Monthly Archives: November 2017

Children can Learn to Organize

Christmas gifts, counseling, parenting, Raising kids, , , ,

Train up a child…

 

Children can learn to Organize

 

The Christmas season is a good time to teach children a lesson about organizing. Even though they are more excited than usual at this time, they can still learn to take on some responsibilities to make Christmas a more pleasant time for themselves and others.

A good thing to keep in mind when parenting is to always have children take on the responsibilities for caring for themselves as they are able to do so. Adults often mistakenly think they are helping their children by doing everything for them. Children learn responsibility and become independent by caring for their own needs. School children have people to whom they want to give a gift at Christmas and can plan and organize their time and resources to take care of those gifts, to a great extent, themselves.

There is nothing better for organizing than lists. Children can make lists to examine their resources, remember the persons to whom they will give gifts, and dates for accomplishing tasks.

Most children have piggy banks and perhaps money from allowances. They can list the amount of money they have along with ways to earn more money. They may also have gifts they have received in the past that are unused that can be regifted to their friends. They can look through magazines such as “Family Fun” for ideas of gifts to make. Just thinking about resources brings an awareness to a child of the need to save their money for needed times.

Next, children should make lists of those persons to whom they want to give a gift. This list should include their teacher, Sunday School teacher, mom and dad, sisters and brothers. (Some schools request that gifts not be given to teachers, so this should be checked out before planning a gift.) After these “essential” gifts are taken care of, they can choose friends or other special people to whom they would like to give a gift.

If a gift is to be given to a teacher or church worker, dates should be written down as to programs, the last day of school before vacation, or the last event at church before Christmas. It is easy to let these times slip up and not be ready. If the family has a calendar on the refrigerator, as many families do, these dates could be posted there.

When the lists are done, the children can begin to purchase or make gifts and feel secure knowing they have all under control. Children will enjoy Christmas much more if they feel that they have been useful in planning and giving. This small lesson in organization will carry over into other areas of life and help the child to be more confident in years to come. Mom and dad will feel less pressure in knowing that the child is taking responsibility for some of the tasks to be done. When a child takes part in the planning and execution of the plans, that child builds self-esteem and learns the true meaning of giving at Christmas time.

Can Children be Thankful for School?

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Train up a child…

 

Can Children be Thankful for School?

 

One might wonder if children could possibly be thankful for school. After all, we hear a great deal of grumbling and griping about school from the children, and when they are in school, they often do only enough work to get by. It would seem that most of the children in this country really do not like school in spite of the fact that teachers go out of their way to try to make it pleasant while still teaching the fundamentals.

Some time ago, a couple of things were reported in the news that would indicate that it is, indeed, possible for children to thankful for school. When a 14 yr. old girl in Pakistan was shot in the head for insisting that girls had a right to obtain schooling, we saw an example of a person who undoubtedly would have been very thankful for the opportunity to learn. It was also reported that children in the Northeast were truly glad to be back in school after experiencing the hurricane, Sandy. Pictures were shown of a crowded situation where the children from a school that had been demolished had been taken in by another school. They were thankful to be back in school.

Is it true that we appreciate most the things that are hardest to get? When we earn something, it means more to us. When school is forced on children, they resent it. When they can’t have it, they want it. Millions of dollars are spent on our education system in America, yet the children don’t seem to learn what they should learn. When children really want to learn, they will learn whether they are in a crowded school with poor facilities or a fancy modern school with the latest technological equipment. An appreciative, thankful attitude would do more to improve our country’s educational system than any amount of money, new programs, or better educated teachers. These things are all helpful, but the child’s attitude is the most important of all.

What can be done to help children be thankful for the opportunity to be educated? It is obvious that all of the things that have been done to entertain children have not worked. Nothing succeeds like success. When children do well, they have a true sense of accomplishment that motivates them to try again. In addition, parents need to pattern appreciation for education. When parents run down the schools and the teachers in their conversation, how can we expect the children to think any differently? When children realize the importance of education, they will come to appreciate it more. This can be accomplished by showing children examples of people with and without an education as well as pointing out stories such as the girl in Pakistan and the children in the Northeast.

I received an e-mail recently of the story of a teacher who removed all the chairs from the classroom and made the children sit on the floor. She told them that someone had to earn that chair for them. At the end of the day, veterans came in and she introduced them as the ones who had earned the chair for them to get an education. Creative ideas such as this will help children be more thankful for their education.

It is not easy to help children learn to appreciate free schooling or anything else when it comes easily. We must try to help them show appreciation, however, or we will have another generation of adults where many feel entitled to all that brings self comfort at the expense of the work of others. Yes, children can be thankful for school, but it takes effort on the part of adults to help them come to that attitude of appreciation.

 

Closing the Generation Gap

High School seniors, parenting, Raising kids, , ,

Train up a child…

 

Closing the Generation Gap

 

How often do we use the generation gap as an excuse to write off our inability to communicate with teens? Does the generation gap really exist? Do we really make the effort we should to close that gap in order to meet the needs of our teens?

There truly is a difference from one generation to another when it comes to the culture of our society. However, there is no change from generation to generation when it comes to emotional needs of individuals. There is no doubt that the world of today’s teen seems foreign to those of us who grew up without cell phones, texting, play stations, facebook, twitter, and the like; nevertheless, the emotional needs of people many generations ago were the same as the emotional needs of our teens today. Everyone wants to feel loved no matter the generation. Everyone wants to feel self-worth. Everyone wants to feel acceptance. Everyone wants friends and family for support. I believe everyone has an inner desire to worship and serve something.

The wise grandparent, parent, teacher, or any other person who works with a teen would do well to concentrate on the emotional needs of teens because it is there that we will always be able to identify. To concentrate on the differences instead of the likenesses is a waste of time that could be well spent in bonding with a young person. Who, of any age, does not appreciate an understanding person who can quickly recognize hurts and offer consolation? Who does not appreciate an encouraging word from another person whether old or young?

We don’t have to understand all of the technology being used by the younger generation. If we should decide to learn about some of the things so commonly used, we can ask a teen to teach us. By doing so, we have actually contributed to that teen’s self-worth. It feels good to be able to teach an older person something! On a visit to CA some time back, my granddaughter taught me to text while we were riding to her house from the airport. I even sent a text to her boyfriend and he sent one back! It was fun. She was definitely enjoying teaching Nana about her gadget. As we admit that we don’t know everything and submit to the younger generation to teach us, we are creating an environment where the younger people will listen to us more readily when we want to teach them something from our experience.

Each generation has its special set of “tools” with which to confront life. Upon close examination, we find that those tools are simply for the purpose of fulfilling the emotional needs that never change. Cultures and temptations may change, but the inner heartfelt needs of individuals do not.

To recognize and accept this fact is a big step in the right direction to closing that generation gap.

 

 

That First Driver’s License

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Train up a child…

 

That First Driver’s License!

 

The memory of our oldest son getting his first driver’s license is still vivid in my mind. He came out of the license bureau waving his license with a big smile on his face. “Scoot over, Mom!” He said. I reluctantly moved over from the driver’s spot. He had aged one year. I felt as though I had aged ten years! I tensely sat and watched as he started the car and backed up. We finally got on the main street and headed home. I am probably the only mother in the world who yelled “hurry up” to a son who was just learning to drive, but when he came to intersections with cars whizzing both ways, I had visions of being broad-sided on both sides if he didn’t hurry and meld with the flow of the traffic. I suppose that his inching along was to impress me with his cautiousness, but it wasn’t working.

Many parents have experienced similar situations. When a teen gets that first driver’s license, the world changes! Household rules need to be adjusted. Teens need to thoroughly understand the responsibility they have upon receipt of the license and parents may need to learn to get by with less sleep!

A “sit-down” session with a teen needs to occur before going for the license. It would be good if there were a place to take a teen prior to receipt of the license to see a film such as is shown to folks who are required to go to classes after traffic violations. They need to know about the teenage driving statistics that are available on the Internet. They need to be reminded that the brain development of teenagers is such that they tend to take more risks and be less cautious. A teen needs to understand that the car keys will immediately be confiscated when certain things happen such as the abuse of the privilege, not adhering to curfew, etc. Most of all, the teen needs to understand that driving is not a right, but it is a privilege for those who are responsible enough to handle such an expensive machine. Each family needs to set rules before the license is obtained.

I seriously question the wisdom of a 16 yr. old having a driver’s license. I believe the law should be changed and licenses be given to 16 yr. olds in hardship cases only. In addition, I believe that teens under 18 should have to maintain good grades in school. Teens (or anyone else) who has attention deficit disorder should not be given a license to operate a vehicle. Driving a car requires constant attention. Why should a person who can’t pay attention be given a license to drive? There is no real need for most 16 yr. olds to drive. They can carpool or qualify for a hardship license. Many times a student will drop out of school upon receipt of the driver’s license. By raising the age to qualify for a license and requiring acceptable grades in school, we undoubtedly would have less dropouts, students studying harder to learn, and best of all, less deaths of sixteen-year-olds.

Since the law currently allows a driver’s license with few qualifications, parents must be all the more vigilant to see that their children drive responsibly. This involves making sure that the teens completely understand the responsibilities involved and that the privilege of driving can be revoked at any time. Further, they need to understand the seriousness of making a mistake that could haunt them for life.