Tag Archives: Raising children

Seven Words that Could Change the World

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…

Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Seven Words that could Change the World

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in the world had good manners and an attitude of humility? There are seven words that could create a humble, repentant, and thankful attitude.  They are words that every child should learn to use intuitively.  They are words that would do away with rudeness and self-centeredness.  They are “excuse me,” “I’m sorry,” “please,” and “thank you”.  

         To say “excuse me” and “I’m sorry” in a meaningful way requires an attitude of repentance.  It requires an individual to put the other person’s feelings before one’s own feelings.  It also creates within a child an attitude of caution in the use of words or actions that may be offensive to another.  It requires giving up one’s own desires for the benefit of those in the immediate vicinity.  

         The word “please”, when said in a meaningful way, requires an attitude of humility.  Rather than feeling above a person to demand something for self, an individual must lower self to a position of “if you think I am worthy, I request a favor of you.”  The very act is a demonstration that the person saying the word considers him/herself in a lower position than the person to whom the request is being given. It is a “magic word” that causes the person being addressed to be more apt to give the favor than if it were demanded.

         Obviously, the words “thank you” express appreciation when said in a meaningful way.  As we observe children who are required to say these two words, we often see them pause just a bit before they are spoken.  In this time of pause, a child is forced to realize that something is owed to the person doing the favor.  As the child realizes this fact, he/she also realizes, although perhaps unaware of it, that their enjoyment of the favor is dependant on the other person.  In this respect, humility is fostered in the same way that saying “please” fosters humility. 

         It is so easy to teach children to say these seven words, yet parents often forget to do so.  If all children were taught to say them, they would grow up with better attitudes and everyone would get along with each other.  People who are humble do not put themselves above others.  People who appreciate what they get are not people who demand more and more of others.  People who appreciate what they have are not constantly trying to get more at the expense of others.  People who are humble do not put others down.

         Using the seven words named are simply a matter of good manners.  We know that the basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others.  It is such a simple and easy thing to teach children to use these words and mean them.  Wouldn’t it be nice if parents, teachers, grandparents, and other adults in positions of influence would help to change our world by doing so?  

Fact or Fiction

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Fact or Fiction?

         Occasionally, in school textbooks, there will be a section or two to help students determine whether something they have read is fact or fiction.  It is important for children to be able to determine what to believe and what not to believe. Some things in a child’s experiences affect their ability to determine the truth from something that is made up.  One thing that affects this ability is the source of the information received.  Customs in society sometimes influence a child’s ability to determine truth.  The extent to which a child’s vocabulary is developed also plays a part in this ability.

         Children are taught to believe their parents, teachers, and church workers.  Sometimes, these same people like to tease children and tell them things that are not true because the reaction may be fun to watch.  An example of this is when parents scare children with scary stories and don’t let the children know that they are simply made up.  Children tend to believe them because they believe their parents would not tell them something that is not true.  Other examples include the stories of Santa, the Easter bunny, and goblins at Halloween.  Parents need to be sure that the fun ends with the truth and not leave children wondering.  Children can simply be told that these are games that are played in our society; then, if desired, the pretend games can be continued.  Otherwise, when children find out the truth, they will wonder what other things they have been told that are not true.

         In recent years there has been a tendency to lead people to believe that truth varies from person to person. “What is true for you may not be true for me,” they say.  Certain facts, such as those in the Bible, never change.  The law of gravity does not change from person to person and neither do any of the other laws of God’s creation.  Although we do have differing talents and abilities, all should be honest and use integrity in dealing with others.  The Ten Commandments apply to all.  The Ten Commandments are summed up by loving God with all our hearts and loving our neighbors.  This truth will never change.

         There are many misunderstandings because children have not yet developed enough vocabulary to discern meanings of much conversation.  One of the best things parents can do to help in this area is to give varied experiences and encourage children to read and ask questions.  The spin used by many people comes across to children more from a tone of voice than words spoken.  If we were able to block out in our own minds the word meanings and just listen to the tone of voice and watch the body language used, we could easily be persuaded to believe certain things.  This is a little like what children do when they do not understand words being used.  Attitudes and ideas then come from impressions rather than facts.  When children express opinions derived from others in such a manner, a good question to ask is, “What facts did you use to form that opinion?”  

         When children are unable to discern fact from fiction, they grow up believing much that is not factual.  They have a difficult time making decisions for their own lives because they do not know how to consider facts in making those decisions.  If we, as adults, can help children develop a good vocabulary, always point out the truth to them, and guard against unfavorable influences in society, our children will be more able to determine fact from fiction.

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

       It is wonderful when parents can truly enjoy their children and want to make them happy.  It presents a challenge, however, to make children happy and at the same time prepare them for their future.  It seems that the idea has permeated our society that we all should be happy and having fun all the time, and that the only good parent is the parent who entertains children and protects them from hardships.  

         Just as a “hot-house” tomato has a difficult time adjusting to the challenges in nature when it is set out in a garden, so do children who have been sheltered from all rules and hardships have a difficult time adjusting to the real world.  Adults who work with children need to discover a balance between letting children be children and at the same time preparing them for a time when they are unprotected by adults.  Children must have guidelines and rules to live by and be required to abide by those rules for their own good.  They must be allowed to experience the consequences of the choices they make.  With a few exceptions such as birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. they must earn what they receive. 

         Children who have no guidelines are always insecure and uncertain as to what behavior is acceptable and what punishment they may receive for their behavior.  They are at loose ends with the world and often express their frustration by exhibiting unacceptable behavior.  By contrast, children who have rules and are required to abide by them, have a certainty in their minds that they are doing the right thing.  The stress of making decisions without necessary information is removed, and they are happier children.  Many well-intentioned parents think that letting their children do what they want to do is helping them.  Not true.  Children are not equipped to make many decisions by themselves and often make the wrong decisions and get in trouble for doing so.  It is much better to make sure they know what is right and wrong before they make the wrong decisions.  Important, also, is reinforcement of correct behavior.  When a child is told, “You did the right thing”, the child feels a real sense of relief and is inclined to repeat that behavior.

         It is hard for any parent or teacher to watch a child go through something unpleasant.  However, when we jump in and rescue the child from the consequences of his/her behavior, we become enablers.  When we enable a child to do wrong and get by with it, that child grows up thinking that whatever he/she desires is acceptable, and someone will bail him/her out of trouble.  It is through the natural punishment of consequences that children learn many lessons that we may never be able to teach in another way.

         When children are continually rewarded for doing what is normally required, they grow up thinking that they don’t have to act in acceptable ways unless rewarded for doing so.  A teacher friend of mine often said, “Virtue is its own reward”.  There are some things that we are supposed to do whether there is a reward or not.  One school in IL, where our daughter taught, rewarded children for doing their homework by taking them to McDonalds on Fridays.  This, in my opinion, is not a good way to use rewards.  Homework is something that children should do without getting a material reward. One NEA magazine had an article some time back about paying children to go to school.  Is it any wonder that we are living in an entitlement generation when this kind of thinking abounds?

         Ideally, parents should decide in their own minds how they want their children to “turn out” as to character traits and keep this goal in mind in everyday contact with their children.  We can’t just let our children always be happy-go-lucky without responsibilities and rules and expect them to someday display responsibilities without material rewards.

Learning Science can be Fun

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Learning Science can be Fun

         Parents are often hesitant to help children with homework for fear they will look dumb to their children or teach them something that is inconsistent with what the school is teaching. There is much that families can do to provide learning foundations for children at home as well as actually helping with assigned projects.  Helping children use the scientific method for problem solving helps develop logical thinking that carries over to produce success at school in science classes.

         One of the best things parents can do is to help children develop a curiosity for learning.  Taking children for walks and observing plants, rocks, animal tracks, and animals is interesting for both the children and the parents.  It is quality time spent to nurture curiosity for learning.  There are simple projects that are fun for children.  An acorn man can be made by using toothpicks and running them through the acorns making a body, legs, arms, and head.  It is fun to use an acorn that still has a “hat” on for the head.  A pen can be used to make facial features.  Laying paper over leaves and scribbling on it brings out the features of the leaves.  If a magnifying glass is available, children learn even more about the construction of things in nature and develop an eye for details.  It seems that many children love to collect rocks.  Using the Internet to look up information about different rocks is certainly a great learning project.

         As children ask questions, parents can ask questions in return.  As parents ask questions, children are forming a hypothesis about the subject.  Whenever possible, follow-up experiments can be conducted to see if the reason is true.  This is the scientific method of thinking.  In this simple way, children are learning a foundation for experimentation in science classes in high school and college.  It is good at this point to tell children the difference between a theory and a fact.  Until something is proven, it is simply a theory.  It is so very important that children understand this difference.  If children tend to believe theories, they can simply be asked, “Has that actually been proven?”  A child who has been taught that facts must be obtained to back up theories does not readily accept any idea that comes along.

         Science project assignments for children at home provide an opportunity for quality time spent with children.  However, some children are simply not able to do some of the things often required in home projects.  Teachers need to use care in making assignments.  When children are asked to do artistic type projects, it is a real temptation for parents to do it for the children if their child is not “picture smart”. Teachers would be wise to offer a choice of projects for children that include a variety of methods.  When the child chooses a preferred project, it is usually because he/she feels more capable of doing it.  The parents can then ask questions, provide information, and make suggestions, rather than doing the project.  

         It is so easy to help children with learning science.  It is fun to learn together and explore the wonderful world that God made.  Spending time with children in nature provides an excellent opportunity to point out the greatness of our heavenly Father. Those who don’t choose to do so, miss out on a wonderful and fun time with their children.

Helping Children with Math Homework

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Math Homework

         A common phrase heard by parents is, “I was never any good in math either”.  My late husband, a retired math teacher, said that you never hear parents say, “I was never any good in reading either”.  A parent’s attitude is transferred to children easily.  Undoubtedly, this attitude expressed about math influences a child and often causes the child to think that it is alright to be less proficient in math than in reading and “lets them off the hook” when it comes to doing math homework.  One of the best ways to help children with math homework is to have the right attitude about math itself.  In addition, parents need to be involved with the homework and need to provide opportunities for math usage to help children see its importance.

         Math is similar in one way to building a house.  You can’t put the walls up until the foundation is laid.  Often children miss out somewhere along the way in math and that affects the understanding of current assignments.  In such cases, the child simply needs to go back and find where he/she got off track and “fill in the chinks” in that foundation.    

         There are two reasons for learning math.  The first reason is obvious.  It is used in many, many aspects of life.  Adults should never say, “You’ll never use this.” This causes the child to think they don’t have to learn it.  The other reason for learning math is that it is a mental exercise that develops the thinking processes.  When children learn to do math, especially word problems, they are learning to consider all facts and are required to sort out what is needed and set priorities to solve the problem. These same procedures are used in all decision-making in real life. In this respect, all math is useful. It is interesting that at one time math was referred to as the math discipline.  That title is fitting as math truly disciplines the brain.

         Parents often shy away from becoming involved in math homework for fear they will do it wrong.  It is true that some different methods are being used in some schools, but often if the child is asked to explain the methods, the problem will be solved by the child during the explanation.  A good thing to do is to ask the child to tell you what he/she knows about a problem.  This helps the student break down the problem in parts.  It is not a good idea to try to teach children different methods until a child has mastered one method as it will cause confusion.  It is profitable to take the time to study the textbook to see what method is being taught rather than try to teach a child to solve the way we were taught.  

         When children hear parents comparing prices and noting how much money can be saved, they are being helped with math.  When children are restricted from impulse buying and required to compare prices, they are being helped with math.  When coupons are clipped and children are allowed to keep a portion of the savings, they are learning math.  When parents require children to learn multiplication tables, they are doing a very important action to help their children in math.

         In a workshop I attended, we were told that an unusual number of students nationwide are finding it necessary to take remedial math when they go to college.  There is a real concern about the low math achievement in this country. We can help not only our children with their math, but in doing so, we are helping our country.  

Children and Violence in the News

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthorcom

Train up a child…

 Children and Violence in the News

What do we tell our children about all the violence that is happening in our world?  Can we shield them from it?  Should we just ignore it?

Since the beginning of time, there has been a struggle between good and evil.  Children need to be told that God wants good for everyone.  Satan is the author of evil.  All people have to choose which they will follow.  No choice means that people just do what they feel like doing and that is usually bad.  It is the condition of the heart that determines our actions.  No law can make people be good on the inside.  Love cannot be legislated.  We hope our children will choose good, but as parents, we must teach them what is good and what is bad.

It is impossible to completely shield children from all bad news.  We may succeed in keeping part of it away from them, but as they grow older, they will hear more and more.  It takes wisdom to know the amount of information to give children.  Some children are able to handle more than others at certain ages.  The parent is in the best position to know what a child can process.  It is better to help a child with understanding rather than just leave it for the child to have to face alone in the future.  To ignore the bad news completely leaves a child wondering and often confused.

There is no doubt that our children have a great challenge in their future.  We need to do all we can to prepare them.  Nothing is better to prepare them than to give them a foundation of Scripture.  Parents can never go wrong in helping children memorize Scripture.  Taking them to church can go a long way in giving support for spiritual development.  Listening to their concerns and answering to the best of our ability is also important.  It is okay to say, “I don’t know.  Maybe we can figure it out together.”  

It is natural for children to ask why God lets bad people hurt others.  The answer is that God can do everything but one thing.  He created us so that we have the right to choose.  He cannot choose for us.  If He could, we would be like puppets.  He wants us to choose the good and not the bad.  He sees everything and it makes Him sad when people choose wrongly.  He gave us the Bible to tell us how to choose the right way.  He wants us to choose to love Him, not be forced to love Him.  He wants us to choose to love others.  If others were forced to love us, it would not seem like real love.  It is the same with God.  It is important to have a choice and to choose wisely.  

How to Talk so Kids can Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How to Talk so Kids Can Learn

         People do not like to be yelled at!  Children are people, too.  Children do not like to be yelled at!

         The way we talk to children greatly affects their learning.  Our tone and volume of voice is very important as we relate to the little ones.  We need to take the time, whenever possible, to explain and reason with children.  

         I have observed, over the years, that many parents constantly bark orders to children, often so rapidly that the children do not have time to mentally process one order before being given another. When this happens, children become resentful, confused, embarrassed, and often give up trying to obey. They may pout or act out in frustration.  They hurt inside because they feel that the one yelling at them does not love them.  It becomes even more confusing when, after barking orders to the children, a few minutes later that same parent may say, “I love you”.  This scenario gives an untrue example of love.  Love is patient. On the other hand, if we slow down, take time to let the child process instructions, and explain where needed, the child calms down, is more likely to obey, and senses love as shown through patience.  Sometimes a parent will get better results to simply go to the child, put an arm around that child, and whisper instructions slowly.

         Children can often understand more than we give them credit for if we take the time to give the explanations in words they understand.  We forget that they do not have the same vocabulary that we have.  They increase their vocabulary as we explain why we expect them to do certain things.  When they have the understanding, they are more apt to act appropriately on their own when parents are not around.  Many believe that if they just get their children in the habit of doing certain things that they will grow up and maintain those habits.  Habits only go so far.  Understanding of reasons for acting appropriately will extend the correct behavior.  There comes a time in a child’s life when that child begins to question what parents have told them.  If they have the basic understanding of the “whys”, they are more apt to stick with what they have been taught.

         The use of questions instead of statements is so very important in helping children reason out the “whys” of behavior.  Telling is not teaching!  When we ask questions, a child is forced to think. Following are some examples of common questions that can be asked in various situations:

  1. How would Johnny feel if you said that?
  2. If you did that, what would the children around you think?
  3. What could you say to make Suzie feel better?
  4. What will your teacher think if you do that?
  5. Are you sure that is the right thing to do?

These are just general questions to help a child think through his/her actions before deciding.  They also help to develop empathy and teach decision-making.

         Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish wrote a book titled, How to Talk so Kids Can Learn.  I highly recommend it. Although I do not agree with everything in the book, it certainly helps us rethink how we talk to children.

Why Some Kids “Act Out”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Why Some Kids “Act Out”

         Little tries the patience of adults more than having a child misbehave by throwing a tantrum or acting in unacceptable ways.  Often, the tendency is to treat the symptom of behavior rather than looking deeper to decide why the child is acting as he/she is and treating the reason for the behavior. There are many reasons a child misbehaves.  One reason children do so is that they simply haven’t been taught acceptable behavior.  Other children have found through experience that their actions get them what they want.  Still other children become frustrated about their present circumstances and act out because they don’t know another way to deal with the situation.

         It seems that some parents think that children will raise themselves.  They neglect teaching their children proper behavior and simply leave them to their own way of thinking about things.  These children are almost like little wild animals that have never been tamed.  They make decisions according to base wants for the moment with little regard for consequences of behavior.  If they feel like running, they run.  If they feel like shouting, they shout.  If they feel like tearing up something, they tear it up.  Actions are determined by feelings at the moment.  In such cases, teachers or others working with these children must teach them how to act along with the “whys” of correct behavior. Often, these children have been left so long that they will never catch up with where they should be in learning proper behavior.  In many cases, the parents themselves don’t know how to act acceptably even if they should decide to teach their children.

         Some children act out because they have experienced in the past that doing so will get them what they want.  These are the children whose parents give in to temper tantrums just to get the child to be quiet.  It is human nature to use tactics that work for our survival. Children learn that this is one tactic that works, so it is repeated.  A common example of this child is the one who throws a tantrum in a store while shopping to get something desired.  The parent, rather than tolerate the embarrassment, will get the item for the child.  The next time the child wants something, that child will throw another temper tantrum.  Parents need to stop giving in to the tantrums to change this child and instead respond only to positive behavior.

         Sometimes children find themselves in situations that they can’t handle. This could be a child who normally acts very nice, but suddenly there may be an outburst.  Children have not yet learned the “niceties” of talk to say no to something beyond their ability. In addition, as a child, they are taught to obey and not say no.  Parents and teachers sometimes “pigeonhole” a child into a situation that is scary or beyond the child’s competence.  In such cases, the child knows nothing better than to become frustrated and “lash out” at those around.  Not all children are of the nature to sit still for long periods of time in school.  Some children are designed to be active children and not the nice and quiet children we may want.  God designs us uniquely and that design does not always fit into the expectations of a parent or teacher. In such cases, parents and teachers need to assure the child that he/she is not expected to do something that the child can’t do. A different assignment may need to be given at the level of ability.

         There is no substitute for time spent with a child to learn what the child is thinking and feeling.  This knowledge helps us understand the child’s behavior and with many prayers for wisdom, parents and teachers can then address that behavior in a loving way.  

Dads Have Trying Times

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book: Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Dads have Trying Times

         Dads who are serious about raising good children will have trials from “cradle to grave”.  Here is one example of a trial our youngest son, Charles, experienced on Mother’s Day.

         Trying to be a good dad, Charles had taken his seven-yr.-old son, Garrett, to buy a present for his mom.  On Mother’s Day, he and Garrett got up early and happily got the gift, took it out of the box, and put it on the porch.  It was a storage unit for the lawn chair cushions.  Mom would really like this!  Garrett excitedly called for his mom to come and see her surprise.

         Garrett’s mom, Kelly, was hurrying around as usual and didn’t want to spoil the occasion by waiting until she could check the younger brother,  23-month old Spencer.  “I couldn’t have been away from him more than ten minutes,” she said.  I didn’t want to spoil the moment, but I kept thinking, “It’s too quiet upstairs.”  She excused herself as quickly as possible and ran upstairs to check on Spencer.  Spencer, who had not been invited to the fun time, had created some fun of his own.  She found him sitting in the bathroom floor splashing in water and having a great time!

         Spencer had been flushing one thing after another down the toilet.  Water was everywhere!  It had even run down into the master bedroom closet and ruined the sheetrock on the walls!  The rest of the day was spent trying to snake out the water line and clean up the mess.  A Dixie cup was found, and a toothbrush was never found.  Finally, it was decided that the toilet would have to be replaced.  A trip was made to town to buy a new toilet.  The new toilet was installed and the sheetrock was removed from the closet walls.  

         I couldn’t resist asking Charles, “Did you get mad at him?”  I was relieved to hear the answer, “Naw.  He’s just too little to understand what he did.”  

         Charles had worked 72 hours the week before at his job.  He had looked forward to a pleasant weekend at home.  This event was certainly a trial of his love for family, and I am happy to say that he came through just fine! I suggested that he would probably have many more such trials before the boys become adults and he assured me that he knew this to be true.

         Although this trial seems bad enough, truth is that as the children grow older, the kinds of trials may change to be heart-rending trials, not just trials that require physical stamina. 

         Hats off to all the dads this Father’s Day, who are surviving or have survived trials of many sorts, because of their love for their children.  May they reflect the love of our Heavenly Father in their daily lives as they are constantly being observed.

Son’s prayer:  Dear God, Make me just like my daddy.

Dad’s prayer:  Dear God, Make me the man my son thinks I am.  

Children Learn from the Past

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and patlambchristiansauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Children Learn from the Past

         Memorial Day is not just for adults.  Children can gain much benefit from participating in Memorial Day traditions.  The holiday provides a wonderful opportunity for parents to tell stories of family history as well as explaining some of the past wars that have been fought for our freedom.  The ritual of decorating graves brings a reality that life on this earth has an ending, and we need to make good use of the time we have here.

         Children can gain a sense of pride from learning of accomplishments of past ancestors.  As they hear stories from parents of the good accomplishments and heroic deeds of relatives, a feeling of “I want to do something heroic, too” is instilled in children.  They gain a higher purpose in life and do not concentrate so much on self pleasure.  Stories of “black sheep” in the family should also be told as examples of what not to become. Children are quite often surprised to hear of both good and bad examples in the family background.  Their lives are greatly influenced by these stories that can come only from the family.

         Memorial Day is a time to remember not only family members who have passed away, but it is also a time to remember those who have fought for our country.  Children should hear this at least every year.  Even if the stories have been told before, they should be told again.  Hearing such stories brings a sense of reality to life that is often lacking in today’s children.  It also instills a sense of appreciation for our country and the freedom we still enjoy.  A walk through many cemeteries in the Ozarks will reveal the small Civil War gravestones of so many who fought in that war.  Just the walk, itself, is a good history lesson for children.

         If decorations are being taken to the graves of past loved ones, let the children hold the decorations and put them in place.  Doing so brings home the reality of death.  Although this may sound a bit gruesome, children need to learn that death is a part of life.  Some people opt to give donations to charities in memory of loved ones rather than spend the money on flowers. In such a case, include the children in the planning process and let them help in any way possible even to the point of using some of their own money.

         A good way to cap off the day’s activities is to have a family picnic or some other family activity.  There will probably be time for games.  At this time of year, outdoor games can be played with the children to make the day a pleasant memory for them.  Nothing makes a child happier than to play games with parents.  They think it is really funny to watch parents run and play. It is especially fun if they can beat their parents in a game.

         Memorial Day can be a day to remember the past, have meaningful fun in the present, and help children be better adults for the experience in the future.