Monthly Archives: July 2022

Helping Children Set Goals for School

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children Set Goals for School

       If we don’t know where we are going, how do we know when we get there?  Children and adults alike need to know what they are aiming toward.  As we help our children get ready for school, we need to include a time to sit down with each child individually and help that child set realistic goals for the coming school year.

         Goals should be predicated on what is best for the child.  There should be both short-term and long-term goals.  Goals should lead to mastery of needed material for the child’s success.

         It is all too easy for a parent to impose goals on a child to accomplish what the parent wants for the child rather than what the child really needs.  All adults have dreams and aspirations for their children and these same dreams and aspirations can cause us to set goals for a child to accomplish what we want, not taking into consideration the child’s real abilities.  Good goals will take into consideration the problems a child has had and the vision of what that child can realistically accomplish.  To expect all children to be “A” students is not being realistic.  Even if a child is smart enough to be an “A” student, that child may get a teacher whose personality does not “click” with the child, the child may have times when he/she may not feel well, or a child may have a mental block or lack of background experience to provide a needed foundation for understanding of what is being taught.  In fact, grades should not be the priority of goals.  Grades should be taken out of the picture and effort should be emphasized.  If a child is developing good study habits and doing the best possible, that is the important thing.  

         Enough short-term goals should be set to encourage a child along the way.  One short-term goal might be to spend a certain length of time each school night for a week doing homework.  When that goal is reached, another short-term goal of perhaps a month of a certain amount of time spent on homework could be set. The child or parent may decide on an award for the accomplishment of each goal. The emphasis should be placed on spending time learning the material.  Even if a child says that the work is done, sitting there for a certain length of time will provide time for reflection on what is learned as well as thoughts of application of the material learned.  To finish a paper or two does not mean that a child has learned the needed facts. It is wonderful when a child learns the pleasantness of learning!  Learning opens new worlds that many children never discover in their eagerness to “get it over with”.  A long-term goal is to see that the child experiences the joy of learning.  

         Some schools have done away with grades of A, B, C, D, and F.  Some schools are experimenting with promoting children by levels.  When a child can test out of a certain level, that child moves to the next level. There are many examples of students who have made high grades who don’t know the material and vice versa.  Just to “finish homework” doesn’t meet the need of the child.  Parents, as well as teachers, need to make sure that the child knows the material.  Goals should be set to accomplish mastery of material assigned.   

         Each child is unique and one set of goals does not fit all.  As parents take the time to sit down with the child and discuss needs and goals, it would be well to listen to the child first.  Most children will be honest and surprisingly know what they need to do if given a chance.  It is the parent’s role to provide guidance and encouragement.  

Helping Children Learn to Plan

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristiansauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children Learn to Plan

Luke 14:28  “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower.  Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”

         It has been said that there are three kinds of people.  There are those who make things happen, those who let things happen, and those who wonder what happened!

         If we want our children to grow up and stay out of the last two categories, we need to help them learn how to plan.  Getting ready for school to start is a great time to work with children to help them learn to plan for their needs for the coming school year.

         Many churches have backpack ministries.  If this is the case, it is still a good idea to have the children figure the cost of items provided.  Also, the child should write a thank you note to the organization who provided the gifts.  However, much learning can take place when a child helps with the planning and purchasing.

         A good starting place with children who are able to read, write, and do some math is to simply have the child sit down with pencil and paper and make a list of everything he/she can think of that will be needed for school.  When the child thinks his list is complete, sit down with the child and divide the list into needs and wants.  Explain that a certain amount of money will be available and that needs must be met before wants can be addressed. Some items may need to be added or subtracted from the list according to the parent’s choice.  It is possible that there are items left from sisters or brothers or the previous year that can be used to save money.  Such things as scissors can be used year after year.  However, there is a real value in children having some new items to start school.  It is a great feeling for a child to go to school with a new box of crayons, a new pencil, and a new tablet or notebook and at least one new outfit of clothing.  

         After the lists have been decided upon, give the child several flyers containing ads with prices. We all get those almost daily in our mailboxes.  Ask the child to look through the flyers and check on prices of the items on the lists; then, write the prices beside the items listed.  It is good if flyers are available from several places to enable the child to compare prices and find the lowest ones.  Since there will be several items, allow the child to use a calculator to add the prices to get a total. 

         Now it is time to do the actual purchasing.  Undoubtedly, there will need to be some changes made when the store has sold out of certain items, etc.  However, guard against allowing the child to do impulse buying.  Take time to discuss the pros and cons of purchases that must be changed from the original plan.  

         After the items have been obtained, plan for a place to do homework in the home.  Help the child decide the best time and place to do homework.  Storage places for books, homework, or other school items need to be decided.  Doing so now will prevent having those items thrown helter-skelter all around the house and the child not being able to find them when needed.

         Older children can be given an allotted amount of money and be allowed to make their own purchases.  They will then have to decide how best to use that money.  If they get to keep what they don’t use, you can be sure they will try to find the best bargains.  Younger children need more help, of course.  Parents may need to do the writing and calculating for them.

         It wouldn’t hurt to mention the length of time that mom and dad have to work on the job to pay for the needs for the children. (In a nice way, of course, so the children don’t feel guilty.) Doing so will help the children to have a realistic concept of the value of purchases and they will probably be more inclined to take care of those things.  

         The process of planning just described will enhance reading skills, writing skills, and math skills.  Children will have a better idea of the value of money and the things it can purchase.  They will have an exercise in critical thinking and with this process repeated enough times, they will grow up making things happen, not just letting things happen, or wondering what happened.   

Teens Need to Learn About Cooking

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children,Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Teens Need to Learn about Cooking

         Summer is a good time to let teens into the kitchen to learn how to use some of the appliances and prepare food.  Most schools no longer offer a home economics class and it is left to the family and individual to make sure teens have the basics needed to care for their future families. True, we can buy much food already prepared.  However, there are certain basics all should know about working in the kitchen.  

         All children can do something in the kitchen, but teens, especially, need to spend enough time there to learn about safety, measuring ingredients properly, and food preparation.

         What should a teen learn about safety?  They should learn not to let electricity and water come together.  Appliances need to be plugged in and unplugged with dry hands.  Knives should be used properly.  Cutting should always be done away from the body and not toward it.  Dull knives can be just as dangerous, or more so, than sharp knives.  Utensils and hands should be kept away from beaters or blades.  Knowledge of the fact that sugar in cooking makes a hotter temperature can prevent many burns.

         Although students learn about measurements in school, they need the practice of using that knowledge in cooking.  Their understanding depends on usage of the facts.  Teens need to learn that filled measuring cups and measuring spoons need to be leveled across the top with a flat blade for accuracy.  Doing this as a teen gives them the idea of amounts so that when they are older, they will be able to “eyeball” amounts in certain recipes.

         Here is a recipe that most teens really like.  It is one where the sugar mixture will get very hot, so a deep pan and long handled stirring spoon should be used to keep spatters from burning the hands. 

No Bake Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cookies (Boiled)

2 c. sugar (If you mix the cocoa and sugar together first, it is easier to get the lumps out of the cocoa.)

½ c. milk

1 stick butter

3-4 rounded Tbsp. cocoa

1/2 c. peanut butter

2 ½ to 3 c. quick-cooking oats

1 to 2 tsp. vanilla

½ to 1 c. chopped nuts (May substitute coconut for nuts.)

Boil sugar, milk, butter and cocoa for 1 to 1 ½ minutes; start timing after mixture reaches a full rolling boil. Stir occasionally until mixture comes to a boil; then, stir constantly while boiling. Remove from heat.  Add peanut butter and vanilla; stir to melt.  Add oatmeal. Add nuts and coconut, if desired.  Beat until blended; then, drop on waxed paper or aluminum foil. Work quickly so mixture won’t get firm before you finish.  (If cookies are runny, they were not cooked long enough.  If they get hard and crumbly, they were cooked too long.)

Don’t forget to clean up the kitchen.  Don’t leave it for mom to do!

Children and Bad Habits

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children and Bad Habits

       Parents do a great deal of fretting about the bad habits of their children.  What child at some time or another has not displayed a habit that parents wish could be broken?  There are a few things that may help parents as they attempt to work with their children’s habits.

         Children need to know how easily it is to form a bad habit.  They must be able to recognize when a bad habit has been formed, and they may need help in breaking that habit.

         One exercise to help children realize how easily it is to form a bad habit uses a few pieces of string. (Sewing thread or sticks may also be used.) Give the child one piece of string and ask the child to break it.  Next, give the child two pieces of string and ask the child to break them.  Continue adding another piece of string until the child is no longer able to break the string.  Explain that when we do something one time, it is easy to not repeat that action, but the more we do it, the harder it is to stop the activity until finally it is almost impossible.  This gives a child a basic idea of how habits are formed.  At the same time this exercise is done, it would be wise to point out the bad habits that should be avoided and their consequences. 

         Many children are unaware that they have formed a bad habit. They don’t realize what they are doing, nor do they realize how that habit might be offending others. One example might be a child who constantly interrupts when someone else is talking. In such a case, the child will need to be told that what is being done is very annoying to others and is a bad manner.  Telling a child is the first step, but it is hardly ever the last step to conquering the habit. It helps to use a piece of paper and a pencil and ask the child to keep tally of how many times the action is done.  Each time the child interrupts, the child must make a mark on the piece of paper.  After a period of time, ask the child to count the marks.  This is a painful realization of truth.  It is impossible to dispute the fact that the bad habit is there!  

         One activity that often helps a child overcome a bad habit is to give the child a certain number of pennies and ask the child to give one back to you each time the action is done.  Set a length of time for the “game” such as a half day or a day. The child is allowed to keep the pennies that remain after the time set.  Just as it takes about seven times for a child to start forming a habit, it will possibly take seven or more times of this activity to break the habit. It usually isn’t the amount of money involved as much as the challenge to the child to keep all of the pennies.  As with all learning, consistency is absolutely necessary.  If these activities are all done, and then the parent slips and lets the child go back to the old habit, much effort is lost.

         Breaking bad habits of children can result in a much happier family.  Tolerating a child who consistently bothers others is stressful.  It not only bothers people around the child, but without realizing it, those same people are having ill feelings toward the child that the child senses.  When a child is well-behaved, that child receives approval from others.  This is a real boost to self-confidence in any child.  The child also gains confidence in knowing he/she is able to overcome a trait.