Monthly Archives: April 2020

When Does Mom Stop Being Mom?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”: “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com.)

Train up a child…

When Does Mom Stop Being Mom?

       From the time a child is born, mom is the one always there to feed, clothe, snuggle, and protect the little baby.  Dad is there also, but it is mom who is the closest at the early stage of life in a child.  When the child cries, mom can usually even tell what kind of cry it is.  Is it a hungry cry, a hurt cry, or an angry cry?  Mom knows.  The baby understands that mom is the one who will provide the basic needs.  The baby’s world revolves around its mom and the baby thinks mom is the greatest thing in the world.

         When the child starts to kindergarten, that child begins to discover that there are other people in the world who can make it happy.  Many children have a special bond with their kindergarten teacher.  At this point in life, mom begins to take back seat.  Mom has to stand back a little as the child begins to discover the world.  What mom hasn’t shed a tear or two as the child heads out the door for its first day of school?

         As the child begins to approach puberty, mom suddenly becomes perhaps the dumbest person in the world.  It is almost impossible to do anything right that pleases the son or daughter.  This is a time when many moms suffer a great deal of pain as their child begins to reject them.  Mom knows, however, that the child is “sprouting its own wings” and she patiently waits and watches, interjecting guidance wherever possible to help that child she still loves dearly, in spite of the fact that at times it seems that the child has no love for her.

         When the young adult goes to college, that son or daughter begins to sense the meaning of homesickness.  A reevaluation of mom and dad takes place and by the time the child is out of college, several hundred dollars later, the young adult is surprised at how much mom has learned in those four years!  The young adult still feels, however, that mom is behind the times and is not fully able to understand current situations.

         Through the adult years, the son or daughter gradually begins to understand that maybe mom wasn’t so far off base after all.  Little by little, the adult starts seeking advice from the person once thought to be ignorant of all modern behavior. “I wonder what mom would do?” the adult thinks in tough situations. “I’ll talk it over with her.”

         Finally, the time comes for mom’s life on this earth to end.  Mom is no longer there to go to for advice.  The son or daughter is now completely on its own unless dad is still around.  When tough situations come along, the individual thinks, “I wonder what mom would have done.  What would mom tell me to do?  I wish I could talk it over with her.”

         And in the coming years, the memory of mom’s words and actions still exist to help guide the child in decision-making.

         When does mom stop being a mom?  Never! The effects of her mothering are exhibited in grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Her teachings are felt in generations to come.  Mothering is a wonderful opportunity that knows no end.

A Mother’s Love is Special

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by Pat Lamb (Author of “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Mother’s Love is Special

         There are many heartwarming stories demonstrating the love of a mother for her children.  Much respect is deserved by those mothers of physically or mentally challenged children for the hours of patience and loving care they give.  Mothers seem to have a special something that fathers and others don’t have.  There is no disputing that fathers play a valuable role in the upbringing of their children, but mothers have a distinct nature for nurturing her children.  Both have an irreplaceable role as God intended when he planned for man and woman to unite to bring children into the world.  At this time of the year, our thoughts turn to mom. I recall three personal observations illustrating a mother’s love.

         When my husband and I were working with the Navajo in New Mexico and Arizona, we observed the love of the mothers for their children as they reluctantly brought them to the government boarding schools to live away from home to get an education.  The vast expanse of the reservation made it impossible to have schools nearby.  To give the children an education meant that most of them had to live in a dormitory. High school students had to go off the reservation to schools as far away as Oklahoma or Utah.  Mothers would come to the campus of our school with beautiful Navajo rugs they had woven.  They wanted to sell the rugs to get some money for their children who were going away. There were many times when we watched children cling to parents and parents to children, not wanting to let go and part from each other. Knowing the necessity of an education prompted the parents to do what only the love for a child would motivate them to do…walk off and leave the child in the hands of someone else to educate. 

         On one occasion in Ramah, NM, a little girl did not want to come to school.  Her mother knew how important it was for the child’s future. I was teaching second grade at the time and the little girl was in my class.  Her mother came carrying the girl, kicking and crying, and put her in my arms. The mother spoke very little English and I spoke even less Navajo, but the language of love is universal.  I nodded to her in understanding, took the little girl in my arms and carried her into the classroom where she immediately stopped crying. I later learned from the mother’s brother that the little girl, Karen, had jumped out of the pickup on the way to school, and started to run across the field and hide, so she wouldn’t have to come to school.  Her mother had jumped out of the moving pickup right behind her, climbed over a fence and taken off after her to catch her.  Her brother was laughing about how her squaw skirt and turquoise jewelry were flying as she climbed that fence. (She wore a full 3-tiered skirt like a square dance skirt but floor length and velvet blouse…the traditional dress of the Navajo women.)  Her brother laughed when he told us that she didn’t care what the tourists thought as they drove by on the busy highway, she was going to catch Karen and get her in school!

         Another example of a mother’s love was seen in Denver when I rode with a policeman one night as a project for a class I was taking in the psychology of prejudice. Shortly after we stopped at a convenience store for coffee, we received a call that a girl had been raped at that same store.  Since another car was in the vicinity, we didn’t pursue the case.  At the end of the tour, we went to the police headquarters.  I was curious as to what happened about the rape case, so the man I had ridden with asked the dispatcher to find out.  She communicated with the police car that had been assigned to the case.  The reply came back, “Male Caucasian, 6’4” tall, approximately 250 lbs., when last seen was being pursued by victim’s mother!”

         Yes, mothers have a special love for the welfare of their children.

Some Children are Self Smart

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Some Children are Self Smart

         “Still water runs deep” is an expression that is often used to describe a child who may be quiet and perhaps shy and doesn’t mind being alone.  This may very well be the child who has a dominant intrapersonal intelligence.

         Seven intelligences have been defined.  People are born with dominance in three or four of these intelligences.  The intelligences are known as verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, bodily/kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Other names for these intelligences are word smart, numbers smart, body smart, picture smart, music smart, people smart, and self smart.

         Intrapersonal or self-smart is the capacity to understand oneself. This person can understand his/her own personal thoughts and feelings and use that knowledge to plan and direct his/her life.  Intrapersonal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of self, but also of the human condition and is evident in psychologists, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.

         The children who possess this intelligence to a strong degree may be thought of as “loners”. They don’t seem to mind being alone for extended periods of time. Sometimes parents worry unduly about these children for fear they may become anti-social when they are simply thinking about life and its meaning. They are usually in tune with their inner feelings, values, beliefs, and thinking processes.  These children may be “wise beyond their years”, can usually motivate themselves, and have intuition.  Since they spend much time in simply thinking, they may have well thought-out opinions on many issues.  Others often go to them for advice.  However, some may think of them as distant resulting in a small number of friends.

         Teachers would do well to give children who have this intelligence opportunities to describe their feelings or the feelings of others when essays are assigned. Any essay topic that asks for an opinion is a subject to be enjoyed by these children.  There will be an interest in the personalities of great mathematicians when studying math.  A parent or teacher might ask for a description of the feelings of others as history is studied because they like to imagine how people felt in various circumstances. 

         Job skills the intrapersonal person is likely to possess include working alone, setting goals and obtaining objectives, appraising, planning, initiating, and organizing.  This person is likely to be a self-motivator.  Jobs that these individuals seem to fit are clergyman or religious worker, psychologist, therapist, counselor, or entrepreneur.  At some point in time, they may want to write an autobiography.  They may not always be good in jobs where quick action is required because they like time to reflect and think before making a decision.  

         I am amazed when I think about the varying personalities that God created.  He knew what would be needed to sustain a society and he gave each of us unique ways of thinking and acting to meet those needs.  It would be so nice if each of us learned to appreciate the differences in people rather than expecting everyone else to think and feel as we do.  Ideally, we would all work together and compliment the skills and abilities of one another.    

Building a Spiritual Foundation in Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Building a Spiritual Foundation in Children

         Childhood is a foundation for life.  That foundation needs to be established in four areas. These areas are social, mental, physical, and spiritual.  How these four areas are developed in childhood influences the successful adjustment to adulthood.

         The spiritual development of children is often neglected.  Much emphasis is placed on a good education (mental), making friends (social), and health and wellness of children (physical), but when it comes to the spiritual side of a child, parents often feel inadequate to work in this area or for some other reason, simply don’t. Yet, it is this part of a human being that permeates all other parts and gives motivation and a set of values for functioning.

         Every person is born with an instinct to worship something.  As a small child begins to notice the many things created, questions begin to arise.  “Where did I come from?” is a natural curiosity.  “Who made the trees, flowers, and other things around me?” is also a natural question.  If a child is not given guidance in what to believe, he/she may end up in a cult or simply drift through life with little or no purpose searching for meaning to life.  That person will always be trying to fill a void that may never be satisfied in spite of many attempts.  “If we don’t stand for something, we will fall for anything,” is a saying I once heard.  This seems to play out in many lives of individuals who have not had a spiritual foundation as children.

         Some parents will say, “I will let my children decide for themselves about what they believe.”  How can they decide if they have no knowledge?  We don’t let children decide about whether to go to school.  We don’t let them eat only candy all the time.  We try to make sure they choose the right friends.  They need help in deciding what to believe.

         In my opinion, there are certain basic things that should be done to help develop a spiritual foundation in children.  First of all, they should go to church and learn about the Bible.  There are basic things about the Bible every child should learn.  Children need to learn about the crucifixion and the meaning of the cross.  In connection with this, children need to learn John 3:16.  The Ten Commandments and The Lord’s Prayer should be memorized by every child.  Children need to learn that God is love but that he is also a just God and that we don’t get by with wrong.  Even though God will forgive us of wrongdoing if we are sorry and ask Him to do so, there are still natural consequences of sin.  They need to understand that there is a heaven and a hell and that God sees them everywhere they are.  There is no hiding from God.  (This understanding is especially helpful when children get to the point of wanting to do something without parents knowing about it.) The more Scripture children can memorize, the better it is.   These Scripture verses will come back to them as they make decisions.  Purpose in life is obtained when children learn that God has a plan for each person. 

When my oldest sister was in her last days, at one point I stood beside her bed in St. John’s Hospital in Springfield.  She and I were holding hands, and she looked at me and said, “My biggest regret is that I didn’t get Gary and Steve (her sons) in Sunday school and church when they were little”.  We need to constantly work on the spiritual development of children just as we work on the development in other areas. When they hear about Christ arising from the grave, they take hold of a deeper meaning to life than simply pleasing mom and dad, the teacher, and friends.  No other religious leader has come back from death.  Knowing this fact will help a person decide to live for Christ.