Monthly Archives: May 2022

A Good Dad Protects His Family

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Good Dad Protects His Family

         One of the major roles assigned to fathers is family protection.  In days gone by, a dad would keep a gun by the door to protect his family against wild animals or anything that might be a harmful threat to his wife and children.  Although dads no longer need to protect their families from wild animals, there are many other threats to be dealt with.  In fact, it may have been easier to protect his family from the threats of yesteryear than the threats of today. Dads need to protect their families from physical, mental, social, and spiritual harm.  

         Today’s threats to physically harm a family come in the form of alcohol, drugs, poor health habits, or safety from storms.  Dads need to keep their eyes wide open for any evidence of threats in these areas.  When it comes to substance abuse, the best defense is to prevent the use of harmful items in the first place.  It is much more difficult once their use has started to change a child’s habits.  If a man’s home is his castle, then the man should make sure that his castle does not contain anything harmful to his family.  Social drinking in homes has led to much alcohol abuse.   Naturally, the children think that if dad and mom drink, it is alright for them to drink alcoholic beverages. In addition to protection from harmful drugs or alcohol, dads need to make sure that there is a tornado shelter or safe place to go in storms for his family.

         Mental protection of children involves making sure that children are developing the right attitude toward moral behavior.  It also involves making sure their children are getting a good education at school.  Dads need to be involved in school activities.  Some TV programs need to be restricted.  A child can’t fill his/her mind with garbage and have good thoughts.  Certain music should be prohibited as well as certain posters or art work in a child’s room.  Dads need to be aware of the child’s interests.  This may mean going into a child’s room and checking what is there.  Teens often hide behind the “privacy” right.  There should be some right to privacy but not if it involves wrongdoing by the child.  Suspicion of such requires investigation.  

         Dads need to know about their children’s friends.  It is best to help children make the right kind of friends rather than wait until the wrong kind is selected and try to remedy it.  Either way, children should be protected from the influence of friends who would lead them to do wrong.  Children should not be allowed to go places like some rock concerts and some movies. Dads need to teach children to show respect to all people, including their mother and teachers. Children need to learn good manners such as saying “excuse me”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, and “please”.  

         It is dad’s job to be the spiritual leader of the family.  He should make sure the family is in church every Sunday.  His job in the other four areas will be much easier if he fulfills this duty first.  Good friends can be found at church.  Church provides a safe place for making friends and learning proper behavior.  Ideally, every father should lead a family devotional time each week at home to reinforce the spiritual truths learned at church. As children learn the power of prayer, they find the greatest protection of all.  Dads would be wise to tap into this source of protection.

         Dads have a daunting task when it comes to protecting the family.  As Father’s Day approaches, let’s try to think of ways we can support the dads we know as they try to accomplish this task!

Who said that Parenting is Easy?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Who said that Parenting is Easy?

         Someone recently told me that they had overheard some young girls say that they couldn’t wait until they were old enough to have a baby and drop out of school.  How little they know about what parenting involves! There are those who think that having a baby is like having a doll.  They don’t realize that the “live doll” will have many needs that must be fulfilled and that the “live doll” will not always be a pleasure.

        Being a parent takes physical, spiritual, social, and mental strength. From the time a baby is born until parents can no longer function, parents muster up the strength to help their children.

         A baby requires much physical energy from parents.  Who has not seen a mom or dad with circles under the eyes from being up at night with a child.  The hunger pangs of a baby do not know how to tell time.  As the baby cries, mom or dad may be waiting impatiently for a bottle to warm.  There are diapers to be changed, food to be prepared, laundry to be done, house to be cleaned, and other members of the family to be cared for. Parents may need to stand over a bed in the middle of the night where a fever-ridden child is lying and looking up to mommy or daddy to do something. I can remember sitting by our children during the night and rubbing legs as growing pains were occurring.  

         When a child starts to school, mom and dad are challenged to use social skills to help the child make the right friends. Parents must get along with other parents as well as the child’s teachers.  There is still a great deal of physical energy required, but at least mom and dad get to sleep through the nigh most of the time. Mental abilities are challenged as parents help children with homework that often involves new methods of doing things.

         As the child progresses into the tweens and teens, mom and dad discover that the sweet little baby that they thought would be perfect is not so perfect.  Now, as never before, parents must rely on their spiritual strength to work with the child.  Disappointments seem to come all too quickly as parents discover that the child does not think exactly as the parents do about certain things. “Who is this child?” they often wonder.  “Is this the same sweet baby we fed and diapered in the middle of the night?”

         When the child becomes an adult, parents are still parenting often from afar.  We can’t “boss” anymore.  We simply make suggestions for consideration.  Even though we have “been there and done that”, our adult children may need to discover the truth for themselves.

         Yes, parenting is not easy.  I think of the old pioneer parents who often buried several children at one time after the children had suffered with smallpox or another deadly disease. I’m sure that many must have wondered, “Is it worth it?” 

Parenting does, in spite of its many challenges, have many rewards.  As I watched our children step up and take responsibility at the death of our second son, I was comforted to see them in action.  I overheard our daughter say, “My two children are the best thing that ever happened to me!” It definitely is worth all the heartaches and effort involved when we see that our children have become responsible citizens who truly love their mom and dad, each other, and their families.

A Great Tool

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come;Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… (Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a Child…

A Great Tool

We all like good tools that will help us get our tasks accomplished.  Some  of the latest and best tools to be invented, in my opinion, include the computer, cell phone, and the technology that comes with them.  However, just like any other tool, they must be used appropriately or they can cause harm.

I don’t think there are very many people who would give a toddler a hammer and let them use it any way wanted.  How about a chain saw, or even a weed trimmer or lawn mower?  Would we just hand them to children and walk away?  Yet, isn’t that what many are doing when they buy their children a cell phone?  As with any tool, children need to be trained to use technology properly.

Just as there are certain things a hammer is to be used for, the same applies to a cell phone or computer.  Just as a child should not be allowed to go around beating on good furniture with a hammer, neither should a child be allowed to do everything desired with technology.  Definite rules need to be used with children and technology. 

“But you can’t watch a child every minute!” many would say.  Well, if rules are laid down and the child cannot be trusted to follow those rules, there is an easy solution.  Simply take the cell phone away or disconnect the computer until the child can be trusted and DON’T GIVE IN!  

It is helpful to sit down with children and go over rules as soon as the computer or phone is received.  The rules should be written down and placed on the refrigerator or other easily observed place.  It would be even more helpful for the child to sign a written paper swearing to obey those rules before the phone is purchased.  

Just as with any tool, proper usage is necessary.  Personally, I am very happy to have the technology.  It can make life much easier if properly used.  I’m afraid too many parents are guilty of waiting until a child does something wrong and then saying, “You shouldn’t have done that!”  Every child is inquisitive and will want to examine possibilities.  It isn’t fair to expect a child to automatically know what should or should not be done without being taught.

Let’s teach our children to use this wonderful tool the proper way!

What Can We Reasonably Expect from Children?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

What Can We Reasonably Expect from Children?

         It seems that there is a certain belief permeating society that we should not do anything to children to make them feel badly.  Many have come to believe that so simple a thing as making a child sit still is not good for the child. Has anyone ever really known of a child being hurt in any way by sitting still?  Perhaps all of this fear of harming a child came about when so-called “experts” told us we were not to spank children. No matter where it began, it seems to have caused us to raise a generation or two of children who are generally undisciplined and not really happy.  

         There are certain basic things we can and should expect of children.  If we all could agree on these things, there would be more consistency in how those many adults touching a child’s life would deal with children.

         I believe that basic expectations as relating to a child’s behavior are as follows:

  • Children should act in no way that would affect others around them negatively. An individual’s freedom ends when it begins to take away the freedom of another.
  • Children should be quiet when someone else is speaking and wait until that person is finished before talking.
  • Children should listen to adults and not interrupt when they are talking.
  • Children should learn that certain places are alright for running and certain places are not appropriate for running.
  • Children should learn to speak softly and not yell at others unless they are playing outside games or if it is appropriate in a certain situation.
  • Children should not touch the belongings of others unless invited to do so.
  • Children should not ask for things that others have.  They need to learn to wait to be invited to have something.
  • Children should always knock before entering another person’s house or room.
  • Children should never open a refrigerator, drawers, or doors to rooms in another person’s home.
  • Children should remember to say “excuse me”. “I’m sorry”, “thank you”, and “please” at appropriate times.
  • Children should not touch things in stores when shopping without first checking with parents.
  • Children should learn to let others go first.  
  • Children should stand and let elderly people have their seats when there are no other seats available.  
  • Children should never talk back in a negative way to adults.  It is alright for them to disagree in a nice way, however.

These are a few things that we should expect children to do. Space does not permit listing everything. This is a good start. If we follow these suggestions, the boys and girls will not get out of hand. We need to get over the idea that children today are different.  Children are basically the same as they always were.  It is the parents and teachers who are different in their expectations and teaching of the children.  Children who “know the rules” and obey them are more secure and happier children than those who go untaught and undisciplined. Needless to say, adults are happier as well.  It is much more pleasant to be around children who can act nicely.

When Does Mom Stop Being Mom?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble,www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

When Does Mom Stop Being Mom?

       From the time a child is born, mom is the one always there to feed, clothe, snuggle, and protect the little baby.  Dad is there also, but it is mom who is the closest at the early stage of life in a child.  When the child cries, mom can usually even tell what kind of cry it is.  Is it a hungry cry, a hurt cry, or an angry cry?  Mom knows.  The baby understands that mom is the one who will provide the basic needs.  The baby’s world revolves around its mom and the baby thinks mom is the greatest thing in the world.

         When the child starts to kindergarten, that child begins to discover that there are other people in the world who can make it happy.  Many children have a special bond with their kindergarten teacher.  At this point in life, mom begins to take back seat.  Mom has to stand back a little as the child begins to discover the world.  What mom hasn’t shed a tear or two as the child heads out the door for its first day of school?

         As the child begins to approach puberty, mom suddenly becomes perhaps the dumbest person in the world.  It is almost impossible to do anything right that pleases the son or daughter.  This is a time when many moms suffer a great deal of pain as their child begins to reject them.  Mom knows, however, that the child is “sprouting its own wings” and she patiently waits and watches, interjecting guidance wherever possible to help that child she still loves dearly, in spite of the fact that at times it seems that the child has no love for her.

         When the young adult goes to college, that son or daughter begins to sense the meaning of homesickness.  A reevaluation of mom and dad takes place and by the time the child is out of college, several hundred dollars later, the young adult is surprised at how much mom has learned in those four years!  The young adult still feels, however, that mom is behind the times and is not fully able to understand current situations.

         Through the adult years, the son or daughter gradually begins to understand that maybe mom wasn’t so far off base after all.  Little by little, the adult starts seeking advice from the person once thought to be ignorant of all modern behavior. “I wonder what mom would do?” the adult thinks in tough situations. “I’ll talk it over with her.”

         Finally, the time comes for mom’s life on this earth to end.  Mom is no longer there to go to for advice.  The son or daughter is now completely on its own unless dad is still around.  When tough situations come along, the individual thinks, “I wonder what mom would have done.  What would mom tell me to do?  I wish I could talk it over with her.”

         And in the coming years, the memory of mom’s words and actions still exist to help guide the child in decision-making.

         When does mom stop being a mom?  Never! The effects of her mothering are exhibited in grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Her teachings are felt in generations to come.  Mothering is a wonderful opportunity that knows no end.