he arrived at the place where his tribe lived, he found that his whole tribe had died of a disease, and he was the only Patuxent Indian left!

            Squanto moved in with another tribe of Indian people whose chief was named Samoset.  It was a short time later that the pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock. The pilgrims had prayed and prayed about going some place where they could have freedom to worship God as they felt they should.  They had asked God to watch over them and care for them.  Imagine how surprised they were when they arrived and met Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English!

            Squanto moved to the village that the pilgrims started.  He lived with the pilgrims and taught them to hunt, plant, fish, and make treaties with other tribes of Indians so they could live peacefully together. The winters were very harsh and many of the pilgrims died during the first year.  They did not have medicines then like we have now, and their food was scarce.  Some people starved to death. 

            Squanto died in 1622.  He asked Governor Bradford to pray for him that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven.

            Had it not been for Squanto, it’s possible that none of the pilgrims would have survived.  He played a very important part in our country’s history.

Note:  It is well that we remember this story.  It might be a good idea to clip it and keep it for future use.  I have used it before and plan to use it again.  It is a story we all need to know and remember.  

            After telling the story, discuss it with those present.  Here are some questions that may be used for discussion:

  • How do you think Squanto and the other boys felt when they were captured?
  • Do you think it was easy for Squanto to learn English?
  • Do you think Squanto ever said to himself, “Why is this happening to me?”
  • What would have probably happened to Squanto if he had not been captured?
  • What do you think the pilgrims were thinking when they arrived and found Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English?
  • Do you think God worked in Squanto’s life for a purpose?
  • Do you think God has a purpose for your life?

Children Build on Successes

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is..

Train up a child…

Children Build on Successes

         What parent or teacher does not want to teach in such a way as to produce the optimum learning in a child?  Through the ages, much research and experimentation have been done to determine how a child learns best.  All of this, along with plain common sense, tells us that children learn best when they build on little successes.

         Keeping this fact in mind, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: “How does a child define success?”  “How can a teacher or parent make sure that a child succeeds as that child determines success?

         Children most often define success according to the amount of praise received for a task accomplished.  If the child receives a little praise, the child feels that s/he has done alright.  If a child receives a great deal of praise, that child feels especially good about what has been accomplished and feels success.  Immediately, the child wants to repeat the action to receive more praise.  Success gives a child hope and confidence in ability to achieve.  The child will automatically select activities similar to those for which praise was received.  Conversely, a child will avoid activities where success was not experienced. This demonstrates the need for praising children rather than scolding them. However, the praise should never be false praise!  When a child receives false praise, s/he feels like they are doing great and are not motivated to improve.   

Praise needs to be focused on the achievement rather than the child.  Too much praise for the child leads to a child having a feeling of superiority.  We don’t want children growing up feeling they are better than others.  However, we do want them to have confidence in their ability to do a good job.

         It is important that tasks be delegated commensurate with a child’s ability to succeed.  If tasks are too difficult, the child cannot experience satisfaction. There is a value in “instant success”.  When we introduce something new, it would be well to take a small portion that is easy to learn and start with that.  When the child succeeds in one little thing, s/he is encouraged to tackle more.  The child has instantly felt success and is eager to experience more success.

         “Chunk learning” is a phrase commonly used in education circles.  It simply means that it is better to take a chunk at a time rather than throw the whole thing at a child all at once.  “Chunk learning” allows a student to feel more success and avoids much confusion in processing information in the brain.  When too much is presented at one time, the child becomes confused and bewildered with information and is often not able to sort through and classify it to “file it away” in the mind for future use.  

         It takes understanding on the part of the parent or teacher to know how much to expect children to grasp at one time and still feel successful.  New teachers have been told, “Don’t try to teach them all you know on the first day!”  We need to give information in doses that can be processed in a manner for the child to feel successful.  It is difficult to do this when we think of how very much a child needs to know to survive in our culture.  When teachers are expected to cover a certain amount of material in a certain amount of time, it becomes tempting to speed up to get through the lessons.  It is counterproductive to do so.  It is as if children start “putting on the brakes” when pressure, rather than success, is felt. No matter what society demands of a person, forcing a child to learn, when that child is not ready, is like trying to force a flower to bloom.

         Some parents and teachers can readily sense when a child is feeling successful and others seem to go blindly along never knowing when a child is feeling good or bad about something.  Love is the quality that gives understanding.  We need to love the ones with whom we are working.  When we really care, we will want children to succeed and make efforts to teach accordingly.   

That First Driver’s License!

parenting, Raising kids

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children,Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

That First Driver’s License!

       The memory of our oldest son getting his first driver’s license is still vivid in my mind.  He came out of the license bureau waving his license with a big smile on his face.  “Scoot over, Mom!”  He said.  I reluctantly moved over from the driver’s spot.  He had aged one year.  I felt as though I had aged ten years! I tensely sat and watched as he started the car and backed up.  We finally got on the main street and headed home.  I am probably the only mother in the world who yelled “hurry up” to a son who was just learning to drive, but when he came to intersections with cars whizzing both ways, I had visions of being broad sided on both sides if he didn’t hurry and meld with the flow of the traffic.  I suppose that his inching along was to impress me with his cautiousness, but it wasn’t working.

         Many parents have experienced similar situations.  When a teen gets that first driver’s license, the world changes!  Household rules need to be adjusted.  Teens need to thoroughly understand the responsibility they have upon receipt of the license and parents may need to learn to get by with less sleep!

         A “sit-down” session with a teen needs to occur before going for the license.  It would be good if there were a place to take a teen prior to receipt of the license to see a film such as is shown to folks who are required to go to classes after traffic violations.  They need to know about the teenage driving statistics that are available on the Internet.  They need to be reminded that the brain development of teenagers is such that they tend to take more risks and be less cautious.  A teen needs to understand that the car keys will immediately be confiscated when certain things happen such as the abuse of the privilege, not adhering to curfew, etc.  Most of all, the teen needs to understand that driving is not a right, but it is a privilege for those who are responsible enough to handle such an expensive vehicle. Each family needs to set rules before the license is obtained.  

         I seriously question the wisdom of a 16 yr. old having a driver’s license.  I believe the law should be changed and licenses be given to 16 yr. olds in hardship cases only.  In addition, I believe that teens under 18 should have to maintain good grades in school. Teens (or anyone else) who has attention deficit disorder should not be given a license to operate a vehicle.  Driving a car requires constant attention.  Why should a person who can’t pay attention be given a license to drive? 

There is no real need for most 16 yr. olds to drive. Let’s be honest.  Many parents want their children to have a license so the parents won’t be bothered with driving the children where they need to go. 

Many times a student will drop out of school upon receipt of a driver’s license.  By raising the age to qualify for a license and requiring acceptable grades in school, we undoubtedly would have less dropouts, students studying harder to learn, and best of all, less deaths of sixteen-year-olds.   

         Since the law currently allows a driver’s license with few qualifications, parents must be even more vigilant to see that their children drive responsibly.  This involves making sure that the teens completely understand the responsibilities involved and that the privilege of driving can be revoked at any time.  Further, they need to understand the seriousness of making a mistake that could haunt them for life. 

Words that Could Change the World

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Words that Could Change the World


There are times when it seems that our present society has lost all sense of good manners!  There was a time when people seemed to care if they acted appropriately.  We were taught to say, “Thank you”, “I’m sorry”, “please” and “excuse me”!

What changed?  How often do we now hear those words?  I dare say not nearly as often as we should.  Perhaps our children would learn to say them more if we, the adults they pattern after, would say them more often.

It seems that often our children have come to expect being pampered and given things for free.  They don’t seem to understand that no one is obligated to pamper them.  As parents and grandparents, we need to teach them to appreciate what they are given.  One way to do that is to require them to say “thank you” or to write thank you notes to the giver.  

It is sad to watch some children bump into adults and just keep going without a mere expression of “excuse me” or “I’m sorry”.  Many times I have watched children line up for treats and just grab them and start eating without so much as “please” or “thank you”.

Whose fault is it that we have college level young people who feel that someone else should pay their loans?  Why is it that so many times we cannot get good service when we are placing orders or trying to get our necessary business done?  I dare say that it is because parents, teachers, and others are not requiring our children to have good manners.  Just saying the words requires children to think about the fact that someone other than self has been involved in their welfare.  That is a step in the right direction to improving our world!

Teaching Children to Be Resourceful

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www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Teaching Children to be Resourceful

         When I graduated from high school and was preparing to leave home                                 to go to college, the youth director at the little church I attended in Verona, MO, bought a small notebook and filled it with wise sayings to guide me through life.  One of those sayings was, “An industrious man can do more with a rusty wrench than a lazy man with all the tools in the shop.”  This saying has stuck with me through the years as there have been many times when I did not have everything I would have liked to achieve goals.

         Life certainly can take some strange turns. We never know when the time may come that we cannot afford to buy what we want or need.  It is important for children to realize this fact.  Most people find themselves, at one time or another, in a situation where they are short of money.  

         Children need to be prepared to learn how to do without new things and use what they have in more ways. Everyone likes to have new things, but those new things are appreciated much more when they are not so easy to get. It is good for each of us to take inventory of our many blessings and use everything wisely.  We need to be good stewards of what we have whether we are poor or wealthy.  

         My dad used to say, “Your mom can fix anything with a bobby pin!”  (A “bobby pin” was the name for a hairpin.)  My dad sat each of my sisters and myself on his lap and taught us to tell time with his railroad watch before we ever started to school. Since this was during the time of the Great Depression, it was necessary for families to learn to get along with what they had. As children watched adults practice resourcefulness, they learned to think a little harder about saving money and using their own resources wisely.  Today, children are still learning by watching adults either squander what they have or use their resources wisely.

         Although we may not go back to darning socks to make them last longer, children can learn to use notebook paper wisely instead of making one small mark or two and throwing it away. They can learn not to grind their pencils away in a sharpener.  They can learn to take portions small enough to finish when they eat so that food is not wasted.  They can learn to put away their belongings to prevent loss.  They can learn to close bread wrappers so the bread doesn’t dry out. They can learn to stay out of mud puddles so their shoes last longer.  They can be taught to close doors right away to save on the utility bill. They can even learn that brand names on clothing are not always important.  

         Although there are many good educational toys to purchase for teaching children, there are many items in our homes that can be used effectively for teaching if we choose. Marshmallows, macaroni, popcorn, raisins, and other items in the kitchen pantry can be used for counting with children as we help them with math homework.  Games can be created between brothers and sisters to teach resourcefulness. Give them a task to perform and a limited amount of resources for the project. See who can be the most creative in coming up with ways to accomplish the task.  It is actually fun to be resourceful!

         Some people accomplish so very little because they spend all of their time complaining that they don’t have what they need.  Let’s help our children  become individuals who can get a job done with what they have!  There is a big difference between needs and wants. They will learn this difference as they become more and more resourceful. 

Checklists: Real Voice Savers

counseling, parenting, Raising kids

Train up a child…by Pat Lamb, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Checklists: Real Voice Savers

         Have you ever found yourself yelling at the kids?  Dr. James Dobson says that trying to direct children by yelling is like trying to drive a car by honking the horn.  Have you ever thought about how tired you get telling the kids things over and over? There is a better way.

         Now, at the beginning of the new year, is a good time to make sure everyone understands individual responsibilities.  If responsibilities, consequences, and rewards are discussed now, things will go smoothly during the year.  Consequences and rewards need to be clarified so there is no misunderstanding later. Then, when children face consequences, it is by their own choice, not the parents, because they clearly understood ahead of time what would happen according to the choices they made.  No heated discussions need occur.  Parents can simply say, “I’m sorry that you made that choice.  You knew what the consequences were when you made your decision.”

         Making checklists can not only save your voice, but they can save much time and effort.  You may say, “But I don’t have time to make a checklist!” Believe me, it takes less time to make a list than to repeat the same thing over and over and then backtrack to see that things have been done.

         Start with making a list of chores that children need to do.  It helps to have the children actually do the list themselves with your input.  Children have a pretty good sense of what they can and can’t do. Our daughter, a single mom, used to have her children sit at the dinner table while she cooked the evening meal and have them do their homework and make out a list of what they needed to do the next day.  It worked beautifully.  The next day, she simply looked at the list to see what had been checked off.  If something had not yet been done, they discussed that evening how it could be accomplished.  They worked as a team.  The children fixed their own lunches in the morning before school and were able to do so because they had discussed ahead of time what they would have and listed those items.  After a few times, the list was not needed.  They knew what to do without the list.

         When our daughter’s children were in upper elementary and high school, a color-coded chart was put on the refrigerator.  It could be told at a glance what had or had not been accomplished.  When something was not done, our daughter simply said, “Dylan, I noticed that you haven’t checked off ________.  When do you plan to do it?”  The children were responsible for the task but were permitted to “trade off” with each other if soccer practice or something else interfered. If they wanted to go to a friend’s house, they knew that they could not go unless chores were done, and they didn’t even bother to ask.  

         I’ve never heard our daughter yell at her children.  Now her son is working in a responsible position and her daughter has a Master’s degree in civil engineering and works for a reputable company..  They are both very responsible individuals.  

         If you haven’t tried checklists, I urge you to do so.  They really work!

It’s Not Just Child’s Play

Christmas gifts, parenting, Raising kids

Train up a child…

It’s Not Just Child’s Play!

         It is a wonderful thing when parents will play with their children.  There is great value in time spent simply having fun with them.  This time is an opportunity for bonding, teaching, and creating memories.

Right after Christmas there is an opportunity to explore the new toys and games together.  When dad or mom get on the level of the child and explore the new possibilities of enjoyment, the child learns to appreciate the fact that the parent has interest in his/her world.  A special relationship between the child and parent is created.  This new relationship results in a better understanding of each another. 

In the event that a toy breaks, as many are apt to do, as the parent helps repair that toy, the child learns about how things work. Parents have an opportunity to teach new words and understandings to the child.

Even if there are no new games or toys, parents and children can create their own games. Our grown children still laugh about playing “sandwich” or “slobber ear” with their dad, and I laugh when I see them play the same games with their children.  These are rough and tumble games on the floor (or grass in the summer) where all involved laugh and giggle as they try to get away from each other to avoid having an ear chewed or to become the bottom bread of a sandwich.  They laugh as “the meat” wriggles out to try to become the top bread and the bottom bread tries even harder to escape being the bottom bread. It is important, however, for the parent to know when enough is enough in these games.  It is cruel to tickle children too much.  Also, weight of individuals needs to be considered so no person is hurt.

Many board games offer opportunities for learning as well as having fun.  Long winter evenings are well spent in playing games such as Monopoly, Balderdash, Sequence, or others with older children. In Monopoly, children learn much about money. They learn to count the money as well as a great deal about how business works.  Balderdash is a great game for teaching writing, persuasion, and vocabulary. Our family has laughed until we cried at some of the silly definitions written for some of the words in Balderdash. Board games designed for younger children teach a child to take turns and that they cannot always win.  They can learn to lose graciously.

Laughter is a good medicine. King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”.  Playing and laughing with our children relieves our stress as well as theirs.  We sometimes forget that children, too, have stress as they seek to please their parents and teachers.  

Time spent playing with children is a wonderful investment that yields dividends for eternity.  Children grow up so fast!  Let’s take advantage of the opportunities we have to spend time with them while we can. 

Avoiding the Christmas “Letdown”

Christmas gifts, counseling, parenting, Raising kids

Train up a child…

Avoiding the Christmas “Letdown”

       Many people seem to experience a letdown feeling after gifts are opened at Christmas.  This is a natural feeling when one has built up in the mind for several weeks a vision of how wonderful Christmas will be.  Then when the gifts are all opened, it seems to be over.  Not only that, but if someone didn’t appear to like the gift we gave, or if we, ourselves, were disappointed with what we got, there is an added negative emotion.  We may even feel guilt for not doing as much as we thought we should or because we don’t appreciate our gifts as much as we think we should.

         There are things we can do ahead of time to prevent these unpleasant feelings.  Disappointment is in proportion to expectations.  Before Christmas, we need to control our expectations.  We need to be realistic and realize that seldom is there a picture-perfect Christmas.  If our family Christmas does not turn our just as we envisioned, the truth is that probably very few others did either.  It is nice to pretend that it was perfect…especially for the sake of not offending or disappointing someone else.  Nevertheless, let’s admit that there are not many perfect Christmases. People are people.  People are not perfect.  

         We have all seen or heard of jokes about the “off-the-wall” gifts that husbands sometimes buy wives. Why do the wives get so upset?  It usually is not about the gift as much as it is about the lack of understanding.  The wife is disappointed because she feels that her husband did not care enough about her to try to understand what she really wanted.  It may be possible that she feels that household items are for everyone, including him, not just her.  When a husband gives household items, it is like saying, “You are the housekeeper and you should be happy with this tool to make your work easier.” The wife feels that she should be more than a housekeeper to her husband, and he should feel that way, too.  

         The spirit of love that is felt at Christmas can be carried over throughout the year.  It does not need to end when the gifts are opened. There are many wonderful people who know how to carry this feeling on and on.  Some retired folks, especially, seem to understand that the new purpose in their lives is to serve others.  They no longer have to work to support a family and now have the time to be of assistance to others.  These people feel less of a letdown after Christmas because they have a purpose that is never ending.

         Having an immediate new family project in mind helps to keep the children focused on the future.  The truth is that playing with toys and using the gifts often is not as much fun as the anticipation of doing so.  To introduce a new project provides the anticipation now missing.  A discussion with the children about how to carry on the spirit of Christmas can be a valuable tool in ridding them of a letdown feeling.

         The best remedy for most ills is to keep busy doing activities that have a positive result. December 26 does not mean that we have to stop enjoying the wonderful feeling of making others happy.