Monthly Archives: July 2019

Where’s the Learning Value?

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianwriter.com) Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…

Where’s the Learning Value?

         When I view some of the children’s programs and books that are available now,  I keep wondering, “Where’s the learning value?”  It seems that much of what is being done with children now tends to be more entertaining than containing real value for children.  That is not to say that children should not be entertained and have fun while learning.  Of course, most children like fun, but the real objective should be the teaching of values and information with the fun part as a by-product or side issue. There are times in life when we have to do things that are not fun and children need to learn that principle.

         Our present-day society provides so much entertainment for children that often we feel that we must compete in order to keep the attention of a child. This leads to shallowness when dealing with serious topics. It is difficult to hold attention of children very long, so we find ourselves dancing, shouting, or doing whatever it takes to keep their attention.  Some of this is fine, but there are times when a child needs to simply learn to sit still and listen.  We sometimes tend to glide over some things simply to get through the lesson.  

When I taught kindergarten, often parents brought children to me and said, “You have my permission to spank him!”  Can you see that happening now?  Teachers walk a thin line trying to get children to learn without upsetting them.  Children are aware of the fact that teachers are not allowed to spank and many take advantage of this fact.  In many cases, if students thought they could be spanked, the spanking would not be necessary.  As teachers walk this thin line, they know they cannot demand children perform past a certain point or the child and the parents will get upset.  This forces the teacher to let the child get by with things that prevent the depth of learning they need.  

         In church situations, teachers and leaders have to deal with the fact that a child may not return to church if made to behave appropriately.  Many parents do not require their children to attend church and leave it up to the child to decide.  This fact forces church workers to have to be very careful not to upset a child in providing discipline for proper behavior. At the same time, we have to remember that the whole purpose of getting a child to church is to teach that child ways of behavior pleasing to Jesus. When we fail to do that, we are actually teaching a child by default that it is alright to misbehave.

         There are many good (and bad) computer activities for children.  Parents need to be aware of what the children are doing with their devices. 

Children now have colorful books that talk or even smell when you scratch them.  Some books have fold-outs with hidden things beneath.  Much of this is great.  It would be even better if values for living were incorporated in the text, but often they are flat when it comes to a story plot. Since teachers and leaders of children are so restricted, we really need to choose the materials carefully that contain real value for children. Those working with children need to choose movies, games, and activities that do not only fill up time, but actually teach what children need to know. They also need to require behavior acceptable to Christ, but it must be required in a loving way.

Let’s remember that children have real problems and they need real solutions to those problems. They will be grown and gone soon. We have such a short time to prepare them for their future.

Parents, Kids, and Public Places

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book (Books available on my website, Amazon, Barnes & Noble)

Train up a child…

Parents, Kids, and Public Places

         Have you noticed the many signs in public places reminding parents to watch their children?  I saw one place that actually had a sign listing rules for children while in the restaurant.  In addition to the signs, proprietors comment about the problems they have when parents bring children to their places of business.  In a consignment shop, the proprietor told of a child who was running around in the store and knocked over a valuable antique mirror and broke it.  The parent became upset with the business owner for not having the place “child friendly”!

         Parents need to understand that they are totally responsible for the behavior of their children. Store owners, doctors, dentists, schools, and churches are not responsible for a child’s behavior even though they may be helpful in providing guidance or activities for a child. Ultimately, it is the parent who is responsible for the child and what that child does.

         Laying ground rules before leaving the house, providing activities for the child, and careful selection of the places a child is taken can alleviate the problems connected with taking children to public places.

         It is understandable that parents get tired, and perhaps even close to exhaustion, when children constantly place demands on them.  This often leads to parents taking a backseat to the child and becoming reactive instead of proactive.  We simply cannot allow ourselves to do that. In the long run it causes more effort and frustration.  Parents need to think ahead and not wait until a child does something wrong and then try to deal with it.  Preventive action is much better.  

Children feel more secure when they know what is expected of them.  They need to be told that they are not to touch anything in a store without permission. They should not run around or leave a chair unless told that it is alright to do so.  Begging and whining for things should not be allowed. Children should not interrupt conversations of others unless it is an emergency and even then they should say “excuse me”. In restaurants, parents need to oversee what is ordered to eat.  If a child is old enough and able, that child should pick up whatever is dropped and clean up any messes made.  If the child is unable to do so, the parent should do it.  When the child understands ahead of time that he/she must clean up the messes they make, that child will be more careful with the eating process.

         There are many nice children’s toys or activity books that children can take to a public place where waiting is involved.  Parents would be wise to have an activity bag packed and kept in the car for such occasions. There are electronic toys that will keep children occupied for great lengths of time.  Many of these have good educational value.  Older children could have a good book handy to take along.  I know a family who always makes a trip to a bookstore before going on an extended trip.  Each person chooses a book to read on the plane or in the car. Cell phones or Ipads are permissible on a limited basis, but reading books should not be totally abolished. Some books can be downloaded on devices.     

         There are some places where children should simply not be taken.  If mom is having a day out to have her hair fixed, arrangements should be made for the children to be elsewhere. Also, children do not belong in antique shops with valuable antiques that can be broken easily. Good judgment needs to be used in the selection of places to take children.  They need to understand that in order to go to certain places, they must act properly.

         A little preparation ahead of time can make life more pleasant for all concerned when children are in public places.

Children Need Rules

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book (Available on my website, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble)

Train up a child….

Children Need Rules to Live By

         Children who have no rules to live by are insecure and restless.  They are not successful in life and always seem to be seeking satisfaction and never finding it.  They are not happy children and do not make happy adults.  There is no certainty in their actions and they wonder if they are being accepted in society or not– and most often they are not! Parents, teachers, grandparents, and others are doing children no favors by letting them get by without obeying rules.  

         Rules must be appropriate and fair.  There are rules that are non-negotiable, rules that are negotiable, and rules that are self-imposed.  

         Non-negotiable rules need to be instilled in children early, so they can be taught at a very young age that certain ways of behaving are not open for debate.  Parents must determine these rules.  In our house one of those rules was that children were never to hit a parent as many babies are inclined to do when they don’t get their way. A parent can hold a child’s hand and firmly say, “Do not do that!” Of course, a baby will continue to try to have its way, but repeated and consistent rebukes will eventually stop the baby from trying. 

In addition to not hitting or sassing parents, our children grew up knowing that the family attended church regularly, and that was just something we did.  Other non-negotiable rules should include: not stealing, always telling the truth, taking care of things, using proper manners at the table, and being polite to other people. Each set of parents will have its own set of rules. Parents can simply tell children, “There are certain things we do and certain things we do not do at our house.”  It is necessary to follow up with consistency and not allow misbehavior to go unnoticed, even once, according to the rules that are set.

         After the “absolutely must” rules are in place, other rules need to be made for the day-by-day activities. It is much easier for children to obey this type of rule when they have had a part in crafting it. Ideally, adults and children express problems and discuss ways to correct the problems.  The rules are written down and placed in a prominent place for reference. If the rules deal with chores, a chart can be made for children to check off the chores as they are completed.  

         Many parents feel that they don’t have time to discuss rules with the children.  Actually, a family meeting saves a great deal of time. It becomes unnecessary for the parents to keep reminding the children if the rules are written down and the chart has been checked.  Whenever the parent glances at the chart, he/she can simply say, “Johnny, I see that you haven’t done your chore.  When do you plan to do it?”  

         Patterns set in the home for rules are carried over in the personality of the child, and that child becomes a person who imposes rules on self.  Children, who are accustomed to rules, understand that rules are important and they make their own rules for getting homework done or managing their relationships.  Our granddaughter once told me, “You know, Nana, I always do the hard stuff first to get it out of the way and then I don’t mind doing the easy stuff.”  This was a self-imposed rule that worked for her. As children do each task, they do what is called “self talk”.  This “self talk” often includes self-made rules that they follow.  

         Knowing to follow the rules eliminates uncertainty. They don’t have to wonder if they have done the right thing.  They know that they have done the right thing, and the fact that they have acted correctly helps in building self-esteem. There is an inner peace and assurance of rightness. Not only does the child feel good about him/herself, that child will probably receive many compliments from others, and that adds to self-esteem. When parents are fair and rules are fair, children learn to live by the rules in society.  I have never seen a child who seemed really happy who didn’t know how to follow rules.

Instilling Patriotism in Children

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Check out my latest book, “My Thinking Book”, a devotional book for children.

Train up a child…

Instilling Patriotism in Children

         There may be no better time than Independence Day for parents to instill in children the attitude and feeling of patriotism. As children experience the beautiful fireworks displays and understand that the same thing is happening throughout our nation, they can’t help but think about what it means to be living in America.  Adults need to take advantage of this “teachable moment” to encourage the feeling of pride for country and help the children understand, as much as possible, the cost paid for our freedom by our forefathers.

         One way to give a better understanding of our forefathers is to check the Internet for information regarding some of those individuals.  Children will be interested to learn about some of the inventions of Ben Franklin.  He invented bifocals, the lightning rod, a grasping tool, and even a musical instrument using glasses filled with different amounts of water.  He designed a ship with compartments so that if one compartment sprung a leak, the leak could not sink the ship.  

         Only two of Thomas Jefferson’s six children survived into adulthood.  He had specific instructions as to what he wanted on his tombstone.  He wrote a political pamphlet in which he stated, “The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time:  the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.” He designed his home, Monticello, in detail and had it built on property inherited from his family. 

         At the age of 16, George Washington helped survey Shenandoah lands.  He was very interested in western expansion of our country.  It will fascinate children to learn that he invented wooden false teeth.  It has been said that we always see pictures of him with his mouth closed because of his wooden false teeth.

         There are many, many interesting things to learn about our founding fathers and our country if we just take the time to explore with the children.  A visit to the library will uncover many interesting books for the children to read during the summer months.  

         It is easy to develop an appreciation of the past history of our country.  What is not so easy is to develop a feeling of appreciation for our country now.  It is difficult as a teacher to help the children learn to respect authority of our government when they hear so much criticism from parents, grandparents, and others.  When children hear parents say, “They are all a bunch of crooks!” they wonder why, then, are they supposed to obey laws made by those “crooks”.  It was a real struggle in my GED classes to get students to understand that our government is “we”, not “they”.  

         We need to be very careful to discuss policies of our government without “badmouthing” the people making those policies. It is very difficult in times of frustration to separate what our politicians do from who they are.  We are commanded in the Bible to pray for our leaders and we should do just that.  Instead of venting our anger to those around us, we need to be finding ways to make the changes that we believe are needed in a respectful way.  

         Our country has had many problems since its beginning.  We need to help our children join us in praying for our country and deciding how we can be the best citizens possible.