Category Archives: High School seniors

It’s Tough to be a Teen

counseling, High School seniors, parenting, Raising kids,

Train up a child…

 

It’s Tough to be a Teen

 

I once viewed a video from the Missouri School Board Association that started off with a statement that one out of every five students in Missouri high schools contemplates suicide at one time or another. What a terrible statistic! The gentleman speaking went on to encourage all school workers in Missouri to be on the lookout for troubled students.

Why would teens want to commit suicide? One of the reasons given by experts is lack of hope. Another reason is the use of drugs. A third reason, in my opinion, may be a lack of religious training to educate them with the fact that suicide is not an end, but a beginning of an after life.

It is difficult for teenagers to cope in society. Most adults expect teens to be a problem. This causes teens to feel that it is normal for them to do things they shouldn’t be doing. I believe, as do many other teachers with whom I’ve spoken, that around age 12 a child comes to a crossroad in life. At this point, the child makes a decision as to whether he/she will try to live a good life or just go for doing what feels good at the moment. Peer pressure influences this decision greatly. In addition to peer pressure, children at this age have generally come in contact with many different sets of values. Each teacher in school has his/her own set of rules and values. Parents have a set of rules and values. If the child comes from a broken home, the rules and values of step-parents have also probably differed. The children have to deal with the values and rules of grandparents from both the real parents and the step parents. Is it any wonder that children become confused? This is especially true considering the fact that most children have not attended church to learn the real values taught there.

Hormonal changes at this point in life have a great effect on the child. Studies show that the cerebellum, the back part of the brain, is actually larger in puberty in proportion to the cerebrum, the front part of the brain. This causes the teen to act on impulse rather than thinking things through. It isn’t until about age 20 that the two parts of the brain come to correct proportion. Rapid growth accompanies the hormonal changes and causes a child to be awkward. One week, when a child reached for a glass of water, the arm was at one length. Soon after, the arm is longer and the brain hasn’t adjusted to the new length, and the child may turn the glass over and spill the water. On top of all of this, horror of horrors, pimples start appearing on the face!

While all of these things are happening, children can be very cruel to each other. Bullying is terrible, but it does exist. We can’t guard every word that comes from the mouth of someone, but, thankfully, efforts are being made in many schools to stop bullying.

Is it any wonder that teens are looking for a way out of all of this? It is too bad that they don’t understand that suicide is not the answer. We need to remind teens that all that is happening is temporary, and if they can hold on, things will get better.

The very best thing parents can do is to get their children in a good church that teaches the love of Christ. If they understand this principle, they will always feel loved. As they are taught that God has a plan for each life, they experience hope that is so desperately needed. It is difficult to understand why more parents don’t get their children in church. It costs no money. Someone else is concerned for the child’s welfare. Many activities are provided that are wholesome activities. I could go on and on about the positive values of church and can think of no negative things. Let’s do what is best for our children and put our personal likes and dislikes aside.

Teens, Proms, and Graduation

counseling, High School seniors, parenting, Raising kids, , ,

Train up a child…

 

Teens, Proms, and Graduation

 

How exciting it is for upper high school students at this time of year! So much is happening! Memories are being made that will last for life. Emotions are running rampant. During this time of excitement, students are in the spotlight and can feel really special. They have a sense of pride of their accomplishments. Both students and parents are feeling apprehension about the future and are possibly feeling some fear. It is also a time of testing—perhaps the biggest test they have faced so far in their lives.

As the parents and students work together to get the best possible clothes, get hair fixed, and make plans for these last days of school, the teens are basking in the attention they are receiving. As they walk across the platform, hear their names called, and receive the handshake, it is a moment they have longed for and dreamed of. The audience is clapping and there is a real sense of accomplishment. The teens are feeling “on cloud nine”!

After the graduation ceremony, the celebration is a test. Will the students celebrate in a socially acceptable way, or will they throw away some of the principles that their parents and teachers have tried to get across? We’ve all heard stories of seniors who get killed in car accidents caused by drinking. We have to question if those students were really ready to become responsible citizens upon the completion of twelve or more years of school and even more years of training in the home. Project Graduation is an effort to give students an acceptable way of celebrating. Hats off to those who work so hard to provide this activity and to all those who donate to help the cause, but wouldn’t it be even better if it were not needed? In some cases perhaps it is simply something nice that is done for seniors. I would like to think that this is always the case. Reality tells us otherwise.

Many parents may spend some sleepless nights after graduation, wondering how their children will behave. The old saying that young people must “sow their wild oats” seems to excuse bad behavior. Those people who hold to this philosophy are perhaps forgetting that the Bible says, “Be not deceived, God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” (Gal. 6:7) It might be well to remind young people of this verse.

It is so important to instill real truths and desires in children when they are young, so they can pass this test at graduation and the many other tests that await the graduates. Again, there is a verse from the Bible that applies: “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Prov. 4:23) A child whose heart is right will not want to act in a wrong way. Actions come from what is truly in the heart.