Monthly Archives: February 2024

Who’s Right? or What’s Right?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Who’s Right or What’s Right?

Train up a child…

Who’s Right?  Or What’s Right?

         It is very easy for parents and children to get into power struggles, and each try to prove that s/he is right.  It is a challenge to parents to avoid these struggles and work with children as a partner to determine what is right.  It requires putting one’s own ego aside, using diligence in the choice of words, and knowing the right thing toward which to work.

         We often make the mistake as parents in thinking that because we won the immediate battle that we have won the war.  This is far from the truth.  Not only does winning a battle fail to guarantee future acceptable behavior in a child, but it often creates resentment and a feeling of “I’ll prove I’m right.” No one likes to have to “give in” and children are no exception. When required to do so, children often harbor resentment. On the other hand, if parent and child can reason together and come up with solutions, those solutions tend to stick, and the child has learned how to deal with the same problem in the future.  It is too bad that many parents let their egos stand in the way and won’t listen to a child’s reasoning. If parents can be patient and humble themselves and admit that they may not have all the answers, children tend to respect them more and are inclined to discuss problems in a reasonable manner.  Parents often think that respect is gained by demanding it.  The truth is that respect is gained when the parent is patient and kind and willing to listen to a child.

         If a parent is willing to admit that they are wrong, the child will respect them more.  The child feels good about self for having convinced the parent, and the parent will wait until a future time to have the upper hand.  No one likes to be told that s/he is wrong all the time.  There are times when the child is right, and we adults are wrong.  Parents may be afraid they will lose respect, but the truth is that more respect will be gained, and the child will feel freer to discuss things with parents if they feel the parents will listen to them.  

         When a child is small, parents have the right to demand proper behavior, and throughout the teen years there will be times when reasoning does not work.  For the safety and well-being of the child, the parent may need to insist on having their own way.  Whenever possible, however, reasoning with a child is a better way to teach. Demanding certain behavior works for only a short time.  We need to subdue our thirst for control to the level that will allow us to reason with children to teach truths to last for a lifetime.  It is not important to know who is right, but it is very, very important for a child to know what is right.

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

Train up a Child…

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

       Almost every school year we have a few “snow days”.  We may not have any more this year, but it is good to be prepared just in case we do.  Some people seem to really dislike them.  Others keep hoping for a snow day.  Since we know they happen almost every year, it is a good idea to consider how to use them wisely.

         There is no doubt that challenges come with the knowledge that all routines have changed.  Many questions arise.  What do I do to entertain the kids?  What do I feed the kids for lunch?  What do I do about the unfinished chores at my job?  What if the electricity goes off?  How long will this last?  All these things must be dealt with while at the same time the children are wondering what to do.

         Children do not have to be, nor should they be, entertained.  Children need to learn to think for themselves.  No child ever died from boredom! Sometimes it is good for a child not to have something going all the time.      When a child says, “I’m bored”, simply say, “What do you plan to do about that?”  Put the responsibility back on the child.  Chances are that anything the parent suggests will not be accepted.  It is best to say, “I hope you find a way to use your time wisely”.  It is good if parents make themselves available to play board games or other games with the children; however, it is best to have the child make the decision whenever possible.

         Allowing the children to become part of the family team to plan for electricity outage or other happenings is good.  Also, storytelling about the time when there was no electricity in homes, or cars to go places, is more meaningful at a time like this.  The children can better understand the time when it was necessary to saddle a horse or hitch up a wagon to go someplace.  This helps them understand their history courses in school.  A discussion of how families lived when children were home most of the time can further develop this understanding.

         Chores are ever present for children.  It is a good time to reorganize a study place and check for overlooked homework.  Good cooking lessons can be learned as children assist with the preparation of lunch.  It is also a good time to simply rest and take things slowly.

         I remember a phone conversation with our daughter when our grandchildren were small.  “Mom”, she said, “they are just a ball!”  She was genuinely enjoying the children.  Both of those children have done well.  It would be nice if we all remembered that children are a gift from God.  Let’s enjoy our gifts!  Snow days give us an opportunity to do just that.

A Real Necessity

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Real Necessity

         There is one thing that is so very important for the success of a child in school and life.  Without this, a child will be stuck on approximately the third-grade level in math and not continue to progress. That child will be unable to manage money when s/he becomes an adult although the desire may be there to do so.

         What is that one thing?  A child must know the multiplication tables!

         It seems like such a “no-brainer” to say that children should learn their multiplication tables. However, during the 20+ years of teaching GED classes, I observed over and over that this vital part of the education of my students had not been fulfilled.  I have had students from at least ten different school systems including out of state, and the story is the same.  I have had nearly 1000 students enroll in the classes I have taught and probably 90% of them did not know their multiplication tables.  Many of these students were on college level in reading indicating that the ability to learn was certainly there.

         What accounts for the fact that the multiplication tables have not been learned?  In my opinion, there are several reasons (or perhaps excuses).  Parents often leave this kind of thing up to the teachers.  The teachers are pressured to cover a certain amount of material in large classes where individual attention is not possible.  Modern math, several years ago, promoted the philosophy that if a student understood math, drill was not necessary.  Our trend for fast food and fast learning tends to cause a child to expect learning to be easy. Attitudes of “somebody owes me something,” and “I am not responsible for myself,” cause a child to believe that s/he can get by without knowing the multiplication tables.  Social promotion has fostered that idea further by letting the child know that s/he will go on to the next grade whether or not all the material has been mastered.  

         What kind of logic says that if a child can’t do third grade work, that child can do fourth grade work?  Students grow up thinking they are dumb and just can’t “get it” simply because they have not been required to “get it”.  Some students go year after year in school, getting in deeper and deeper water and feeling more and more frustrated because they can’t handle the math that requires knowing the multiplication tables.

         In school, the multiplication tables are usually introduced at the end of second grade.  In real life, we can begin working with children when they are toddlers to help them understand some number concepts.

         When playing with small children, we can simply provide information by saying such things as, “Oh, I see two blue blocks here and two more blue blocks there.  That makes four blocks.  Two times two is four.”  We need to constantly include such comments in conversation to help children become aware of numbers.

         A great deal of math can be taught with a bag of M & M’s or a bag of jellybeans.  They can be sorted into groups and counted to see how many groups of different numbers and colors can be made. When they have succeeded in learning some of the facts, they can be rewarded by allowing them to eat the candy.

         We need to require older children to write the multiplication tables over and over.  The more senses we use in learning, the faster we learn.  By writing, the child is using touch and sight.  If the child says them aloud while writing, that child is also using hearing. 

         Spanking a child to learn is not appropriate, although it may be appropriate to spank a child to get that child to take time to do homework and try to learn.  Drill is appropriate.  There are many ways and opportunities to help the children with this vital information.  All the thousands of dollars and all the new programs for education do very little good with math if a child does not know these basic facts. 

         Parents, grandparents, and teachers, it is so very important to make sure that your third and fourth graders learn their multiplication tables!