Monthly Archives: April 2023

An Easy Way to Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchrisitianauthor.com

An Easy Way to Learn

Train up a child…

         I well remember my dad telling my sisters and me, “If you won’t listen, you’ll have to learn the hard way!”

         Listening to the descriptions of the experiences of those who have lived in the past is an easy way to learn.  As Memorial Day approaches, we have an opportunity to describe the experiences of those who have gone before us to help our children learn.

         What can children learn by listening to descriptions of the past?  They can learn of some things people did that worked well, some things people did that did not work well, and they can gain some inspiration to make their own lives count.

         Memorial Day is certainly a time to remember veterans who have fought for our freedom, but it is also a time to remember our relatives of the past who made significant accomplishments.  It would be well for parents to find specific stories to read or tell to children both about veterans and their own relatives.  Stories about veterans help children appreciate the freedom they enjoy.  Stories of past relatives provide roots and a feeling of self worth.  Good stories of past relatives instill a sense of pride and motivate a child to want to “measure up” to family history.

         It is a good idea to take children to a cemetery on Memorial Day and reverently walk through and observe some of the tombstones. There will undoubtedly be a few graves of people who died at a very young age.  A discussion of how some of the people may have died could include a discussion of the use of drugs and alcohol.  This lesson is far more effective than any lecture in a classroom.  The children can see for themselves that the use of drugs and alcohol is definitely something that did not work well for these individuals.  It would be well for parents to point out specific cases with which they are familiar of instances where results were not good.  For example, some of the young people may have died from car accidents where they were driving too fast.  

         One goal in raising children should be to help children decide in their own minds what is best.  Telling is not teaching.  In fact, if we lecture children, they often rebel.  We want them to settle in their own minds what is right.  If they can make these decisions when they are young, when the challenging teen years come, they have already decided and do not have to doubt.  The visual image of a tombstone in the mind of a young person might well stay until the teen years and be present when that first driver’s license is issued or when temptations to use drugs or alcohol comes.  

         Children don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” if they will listen to stories of the past and base their decisions on those things that have already been tried and failed, or those things which have been tried and succeeded.  It is easier to learn by listening and seeing than to have to try everything for oneself.    

“Preventive Discipline”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Nobel; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

“Preventive Discipline”

         We’ve all heard of preventive maintenance.  We check the roof of our house to make sure we replace it before we get leaks to cause greater damage.  We get regular oil changes for our cars to prevent engine damage, etc.  Why not do some preventive work with our children so we won’t have to discipline them later??

         What kind of preventive discipline can we do?  Believe it or not, one of the very best actions we can take is to teach children good manners.  Since the basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others, by teaching this, many future problems can be avoided.  

         Take, for instance, the fussing and arguing that so often occurs with youngsters.  If the child has been taught to be kind and considerate to others, he will not always demand his own way.  Instead, he will think of making the other person happy.  Don’t most arguments occur because someone wants his or her own way?  If that person has been taught to be kind and considerate of others, many arguments can be avoided.  

         Often, we adults are guilty of punishing a child for doing something wrong when the child has not previously been made to understand that that particular action was unacceptable.  Children should have clear concepts of what is expected ahead of time else the punishment is really unfair.  We can prevent much discipline by taking the time to teach the child why or why not he should act a certain way.  Only then is it fair to punish a child for poor behavior.

         Another way to prevent the need for discipline is to control the environment of the child.  To some extent we can control situations and see that a child does not get put in a place where his weaknesses will undoubtedly lead to misbehavior.  This is especially true with very young children.  If you know two children are going to fight over a toy, take one child with you to do something else before he sees the toy.  As children grow older, become acquainted with families whose children will be a good influence on your children.  Control the child’s acquaintances.  My dad used to say, “One boy a whole boy, two boys a half boy, and three boys no boy at all”.

         A part of controlling a child’s environment includes choosing a good school and taking children to acceptable places of recreation.  We need to be involved in the social life of children.  Some might say, “Teens don’t want their parents around”.  This may be true but they need parents whether they want them or not.  The flip side is that parents should try not to embarrass their children.  However, our parenting does not end when children become teenagers.  In fact, I dare say, we are needed much more at this time.  It is so great to see teenagers who are not afraid to give mom and dad a hug and kiss in front of their friends!

         If we watch closely, we will find many ways to stop the need for discipline.  We will never get to the place where no discipline is needed, but we can certainly eliminate a great deal of it. Much of the time, we can guide and direct children in the way they should go without being harsh.

Children are People, Too!

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

“Children Are People, Too”

         When our youngest child was in kindergarten, his teacher posted on the door of his classroom, “Children are people, too”.  At first, I wondered what she was talking about.  Of course, children are people, too.  Then I started thinking about times when I had talked with other adults and left my children standing quietly without joining in the conversation.  I began to notice other adults and how so often they would talk and forget about the children listening to everything they would say.  Sometimes, parents would talk about their children while the children were standing right in front of them.  It was almost as though they thought the children were deaf and did not hear their comments.  I remember a time when my husband and I had done this very thing.

         When our youngest son was still small enough to sit on the armrest between my husband and me, (car seats for children were not required then), my husband and I were driving somewhere and having a conversation about a person we thought was doing something wrong. Our son was sitting quietly between us.  Our other children were in school.  We were driving along, expressing one opinion after another, when our son suddenly spoke up and said, “Don’t forget, Mom, God hears everything you say!”  I was stunned.  My husband and I were not only reminded of what we had been teaching him, but we were also reminded that children hear everything we say in their presence.

         When I was very young, my mom would make dresses of printed chicken-feed sacks for my sisters and me.  She would starch and iron them and dress us up with ribbons in our hair.  Every Saturday afternoon, she would load up her crate of eggs, and we would go to Monett, MO to sell them.  Part of this ritual was a trip to the J.C. Penney store.  On one such occasion, one of my mom’s acquaintances came up to her and started talking.  The lady looked down at my sisters and me and said, “Ethel, you have such pretty girls.  I don’t know how you do it.  They always look so nice!  Every one of them is so pretty!”  My four sisters and I stood there in our starched and ironed feed sack dresses feeling so very proud.  As the lady said her goodbyes and started to leave, she looked down at me and said, “Now, Ethel, is this one yours, too?  She doesn’t look like the rest of them!”True, my hair was blonde; theirs was dark brown. Their hair was curly; mine was very straight. I felt so ugly!  I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling!

         When children are around, let’s include them in our conversations.  They learn to converse as we treat them with respect and talk to them as equals.  At church, shake hands with the children as though they are just as important as adults, because they are.  Let’s be careful about the comments we make in the presence of children.  Let’s remember, “Children are people, too.”

Some Things Never Change

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child….

Some Things Never Change

There are those who say, “Things have never been this bad in our country before!”  I beg to differ.  We read in history about the Civil War, slavery, the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and more.  Also, if we read the Old Testament, we read about babies being sacrificed by being thrown into the fire and many more terrible things.  We don’t like to think about such things, but truth is truth.  There have always been those who are evil and those who have fought for what is right.

What about now?  We have many things happening in our country that go against what many consider to be right.  The answer is the same.  The Bible never changes and neither do its principles.  How does this affect the raising of children?

We need to teach the Bible to children.  As I ponder what to write about raising children, I am convinced more and more that the answers are in the Bible.  Just because society may bring new challenges, we don’t need to change our way of raising children.  Yes, we may need to watch them more closely.  We may need to emphasize the Bible more to them.  We may need to hug them a little tighter.  We may need to make a greater effort to get them in church, but God’s principles never change.  The answer is still the same.

The Bible is based on love.  In fact, we are told that “Love never fails” in I Corinthians 13.  Love, however, is not self-satisfaction.  It goes much deeper.  It means giving up one’s own wants for the benefit of another.  Like, on the other hand, are the things that give us pleasure.  The Bible doesn’t tell us that we have to “like” what others do.  It does, however, tell us that we are to “love” everyone.  

If we can teach our children the difference between “love” and “like”, we have gone a long way in helping them navigate the world in which we live.  The Bible makes the difference very clear.  There are many times when we need to forget what we “like” and concentrate on loving our children and others.    

Building a Spiritual Foundation in Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Building a Spiritual Foundation in Children

         Childhood is a foundation for life.  That foundation needs to be established in four areas. These areas are social, mental, physical, and spiritual.  How these four areas are developed in childhood influences the successful adjustment to adulthood.

         The spiritual development of children is often neglected.  Much emphasis is placed on a good education (mental), making friends (social), and health and wellness of children (physical), but when it comes to the spiritual side of a child, parents often feel inadequate to work in this area or for some other reason, simply don’t. Yet, it is this part of a human being that permeates all other parts and gives motivation and a set of values for functioning.

         Every person is born with an instinct to worship something.  As a small child notices the many things created, questions begin to arise.  “Where did I come from?” is a natural curiosity.  “Who made the trees, flowers, and other things around me?” is also a natural question.  If a child is not given guidance in what to believe, s/he may end up in a cult or simply drift through life with little or no purpose, searching for meaning to life.  That person will always be trying to fill a void that may never be satisfied despite many attempts.  “If we don’t stand for something, we will fall for anything,” is a saying I once heard.  This seems to play out in many lives of individuals who have not had a spiritual foundation as children.

         Some parents will say, “I will let my children decide for themselves about what they believe.”  How can they decide if they have no knowledge?  We don’t let children decide about whether to go to school.  We don’t let them eat only candy all the time.  We try to make sure they choose the right friends.  They need help in deciding what to believe.

         In my opinion, there are certain basic things that should be done to help develop a spiritual foundation in children.  First, they should go to church and learn about the Bible.  There are basic things about the Bible every child should learn.  Children need to learn about the crucifixion and the meaning of the cross.  In connection with this, children need to learn John 3:16.  The Ten Commandments and The Lord’s Prayer should be memorized by every child.  Children need to learn that God is love but that he is also a just God and that we don’t get by with wrong.  Even though God will forgive us of wrongdoing if we are sorry and ask Him to do so, there are still natural consequences of sin.  They need to understand that there is a heaven and a hell, and that God sees them everywhere they are.  There is no hiding from God.  (This understanding is especially helpful when children get to the point of wanting to do something without parents knowing about it.) The more Scripture children can memorize, the better it is.   These Scripture verses will come back to them as they make decisions.  Purpose in life is obtained when children learn that God has a plan for each person.  

When my oldest sister was in her last days, at one point I stood beside her bed in St. John’s Hospital in Springfield.  She and I were holding hands, and she looked at me and said, “My biggest regret is that I didn’t get Gary and Steve (her sons) in Sunday school and church when they were little”.  We need to constantly work on the spiritual development of children just as we work on the development in other areas. When they hear about Christ arising from the grave, they take hold of a deeper meaning to life than simply pleasing mom and dad, the teacher, and friends.  No other religious leader has come back from death.  Knowing this fact will help a person decide to live for Christ.