Monthly Archives: January 2023

Stuffed Animals can be Teaching Tools

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child….

Stuffed Animals Can be Teaching Tools

         Playing with my young grandson and his stuffed animals when he was young reminded me of how much a child can learn from this activity.  As an adult plays with a child, the conversation can be guided in such a way that the child can learn about manners and consideration of the needs and feelings of others.  In addition, the child can develop empathy that can be transferred into real life in interrelationships with people.  Creative skills are enhanced and children learn social skills.

         Most children really enjoy playing “pretend”.  A child and adult may pretend any number of situations using the animals.  My grandson and I pretended that Leo, the Lion, had a birthday and we were giving him a birthday party.  We took the other animals shopping for Leo and talked about what would be appropriate for a lion.  I pointed out that Leo liked to eat meat while some of the other animals, such as the lambs, liked to eat grass.  We talked about how we should choose a gift that would make Leo happy and not pick a gift that would just make us happy.  Each animal knocked politely on the door before entering the home of Leo.  Each animal said “please”, “thank you”, and “excuse me” when appropriate.  Leo mentioned that he would be writing thank-you notes to all who brought a gift. In these actions, my grandson learned about saying “excuse me”, thank you”, and “please”.  He also learned about considering the wants and needs of others instead of self.  The play could have been carried further and play money could have been used to purchase a gift.  In doing so, proper use of money could have been taught.

         On another occasion, I used his stuffed roadrunner and his stuffed dog to tell a story patterned after Aesop’s fable, “The Fox and the Crane”.  This story emphasizes consideration of others.  Letting the roadrunner substitute for the crane and the dog substitute for the fox, I told how the dog invited the roadrunner for dinner and served milk in a flat plate.  The dog liked the flat plate because the dog laps the milk, but the roadrunner could not get the milk with his beak. The roadrunner decided to teach the dog a lesson and invited the dog to dinner at his house.  The roadrunner served milk in a tall, narrow, vessel that he could put his beak in, but the dog couldn’t lap the milk from.  They each realized that they should have considered the needs of the other and apologized.  I briefly mentioned that people have different needs and that we should consider those needs.

         Most children have at least one stuffed animal. There are many opportunities to use other common things around the house to teach children and develop good attitudes.  If we take advantage of these opportunities while the children are young, they grow up with proper feelings toward others and we save them, as well as ourselves, many headaches. My grandson begged me over and over to play with him with his stuffed animals.  I considered it time well spent.  As he enjoyed playing, he learned many important things to help him in later life and stimulated his creative ability at the same time.  He developed conversational skills and learned to think quickly as he responded to my conversation in our pretend games.  

When Children Get Sick

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

When Children Get Sick

         When children get sick, as they inevitably do, we often ponder about how much to “baby” them or just how to care for them.  What mother has not sat by the side of a sick child and thought, “I’d rather it were me feeling that way than my child”?  It hurts us emotionally while at the same time it is hurting the child physically.

         Of course, we try to do all we can to prevent that sickness in the first place.  We encourage the children to wash their hands often, singing “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing with soap and warm water to make sure the hands are scrubbed long enough to get clean.  We do our best to make sure the child has plenty of fruit and vegetables in the diet to provide the vitamin C and other nutrients needed to fight the germs.  We try to see that the child is dressed properly for the cold weather, and we try to keep the child away from places where we know germs are present.  In spite of all our care, we often feel at least a little guilt when the child gets sick as we wonder if we did all we could have done to prevent the illness.

         There are actually some positive things that come from sickness.  One such positive learning is that children come to realize that they are vulnerable.  Many young people often feel as though they can do anything and nothing bad will ever happen.  Sickness teaches a child that we each need to be careful with how we care for ourselves. A time of sickness in the home can become a time of bonding between family members as all pitch in and help the sick one.  The sick child may learn to appreciate the love and care of others.  A third benefit is a possible development of sympathy and understanding of others when they become sick.  It seems that we can never truly appreciate the feelings of others until we, ourselves, have experienced what they are going through.  People who seldom get sick often are impatient with those who do get sick more often.

         How much care should be given to a sick child?  In my opinion, we need to take advantage of this time to “coddle” the child a bit.  There are, of course, occasions when this is not true.  If a child starts to take advantage of the extra attention, we need to back off.  When a child is truly sick, however, that child needs assurance of love and care.  We need a balance of not seeming overly concerned but, at the same time, children need to know that we wish the best for them. To this day, I can remember my mom’s hand on my forehead when, as a child, I would get sick and throw up.  I’m sure that hand did no physical good, but it showed that she cared.  Another memory is a time when my dad brought a pretty colored ear of corn from the field for me when I had tonsillitis.  

Should a child be allowed to watch TV?  Yes, but only educational programs. Should a child do homework?  The child should do homework only if he/she is not feeling too badly.  I would not force it but would check occasionally to see if he/she feels like it, and then I would give assistance. Should a child be allowed to get up and run around?  Generally, we need to allow a child to do what that child feels like doing until the temperature has been normal for at least 24 hours.  Then the child probably needs to go back to school.  Sometimes, medicine can make a child feel better while he/she is getting worse.  This may be the case when medicine is given to treat symptoms only and the medicine does not treat the cause of the symptoms.  

         We probably will not do everything perfectly when our children get sick.  We simply try to give proper physical and emotional care to the best of our ability and pray that the Great Physician will do whatever else is needed.  

      

                         

Snow Days can be Pleasant

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a Child…

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

       Almost every school year we have a few “snow days”.  We may not have any more this year, but it is good to be prepared just in case we do.  Some people seem to really dislike them.  Others keep hoping for a snow day.  Since we know they happen almost every year, it is a good idea to consider how to use them wisely.

         There is no doubt that challenges come with the knowledge that all routines have changed.  Many questions arise.  What do I do to entertain the kids?  What do I feed the kids for lunch?  What do I do about the unfinished chores at my job?  What if the electricity goes off?  How long will this last?  All of these things have to be dealt with while at the same time the children are wondering what to do.

         Children do not have to be, nor should they be, entertained.  Children need to learn to think for themselves.  No child ever died from boredom! Sometimes it is good for a child not to have something going all the time.  Many parents seem to think that raising children is like the story of the carrot and the horse.  They think there should be something in front of a child to look forward to all the time.  When a child says, “I’m bored”, simply say, “What do you plan to do about that?”  Put the responsibility back on the child.  Chances are that anything the parent suggests will not be accepted.  It is best to say, “I hope you find a way to use your time wisely”.  It is good if parents make themselves available to play board games or other games with the children; however, it is best to have the child make the decision whenever possible.

         Allowing the children to become part of the family team to plan for electricity outage or other happenings is good.  Also, storytelling about the time when there was no electricity in homes, or cars to go places, is more meaningful at a time like this.  The children can better understand the time when it was necessary to saddle a horse or hitch up a wagon in order to go someplace.  This helps them understand their history courses in school.  A discussion of how families lived when children were home most of the time, can further develop this understanding.

         Chores are ever present for children to help with.  It is a good time to reorganize a study place and check for overlooked homework.  Good cooking lessons can be learned as children assist with the preparation of lunch.  It is also a good time to simply rest and take things slowly.

         I remember a phone conversation with our daughter when our grandchildren were small.  “Mom”, she said, “they are just a ball!”  She was genuinely enjoying the children.  Both of those children have done well.  It would be nice if we all remembered that children are a gift from God.  Let’s enjoy our gifts!  Snow days give us an opportunity to do just that.

Children Test Our Love

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Test our Love

       If we were to ask every parent, “Do you love your children?” probably almost all of them would say, “Of course, I love my children!”  There is no doubt that most parents really try to love their children all the time.  There is a natural, inborn attachment to our children; however, when it comes to the everyday nitty-gritty, down-to-earth task of raising children, it is not always easy to show that love.

         Every day our love is tested by those to whom we give most of our time and effort. Children test us unknowingly and innocently.  As they go through the natural processes of growing up, their actions and circumstances place a constant demand on us.  We are tested in every characteristic of love.  I Corinthians 13 in the Bible gives us a description of love. It tells us that love is long-suffering, doesn’t put itself up higher than others, isn’t easily provoked, is patient, doesn’t have to have its own way, bears all things, endures all things, and doesn’t lose hope.  Children test us in each of these categories.  

         What patience it takes with the newborn!  Our patience and long-suffering are tested each time a parent gets up at night to feed the child and care for it.  There is actual physical suffering as the sleep-deprived parent stumbles to the baby to comfort it.  It seems so hard!  Just when we think the baby is comforted, it starts crying again, requiring the same action by parents over and over.

         As the baby grows and becomes a toddler, again our patience is tested as we tell the young child “no, no” and the child continues in the forbidden action.  Even our physical stamina is tested as we constantly take little hands away from places they should not be.  At this point, we may become “easily provoked”.  

         Parents “bear all things” as the child continues to grow to school age.  We put up with people who may point out our child’s imperfections.  After all, we’ve invested a lot in the child by now.  When someone shows us a fault, it is often taken as a reflection on our ability to parent the child.  What do we do?  Most of the time there is no choice but to grin and “bear it”.  We must continue to have hope that the child will overcome the flaw.  

         As the child grows into the teen years, we seem to be tested even more than before.  Getting up at night with the newborn or chasing after the toddler seems preferable to dealing with the heartaches that are often experienced by parents of teens.  Here we find that we do not always get our own way and we must endure a great deal. 

         When children finally reach adulthood, our love test is still proceeding.  Choices are made by children that we don’t always agree with, but we love our children in spite of not “having our own way”.  Many times we even have to swallow our pride and admit that the child knew better than we did.

         It is good for parents to do self-evaluations.  Do I have the love that God expects me to have for my children?  Have I been a good example for them to show love to others?  Have I taught them the real meaning of love?  I’m glad that we are not expected to be perfect.  Hopefully, the children have learned enough about love to love me in return in spite of my own imperfections!

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

         In a phone conversation with our daughter-in-law a few years ago, she told me that our four-year-old grandson was having a “sweet” day.  She related that when they went shopping and she lifted him out of the car, he softly and gently said, “Mommy, I love you.”  Later, when they were in the store and she had him by the hand, he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.  What precious moments!

         “Oh,” you say, “but it doesn’t last!”  Well, actually, it can last.  Of course, it cannot be every moment of every day that children express their love, but there can be an ongoing inner love that leads to respect of parents.  This in-dwelling love should also be present in the parents for the children.  

         Most people would quickly recall the teenage years when children so often tend to disrespect parents as they struggle to “leave the nest” and become independent.  I dare say, even though there are times of friction between parent and child, the foundation can be laid that ensures that children always come back to that expression of love.  

When our oldest grandson reached puberty, I called him aside and said, “Now, Dylan, you are about to become a teenager.  I want you to be like your Uncle Charles.  When he was in high school, he was never afraid to give me a hug no matter who was watching.”  It worked.  Dylan gave me hugs in front of his peers all through his teenage years. He was never afraid to show affection to his mother as well.  His younger sister followed his example and also showed affection to her mom and grandparents.

         A worse scenario than a teen who refuses to show affection to parents, is the grown-up who speaks sharply to aging parents or shows disdain when a parent does something that the grown-up child finds distasteful.  How often have we heard, also, of the aging parent in the nursing home who receives few or no visits from adult children?  

         Dr. Adrian Rogers once remarked in a sermon that he would never allow his children to speak disrespectfully to their mother.  He said that their mother went through much pain to bring their children into the world.  As they grew, she changed their diapers and cared for them in many ways. As a father, he wanted his children to know that they owed their mother respect and that they should treat her with dignity.

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone would love and respect everyone else? Let’s teach our children that love means that we care for others regardless of whether they see things the same way we do.  When others make their best efforts, let’s appreciate those efforts and not be judgmental and critical.  There are ways of expressing our beliefs without hurting others.  After all, we are all learning and growing every day.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The mistakes of others are no worse than our own.  To love others doesn’t mean that we must agree, but it does mean that we should be kind, patient, and longsuffering.  Let us practice this love to our children as we expect them to practice it to us in return.  

         I know of no better description of love than that given in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the New Testament.  It would be good if we all read this chapter often.