Tag Archives: raising kids

Giving Should be from the Heart

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Giving Should be from the Heart

         When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation several years ago, at one time we had a principal of our school who was one of the last survivors of the Mandan Indian tribe.  On one occasion, his cousin came to visit him and gave him an air-conditioning unit for his car.  Mr. Bearghost, our principal, in turn gave his cousin his favorite rifle.  He explained to us that the custom of the Mandan tribe had always been to give as a gift to someone else the thing that meant the most to self.  In keeping with this custom, when a man went deer hunting, the first deer killed was to be given away to someone else.  The hunter could keep only the second deer killed.

         “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” is a difficult lesson to teach children.  It is something we adults often forget ourselves.  However, it really is true.  Some of the best memories of Christmas are those of pleasing someone else with a gift.  

         True love means giving up the wants and wishes of self for the benefit of others.  The purpose of giving gifts at Christmas is to show love for others. It follows then, that to truly show love for others, we need to sacrifice the wants of self.

         We should not go in debt to give gifts.  By doing so, we are not really giving the gift, but the gift is being given by the one providing the money.  A gift should come from our own means. When we give money to children to buy gifts, it is really the person who gave the money who is buying the gift.  Children should examine their own means and abilities to see what they can give.  

         One of the best gifts that can be given is time.  How wonderful it is when our grown children now come to visit  me and they look around the house to see what needs to be done that is difficult for me to do.  Every time they visit and leave, they have left the place in better shape than when they came.  Small children, too, can learn that obeying and helping with chores can be a good gift for parents and others.

         At a missions conference I attended, we were told that people in another country were praying for America because we had become too materialistic.  Christmas is a time when we have a special opportunity to choose whether to put emphasis on materialism or to teach children that material things are not lasting and that there are more important things in life.  At the current time, as we look at pictures on TV of homes burned in California and other places, we see a visual lesson of how material things do not last.  In recent years and months, we have seen over and over belongings of people destroyed in floods, hurricanes, fires, ice storms, earthquakes, or tornados.  These happenings should serve as a reminder to us that there are more important things in life than material possessions.

         This Christmas season may we truly put emphasis on love of family and others instead of just accumulating “things”.

It Really is the Thought that Counts

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor,com

Train up a child…

It Really is the Thought that Counts

         A lot of joking takes place at Christmas and birthdays when gifts don’t seem to match up with the recipients.  There are those who think that if you spend a lot of money, the gift should be appreciated. Some folks like handmade gifts; others think it is a sign that the giver has more time than money.  Some people fret and fret and still cannot come up with a gift that they feel comfortable in giving to someone. Then, thankfully, there are those who just seem to have a knack for gift-giving and always seem to come up with just the perfect gift.  

         I wonder if the secret to knowing the perfect gift for someone is knowing someone perfectly well.  The better we know someone, the better we know their likes and dislikes.  When we wait until the last minute and feel that we simply must find a gift, usually neither the giver nor the recipient enjoys the choice. In fact, there are those wonderful, efficient people who are alert to appropriate Christmas gifts all year long, picking up things they know someone would like when they happen to see them or making things ahead of time for those they love.

         I’m glad there are still those folks who enjoy handmade gifts.  They are getting scarce as time to make them becomes more and more limited.  I’ve always felt that someone must care for another very much to go to all the trouble to make something. Counted cross stitch, embroidery work, handmade pieces of furniture, crocheted or knitted work, and other handmade items are really priceless.  

         In the movie, “Christmas in Canaan”, on the Hallmark channel a unique idea was given.  I had never heard the idea that was presented there.  The father wrapped up pictures from catalogs of items he wished he had money to buy for the family members.  In the story plot, the crops had been bad and money was scarce.  The family remembered that special Christmas in the years to come and treasured the love shown by a father who truly wished he could do more.  The story was another reminder that Christmas is love, not things.

         It is so very noble when people ask that gifts not be given to them, but rather the money for those gifts be used to meet the needs of others. There are needy families who can really use some help.  On the other hand, there are those folks who have so much that it is hard to think of anything they don’t already have to give to them.  It is amusing to look through some catalogs and see some of the unusual creations that are there to lure people to spend money.  

         When we give to others from the heart, it is like giving to Jesus.  After all, it really is his birthday, not ours.  We need to teach our children to give from the heart by setting the right example for them.  Children need to understand that we give to others to show our love for them.  Emphasis needs to be put on what would make the other person happy.  We can help children avoid selfishness when we teach them that gifts should be given with a great deal of thought and love.  

A Thanksgiving Story

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Thanksgiving Story

            Here is a story you can share about Thanksgiving. Reading or telling this story will help children appreciate what others have gone through in the past and how it affects us now.

Why is This Happening to Me?

            About four hundred years ago, there were some Indian tribes who lived in what is now Massachusetts.  White people did not yet live in this country, but some had been here exploring new lands. One time a ship carrying white men came to explore the coast.  They were fascinated with the Indians.  They decided to capture some and take them back to England to show people there what Indians looked like. A young man named Squanto was one of the Indian boys captured.

            While in England, the men decided to teach the Indian boys they captured to speak English. When Squanto had learned enough English, they took him back with them to what is now our country to use him as an interpreter and a guide as they continued exploring.

            While Squanto was back here in what is now America, he was tricked by some other white men and taken to Spain to be sold as a slave. Some monks bought him and he lived with them for a time and learned about the “white man’s God”.  After living at the monastery for some time, someone took him back to England and from there he was taken to America to be used as an interpreter and guide once again.

            On this final trip back to our country, he did such a good job as interpreter and guide, that those who were exploring decided to let Squanto return to his tribe.  When he arrived at the place where his tribe lived, he found that his whole tribe had died of a disease, and he was the only Patuxet Indian left!

            Squanto moved in with another tribe of Indian people whose chief was named Samoset.  It was a short time later that the pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock. The pilgrims had prayed and prayed about going some place where they could have freedom to worship God as they felt they should.  They had asked God to watch over them and care for them.  Imagine how surprised they were when they arrived and met Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English!

            Squanto moved to the village that the pilgrims started.  He lived with the pilgrims and taught them to hunt, plant, fish, and make treaties with other tribes of Indians so they could live peacefully together. The winters were very harsh and many of the pilgrims died during the first year.  They did not have medicines then like we have now, and their food was scarce.  Some people starved to death. 

            Squanto died in 1622.  He asked Governor Bradford to pray for him that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven.

            Had it not been for Squanto, it’s possible that none of the pilgrims would have survived.  He played a very important part in our country’s history.

            After telling the story, discuss it with those present.  Here are some questions that may be used for discussion:

  • How do you think Squanto and the other boys felt when they were captured?
  • Do you think it was easy for Squanto to learn English?
  • Do you think Squanto ever said to himself, “Why is this happening to me?”
  • What would have probably happened to Squanto if he had not been captured?
  • What do you think the pilgrims were thinking when they arrived and found Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English?
  • Do you think God worked in Squanto’s life for a purpose?
  • Do you think God has a purpose for your life?

Give Your Children the Best Gift

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Give your Children the Best Gift

         What is the best gift you can give your children?  Many experts agree that the best thing that parents and grandparents can give children is their time.  Yet, as the holiday season approaches, we find ourselves wanting more time, and we find it more difficult to give the time to children that they need.  

         How can we give more time to children, and what are the benefits of doing so?

         One of the easiest ways to give more time to children is to include them in the activities we do.  The benefits of giving more time are many.  Three of those benefits are bonding, learning more about our children, and giving the children a feeling of worth.

         As we include children in activities, they relax and open up in more ways than they normally would.  Children most often say and do the things that they know their parents expect of them.  This prevents adults from knowing what they are really thinking and feeling.  When they relax in activities, they drop their guard and we find out more about them.  We are often surprised to find that our children may be thinking and feeling something entirely different from what we had thought.  This gives us clues as to their needs in guidance as they grow.

         As children assist in activities such as decorating, baking, making gifts, shopping, or other holiday happenings, they bond with adults in achieving the common goal of making others happy. While doing so, they can discuss how they think the recipient will respond, and they feel happy about achieving something good with their parents.  Little faces light up in anticipation of the happiness they are creating, and a special closeness is achieved as feelings of accomplishment are shared.

         When parents take time to include children in activities, the children feel that their parents think their ideas are valuable.  They develop a feeling of worth because mom or dad wanted them to help. The opposite is true when they are pushed aside.  Children then feel that their ideas and help are not wanted or needed.  They look to find their own activities aside from parents.  Children have an inner desire to feel that they are valuable to someone.  No toy or game purchased for a child can make up for that feeling.

         It is not difficult to include children in activities.  The key is to find something within the child’s ability.  There is always something they can do if it is no more than holding a finger on the ribbon while a bow is being tied.  For Thanksgiving Dinner, children can help set the table and participate in ways to help in preparation of food.  The quality of the dish is not as important as the quality of child we are raising.  

         There is nothing we can buy or do for our children that is any more important than spending time with them. 

Seven Words that Could Change the World

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…

Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Seven Words that could Change the World

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in the world had good manners and an attitude of humility? There are seven words that could create a humble, repentant, and thankful attitude.  They are words that every child should learn to use intuitively.  They are words that would do away with rudeness and self-centeredness.  They are “excuse me,” “I’m sorry,” “please,” and “thank you”.  

         To say “excuse me” and “I’m sorry” in a meaningful way requires an attitude of repentance.  It requires an individual to put the other person’s feelings before one’s own feelings.  It also creates within a child an attitude of caution in the use of words or actions that may be offensive to another.  It requires giving up one’s own desires for the benefit of those in the immediate vicinity.  

         The word “please”, when said in a meaningful way, requires an attitude of humility.  Rather than feeling above a person to demand something for self, an individual must lower self to a position of “if you think I am worthy, I request a favor of you.”  The very act is a demonstration that the person saying the word considers him/herself in a lower position than the person to whom the request is being given. It is a “magic word” that causes the person being addressed to be more apt to give the favor than if it were demanded.

         Obviously, the words “thank you” express appreciation when said in a meaningful way.  As we observe children who are required to say these two words, we often see them pause just a bit before they are spoken.  In this time of pause, a child is forced to realize that something is owed to the person doing the favor.  As the child realizes this fact, he/she also realizes, although perhaps unaware of it, that their enjoyment of the favor is dependant on the other person.  In this respect, humility is fostered in the same way that saying “please” fosters humility. 

         It is so easy to teach children to say these seven words, yet parents often forget to do so.  If all children were taught to say them, they would grow up with better attitudes and everyone would get along with each other.  People who are humble do not put themselves above others.  People who appreciate what they get are not people who demand more and more of others.  People who appreciate what they have are not constantly trying to get more at the expense of others.  People who are humble do not put others down.

         Using the seven words named are simply a matter of good manners.  We know that the basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others.  It is such a simple and easy thing to teach children to use these words and mean them.  Wouldn’t it be nice if parents, teachers, grandparents, and other adults in positions of influence would help to change our world by doing so?  

Fact or Fiction

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Fact or Fiction?

         Occasionally, in school textbooks, there will be a section or two to help students determine whether something they have read is fact or fiction.  It is important for children to be able to determine what to believe and what not to believe. Some things in a child’s experiences affect their ability to determine the truth from something that is made up.  One thing that affects this ability is the source of the information received.  Customs in society sometimes influence a child’s ability to determine truth.  The extent to which a child’s vocabulary is developed also plays a part in this ability.

         Children are taught to believe their parents, teachers, and church workers.  Sometimes, these same people like to tease children and tell them things that are not true because the reaction may be fun to watch.  An example of this is when parents scare children with scary stories and don’t let the children know that they are simply made up.  Children tend to believe them because they believe their parents would not tell them something that is not true.  Other examples include the stories of Santa, the Easter bunny, and goblins at Halloween.  Parents need to be sure that the fun ends with the truth and not leave children wondering.  Children can simply be told that these are games that are played in our society; then, if desired, the pretend games can be continued.  Otherwise, when children find out the truth, they will wonder what other things they have been told that are not true.

         In recent years there has been a tendency to lead people to believe that truth varies from person to person. “What is true for you may not be true for me,” they say.  Certain facts, such as those in the Bible, never change.  The law of gravity does not change from person to person and neither do any of the other laws of God’s creation.  Although we do have differing talents and abilities, all should be honest and use integrity in dealing with others.  The Ten Commandments apply to all.  The Ten Commandments are summed up by loving God with all our hearts and loving our neighbors.  This truth will never change.

         There are many misunderstandings because children have not yet developed enough vocabulary to discern meanings of much conversation.  One of the best things parents can do to help in this area is to give varied experiences and encourage children to read and ask questions.  The spin used by many people comes across to children more from a tone of voice than words spoken.  If we were able to block out in our own minds the word meanings and just listen to the tone of voice and watch the body language used, we could easily be persuaded to believe certain things.  This is a little like what children do when they do not understand words being used.  Attitudes and ideas then come from impressions rather than facts.  When children express opinions derived from others in such a manner, a good question to ask is, “What facts did you use to form that opinion?”  

         When children are unable to discern fact from fiction, they grow up believing much that is not factual.  They have a difficult time making decisions for their own lives because they do not know how to consider facts in making those decisions.  If we, as adults, can help children develop a good vocabulary, always point out the truth to them, and guard against unfavorable influences in society, our children will be more able to determine fact from fiction.

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

       It is wonderful when parents can truly enjoy their children and want to make them happy.  It presents a challenge, however, to make children happy and at the same time prepare them for their future.  It seems that the idea has permeated our society that we all should be happy and having fun all the time, and that the only good parent is the parent who entertains children and protects them from hardships.  

         Just as a “hot-house” tomato has a difficult time adjusting to the challenges in nature when it is set out in a garden, so do children who have been sheltered from all rules and hardships have a difficult time adjusting to the real world.  Adults who work with children need to discover a balance between letting children be children and at the same time preparing them for a time when they are unprotected by adults.  Children must have guidelines and rules to live by and be required to abide by those rules for their own good.  They must be allowed to experience the consequences of the choices they make.  With a few exceptions such as birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. they must earn what they receive. 

         Children who have no guidelines are always insecure and uncertain as to what behavior is acceptable and what punishment they may receive for their behavior.  They are at loose ends with the world and often express their frustration by exhibiting unacceptable behavior.  By contrast, children who have rules and are required to abide by them, have a certainty in their minds that they are doing the right thing.  The stress of making decisions without necessary information is removed, and they are happier children.  Many well-intentioned parents think that letting their children do what they want to do is helping them.  Not true.  Children are not equipped to make many decisions by themselves and often make the wrong decisions and get in trouble for doing so.  It is much better to make sure they know what is right and wrong before they make the wrong decisions.  Important, also, is reinforcement of correct behavior.  When a child is told, “You did the right thing”, the child feels a real sense of relief and is inclined to repeat that behavior.

         It is hard for any parent or teacher to watch a child go through something unpleasant.  However, when we jump in and rescue the child from the consequences of his/her behavior, we become enablers.  When we enable a child to do wrong and get by with it, that child grows up thinking that whatever he/she desires is acceptable, and someone will bail him/her out of trouble.  It is through the natural punishment of consequences that children learn many lessons that we may never be able to teach in another way.

         When children are continually rewarded for doing what is normally required, they grow up thinking that they don’t have to act in acceptable ways unless rewarded for doing so.  A teacher friend of mine often said, “Virtue is its own reward”.  There are some things that we are supposed to do whether there is a reward or not.  One school in IL, where our daughter taught, rewarded children for doing their homework by taking them to McDonalds on Fridays.  This, in my opinion, is not a good way to use rewards.  Homework is something that children should do without getting a material reward. One NEA magazine had an article some time back about paying children to go to school.  Is it any wonder that we are living in an entitlement generation when this kind of thinking abounds?

         Ideally, parents should decide in their own minds how they want their children to “turn out” as to character traits and keep this goal in mind in everyday contact with their children.  We can’t just let our children always be happy-go-lucky without responsibilities and rules and expect them to someday display responsibilities without material rewards.

Learning Science can be Fun

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Learning Science can be Fun

         Parents are often hesitant to help children with homework for fear they will look dumb to their children or teach them something that is inconsistent with what the school is teaching. There is much that families can do to provide learning foundations for children at home as well as actually helping with assigned projects.  Helping children use the scientific method for problem solving helps develop logical thinking that carries over to produce success at school in science classes.

         One of the best things parents can do is to help children develop a curiosity for learning.  Taking children for walks and observing plants, rocks, animal tracks, and animals is interesting for both the children and the parents.  It is quality time spent to nurture curiosity for learning.  There are simple projects that are fun for children.  An acorn man can be made by using toothpicks and running them through the acorns making a body, legs, arms, and head.  It is fun to use an acorn that still has a “hat” on for the head.  A pen can be used to make facial features.  Laying paper over leaves and scribbling on it brings out the features of the leaves.  If a magnifying glass is available, children learn even more about the construction of things in nature and develop an eye for details.  It seems that many children love to collect rocks.  Using the Internet to look up information about different rocks is certainly a great learning project.

         As children ask questions, parents can ask questions in return.  As parents ask questions, children are forming a hypothesis about the subject.  Whenever possible, follow-up experiments can be conducted to see if the reason is true.  This is the scientific method of thinking.  In this simple way, children are learning a foundation for experimentation in science classes in high school and college.  It is good at this point to tell children the difference between a theory and a fact.  Until something is proven, it is simply a theory.  It is so very important that children understand this difference.  If children tend to believe theories, they can simply be asked, “Has that actually been proven?”  A child who has been taught that facts must be obtained to back up theories does not readily accept any idea that comes along.

         Science project assignments for children at home provide an opportunity for quality time spent with children.  However, some children are simply not able to do some of the things often required in home projects.  Teachers need to use care in making assignments.  When children are asked to do artistic type projects, it is a real temptation for parents to do it for the children if their child is not “picture smart”. Teachers would be wise to offer a choice of projects for children that include a variety of methods.  When the child chooses a preferred project, it is usually because he/she feels more capable of doing it.  The parents can then ask questions, provide information, and make suggestions, rather than doing the project.  

         It is so easy to help children with learning science.  It is fun to learn together and explore the wonderful world that God made.  Spending time with children in nature provides an excellent opportunity to point out the greatness of our heavenly Father. Those who don’t choose to do so, miss out on a wonderful and fun time with their children.

Helping Children with Math Homework

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Math Homework

         A common phrase heard by parents is, “I was never any good in math either”.  My late husband, a retired math teacher, said that you never hear parents say, “I was never any good in reading either”.  A parent’s attitude is transferred to children easily.  Undoubtedly, this attitude expressed about math influences a child and often causes the child to think that it is alright to be less proficient in math than in reading and “lets them off the hook” when it comes to doing math homework.  One of the best ways to help children with math homework is to have the right attitude about math itself.  In addition, parents need to be involved with the homework and need to provide opportunities for math usage to help children see its importance.

         Math is similar in one way to building a house.  You can’t put the walls up until the foundation is laid.  Often children miss out somewhere along the way in math and that affects the understanding of current assignments.  In such cases, the child simply needs to go back and find where he/she got off track and “fill in the chinks” in that foundation.    

         There are two reasons for learning math.  The first reason is obvious.  It is used in many, many aspects of life.  Adults should never say, “You’ll never use this.” This causes the child to think they don’t have to learn it.  The other reason for learning math is that it is a mental exercise that develops the thinking processes.  When children learn to do math, especially word problems, they are learning to consider all facts and are required to sort out what is needed and set priorities to solve the problem. These same procedures are used in all decision-making in real life. In this respect, all math is useful. It is interesting that at one time math was referred to as the math discipline.  That title is fitting as math truly disciplines the brain.

         Parents often shy away from becoming involved in math homework for fear they will do it wrong.  It is true that some different methods are being used in some schools, but often if the child is asked to explain the methods, the problem will be solved by the child during the explanation.  A good thing to do is to ask the child to tell you what he/she knows about a problem.  This helps the student break down the problem in parts.  It is not a good idea to try to teach children different methods until a child has mastered one method as it will cause confusion.  It is profitable to take the time to study the textbook to see what method is being taught rather than try to teach a child to solve the way we were taught.  

         When children hear parents comparing prices and noting how much money can be saved, they are being helped with math.  When children are restricted from impulse buying and required to compare prices, they are being helped with math.  When coupons are clipped and children are allowed to keep a portion of the savings, they are learning math.  When parents require children to learn multiplication tables, they are doing a very important action to help their children in math.

         In a workshop I attended, we were told that an unusual number of students nationwide are finding it necessary to take remedial math when they go to college.  There is a real concern about the low math achievement in this country. We can help not only our children with their math, but in doing so, we are helping our country.  

Helping Children with Writing

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Writing

         The three r’s, reading, ‘riting’, and ‘rithmetic’, are still the most important subjects in school because everything else is based on these three things.  There are innumerable complaints that children are not learning these things as they should. Help from parents is definitely needed to make sure that children learn these basics.

         Parents can help their children learn to be good writers in a number of ways.  “Practice makes perfect” certainly applies to writing.  Practice helps with both the mechanical aspects of learning to make the letters and the mental organizing and creating of subject matter.

         Very young children who have toys requiring the use of motor skills in the hands are more apt to learn to print well using sticks and circles to make the letters of the alphabet.  Making dots for children in the shapes of the letters provides a guide to follow.  Cursive writing is not given a great deal of emphasis in today’s educational process since it is not used as much as in the past.  After all, most job applications say, “Please print,” and computers are available for composing letters and stories.  Although it is nice to know cursive writing, limited time in school demands that teachers emphasize subjects that are very practical. At one time, cursive writing was necessary for taking notes in college classes, but now students can record a lecture or download necessary information on their computers.

         When older children are required to write essays, a good way to tell them to organize the essay is the “five finger rule”.  One finger is for the introduction where three points are named.  The next finger is for a new paragraph to talk about the first item named.  The next finger represents the next paragraph to talk about the second thing and the next finger represents another paragraph to talk about the third thing.  The last finger is to summarize the essay by restating what was said in the first paragraph.  This five paragraph essay is taught to GED students to write an essay for passing the GED test. The format works in most cases and can also be used as an outline for making a speech. It is helpful to have a child draw around his/her hand on a piece of paper and label the five fingers for the five paragraphs. 

         Many students have trouble in knowing what to say when they write.  Questions help a child to expand thinking.  Taking the time to discuss a topic with a child helps give ideas.  A background of various experiences is always a big help in providing material for writing.  The Internet is a gold mine of information. 

         Reading, writing, and speaking form what educators call the language triangle.  As a child improves in any one of the three, the other two are also enhanced.  Children need to do a lot of reading and a great deal of writing.  Unfortunately, many inventions are harmful as well as helpful. Since the copy machine was invented, children often just fill in blanks to answer a question. Good writing should be required at home and in all classes at school, not just the communications class.  If a child is allowed to get by with sloppy writing in math, science, social studies, and health classes, the one class in language is not likely to succeed in teaching good writing skills.  Consistency is important. Parents would be wise to see that their children are doing plenty of writing and doing it well.