Monthly Archives: August 2021

Helping Children with Reading Homework

Uncategorized, , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Reading Homework

         Many parents shy away from helping their children with homework.  Often, this is because they are afraid they will not do it the way the teacher wants, or perhaps they feel inadequate.  There are six basic subject areas for which children may receive homework. They are reading, math, language, social studies, writing, and science.  In this column, I would like to make comments about helping children with reading.

         It is helpful to understand how reading is taught in schools today.  In the past there were arguments about whether sight reading or phonetic reading was best.  Actually, both are used.  There are certain words that children should simply memorize and learn by sight.  A good basis of phonics is absolutely necessary for a child to be able to decode words on his/her own.

         One of the best ways to help a child with sight words is to use flash cards.  Teachers can give parents a list of words that children should know by sight.  Children can make their own flash cards or flash cards may be purchased.  The advantage for a child to make the cards is that the child learns about spelling and writing at the same time as the words are learned. The advantage of purchasing the cards is that the print is similar to what the child sees on the pages in books.  Either or both are helpful.

         If a parent feels inadequate to teach phonics, that parent can ask the child to teach the parent. The child learns the sounds at school and usually knows them but simply needs review and practice for reinforcement.  Sometimes a parent may need to put a finger over part of a word to help the child break the word down.  Much of reading depends on the vision of a child…both the physical vision and the way the child sees the word in his/her mind.  By covering part of a word, the child can see parts of the word in the mind rather than just seeing a bunch of letters of the alphabet.

         The best thing any parent can do to help with a child’s reading is simply have that child read, read, read.  Older children can read stories to younger children or to the parents.  The children need to be familiar with the local library and have enjoyable books on hand to read at all times.  Reading at home should generally be easy reading. If a child does not know five words to a page, that book is too difficult for the child.  Reading easy books develops a feeling of self-satisfaction.  The child becomes more fluent and develops speed.  Usually, it is best to leave the difficult books for the school to handle.  Encouraging a child to read enjoyable and easy books develops a good foundation for reading in years to come.  If reading is always difficult, the child will shy away from it.

         Parents should see that books are available for children all the time.  Books should be in the car, so that when a child has to wait for a parent somewhere, the child can be reading.  Children can help make and read grocery lists.  They can read directions on packages to mom or dad when meals are being prepared.  Parents can find many opportunities to help children with reading and need not hesitate to do so.

How to Talk so Kids can Learn

Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How to Talk so Kids Can Learn

         People do not like to be yelled at!  Children are people, too.  Children do not like to be yelled at!

         The way we talk to children greatly affects their learning.  Our tone and volume of voice is very important as we relate to the little ones.  We need to take the time, whenever possible, to explain and reason with children.  

         I have observed, over the years, that many parents constantly bark orders to children, often so rapidly that the children do not have time to mentally process one order before being given another. When this happens, children become resentful, confused, embarrassed, and often give up trying to obey. They may pout or act out in frustration.  They hurt inside because they feel that the one yelling at them does not love them.  It becomes even more confusing when, after barking orders to the children, a few minutes later that same parent may say, “I love you”.  This scenario gives an untrue example of love.  Love is patient. On the other hand, if we slow down, take time to let the child process instructions, and explain where needed, the child calms down, is more likely to obey, and senses love as shown through patience.  Sometimes a parent will get better results to simply go to the child, put an arm around that child, and whisper instructions slowly.

         Children can often understand more than we give them credit for if we take the time to give the explanations in words they understand.  We forget that they do not have the same vocabulary that we have.  They increase their vocabulary as we explain why we expect them to do certain things.  When they have the understanding, they are more apt to act appropriately on their own when parents are not around.  Many believe that if they just get their children in the habit of doing certain things that they will grow up and maintain those habits.  Habits only go so far.  Understanding of reasons for acting appropriately will extend the correct behavior.  There comes a time in a child’s life when that child begins to question what parents have told them.  If they have the basic understanding of the “whys”, they are more apt to stick with what they have been taught.

         The use of questions instead of statements is so very important in helping children reason out the “whys” of behavior.  Telling is not teaching!  When we ask questions, a child is forced to think. Following are some examples of common questions that can be asked in various situations:

  1. How would Johnny feel if you said that?
  2. If you did that, what would the children around you think?
  3. What could you say to make Suzie feel better?
  4. What will your teacher think if you do that?
  5. Are you sure that is the right thing to do?

These are just general questions to help a child think through his/her actions before deciding.  They also help to develop empathy and teach decision-making.

         Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish wrote a book titled, How to Talk so Kids Can Learn.  I highly recommend it. Although I do not agree with everything in the book, it certainly helps us rethink how we talk to children.

Why Some Kids “Act Out”

Uncategorized, , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Why Some Kids “Act Out”

         Little tries the patience of adults more than having a child misbehave by throwing a tantrum or acting in unacceptable ways.  Often, the tendency is to treat the symptom of behavior rather than looking deeper to decide why the child is acting as he/she is and treating the reason for the behavior. There are many reasons a child misbehaves.  One reason children do so is that they simply haven’t been taught acceptable behavior.  Other children have found through experience that their actions get them what they want.  Still other children become frustrated about their present circumstances and act out because they don’t know another way to deal with the situation.

         It seems that some parents think that children will raise themselves.  They neglect teaching their children proper behavior and simply leave them to their own way of thinking about things.  These children are almost like little wild animals that have never been tamed.  They make decisions according to base wants for the moment with little regard for consequences of behavior.  If they feel like running, they run.  If they feel like shouting, they shout.  If they feel like tearing up something, they tear it up.  Actions are determined by feelings at the moment.  In such cases, teachers or others working with these children must teach them how to act along with the “whys” of correct behavior. Often, these children have been left so long that they will never catch up with where they should be in learning proper behavior.  In many cases, the parents themselves don’t know how to act acceptably even if they should decide to teach their children.

         Some children act out because they have experienced in the past that doing so will get them what they want.  These are the children whose parents give in to temper tantrums just to get the child to be quiet.  It is human nature to use tactics that work for our survival. Children learn that this is one tactic that works, so it is repeated.  A common example of this child is the one who throws a tantrum in a store while shopping to get something desired.  The parent, rather than tolerate the embarrassment, will get the item for the child.  The next time the child wants something, that child will throw another temper tantrum.  Parents need to stop giving in to the tantrums to change this child and instead respond only to positive behavior.

         Sometimes children find themselves in situations that they can’t handle. This could be a child who normally acts very nice, but suddenly there may be an outburst.  Children have not yet learned the “niceties” of talk to say no to something beyond their ability. In addition, as a child, they are taught to obey and not say no.  Parents and teachers sometimes “pigeonhole” a child into a situation that is scary or beyond the child’s competence.  In such cases, the child knows nothing better than to become frustrated and “lash out” at those around.  Not all children are of the nature to sit still for long periods of time in school.  Some children are designed to be active children and not the nice and quiet children we may want.  God designs us uniquely and that design does not always fit into the expectations of a parent or teacher. In such cases, parents and teachers need to assure the child that he/she is not expected to do something that the child can’t do. A different assignment may need to be given at the level of ability.

         There is no substitute for time spent with a child to learn what the child is thinking and feeling.  This knowledge helps us understand the child’s behavior and with many prayers for wisdom, parents and teachers can then address that behavior in a loving way.  

Uncategorized, ,

Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

  Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

       Getting off to a bad start in anything is not a good thing, but it is especially important that children get a good start at the beginning of each school year.  The start of the year sets the pattern of behavior for the remainder of the school year and possibly for years to come.  Having a set pattern removes uncertainty and much confusion as children practice firm rules in the home.  As those rules become habits, parents are more at ease and there is less worry on the part of both the parents and the children.

         Before school starts in the fall, parents need to sit down with children and pray with them that they will do their best.  Undue pressure should not be put on any child to make straight “A’s”.  Rather, children should be encouraged to do the best they can do with the abilities God has given them.  II Timothy 2:15 is a good verse to use to impress children to do their best in school. If a child can understand that it is God who is to be pleased more than self, teachers, or parents, studying becomes more important. This gives purpose and the proper attitude toward learning. The prayer instills a sense of seriousness about the importance of behavior and effort.

         Children need routine.  They need the understanding that their behavior is acceptable, and they need to know that their parents are concerned with their well-being.

         Why not use the cell phone, that most older children have, to help them remember their routine? Our youngest son programs the cell phone of his sons to remind them of what they are to do and when they are to do it.  They can then text him when the chores are accomplished. 

A good routine for children each school night might include the following:

1) Homework is done at a certain time and place; then, it is laid out in a special spot so the child will not have to hunt for it the next morning.

2) Anything that is to be taken to school with the homework is placed along with the homework in a designated spot to prevent the scurrying around that often occurs in many homes as children frantically try to get ready to go to school.

3) Clothes to be worn the next day are laid out and ready to be put on.

4) Any chores in the home that the child is to do the next day are explained so that the child is not surprised with added  activities that may interrupt his/her plans.

     5) The alarm clock is set.

      When these things are taken care of, one of the parents checks in on the child at bedtime to be available to hear questions or comments from the child before hearing the prayers of the younger children.  Older children may want to say prayers in private.

When the listed items are done, the child can go to bed at ease knowing all is ready for the next day.  That child knows that the right thing has been done and will have a sense of accomplishment. Both the children and the parents will rest better knowing that all is organized. 

When children wake up in the morning and their clothes are ready for them, they don’t have the turmoil in their minds to start the day wondering what to wear.  They don’t have to worry about their homework because they know where it is.  After a good breakfast, one or both parents can give each child a big hug and kiss before he/she walks out the door along with a word of advice such as, “Learn all you can learn!” or “No matter what happens today, I will still love you tonight!”  With a final, “I love you!” the child is on the way to a good day at school.

Children Learn in Different Ways

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Learn in Different Ways

         Studies show that we tend to raise our children the way we were raised in spite of any training in child-rearing classes we may have received along the way.  Without realizing it, we tend to think that our children will learn the same way we learned without taking into account the differences in inherited traits and personalities.  We can be much more effective in parenting (and grandparenting) if we can understand the differences in the way children learn.

         Some children tend to learn better by hearing information while others learn better by seeing or doing.  Educators classify children as auditory, visual, or kinesthetic learners.  Actually, all children learn in each of these ways, but most are dominant in one or two of the ways.

         Auditory learners learn best by having a story read to them rather than reading it for themselves.  They like to have music going most of the time and would rather have someone tell them what to do than read instructions for themselves.  They are often musically inclined and can learn better when things are set to music. Auditory learners might learn multiplication tables more easily if they are set to music.  In my opinion, many children have not developed listening skills and do not fall into this category.  

         Visual learners learn better with charts and graphs or demonstrations.  They need to see how a word looks to decide if it is spelled right, and they will probably learn their spelling words by writing them over and over rather than just saying them over and over. They will be the individuals who take a lot of notes when they are in high school or college.  They need to be shown how to do things rather than just being told.  Charts for daily chores work well for these children.  They probably won’t just take a person’s word for something.  They will probably want to see for themselves whether something is right.  

         Kinesthetic learners like to use their bodies and do active things.  They are usually the children involved in sports.  They learn best by doing projects. They like doing play-doh projects when they are young.  When they are older, they are the ones who like the social studies and science projects that involve making things.  An example of using a kinesthetic method to teach in school might be to have students stand and turn a certain number of degrees right or left to learn about degrees in a circle.  At home, boys will love to do fix-it projects with dad.  Girls will like cooking or other projects involving action.

         Observance of children will give clues as to how they best learn.  When children constantly doodle and draw pictures, you can know they are the visual learners.  The very active children are usually the kinesthetic learners and it is important to keep them busy with projects.  Quiet children may be the auditory learners as they are listening for sounds in nature or listening to others.  No two children are the same.  Good parents and teachers will learn to observe the differences and capitalize on the way that children learn best.