Monthly Archives: July 2018

The Cost of Educating our Children

counseling, parenting, Raising kids, ,

Train up a child…

 

The Cost of Educating our Children

 

An e-mail has been circulating telling the story of a teacher who opened her classes the first day in a classroom with no desks.  When the children arrived, they were all surprised.  They immediately began asking where the desks were.  She answered them by telling them that they could not have a desk unless they earned one.  Of course, they began wondering what they had to do to earn a desk.  They asked if it was a promise to do homework, to listen carefully, or just what it was they had to do to earn a desk.  At the end of the day, they were told that there was nothing at the moment they could do to earn a desk as twenty-seven veterans walked into the room each carrying a desk.  She explained that the people who had fought for our country had earned the desks for them.

Each school year thousands of dollars are spent in various schools throughout our country to educate our children.  This money, of course, comes from the taxpayers.  Most children never stop to think about the price that has been, and is being paid, for their education.  If they did have that knowledge, perhaps it would make a difference in their appreciation of the opportunity to be educated.  No doubt, many students would put more effort into studying and learning.

Would it affect children to start school by walking into a classroom and seeing price tags on all the furniture and books?  Each desk, table, chair and book could be labeled with the approximate cost of each. (Books are unbelievably expensive!) It could be announced on the speaker system, occasionally, the approximate cost of food wasted in the dining room. In addition, personal information could be blacked out of a real tax return and passed around to show students that a real, live, person had paid a certain amount for school tax. It might help to tell the children that the people paying the tax money would like to see benefit from money spent by seeing the children working hard to learn.

Undoubtedly there are those who think this learning experience would be cruel to children. Others would beg to differ. Children need to learn truth. When they are continually sheltered from truth and knowledge, what are they really learning? Isn’t it the duty of the educator to provide knowledge to students?  Shielding children from the realities of life is not preparing them for those same realities that they will someday have to face.

It is difficult, if not impossible, to truly appreciate the value of a thing when we do not know its cost. Had it not been for those brave folks who fought in World War II, we might all be speaking German instead of English.  If it were not for those who are willing to work and pay taxes, we would not have the opportunities for education that we now have.  Children need to know and understand, to the best of their ability, the high cost of their education.

 

Children Need Guidance in Making Friends

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Train up a child…

 

Children need Guidance in Choosing Friends

 

Although it is scary to think of not having friends, it is far worse to have the wrong kind of friends. There is no doubt that childhood friends have lifelong influence.  It is for this reason that friends need to be chosen carefully.  How can we help our children choose friends who will have positive, rather than negative, influence? Understanding reasons for fear of not having friends, knowing how to make friends, and understanding the qualities of good friends are three things to consider in discussing this topic with children.

Many children feel that they have to act in such a way as to have others choose them as friends.  It would be helpful if children could understand that they can choose friends rather than waiting for others to choose them. A lack of self-confidence may be the cause of this attitude.

Children who truly understand that they are loved by parents, grandparents, teachers, and our Lord, do not have to feel so lonely as to seek the approval of peers at any cost, but rather take the time to choose the right kind of friends.

Children often mistakenly believe that clothes or money creates friends.  The simple formula for making friends is found in the Bible. Proverbs 18:24 tells us that “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (KJV) In other words, if we want to have friends, we must be friendly to others.  Children must learn to express the same qualities to others that they would like others to show to them.  This is a practical application of the Golden Rule of “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

A good friend will want the best for others and will not take advantage of anyone.  When individuals try to persuade others to do wrong, they are not striving for the best, but are hurting those they may be mistakenly calling friends.

Some children are born with a leadership personality.  Some children are born with a “whatever” personality.  The “whatever” children are often the followers and tend to do whatever they are told.  They may be the most obedient children at home, but at the same time too eager to do whatever a peer may suggest.  Parents may tend to trust these children the most when they actually may need closer supervision in choosing friends.  Children who are “born leaders” tend to get others to follow.

 

If parents can work with their children in selecting good friends, it will go a long way in helping shape the personalities of their sons and daughters and perhaps save many headaches in the future.

 

Note:  I recently signed off on the cover design for my new book, “My Thinking Book”.  It is a daily devotional book for children based on Scripture.  It answers many questions that children have and provides space for children to write their thoughts.  Please e-mail me at patlee@centurytel.net if you would like me to reserve a copy for you.  Also, I now have Paypal on my website at www.patlambchristianauthor.com. My other books are available there.

Promises! Promises!

parenting, Raising kids, Teaching Children to be Truthful, , , , , ,

Train up a child…

 

Promises! Promises!

 

It is so very easy to make a promise to a child.  Sometimes when we do so, we are secretly hoping the child will forget what we said and not hold us to it.  Other times, we really have good intentions to follow through, but other things seem to distract us, and we never follow through hoping the child will forget.  The reality is that children don’t forget the promises we make and when we make those promises and don’t follow through, we lose our credibility in their minds.

King Solomon tells us in the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 5 and verses 4 and 5, that we should fulfill what we vow and that it is better not to make a vow than to vow and not fulfill it. From this scripture, we know that we should be very careful to make even a small promise and not follow through with it.

It is far too easy to put a child off by saying, “Just a minute”.  One mother told me that her son came to her once and said, “Mom, how long is a minute?”  She had forgotten to get back to him.  It is better to say something like, “I’m doing _______ now, and when I get finished, I will try to help you.”  The phrase, “I will try” is much better than a promise because it leaves the door open for the reality that the action may not be possible.  In this way, we are being honest with the child.

When an adult makes a promise to a child and does not follow through, that adult is saying by actions that the thing that prevented the keeping of the promise was more important than the child.  The child then concludes in his/her mind that the adult does not care as much for the child as for whatever interfered with the keeping of the promise. Parents may think, “Doesn’t the child realize I have to work and make a living for the family?” The truth is that the child does not realize that unless it has been explained.  That is why parents and other teachers and leaders should take the time to explain the “whys” of actions to children.

Even well-meaning church leaders often make mistakes by saying things like, “I’ll pray for you,” and then not follow through and do so.  Unfortunately, those in leadership positions sometimes think that because of their position, everyone should understand if they don’t follow through with a promise.  This should not be so.  A parent, church leader, or teacher does not have the right to break promises simply because of status.  In God’s eyes, they are no more important than that little child who is looking up to them to be an example.

Heaven help the adult who breaks promises to others for self pleasure!  That person will be held accountable no matter how important a position they may be holding.  We need to be very, very careful about making promises.  Once that promise is made, every effort should be made to keep it and not disappoint those to whom it is made.  We must never forget that children are a gift from God.  They are like fragile little flowers.  Their spirits are easily bruised and, unfortunately, sometimes broken.

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

parenting, Raising kids, teamwork, , ,

Train up a child…

 

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

 

It’s hard to believe that the summer vacation from school is more than half over for our children. There were so many plans!  Have they all been met?It is a good idea at this point in time to review the plans that were made at the beginning of summer and see what has been accomplished and what needs to be emphasized in the time remaining before the children go back to school.

Remember all those plans for the kids for summer vacation?  I’m guessing that there were plans to teach them how to be good homemakers. There were plans to give them experiences that would be good for them, and there were plans to have fun together as a family. There is some time left to try to make up for those things that have not yet been accomplished.

During the time left, children can try their hands in the kitchen following recipes and preparing food for the family.  The product doesn’t have to be perfect.  Praise the children for good effort.  Select easy recipes so they can feel a sense of accomplishment. There are many recipes suitable for children.  The Family Funmagazine is one source of not only recipes, but other fun activities as well.

It is almost always a good idea to choose chores simple enough to allow the children to feel successful.  Feeling successful motivates children to try again. When a child feels failure, that child avoids doing that task another time for fear of failing again. Do not jump in and do the chore for the children no matter how tempting it may be. Children learn from mistakes. Chores should include cleaning and making minor repairs.  How are they doing with helping in the yard?  Now is the time to make sure all has been covered that the children are able to accomplish. Once the children are back in school, there will be limited time to teach things necessary for children to grow up and have good homes of their own.

Have the children had good experiences this summer that include visiting historic monuments or national parks?  Have they taken part in new activities that expand their understanding of others? There is still time to go on trips as a family.  There are many interesting places in our area.  We live in a beautiful place in this country.  Helping children appreciate that beauty will go a long way in creating a good attitude.

Has the family simply had lots of fun together?  If not, make sure the summer does not end without doing so.  Whether it is playing games together, working together, or traveling together, fun times create special memories.  Good “belly laughs” are remembered for a long time.  Fun times create memories that act as glue for a family to stick together.

Don’t come to the end of the summer and have to say, “Where did the time go?”  Use the time now to work and play with children. They will be gone from home before you know it!

 

Experience is the Best Teacher

Children and science, parenting, Raising kids, , ,

Train up a child…

 

Experience is the Best Teacher

 

One of the most important things parents can do is to make sure that their children have a large quantity and variety of experiences.  Through experiences children learn to appreciate what others go through to provide their needs, gain a better understanding of the world around them, and increase their skill and knowledge.

Adults often exclaim that children do not appreciate what they have.  It is difficult to appreciate what is given to them if they put forth no effort to obtain it.  Such experiences as picking berries or helping in a garden by pulling weeds give children an appreciation that no amount of lecturing could ever accomplish.  They learn first-hand what it takes to provide those items.  It is gratifying to see families picking berries together at Persimmon Hill Berry Farm in Lampe, MO.  There are other places around the area where children can participate as well.  Even gardening in flower pots or buckets in the yard give some needed experience with plants and food provision.

Experiences of watching production of food or other items in factories or plants provide understanding of effort that goes into providing our wants and needs. A trip to factories, a trip to the Tyson chicken plant in Berryville, AR, or other places that produce items we use can be eye-openers to children.  They begin to understand that much work is involved in providing their needs. It is also a good lesson in science to see how machinery works.  When families go on vacation, there are often places where children can take a tour and see how things are produced.  Our grandchildren were able to tour the Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield, CA.  That was a great thrill for them.  It was especially nice when they were given some free candy at the end of the tour!

Children who are limited in experiences are usually limited in vocabulary as well.  Without realizing it, new words are being used in almost every new experience a child may have.  As children are allowed to participate, they enhance skills and abilities.

Some experiences are a lot of fun as well as educational.  The Butterfly Palace in Branson is a wonderful place to take children. It is so much fun to see those beautiful creatures flying around and the film shown there is excellent. Mission trips for teenagers that many churches sponsor in the summer are wonderful! They certainly foster the understanding of how other people live.  One church in the area is currently sponsoring a trip to Alaska.  Another church periodically sponsors trips to the Navajo reservation to help there in Vacation Bible School.

When we make sure children have a variety of experiences, we find that those experiences, themselves, do the teaching for us.  Only a few words or comments are required to guide the children.  No one has to tell a child how hard it is to provide blueberries to eat if that child has picked a quart or so of them!  I doubt that as much food would be wasted once children learn what goes into providing it for them.  Appreciation is naturally going to come!  When teenagers prepare meals for the family, they are not apt to complain when mom or dad doesn’t have a meal on the table on time for them. They have learned that is it not so easy and they have a greater appreciation of the effort of their folks. When teens see children living in hogans on an Indian reservation, how can they not appreciate what they have?

There are many opportunities for children to experience many things if we are alert to the possibilities. Those experiences teach far more than our words.