Monthly Archives: April 2021

Moms Have Tough Times to Tolerate

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Moms Have Tough Times to Tolerate

         I’m sure every mom has some really tough times.  Some of those times we can later look back on and have a good laugh, but at the time they occurred, we may have been frustrated and ready to “throw up our hands” in dismay.  Here are three such times that occurred in our family.

         When our grandson was a toddler, his mom was very proud that she had taught her firstborn at such an early age to help by picking up things and throwing them in the trash.  He would pick up bits of trash on the floor and proudly toddle to the trash bin and put them in and turn and look at his mom for her praise and approval. One day she got ready to go to work but could not find her watch.  This was a very special watch that her dad and I had given to her for her graduation.  After searching through the trash and not finding it, she could only conclude that it had already gone to the dumpster and been picked up by the garbage truck!  At that moment, she was not so proud of her son for putting things in the trash for her.

         Our second son was gifted with the use of words, but was never able to master math.  When he was in first grade, I would sit at the kitchen table at night and work with him to teach him to subtract whole numbers through ten.  To make the learning more interesting, I would use popcorn, spaghetti, raisins, or miniature marshmallows.  We would put down a certain number, take away a certain number, and count what was left so he could write the answer on his homework paper.  On one occasion, we were using marshmallows when the phone rang and I had to leave to answer it.  “Go ahead and finish this row,” I told him.  When I came back, there was not a single problem completed and he had eaten the marshmallows! It has been seven years since we lost this son. Before he passed away, we laughed together about the incident and he said, “Yeah.  Those little colored marshmallows were tasty!”

         Our oldest son had a curious nature.  He liked to touch things when we went shopping or wherever we happened to be.  I tried and tried to teach him to keep his hands off things, but he seemed not able to resist checking out whatever was available to examine. On one occasion our family was invited to dinner at a friend’s home.  They thoughtfully seated our four children in the kitchen while we ate at the dining table.  There was a shelf in the cabinet beside where they were seated that had a number of items on it.  As we were enjoying a pleasant conversation and all seemed to be going well, we suddenly heard a loud “pop”.  I couldn’t imagine what could have happened, but we soon knew when we all started rubbing our eyes and the tears started rolling down our cheeks.  We quickly made our way to the front yard as our host explained that our son had set off a tear bomb!  The tear bomb looked like a pen.  Kenneth had picked it up to look at it thinking it might have different colors of ink in it.  As the neighbors came running out of their houses to see why we were all in the yard crying, the host angrily said, “He shouldn’t have been bothering that!” He had a few other comments as well and repeated some of them several times! He was not happy with us!

         Mother’s Day is such a special day to honor moms for all they have tolerated as well as the pleasures they have had in raising their children.  Quite possibly each and every mom has stories they remember or are presently experiencing with their children.  Each day is a day to invest in future memories to enjoy.  Most of the older moms will readily tell the younger ones, cherish each moment with your children.  They grow up so very fast and are gone before you know it!

How Does A Mom Gain Respect?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

How Does a Mom Gain Respect?

         Have you noticed how some children really seem to respect their moms while others don’t?  What makes the difference?  Although children should be taught to respect their parents no matter what the circumstances, there are some things a mom can do to make it easier for a child to fulfill this requirement.  Moms who are always firm, live good clean lives as examples to their children, and are willing to sacrifice their own comforts and desires usually have the respect of their children.

         Sadly, some parents are afraid to be firm for fear that their children will get mad at them and not like them.  Mothers who do this will surprisingly find a lack of respect.  I observed an example of this when I taught kindergarten. A mother brought her son to class every morning and they were almost always late.  She would beg her son to come on into the room.  On one occasion I heard her tell the little boy that if he would go on into the room that she would give him a candy bar that she had in her hand.  Finally, after much pleading, the little boy took the candy bar and came on into the room.  When Mother’s Day was approaching, I had a group time with the children and talked to them about how they should love their mothers and what they could do for their mothers to show it.  The same little boy defiantly said, “I hate my mother!”  I was shocked, but it reinforced my understanding that you don’t gain respect without firmness to require a child to do what should be done.

         When moms are firm about certain things, they must “practice what they preach” and set a good example.  Children do not respect anyone who tells them not to do something and then they, themselves, go ahead and do those things. Children immediately catch on to our weaknesses.  They see weaknesses as disgusting, especially when they have been told to be strong and resist the same temptations.  “Do as I say and not as I do” simply does not work with children.  They learn more by example than by what they are told.  Moms should set the example of respecting their own parents, respecting God and his commands, as well as respecting the country and its laws.  

         If moms expect children to do more than they are willing to do, they are fooling themselves.  Moms can gain respect of their sons and daughters when they are willing to sacrifice for the good of the family.  I still have a visual image in my mind of my mom’s cracked and bleeding hands from milking cows with my dad every night and morning.  How I respect her for that! When she sold her eggs each week and bought shoes for my sisters and me instead of pretty things for herself, she gained the respect of each of us.  Self-sacrifice speaks love loud and clear and it certainly gains respect.

         Mother’s Day is somewhat of a test of the mother.  Will her children respect her enough to make an effort to show that respect to her?  Of course, it is also a test of dad.  Has dad taught the children to show respect to their mom? Has dad shown proper respect to mom as an example? Actions speak louder than words.  It is not the expensive gift that really counts, but rather the actions of the children in showing proper respect to their mothers.  Have we done all we can to gain that respect?  

Raising Children is Like Raising Flowers

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Raising Children is Like Raising Flowers

         Even those who do not have a “green thumb” can relate to the idea that raising children is somewhat like raising plants in a number of ways.

The problem is, however, that when we fail with a plant, we can throw it away and get another.  What we do with children lasts for eternity. When spring arrives and our thoughts turn to gardening, it is easy to think of some of the things we must do in order to produce good plants.  Do we give as much consideration to what we must do to produce adults pleasing to our Lord? 

         Following are some of the similarities found in raising children and raising plants:

  • Both need almost constant care when very small because they are unable to care for themselves.
  • Both need water and fertilizer to survive.  We can think of fertilizer in children as the knowledge we give them.  If too much is given all at once, it is harmful.  It must be given in doses that can be processed.  When children are given too much knowledge, they become overwhelmed and frustrated.  This is happening in our culture now as children are bombarded with much on TV and other places that they are not prepared to deal with.  Also, the fertilizer is like good nutrition for children by making sure they eat properly.  Just as plants need certain nutrients, so do children need certain nutrients.
  • Plants and children each need pruning.  We snip off parts of plants to make them grow in the right direction.  Children need to have certain actions and behavior cut out of their lives to steer them in the right direction.  When this is not done, both plants and children may grow crooked and not in good form.
  • We cannot force flowers to bloom and we cannot force children to grow up too fast.  Growth comes from the inside on God’s time table.  Just as one might take a budding flower and pull the petals open, when we try to force children to grow up faster than they are ready, they become bruised and hurt.
  • We cannot change a rose to make a daisy, nor can we make children become something that God did not intend.  Each child is born with certain tendencies.  We cause harm when we try to get children to become something different from what God gifted them to do.
  • Plants and children need the proper environment in which to thrive.  Just as some plants need bright sunlight and some need shade, children need to be in an environment of encouragement and love to thrive.  They need to be around those who will be good friends.  They need clean air and proper exercise in sunshine to grow healthy bodies.  They need church fellowship to grow spiritually, and they need good schools to grow mentally.

Knowing that children are a gift from God, we can take those gifts and nurture and watch them grow into the men and women God intended them to be.  We cannot do the growing for them.  God provides the growing, we are the ones who care and tend them.

How We Harm Our Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How We Harm our Children

       The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God.  When this gift first arrives, we are all excited at the precious little miracle and have high hopes of it becoming the perfect adult.  However, as the little bundle grows into a demanding individual, we are tempted to lose our original intentions of raising a perfect child and may begin pulling away and even resenting the intrusion on our own pleasure and self-fulfillment.

         As children grow, we tend to become confused.  It isn’t as much fun as we thought it would be to have a child.  There seems to be a constant demand on our time and energy.  We begin to do things that are harmful to children as we draw back from our responsibilities of raising the God-given gift as the giver intended.  Many times we do things that harm a child while having good intentions.  Following are some things that we do that I believe harm children:

  • Neglect to step in when a child needs instruction.  (Children are left wondering what to do.)
  • Think that all children should have fun all the time.  (Fun does not develop character. Hardships develop character.)
  • Let a child always do what it wants to do.  (Children need boundaries for security.)
  • Substitute things for time. (Time with parents is far more valuable than things that money can buy.)
  • Give a child all the freedom it wants. (Children learn self-discipline by obeying rules.)
  • Over-discipline a child.  (Children learn by suffering consequences of the decisions they make. Sometimes we need to let children make their own decisions and suffer the results.  Experience is the best teacher.)
  • Stepping in and rescuing a child from the consequences of a decision the child has made. (We become enablers by letting the child think that whatever he/she does, we will always bail him/her out.
  • Letting a child eat whatever and whenever it wants. (The body needs proper nutrition to function well.  Parents should see that a child eats healthy foods. (Soda is not a healthy food!)
  • Letting a child talk so as to dominate conversations.  (Children need to learn to listen to others and respect opinions of others.)
  • Insisting that a child be promoted in school when that child has not mastered the skills of the grade level he/she is in. (Children just get in deeper and deeper, become frustrated, and develop low self-esteem.)
  • Not seeing to it that children have chores to do to contribute to the family.  (Children need to learn that things in life should be earned and most are not free.)

These are a few things we can watch out for as we raise our most cherished gifts—our children.  There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but each of us can strive to improve in our parenting skills.  Children are a real pleasure if they learn to live as Christ would have them live, but children who are neglected and left to their own desires seldom are a pleasure to be around.   Proverbs 23:24 tells us that, “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him.”