Monthly Archives: February 2017

Childhood: A Foundation for Life

parenting, Raising kids,

Train up a child…

 

Childhood: A Foundation for Life

 

It is during childhood that a person learns those things that become the basis for all decision making in life. If much is learned, the adult has a great deal upon which to build a successful life. If there are “chinks” in this foundation, the adult is found lacking those things needed to make good decisions or to be healthy and able to carry out the proper decisions. The four corners of the foundation of life are: social, mental, physical, and spiritual.

In our society, I’m afraid the greatest emphasis is placed on the social development of children. There seems to be a great concern for whether a child has friends and whether that child is having fun and enjoying life. In school, for years there has been social promotion. There has been a greater emphasis on the child being placed with children of the same age than whether the child has gained the knowledge so much needed. Although it is good that children learn to intermingle in social settings, perhaps this area is not where there is greatest need. Let’s ask ourselves the question, “Where in society are we separated by age rather than school or Sunday School?” Actually, most of life we are not separated by age but rather have to get along with all ages.

Secondly, there is emphasis placed on the mental aspect of a child’s foundation. There is much talk and writing about whether our schools are properly preparing our children for adulthood. We are mostly concerned about reading. “If a child can read, he can do anything,” I’ve heard people say. There is less emphasis currently being placed on math and language. We spend thousands of dollars to educate children to prepare them mentally for the challenges they will inevitably face.

Third, we are concerned about the physical well-being of the child. Obesity is a problem and we are hearing a little more about proper nutrition. Vaccinations are given to prevent certain diseases. Physical education programs in schools are supposed to be designed to teach children proper care of their bodies.

It would seem that in most cases the spiritual foundation of a child is given the least attention. It is unfortunate that this is given so little attention. I suspect that there are many children in our country who have never been in a church or had the Bible read to them. Many probably do not even have a Bible in the home. Although this part of a child’s foundation is probably the most neglected, it is the most important. It is the spiritual foundation that gives the child the values needed to function. It is also the spiritual foundation that helps the child through difficult and disappointing times. Without this foundation, as an adult there is nothing to fall back on when hard times come. The spiritual foundation gives answers through scripture to puzzling decisions that have to be made. This part of the foundation gives hope, motivation, and purpose to life.

The Easter season is a perfect time to nurture the spiritual foundation of children. Parents who may feel inadequate to work with the young in this area can take them to a church where they can receive the knowledge they need. As children memorize scripture, they are strengthening their foundation for the future. Hopefully, we can use this Easter season to further develop our children in this important spiritual area.

A Real Necessity

parenting, Raising kids

Train up a child…

A Real Necessity

 

There is one thing that is so very important for the success of a child in school and life. Without this, a child will be stuck on approximately the third grade level in math and not continue to progress. That child will be unable to manage money when he/she becomes an adult in spite of the fact that the desire may be there to do so.

What is that one thing? A child must know the multiplication tables!

It seems like such a “no-brainer” to say that children should learn their multiplication tables. However, during the 20+ years I have been helping adults earn a high school equivalency certificate, I have observed over and over that this vital part of the education of my students was not fulfilled. I have had students from at least ten different school systems and the story is the same. I have had nearly 1000 students enroll in the classes I have taught and probably 90% of them did not know their multiplication tables. Many of these students were on college level in reading indicating that the ability to learn was certainly there.

What accounts for the fact that the times tables have not been learned? In my opinion, there are several reasons (or perhaps excuses). Parents often leave this kind of thing up to the teachers. The teachers are pressured to cover a certain amount of material in large classes where individual attention is not possible. Modern math, several years ago, promoted the philosophy that if a student understood math, drill was not necessary. Our trend for fast food and fast learning tends to cause a child to expect learning to be easy. Attitudes of “somebody owes me something,” and “I am not responsible for myself,” cause a child to believe that he/she can get by without knowing the times tables. Social promotion has fostered that idea further by letting the child know that he/she will go on to the next grade whether or not all the material has been mastered.

What kind of logic says that if a child can’t do third grade work, that child can do fourth grade work? Students grow up thinking they are dumb and just can’t “get it” simply because they have not been required to “get it”. Some students go year after year in school, getting in deeper and deeper water and feeling more and more frustrated because they can’t handle the math that requires knowing the times tables.

In school, the multiplication tables are usually introduced at the end of second grade. In real life, we can begin working with children when they are toddlers to help them understand some number concepts.

When playing with small children, we can simply provide information by saying such things as, “Oh, I see two blue blocks here and two more blue blocks there. That makes four blocks. Two times two is four.” We need to constantly include such comments in conversation to help children become aware of numbers.

A great deal of math can be taught with a bag of M & M’s or a bag of jelly beans. They can be sorted into groups and counted to see how many groups of different numbers and colors can be made. When they have succeeded in learning some of the facts, they can be rewarded by allowing them to eat the candy.

We need to require older children to write the tables over and over. The more senses we use in learning, the faster we learn. By writing, the child is using touch and sight. If the child says them aloud while writing, that child is also using hearing.

Spanking a child to learn is not appropriate, although it may be appropriate to spank a child to make that child take time to do homework and try to learn. Drill is appropriate. There are many ways and opportunities to help the children with this vital information. All of the thousands of dollars and all of the new programs for education do very little good with math if a child does not know these basic facts.

Parents, grandparents, and teachers, it is so very important to make sure that your third and fourth graders learn their multiplication tables!

 

Love is Kind

parenting, Raising kids,

Train up a child…

 

Love is Kind

 

At this time of year with Valentine’s Day on our minds, our thoughts naturally turn to love. What is the real meaning of love?

This word is bantered around and used very casually, yet the true definition of love points out to us how we often fall short of really loving others as we should.

Real love requires effort on our part to demonstrate the characteristics that must be present to honestly say that we love someone. Love wants the best for someone else at the sacrifice of our own wants and desires. Love requires kindness to others. The quality of respect goes along with being kind.

Why is it that adults often think that they should show respect and kindness to other adults, yet they seem to overlook the children? Have you ever noticed how adults may stand and talk about children right in front of them as though the child did not hear what they were saying? We would not do that to another adult. Why do we do it to children? It is unkind and often embarrassing to a child to be talked about in such a manner. Comments overheard at these times can affect children for the rest of their lives.

I remember an incident that well demonstrates how children can be affected by adult conversations in their presence. When we were young, my mom would dress up my four sisters and me every Saturday and take us to Monett, MO, shopping. She prided herself in the little starched feedsack dresses she would make for us. On one Saturday, a lady came up to her in the J.C. Penney store and started talking to her. “Ethel,” she said, “I don’t know how you do it. All of your little girls always look so pretty…every one of them.” We all stood there feeling so very wonderful as she continued to exclaim about how pretty we were. After a little more visiting, she got ready to move on. As she was leaving, she looked down at me and said, “Ethel is this one yours, too? She doesn’t look like the rest of them.” For years, I felt like the “ugly duckling” of the family.

Innocent remarks can greatly affect a child. We need to give more thought to our words and actions in front of children. It is a good feeling to watch the pastor of the church my husband and I previously attended as he always made a point to shake hands with the children as well as the adults. It was not unusual to see him walking along with an arm around a child and talking to that child with the same level of importance as that given to adults. This is the way it should be.

The elderly President Bush once remarked, “Let’s make this a kinder and gentler nation.” That kindness and gentleness, as well as respect for others, begins within each of us. If children are raised with these qualities of love, they are more apt to express them when they are grown, resulting in a kinder and gentler nation.

 

Checklist for Love

counseling, parenting, Raising kids, ,

Train up a child…

 

A Checklist for Love

 

Most of us really believe that we love others as we should. However, when we take a close look at the true definition of love, we may find ourselves falling short of where we should be in loving our children and our fellow man. Based on the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the Bible, we can ask ourselves the following questions to see where we really stand when it comes to loving as we should.

  • Am I willing to wait when my children don’t seem to “get it” right away, or do I get impatient and start yelling at them? (Love is patient.)
  • Do I speak to my children with respect for their feelings, or do I make unreasonable demands on them? (Love is kind.)
  • Do I feel badly when the children of someone else seem to do better than my children and start putting undue pressure on my children to perform better? (Love does not envy.)
  • Do I brag to others when my children do better than theirs? (Love does not boast.)
  • Do I use good manners with my children by saying “please”, “thank you”, “excuse me”, and “I’m sorry”? (Love is not rude.)
  • Do I get angry easily with my children, or do I understand that children are of equal value to adults in God’s sight? (Love does not get angry easily.)
  • Do we forgive our children when they make mistakes or do we keep an ongoing record in our minds of what they have done wrong? (Love keeps no record of wrongs.)
  • Do I always think I am right and demand that my children not have an opinion of their own, or do I listen to their thoughts before making up my own mind? (Love is not self-seeking.)
  • Do I feel good when someone else “gets what is coming to them”, or do I feel sad that wrong was done in the first place? (Love does not delight in wrongdoing.)
  • Am I happy when my children make the right decisions and take time to praise them for the good things they have done? (Love rejoices in the truth.)
  • Do I protect my children from things that would harm them physically, mentally, spiritually, or socially? (Love protects.)

These are lofty standards to strive to attain. I suspect that no one adheres to them all the time, but we profit by knowing what is expected of us when we are commanded to love God and others. As we train our children, we need to try to set a good example. Just as we fail from time to time, so will they. We need to work as a team in continually striving to love as we should.