Monthly Archives: April 2022

Children Need to Respect Mom

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Chlldren, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Need to Respect Mom

         For many mothers, Mother’s Day is the favorite holiday of the year.  It is so nice to be honored and hear the expressions of love and appreciation.  However, in many cases, mothers are not given the respect or honor they should receive not only on Mother’s Day but also during the remainder of the year.  

         In order for a mother to be respected, she must do some things to earn that respect, dad needs to encourage the children to respect their mother, and a family needs to attend a church where children are taught the importance of the family and the command to honor parents.

         Although we should each respect our mother whether the respect is earned or not, it is so much easier when the mother does and does not do certain things.  Mothers should have the well-being of the family in her mind and heart first after love for God.  A Godly woman is a woman who is filled with love as described in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the Bible.  She is patient with her children and understands each child is unique.  She needs to do her best to see that the children are getting proper food and have a clean, orderly house to live in.  She needs to be an encourager.  Her speech should be gentle.  Mothers who use profanity and “street talk” have a hard time getting real respect from children.  

         Dad plays a big role in teaching children proper respect. He needs to set a good example for the children by showing respect to their mother.  In addition to setting the example, he needs to require the children to always speak respectfully and to listen to the mother.  Under no circumstances should he override the mother’s decision in the presence of the children.  To do so indicates that he does not believe that she is capable of making right decisions for them. Children quickly pick up on this attitude and they, too, decide that she is not capable of giving them advice.  If dad disagrees with mom, the issue should be settled between the two of them out of the presence of the children.  When men talk down to their wives in front of the children, the children get the impression that their mother is inferior.  Mother’s Day presents an opportunity for dad to work with the children to remind them to do something to show their appreciation and love for their mother.  

         Families who do not attend church are robbing themselves of a great deal of help.  In church, the children are taught the Ten Commandments.  They usually are required to memorize them.  One of the commandments tells us to honor our fathers and mothers.  This is not an option.  God holds us responsible to obey this commandment as well as the others.  It really helps to have someone outside the family teaching the children to act properly and to respect their parents.  As I watch children in church recite Scripture, sing songs, and learn how to behave properly, I often feel sad to think how many children are missing out on these activities.  These activities, along with camp opportunities, enhance the learning they get at school and home. They get practice in memorizing and they learn Scripture verses about acting correctly which better prepares them for life.

         Although Mother’s Day comes only one time each year, we should teach children to love and respect their mothers at all times.  This positive behavior should become a pattern of behavior to last a lifetime.  

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains

         
         “The longest journey starts with the first step”.  How true.  This philosophy can be applied to helping children set goals.  It is important to set short-term goals as a beginning to the achievement of long-term goals.  Parents often have the tendency to set ultimatums that overwhelm children; then, children tend to give up before they get started feeling that the task is impossible to achieve.

         Nothing succeeds like success.  Success breeds success; failure breeds failure.  When a child feels successful, that child will want to continue actions that achieved that success.  When a child experiences failure, that child will not want to continue.  If we help a child set goals that are easily achievable, the child will want to set another achievable goal.  

         How does this work in real life?  Suppose you want a small child to clean his/her bedroom. Instead of telling the child to clean the room, break the chore down in steps.  Perhaps start with telling the child to make the bed.  After that is accomplished, tell the child to pick up the things on the floor.  Next, the child could do the dusting of one piece of furniture at a time. Finally, the floor needs to be vacuumed or swept. Add other tasks as needed until the room is nice and clean. When the child then receives praise for a clean room, he/she feels a sense of pride and accomplishment and will be more apt to do it next time.  In addition, the child has been taught what is involved in cleaning a room.  

         Another example might involve a child learning the multiplication tables.  Instead of simply telling the child to learn the tables, help the child set a goal of learning the 8’s by a certain time.  Next, the child might learn the 9’s, etc.  This continues until all the tables are learned.

         If a child is struggling with homework, instead of simply telling the child to do the homework, a parent might say, “After this page is done, take a little break and get a glass of water or cookie.” Plan with the child by looking at how much is left to be done and dividing it up so that the child feels accomplishment along the way.  After each part is done, the child might be allowed to do something to have a little break.

         Still another example might be used in saving money.  Discuss with the child how much money can be saved by a certain time.  Make sure a special container is available for the money even if it is simply a clean jelly jar.  After the first goal has been reached, reset the goal for a certain date to have saved a greater amount.  It is helpful if a child has an object in mind to purchase or another plan for the money.  That would be the long-range goal.  The short-range goals along the way are very helpful in motivating the child to continue saving.

         Almost any task can be broken down in parts to encourage and motivate children.  It is good to have long-range goals as well, but the short- range goals are the stepping stones along the way.

Patience: A Characteristic of Love

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon,Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Patience:  A Characteristic of Love

         If asked, “Do you love your children?” most parents without hesitation would reply, “Yes, I love my children!”  Most parents probably do think that they love their children.  However, when we examine the true definition of love, we might find ourselves falling short in the matter of patience. 

         If we examine definitions of love, we find that the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the Bible lists the qualities present when there is love.  One of those qualities listed is patience.

         Do we have patience with our children?  In the hurry and scurry of everyday living, we can easily expect too much too soon from those around us.  It is not easy to wait for children to develop skills and make decisions at their own pace.  We sometimes forget that we cannot force a flower to bloom.  With plants, we water, nourish, and prune but the growth comes from within the plant.  So it is with children.  We nourish, and prune (discipline) and provide experiences and advice, but we cannot force the child to grow.  That growth comes from within the child.

         Unfortunately, some parents have a fixed image in mind of what they want the child to be when s/he grows up.  We have all heard of the football player who wants a son to be a football star, etc.  In such a situation, the parent may be very impatient and take out his own disappointment on the child.  We need to realize that certain traits are inherent in children at birth.  Again, using gardening as an example, we cannot change a carrot to a radish; we can only try to develop a better carrot or radish.  With children, we need to cultivate those good tendencies or skills that came with them at birth.  We waste time and cause much frustration when we try to force children to be something other than what they are capable of.  We need to be patient as we help them develop into what their Creator designed them for.  

         It is important in the matter of discipline to be able to discern the difference between a mistake and intentional belligerence.  We would be naïve to think that children are born with only good intentions.  Intentional belligerence requires immediate discipline.  Mistakes of a child, on the other hand, require our patience and teaching. Probably every child needs admonition at one time or another.  When our children are intentionally naughty, even though we must discipline them, we need to be patient in understanding that they are no different from other kids in that respect.  We should never make a child feel that there is no hope for improvement.  I’ve known some parents who seem to really just grind their children down until the child feels there is no hope.  Our patience with them gives hope.  Without hope, children may either give up or become rebellious.  

         We can’t expect children to be as accomplished as we are.  We have several years of learning ahead of them.  When they seem awkward and break things, it may be because they are growing longer arms and legs and haven’t learned to adjust to the extra size yet.  When they don’t make the right decisions, it may be because they haven’t acquired all the facts and understanding they need to make those decisions.

         Patience is more than a virtue.  Patience is an indication of real love.

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