Monthly Archives: August 2023

It’s Tough to be a Teen

Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.come

Train up a child…

It’s Tough to be a Teen

         I once viewed a video from the Missouri School Board Association that started off with a statement that one out of every five students in Missouri high schools contemplates suicide at one time or another.  What a terrible statistic!  The gentleman speaking went on to encourage all school workers in Missouri to be on the lookout for troubled students.

         Why would teens want to commit suicide?  One of the reasons given by experts is lack of hope.  Another reason is the use of drugs.  A third reason, in my opinion, may be a lack of religious training to educate them with the fact that suicide is not an end, but a beginning of an after life.

         It is difficult for teenagers to cope in society.  Most adults expect teens to be a problem.  This causes teens to feel that it is normal for them to do things they shouldn’t be doing.  I believe, as do many other teachers with whom I’ve spoken, that around age 12 a child comes to a crossroad in life. At this point, the child makes a decision as to whether he/she will try to live a good life or just go for doing what feels good at the moment.  Peer pressure influences this decision greatly.  In addition to peer pressure, children at this age have generally come in contact with many different sets of values.  Each teacher in school has his/her own set of rules and values.  Parents have a set of rules and values.  If the child comes from a broken home, the rules and values of step-parents have also probably differed.  The children have to deal with the values and rules of grandparents from both the real parents and the step parents.  Is it any wonder that children become confused?  This is especially true considering the fact that most children have not attended church to learn the real values taught there.

         Hormonal changes at this point in life have a great effect on the child.  Studies show that the cerebellum, the back part of the brain, is actually larger in puberty in proportion to the cerebrum, the front part of the brain.  This causes the teen to act on impulse rather than thinking things through.  It isn’t until about age 20 that the two parts of the brain come to correct proportion.  Rapid growth accompanies the hormonal changes and causes a child to be awkward. One week, when a child reached for a glass of water, the arm was at one length. Soon after, the arm is longer and the brain hasn’t adjusted to the new length, and the child may turn the glass over and spill the water.  On top of all of this, horror of horrors, pimples start appearing on the face!

         While all of these things are happening, children can be very cruel to each other.  Bullying is terrible, but it does exist.  We can’t guard every word that comes from the mouth of someone, but, thankfully, efforts are being made in many schools to stop bullying.

         Is it any wonder that teens are looking for a way out of all of this?  It is too bad that they don’t understand that suicide is not the answer.  We need to remind teens that all that is happening is temporary, and if they can hold on, things will get better. 

         The very best thing parents can do is to get their children in a good church that teaches the love of Christ.  If they understand this principle, they will always feel loved.  As they are taught that God has a plan for each life, they experience hope that is so desperately needed.  It is difficult to understand why more parents don’t get their children in church.  It costs no money.  Additional people are concerned for the child’s welfare.  Many activities are provided that are wholesome activities.  I could go on and on about the positive values of church and can think of no negative things.  Let’s do what is best for our children and put our personal likes and dislikes aside.

Questions Stimulate Thinking

Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…..

Questions Stimulate Thinking

       Telling is not teaching.  Many people seem to feel that if they have told a child something, the child has learned it.  Not true!  When a child is told something, or for that matter when any of us are told something, our first response may be, “Well, maybe that is true and maybe it is not true”.  There may even be resistance to being told something especially if there is even a hint of animosity toward the one doing the telling.

         A much better way to get ideas across is to ask questions.  Any time someone is asked a question, thought processes are required for the person to answer.  The person being asked must weigh in his/her own mind the pros and cons of the point being addressed.  This requires the consideration of many facets of a topic and eventually the person comes up with a conclusion on his/her own.  It is only when we genuinely believe something that we act upon it.  The belief has to become a part of us before it truly affects behavior.  Otherwise, a child being told something may act on it temporarily out of fear or respect for parents or those doing the telling.  When they later are no longer under the control of that person, they may not continue the required behavior. When children become teenagers, if they have already concluded certain things, they will not stop acting accordingly.  Those teenagers who have simply been told to act a certain way and have not come to the conclusion on their own, may completely throw away those principles.

         How do we go about asking questions or what kind of questions do we ask?

         Children need to be asked many “why” questions.  Very young children need to be asked simple questions such as “Why do we wear a coat on cold days?”  Their answers may include things such as to keep from feeling cold, to keep from being sick, to do what others are doing, etc.  Other follow-up questions might be: “What happens to us if we don’t wear coats when it is cold?” “Remember when you were sick last year? Did you forget to wear your coat before that and you got really cold? “With these questions, the child begins to see the connection between keeping warm and getting sick.  If he/she has come to that conclusion, in the future the child is more likely to wear a coat without being told.

         In elementary school, questions need to be asked such as, “What happens to people when they use illegal drugs?  Do they affect the mind?  Why do you think those drugs are illegal?  Do many people end up in prison because of drug usage?  What is happening in places where many people use drugs? Is there more crime in those areas? As children ponder these questions, they begin to conclude that it is going to be harmful to them to use drugs.

         Other questions that can be used over and over are: “Why did you do what you did? How do you think that would make you feel? How do you think the other person feels?” The more probing the questions, the more thinking there is involved.

         True learning has not taken place until a person acts out automatically the principle being taught.  Until that happens, we need to keep teaching that principle.

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristiansauthor.com

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

Train up a child…

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

         I remember an occasion when we first moved back to the Ozarks that my husband and I decided to go to Aurora to see my brother-in-law.  Since I was raised in the Ozarks and had gone to Branson from Aurora many times, I thought it would be no problem to go to Aurora from Branson. The years away had caused me to forget some very important turns and we found ourselves going around in circles and zig-zagging back and forth.  I thought we would never get to Aurora!

         When children miss a lot of school, their learning takes a similar pattern.  They go to school one day, learn some things, miss school the next day, and forget some things.  Then, when they go back to school, they have to first go back and review or relearn what they learned two days before, try to catch up on what they missed the day they were absent, and at the same time do a full day’s work for that day.  Their learning takes a zigzag pattern.  We all know that we get someplace faster when we can go in a straight line than when we zigzag back and forth. This is why it is so important that children not miss school.

         Actually, children never completely catch up on what they missed while absent.  It is amazing how much a child can learn in one day.  This is especially true of first grade.  Children move so rapidly in first grade and it is a foundation for the years to come.  I’ve always had a special place in my mind and heart for first-grade teachers.  They really have to be on top of things.  First grade is where the children learn the sounds that the letters of the alphabet make.  If they miss school much, it will affect their reading.  Also, basic concepts of numbers are taught in first grade. Unfortunately, in the past this was the time that children came in contact with most of the childhood diseases and had to miss a lot of school.  Now, due to immunizations, many of these sicknesses have been eliminated. 

         Children should, of course, stay home if they are sick; however, parents should do all possible to keep their children healthy.  Good nutrition, cleanliness, and plenty of rest are very important.  Just as a car must have good gas to run, children should have wholesome food.  Their bodies don’t do well on a diet of pop tarts or sugar cereal.  Their little hands touch so many germs each day! Washing hands often helps keep the germs out of the system.  A good bath each night takes those germs off, so they are less likely to find their way inside the body.  They need to have a regular bedtime.  At bedtime, mom or dad needs to tuck them in, perhaps tell or read a Bible story, and hear their prayers.  At this time, mom or dad can give the child a big hug and say a few words of reassurance to put the child in the right frame of mind to face the next day.  

         We don’t get “do-overs” with our children.  As this school year begins, let’s vow to do all we can to keep the children in good shape for school, keeping in mind that every day in school is an important day for learning.

Heredity, Environment, and Choices

Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

 Heredity, Environment, and Choices

         When a little baby makes its first appearance into the world, we all look at it with awe as we realize it to be a miracle from God and wonder what lies ahead for it.  Will the child be president some day?  Will the little girl be Miss America?  Maybe someday this child will discover a cure for cancer!  We go on and on speculating about the child’s future.

         As the child grows, we become more realistic in our expectations.  We begin to realize that what happens in the child’s future greatly depends on us.  We also see characteristics of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or even an aunt, uncle, or cousin.  In addition, we become frustrated when the child decides not to listen to our advice and defy what we so diligently have tried to teach.

         As nurturers, we can only affect the environment of the child.  We can make sure the child gets good food, a good education, and associates with people who may give a positive influence.  We can see that the child has good experiences to increase vocabulary and understanding of the surrounding world.  We can see that the child has clothing and a satisfactory place to live.  We can take the child to church and give the child a spiritual foundation. We can make sure that the school is doing a good job in developing the child mentally.  We can make sure that he/she gets involved in sports or does physical activity.  We work very hard at these tasks.

         It is left to our Creator to determine the characteristics of a person.  God’s design is that both the father and mother contribute genes to a child to determine the child’s tendencies upon arrival into the world.  Sometimes the child may be a “throwback” to previous generations, surprising the parents and making them wonder, “Where did that action come from?” We are left to work with what we get and raising any child is always a real challenge.  Any parent of two or more children can attest to the fact that there are no two children alike.  

         It can be very disappointing when a child grows up and seemingly wastes the talents inherited and the many efforts of parents who have nurtured tirelessly to help that child succeed in life.  On the other hand, it can be very rewarding when the child chooses to use inherited talents, abilities, and valuable advice received. Ultimately, it is always the choice of any individual as to whether inherited talents and abilities are used and advice is followed.  

         We can never be completely certain of the end product of our children.  We can only do our very best to raise children to influence them to make good choices and to have the tools to use once those choices are made.  After all, God did not make us as puppets.  He could have designed us so that He would make our choices, but He chose not to do that.  He designed us so that the only thing He cannot do is to choose for us.  In the end, each of us is accountable for self. Our actions are not justified by what our parents did or didn’t do, and it is the same with the children we are raising now.