Monthly Archives: May 2020

Dad Reflects God to Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, www.patlambchristianauthor.com )

Train up a child…

Dad Reflects God to Children

         Everyone who believes in God has an image in mind of what He is like.  The mental image we have of our Heavenly Father is greatly determined by the image we have of our earthly father.  Children naturally associate the word “father”.  They reason that what one father is like, the other father is probably also like. 

         If children have a father who has left the family and is not meeting his responsibilities, they are likely to decide that God, the Heavenly Father, cannot be trusted.  If they have had trust placed in their dad betrayed, why should they believe that any other father can be trusted?

         Children may have an earthly father who has not left the family physically, but who does not meet his responsibilities in the home.  This situation can have the same or similar effect of the father who has left the home.  They again see an individual who cannot be relied upon.

         If dads have unreasonable expectations of children and are too strict with them, children may develop an image of God as a stern taskmaster who will not love them if they make a mistake.  If they never seem to please their earthly dad, they may reason that they will never measure up to God’s expectations and simply give up without trying. They may fear punishment from God to the extent that they want to avoid Him.

         When dad fails to express verbally his love for his children, they may not believe that God really loves them.  

         If dad is always “goofing off” and everything is fun and games to him, children may not develop a sense of seriousness about what the Heavenly Father expects from them.  Dismissing all actions of children and not holding them accountable for those actions may result in children feeling that God will let them get by with anything

         If dad doesn’t think it is important to study the Bible and go to church, the children will probably think that God is not important enough to spend time on and give attention to in worship.

         If, however, dad is a godly man who truly loves his children in a scriptural way, children will probably grow up realizing the importance of God in their lives and want to serve and worship Him.

What an awesome responsibility to be a dad!  Truly, children not only walk in dad’s footsteps, but they form their lifelong beliefs by dad’s behavior.  If we adults truly examine our image of God, we will probably find that at least part of it is similar to our earthly father.  Fortunately, Bible study can correct much of the negative views of God as we read about God’s true characteristics.  The sad truth is that when children have been raised with wrong attitudes, they may never seek the truth and may never learn the difference in order to form a correct image of God.  

There is no doubt that dad sets the tone of the home.  He is designed to be the head of the home and whether or not he consciously accepts that designation, there are results of his behavior that cannot be avoided.  It is not a matter of do as I say and not as I do in raising children. Good examples produce good outcomes. Bad examples produce unwanted outcomes.  Our children are with us for such a short time in the whole scheme of our lives.  While they are young, we need to be willing to give up personal pleasures and do all we can to obtain the tools we need to raise our children with a realistic image of God.     

Create Memories on Memorial Day

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a Child…

Create Memories on Memorial Day

         When we create positive memories for children, it is like investing in their future.  When they are grown, many of those memories become the basis for decision making in raising their own children. They remember how much it meant to them when their parents did certain things, so they, in turn, do those same things for their children.

         Children love it when parents take time to play with them.  There are many benefits associated with adults actually getting on the level of the children and playing with them.  It is an opportunity for bonding between parents and children.  It is also an opportunity to observe children in an informal setting to see how they act and react to circumstances thrust upon them through games.  It is also a time to just have fun.  The Bible tells us that laughter is a good medicine.  It is good for all of us to simply let go once in a while and enjoy our children and have fun ourselves.  Memorial Day is a good time to do this.  After the necessary actions of remembrances are done, such as visiting the cemetery and talking about the past, why not have a picnic with active games?

         There are many games that are great for an outdoor setting.  Work-up softball is a good game to play even if there are not the nine players available for a team. This can be adapted to any number of people.  If at least nine are present, three people are batters and the others take various positions in a made-up baseball diamond.  Use anything available for bases such as sticks, trees, or whatever can be found. (This develops resourcefulness and teaches children that they don’t always have to spend a lot of money to have fun.)  Things don’t have to be perfect.  In fact, it is more fun when they are not.  Sometimes there may be two right fielders, or no right fielder.  When a person goes to bat and is put out, he or she takes a place in the field and everyone moves up one spot and a new batter is added to the batting pool.  

         Red Rover is a game that some have restricted due to the rowdiness that sometimes develops.  With adults present, it can be kept under control and enjoyed immensely.  Two lines are formed and everyone holds hands.  One line shouts, “Red Rover, Red Rover, Send _________(fill in a name of a person on the opposite line) right over.”  The person named then runs and tries to break through the line of the people who did the calling.  If he or she breaks the line, a person is chosen to go to the line that sent a person over.  If the person is unable to break the line, that person has to remain with the line that called for someone to come over.  The object is to see which line can end up with everyone.

         Many other games such as wood tag or other forms of tag games can be played.  In wood tag, one person is “it” and tries to catch the others.  If they are touching wood, they are safe.  If not, and a person is tagged, that person must be “it”.  

A flour war is another possibility.  In a flour war, two teams are chosen and flour “bombs” are made by tying up flour with string in tissue.  “Bombs” are thrown at players on the other team.  If a player is hit, that player has to go as a prisoner to the team that hit him/her.

         Inevitably in games such as the ones just mentioned, things will happen that everyone will remember.  There will be lots of laughter and wonderful memories will be created.  

An Easy Way to Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com )

Train up a child…

An Easy Way to Learn

         I well remember my dad telling my sisters and me, “If you won’t listen, you’ll have to learn the hard way!”

         Listening to the descriptions of the experiences of those who have lived in the past is an easy way to learn.  As Memorial Day approaches, we have an opportunity to describe the experiences of those who have gone before us to help our children learn.

         What can children learn by listening to descriptions of the past?  They can learn of some things people did that worked well, some things people did that did not work well, and they can gain some inspiration to make their own lives count.

         Memorial Day is certainly a time to remember veterans who have fought for our freedom, but it is also a time to remember our relatives of the past who made significant accomplishments.  It would be well for parents to find specific stories to read or tell to children both about veterans and their own relatives.  Stories about veterans help children appreciate the freedom they enjoy.  Stories of past relatives provide roots and a feeling of self worth.  Good stories of past relatives instill a sense of pride and motivate a child to want to “measure up” to family history.

         It is a good idea to take children to a cemetery on Memorial Day and reverently walk through and observe some of the tombstones. There will undoubtedly be a few graves of people who died at a very young age.  A discussion of how some of the people may have died could include a discussion of the use of drugs and alcohol.  This lesson is far more effective than any lecture in a classroom.  The children can see for themselves that the use of drugs and alcohol is definitely something that did not work well for these individuals.  It would be well for parents to point out specific cases with which they are familiar of instances where results were not good.  For example, some of the young people may have died from car accidents where they were driving too fast.  

         One goal in raising children should be to help children decide in their own minds what is best. Telling is not teaching.  In fact, if we lecture children, they often rebel.  We want them to settle in their own minds what is right.  If they can make these decisions when they are young, when the challenging teen years come, they have already decided and do not have to doubt.  The visual image of a tombstone in the mind of a young person might well stay until the teen years and be present when that first driver’s license is issued or when temptations to use drugs or alcohol comes. 

         Children don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” if they will listen to stories of the past and base their decisions on those things that have already been tried and failed, or those things which have been tried and succeeded.  It is easier to learn by listening and seeing than to have to try everything for oneself.  

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambhristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

Whether we are rich, poor, handsome, short, tall, educated, or uneducated, we all have one thing in equal amounts.  That one thing is time.  We each have 24 hours each day.  How we use those hours determines whether we are a success or failure in life.  The way mothers use their time may determine whether their children become a success or a failure.  Mothers should try to stay busy, make their busy-ness count positively, and protect their time from being stolen by others who would pressure them to do things that are not productive for their husband and children.

         The 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible describes the “perfect” woman.  In the 27th verse of that chapter we read that a good woman “does not eat the bread of idleness”.  One result of modern day conveniences is that we have more time on our hands.  It is tempting to allow ourselves to be idle since we are not required to do as much physical work as our mothers had to do.  I have heard so many women say that they eat too much because they are bored. As a result, they then worry about being overweight.  This is especially true of mothers whose children have left home.  The Bible does not say that we stop being mothers when the children reach a certain age.  We are mothers as long as our children are living. Even if our children are far away, we can still e-mail them or write words of encouragement, make gifts for them and their children, find appropriate books and information to help them, or do many other things to promote their well-being.  We need to keep busy being a good mother no matter what the age of the children. Idleness truly does breed contempt.  An idle person is usually not a happy person.  Physical exercise produces an enzyme that fights depression.  We need to stay as active as we can, doing productive activities. Also, there are plenty of other children around that we can “mother” if our children or grandchildren are not near us.

         It is important to choose activities that are beneficial to children. When mothers read to children, it is wise to choose books that not only entertain, but also teach good values.  I like to “kill two birds with one stone” whenever possible.  Some books and games have little value for children while others have great value.  Why waste time on something worthless when so much can be accomplished with worthwhile activities.  One of the very best ways to use time well is to allow children to assist with work.  This provides time for bonding as well as teaching children how to care for personal belongings. Children and parents can be side-by-side in work and play.

         There are many things that would steal our time.  Even good things can keep us from doing better things.  There may be good TV shows, but we need to ask ourselves whether they are actually worth the time they take by producing positive benefits for our family.  Many organizations plead for help from mothers and many of those organizations have worthwhile causes.  If we try to be helpful in too many of them or in too many ways to any one of them, we may be allowing them to steal time that would be better spent with our children. 

         Time passes far too quickly to waste it.  When our children are small, it may seem like forever until they grow up and are on their own.  Those of us who are older know that the time when they are home and we have greater influence on them is so very short in relation to the time when they are away.  My husband and I have been married fifty years and most of that time has been spent together after the children have left home. That is true of many other couples as well. Mom, let’s make that short time count!