Monthly Archives: October 2018

Make a List and Check it Twice

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Train up a child…

 

Make a List and Check it Twice

 

It seems that almost any direction we look, we are reminded that it is time to start preparing for the holidays!  It is easy to get caught up in all of the excitement and forget that the children need to be prepared for the season also.  Instead of just letting them “come along for the ride”, this year, why not prepare them to be an active part of all of the activities?

Checklists are wonderful for saving time and making sure we don’t forget something.  Here is a checklist for making sure all other lists are made!

  • Sit down with the children right away and explain the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  • Make sure the children understand how our country was started and the story of the first Thanksgiving.
  • Talk with the children about what they have to be thankful for and help them make out a list of those things.
  • Read some of the Psalms from the Bible to the children that tell us to give thanks.
  • List with the children the ways the family has been blessed.
  • List with the children the ways the community and country have been blessed.
  • Tell the Christmas story to the children.
  • Read the Christmas story to the children from Luke 2 in the Bible.
  • Explain to the children that Santa is not real.Tell them that talking about Santa is a game that adults play to have fun with the children.
  • Ask the children whether they want to play the game of Santa, and if so, make sure they understand it is only a game.
  • Have the children make a list of people who are especially meaningful to them. Ask if they want to give those people a gift? If so, make a gift list.
  • Have the children list their resources for giving.This can include money they have saved or other things they may have to give.
  • Explain that the reason we give is to show love to others.
  • Explain that love includes self-sacrifice and concern for the happiness of others.
  • Explain that gifts can be things we do for others as well as what we may make or buy.
  • Explain that the Bible tells us that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
  • Tell some stories of personal past Christmas experiences to the children.
  • Read some good Christmas stories to the children.
  • Talk about decorations and decide each person’s task.

You probably noted that I did not mention having the child make a list for self wants.  The emphasis should be on giving to others, not getting for self.  Making a want list may be alright, but that is not what we should stress.  We can’t teach children to think of others when all we do is tell them to think of themselves.  We can’t have it two ways.  It is preferable for children to grow up thinking of what they can give, not just what they can get.

 

“As the Twig is Bent”

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Train up a child…

 

“As the Twig is Bent”

 

I remember an instructor in our child development class at Missouri University saying, “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree”.  She went to great lengths to explain that habits that are formed in childhood last a lifetime.  If left unchecked, the inclinations that a child has are reinforced through the years as the child grows. This is true for both good and bad inclinations.  It is the task of the parent to “prune” those inclinations as needed.  The parent needs to reinforce in positive ways the good, and do their best to eliminate the bad habits.

A common saying about children who are displaying problematic behavior is, “Don’t worry. He will grow out of it.”  This may be true as relating to physical changes, but in most behavioral changes, children do not “grow out of it”.  The problems, in most cases, gain strength as the child grows.

There are many examples of children growing worse when problems are left unchecked.  Take, for instance, the child who throws temper tantrums. When parents give in to the child and do not correct this problem, the child grows up believing that he/she can get whatever is wanted by displaying acts of temper.  Another example is the demanding child who does not learn good manners.  That child becomes the adult who “railroads” through anyone or everyone to achieve wants and desires.  Poor eating habits are very difficult to correct in adulthood. Many obese people are those who as children were allowed to eat whatever they wanted. Children who are allowed to act any way they want will not grow up respecting authority. Children who are given everything needed without having to earn anything will not grow up and suddenly say, “Oh, I can do everything for myself”.  These children will always be expecting handouts.

Young people seem to have a feeling of indestructibility.  They tend to think, “I’m different.  That will never happen to me.”  I recently talked to a man who is now an alcoholic.  He said, “I made the same mistake so many other people have made.  I thought it would never happen to me.”  It is our duty, as parents and grandparents, to point out examples to prove that it can happen to anyone.  Ultimately, each person is individually responsible for choices made, but we need to do all we can to influence those choices and help that person grow in the right direction.

My dad used pieces of string to illustrate to my sisters and me how habits get stronger and stronger. He handed us a piece of string and told us to break it.  It was easy.  Then he gave us two pieces of string and told us to break them.  It was harder.  Then he gave us three pieces of string and told us to break them all at the same time. Some of us were able to do it.  By the time he got to four pieces of string, it was not possible to break them all at the same time.  “That is how it is with habits,” he said.  He told us that when you first do something wrong, it is much easier to stop than after you have continued to do it for a time.  We understood that it is best not to form bad habits.

Raising children is somewhat like gardening.  We prune, feed, and water.  We guide and do our best to influence the choices our children make.  When they are little, we can prevent bad choices.  When they grow up, they will choose according to their own individual beliefs.  Other influences in the world compete with the influence of parents.  We simply try our very best and bathe our efforts with lots of prayer.

The Value of Homework

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Train up a child…

 

The Value of Homework

 

Homework is a good thing.  No matter how much children moan and groan about it, there is no doubt that it is good for them.  Of course it is important to have the right amount of assignments.  It is not good to overload students, but if the right amount of homework is given, there are many benefits derived for the student.

Homework is necessary to give practice of skills taught in school. Teachers do not have enough time to give adequate practice. More and more topics are added for teachers to teach, yet nothing is ever subtracted and no additional time is allowed. Homework is good to help the students develop proper habits of study and self-discipline.  As parents either assist or observe their children doing homework, they come to a better understanding of the learning ability and achievement levels the children possess.

There was a time in education that educators thought that if a child simply understood subject matter, practice was not necessary.  I remember having a math textbook when I taught second grade that required the children to complete as few as six problems each day after the concept was taught. I knew that the children needed more, so I kept extra math papers available all the time for the children to choose and work as their time permitted.  Math, reading, and writing are skills.  All skills require practice because they involve more than understanding. They involve the use of nerves and muscles.  Just because a person can read and understand music, for instance, doesn’t mean that the person can play the piano or any other instrument.  It is the same with the skills of reading, math, and writing. Practice is necessary to become proficient.

As I have taught GED classes through the years, I have found that many students test higher in applied math than the actual computation.  I tell them that I suspect they sat in class, listened to the teacher explain how to do problems, and then said, “I don’t have to do my homework.  I understand that.”  They usually look at me rather sheepishly and say, “You got that right. How did you know?”  Such students indicate that they have the ability to understand but did not practice problems enough to be able to do them satisfactorily.

Some children do well in early grades and don’t do homework, then find out later that some subjects, such as algebra, require constant homework. Unfortunately, since they didn’t do homework early on, they haven’t really learned good study habits and self-discipline to buckle down and do what they need to do.  It is important to have a set time even in the lower grades to make homework a habit. If homework is not assigned, the parents need to come up with things the children can do to add to what they are learning in school.  For instance, if the children are learning about conservation, they might require them to look at or read something from the Missouri Conservation magazine.  They can check the library for more information or take a walk with dad to see examples of good and bad conservation.

Some may think that their children don’t need to do any homework since they finish quickly at school.  We should never let our children think that they are smarter than others and that they don’t need to learn more than they already know.  There is always plenty more to be learned about every subject. Parents are teachers, too, and parents need to help children develop a curiosity for learning by making suggestions or finding projects for the children to do to enrich what they have already learned.

We learn a great deal about our children as they do homework. Perhaps we learn even more than any report card can show. We can assess how the child reasons, the interests of the child, and become closer to the child.  Homework can be a wonderful together time and learning time for both parents and children.

 

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Teaching Children to Work in a Team

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Train up a child…

 

Teaching Children to Work in a Team

 

Most of the inventions we enjoy today are a result of teamwork.  There was a time when Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Edison could take credit for inventions, but the day of a person working alone to invent is practically over.  Now engineers brainstorm, compare ideas, evaluate plans, and come up with solutions as they work together.

Effective training of children to fit in today’s business world includes the teaching of teamwork. Not only does the business world require teamwork, but teachers work as teams in education.  Quite often, a person is hired in a line of work based on whether that person can fit into the team currently working.

For children to become good team workers, they must first understand the importance of doing so. Opportunities need to be given both at home and in school for children to develop skills in teamwork.  Sports activities play a huge role in teaching teamwork.

Children need to be told that teamwork is necessary in today’s world.  By incorporating the children in the reasons for almost any task, more can be accomplished. The cell phone is a good example to illustrate that inventions are done in a group.  No one person takes credit for inventing the cell phone.  It is because of the teamwork of NASA that we have many of today’s wonderful technological inventions.  The satellites in the sky are necessary for our GPS systems. Those satellites are a result of teamwork.  Ask the children if they can imagine one person being able to put a satellite in the sky!

Team activities can be provided in the classroom and at home.  The family can work together on projects.  A teacher can give an assignment for children to figure out together. It doesn’t take long to discover that some children do not want to work with others.  Some children are born as “loners” and some children are simply more social and love to be around others.  It takes skillful guidance on the part of parents and teachers to help the “loner” open up and the social person to perhaps stand down.  However, it is this very activity that teaches children to work in a group.  Some children will not want to share credit for achievements while others will want to sit and let someone else do all the work.  Teachers and parents need to stay on top of the activities to make sure all are contributing to the efforts being made.

Sports activities require teamwork for winning.  The most successful teams are those whose members have learned to work together. This is one of the best justifications for sports in schools.  The peer pressure of other members of a team often works in a positive way when a game is won or lost.

Learning to be a good team worker goes far in making sure a child becomes successful in life.  No matter how good an idea an individual may have, it takes more than one person to make that idea marketable.  If we can help our children learn to work in a team, our little creative geniuses are more likely to get along well as adults.

Stress the Positive

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Train up a child…

 

Stress the Positive

 

When raising children, we sometimes find ourselves in situations that are undesirable. There are some things that simply cannot be prevented or avoided.  Society often throws customs and traditions our way that affect children.  Children, themselves, do not always perform as we would like and we are tempted to harshly scold them for poor performance. When these challenges occur, some parents stress the negative instead of the positive.  Some parents spend their time and energy trying to shelter their children from the inevitable.  The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to be truthful with the children about the negative, but put the major emphasis on the positive aspects of the occasion.

Halloween has a dark origin. It is based on the rituals of the druids who lived long ago.  There may be a few people in our country who actually associate the two things, but it is doubtful that the thought ever crosses the mind of most of our children. To most children, it is a time to dress up in a costume, have fun, and get candy.  There is nothing wrong with dressing up in a costume that does not reflect the negative aspects of the holiday.  In fact, it is good for a child to imagine they are someone or something else. It expands their thinking and understanding of others. Getting candy once a year is not harmful unless permissive parents allow their children to have too much candy at other times.

Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny certainly detract from the importance of Christmas and Easter.  They become an even greater distraction if we overemphasize them.  If we tell the children that talking about them is a game we play; then, we can move on and emphasize the real truth of the holidays. If we talk about them too much, or if we forbid the children to have anything to do with the custom, their minds become fixated on them and they want to play the game all the more.

When children “mess up” and make mistakes, it is best to acknowledge the mistakes and look for the positive to emphasize.  As a teacher, I have heard endless stories about how a child was embarrassed by being scolded for mistakes.  Those embarrassing moments are like chains that keep a child from wanting to break loose and try again to succeed.  They fear the hurt of failure.  On the other hand, when a child is praised for doing something, that is the very thing the child wants to do again in hope of more praise. As the child repeats the action, that child gains more expertise in the task.

Let’s face it!  There are some things we will never be able to change.  We waste our time and energy in trying to do so.  We can, however, emphasize the positive of situations to help a child grow in the truth.  There will probably be a Santa, Easter bunny, and witches at Halloween for a long time to come.  Our children don’t have to be caught up in the things of society.  They can look at such things knowing there is something better. When they make mistakes, they need not fear a harsh scolding, but rather they can progress in the positive aspect of the situation.  By accentuating the positive, we eliminate the negative.