Monthly Archives: March 2016

Alcohol Kills Teens

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Train up a child…

Alcohol Kills Teens

Alcohol is terrible for teens. Research shows that teens tend to take risks because the part of the brain that tells them to be cautious has not yet fully developed. Alcohol adds to the attitude of risk-taking and enhances the tendency to make poor decisions.
None of us would add gasoline to a burning fire that we were trying to put out; yet, that is similar to what we are doing to let teens have alcohol. They are already throwing caution to the wind and alcohol makes it worse.
It is sickening to watch some of the pictures that are coming from the areas where our college students are on spring break. Many of those students are still in their teens. Their lives are being altered and terrible things are happening. I wonder if Sodom and Gomorrah were worse than what is happening in those places. Our college and university campuses are not doing enough to stop the alcohol consumption on campus. I have been told that some teens went to register at a university and a booth was set up where they could get fake identification cards to enable them to buy alcohol!
Here are some facts that we need to consider:
5000 people under 21 die each year from alcohol related car crashes.
Most teen deaths related to alcohol are not traffic related. Sixty-eight percent are from other causes such as alcohol poisoning or injuries from accidents related to alcohol consumption.
Eleven per cent of all alcohol consumed in the United States is consumed by underage drinkers. Teens binge drink more than older consumers.
There are 189,000 emergency room visits by underage drinkers each year for injuries or other alcohol related problems.
Alcohol is the most commonly used and abused drug among teens in the U.S.—more than illegal drugs or tobacco.
There is additional information on the Internet that would be helpful in counseling teens. Most of this is provided by the Center for Disease Control. Some of it is from news reports from TV channels provided on the Internet.
There is much research being done now that is close to proving that some people become more easily addicted than others. If alcohol is offered to everyone, how are we to know if one of those people is a person whose DNA is such that they will become addicted? Do we really want that on our consciences?
Those people who are trying to make money by selling alcohol to teens are doing a terrible thing. Not only are they breaking the law by selling it to a teen, but they may be contributing to the death of someone. We should quickly report any such activity to the authorities.
Broken hearts, people injured for life, deaths, and unprepared for babies are all outcomes of alcohol. Do we really want our leaders of tomorrow binge drinking today?

Teen Discipline

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Train up a child…

Teen Discipline

By the time a child reaches the teens, discipline methods used in childhood may no longer get the desired results. Since each person is unique, all discipline must be tailored to the individual, but there are a few general principles that may be followed. A teen needs to be confident that all rules and discipline are designed for the good of the teen and not just for the convenience of the parent or worker. Whenever possible, teens need to be persuaded to make self-rules that are acceptable. All discipline should be tailored to the situation for obtaining positive results.
Quite often a teen gets the feeling that the world is against him/her. If teens can’t trust their parents, who can they trust? From birth, parents need to instill the idea that choices are made for the safety and well-being of the child. If this has been done, a teen is more likely to trust a parent’s judgement. “Because I told you so” is not a good enough reason for a teen. Teens are in a stage of breaking away from parents. They must know that the reason is for their benefit and not just to satisfy the parent. It is understandable, but not beneficial, for parents to become frustrated during these years because the children are usually frustrated and have so many problems. It is a trying time for both. Knowing that parents and teens are on the same side really helps to calm a teen.
“Laying down the law” is just the opposite of getting teens to reason for themselves what is right and wrong. If a teen is given the opportunity and help to reason out what is best, he/she is much more apt to follow the rules. Of course, we cannot allow teens to make bad rules. It is surprising, however, how teens are capable of making good rules if given the chance; then, parents, teachers, or leaders can help hold them to their own rules. The rules should be written down and posted and referred to when necessary.
Different problems require different tactics. We have two things with teens that give us leverage. They are embarrassment and taking away privileges. We can use these two things according to problems involved. If a child is acting out in school, the parent can threaten to go to school and sit with the child. If the threat doesn’t work, actually do it. If the teen violates curfew, let him/her know ahead of time that you will come looking or call the police because you are concerned for his/her safety. Taking away cell phones, car keys, etc. generally works in other cases.
It is always best to anticipate problems and head them off to keep from having to use measures of discipline. If a teen has proven trust first, and then been given a privilege, that teen will understand the importance of not breaking that trust. We must remember that teens are not through developing. We cannot just “turn them loose” to do what they want. They need very close supervision even if we have to hide the fact that we are aware of practically every move they make.

Why do Some Teens Hurt Themselves?

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Why do some Teens Hurt Themselves?

Why some teens tend to self-mutilate is a mystery that has not been solved. As I researched this topic, I found that there is still much study to be done. However, in talking with individuals who work closely with teens, I found some ideas that are worth considering.
It is sad to hear about teens who cut or burn themselves. It almost seems unbelievable that they would do such a thing; yet, in one area one worker estimated that as many as 80% of high school teens were doing so.
Research shows that girls are more likely to cut themselves while boys tend to burn themselves. Razor blades are often used by girls. Boys may use cigarettes to burn spots on their arms or other body parts. Knowing the reasons for this behavior would help us know how to work with the teens.
One possible reason teens self-mutilate is that with some it is almost a bragging right—somewhat like a little boy who is proud of a black eye. With boys, especially, it may be a way to look tough.
Another possibility is that it is a way to get attention. Teens have deep emotional hurts and often don’t know how to describe what is going on because, in many cases, they don’t know why they are feeling as they do. It is a visual way of showing hurt. Parents and others can see a cut and often immediately rally around with sympathy and much attention. It can be a cry for help. Inner hurt can’t be seen, so an outer visible hurt is necessary in the teen’s mind.
It has become a fad in some situations and teens simply may be doing it to be like the others in order to “fit in” to the crowd.
Some of the research I read says that in some instances teens actually get a rush because endorphins are created. Endorphins are substances created in the body to fight depression.
Another possibility is that a teen simply hates oneself and is not pleased with the body they have. Also, sometimes self-mutilation is followed by suicide and is a sign of deep depression. When the mutilation is done on the inside of the thigh or in places that cannot be seen, the reasons would not be for attention, bragging rights, or a fad.
One bright spot in my reading was that research shows that self-mutilation usually goes away in five years.
The turmoil that teens go through cannot, in my opinion, be overestimated. Even teens who are raised in what we would call good homes still have a lot of adjusting to do. In today’s culture, there are approximately 24 million fatherless children. If teens in good homes have problems, one can only try to imagine what kids are going through who come from broken homes.
There is one sure thing that we can always count on to help our teens. We can always show them the love described in I Corinthians 13 that includes patience, long-suffering, kindness. We need to walk tenderly, side by side with our teens and be near at all times.

Many Teens Consider Suicide

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Many Teens Consider Suicide

Teens have a great deal to cope with in a short period of time. It is not surprising that many become confused and give up hope. Research shows that there are contributing factors to teen depression that may lead to suicide. They are:
a new family formation (e.g. step-parents and step-siblings)
moving to a different community
physical or sexual abuse and emotional neglect
exposure to domestic violence
alcoholism in the home
substance abuse
divorce of parents

We should always take talk about suicide seriously. In addition to talk of suicide, there are other signs to watch for. However, since the teen years are so turbulent, these signs might appear anyway and not just when a teen is thinking of suicide. It is helpful to know them, however. Here are a few:
difficulty concentrating on schoolwork
neglect of personal appearance
obvious changes in personality
sadness and hopelessness (use of phrases such as, “What’s the use?” )
changes in eating patterns such as sudden weight gain or loss
changes in sleep patterns
general lethargy or lack of energy
violent actions
drug and alcohol use
symptoms that are often related to emotional state such as headaches, fatigue, stomach aches
loss of ability to tolerate praise or rewards
withdrawal from family or peers
loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities
Teens need to know that God has a purpose for their lives. If they believe in heaven and hell in afterlife, they will not think that suicide ends everything. A teen has a hard time understanding that time often takes care of problems and that their problems will pass. Sometimes, they mistakenly think that they will get even with someone by making them feel badly that they took their own life, not realizing that they won’t be around to experience the feelings they caused.
We need to be patient and understanding with our teens. Their problems are very real to them. What we may think is a little thing may be a very big thing in their perspective.