Tag Archives: Raising children

How Does A Mom Gain Respect?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

How Does a Mom Gain Respect?

         Have you noticed how some children really seem to respect their moms while others don’t?  What makes the difference?  Although children should be taught to respect their parents no matter what the circumstances, there are some things a mom can do to make it easier for a child to fulfill this requirement.  Moms who are always firm, live good clean lives as examples to their children, and are willing to sacrifice their own comforts and desires usually have the respect of their children.

         Sadly, some parents are afraid to be firm for fear that their children will get mad at them and not like them.  Mothers who do this will surprisingly find a lack of respect.  I observed an example of this when I taught kindergarten. A mother brought her son to class every morning and they were almost always late.  She would beg her son to come on into the room.  On one occasion I heard her tell the little boy that if he would go on into the room that she would give him a candy bar that she had in her hand.  Finally, after much pleading, the little boy took the candy bar and came on into the room.  When Mother’s Day was approaching, I had a group time with the children and talked to them about how they should love their mothers and what they could do for their mothers to show it.  The same little boy defiantly said, “I hate my mother!”  I was shocked, but it reinforced my understanding that you don’t gain respect without firmness to require a child to do what should be done.

         When moms are firm about certain things, they must “practice what they preach” and set a good example.  Children do not respect anyone who tells them not to do something and then they, themselves, go ahead and do those things. Children immediately catch on to our weaknesses.  They see weaknesses as disgusting, especially when they have been told to be strong and resist the same temptations.  “Do as I say and not as I do” simply does not work with children.  They learn more by example than by what they are told.  Moms should set the example of respecting their own parents, respecting God and his commands, as well as respecting the country and its laws.  

         If moms expect children to do more than they are willing to do, they are fooling themselves.  Moms can gain respect of their sons and daughters when they are willing to sacrifice for the good of the family.  I still have a visual image in my mind of my mom’s cracked and bleeding hands from milking cows with my dad every night and morning.  How I respect her for that! When she sold her eggs each week and bought shoes for my sisters and me instead of pretty things for herself, she gained the respect of each of us.  Self-sacrifice speaks love loud and clear and it certainly gains respect.

         Mother’s Day is somewhat of a test of the mother.  Will her children respect her enough to make an effort to show that respect to her?  Of course, it is also a test of dad.  Has dad taught the children to show respect to their mom? Has dad shown proper respect to mom as an example? Actions speak louder than words.  It is not the expensive gift that really counts, but rather the actions of the children in showing proper respect to their mothers.  Have we done all we can to gain that respect?  

Do You Have a Gifted Child?

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by Pat Lamb Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Do You Have a Gifted Child?

         Do you sometimes weary of hearing parents and grandparents talk about how smart a child is?  Then, they continue to tell of some of the many marvelous things that child can do such as read or count at a younger age than other children, say extremely intelligent things, or memorize quickly. As we listen, we know very well that the child may or may not be gifted academically, but it seems to be a common dream of most adults to have a “really smart child”.

         It is true that there are children who are gifted intellectually and can think quickly and reason easily.  It would seem that most of us think of a gifted child as being gifted in the intellectual field only.

         In truth, every child is gifted in one area or another.  It is too bad that we often don’t seem to recognize gifts other than the ones that make a child look really smart.  Every child is born with certain hereditary tendencies or preferences.  These special interests are the hereditary gifts of the child given by God. After the child makes its appearance into the world, it may or may not be gifted with loving and caring parents to nurture and appreciate the hereditary abilities.

         Some children are born with gifted ability in math.  Some are born with gifted ability with words, pictures, body usage (such as sports), social skills, introspective skills, and music skills.  The world needs all of these abilities.  To say that the intellectual ability is the most important is to not understand the importance of the other gifts. The math and word skills are the skills identified with the intellect, but in God’s eyes, each person is of equal value and He loves each person equally. Should we adults not do the same?

         While children are born with three or four of the gifts named, unfortunately they are not always born with the gift of a parent’s love.  Every parent can give the gift of love that includes patience and understanding of a child. One reason parents do not give that gift of love is that the parent may value one of the hereditary gifts more than another. To value one gift over another in children can be very damaging.  It can lead to preferring one child over another.  We tend to favor those who have the same gifts that we have. This should not be so. Adults need to recognize the value of all of the gifts. Instead of encouraging a child, some parents harangue a child for not living up to that parent’s expectations.  We need to recognize that there is a plan for each person’s life and it may not necessarily be the plan we have for that life.

         A truly gifted child is the child who recognizes his/her abilities, whatever they may be, and has parents who also recognize and appreciate the way the child was created. The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God.  God gifts the parents with the child and He gifts the child with certain abilities.  His plan is to gift the child also with parents who are thankful for the child that was given to them. Every parent has a gifted child from God.  Parents need to further gift that child with their love.

Children Can Learn Good Manners

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 One might wonder if everyone has given up on teaching children good manners. In most casual conversations, it is common to hear, “Oh, that’s the way kids are nowadays!”  This is usually said in a tone of resignation as though there is nothing that can be done about it. Not true!

         Children can be taught good manners if we work at it and refuse to accept the status quo of behavior.  We must not permit bad manners.  We need to set an example of using good manners.  We need to condemn the use of bad manners in society.

         Are we too tired to take the trouble to correct children?  Do we give up and think it is hopeless to teach children when seemingly everyone around is using bad manners?  Most of us would agree that better manners are needed not only by children, but good manners are needed by adults in today’s society as well.  

         The basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others. At any point where we see a child being inconsiderate of another person, that child should be stopped.  Questions stimulate thinking.  A good question to ask such a child is, “How would you feel if someone did or said that to you?”  Most children will not think about the feelings of others unless they are taught to do so by such questions.  Also, children should be required to apologize when they have been inconsiderate of others.  Some children who may continue to hurt others should be turned over a parent’s knee and given a good hard spanking. Since teachers are not allowed to do as much discipline as in past days, it is left up to the parents to do the spanking. We must be consistent in our expectations and punishment.  If we tell a child not to do something, we should not let the child get by with doing it even one time.  Every time a child is allowed to get by with something he/she has been told not to do, that child thinks that the adult did not mean what was said and continues the action.

         It is not surprising that so many children seem to have bad manners considering the example that they constantly see in adults around them.  We are living in a society that seems to have forgotten about good manners.  In our homes, we get so busy that good manners are pushed aside to hurry and get something done.  Adults often interrupt when others are talking.  On TV the sitcoms seem to try to outdo each other in the amount of rudeness that is portrayed to bring laughs.  Our politicians do not set a good example in conversation.  Protestors often demonstrate more bad manners than they demonstrate the need for a cause.  We need to set an example at home and in society of kindness and consideration of others.

         It would be nice if all children could quickly recite the golden rule.  “Do to others as you would have others do to you” is certainly a wonderful rule to live by.  Perhaps we should post it in every home and classroom and require the children to recite it often. Not until we take action will children develop good manners, but they can learn to behave in pleasing ways.

Motivating Children to Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Motivating Children to Learn

            We’ve come a long way in education from the days when my dad would walk to school barefoot and have children laugh at him and spit on his feet.  He, as well as many other children of his day, endured such things because they wanted an education so desperately.  We’ve all heard the story of how Abraham Lincoln used charcoal to write and studied in the light from the fire in his cabin.  There was no talk of how to motivate children to learn at that time. Rather, the concern was for how to give children the opportunity to satisfy their longing to learn.

            Understanding the reason those of the past wanted to learn so badly helps us understand why children have the problem being motivated to learn now.  Was it not that those individuals of the past wanted to better their often miserable lives?  They had hope that an education would help them gain things that would make life easier.  Contrast that motivating factor to today’s children who already have things pretty easy in most cases and have no hope to make life any better.  In the film “The Student”, Rodney Dangerfield had one word of advice to those who were graduating and getting ready to face the world on their own.  That word was “don’t”.  He said, “Stay at home with your mom and dad”.  That pretty much sums up how the younger generation feels about their future.  The children are feeling pretty comfortable where they are.  In addition, if they are not comfortable, they are pretty sure someone will jump in and rescue them, so why worry about their future?

            Knowing the reasons for lack of motivation forms the basis for choosing what to do to correct today’s problem.  First of all, children must understand a need for learning.  They must also develop an appreciation for the opportunity to learn. Both of these needs require straight talk giving information that many of our children have not been given.  

            In a well-meaning effort to shield our children of worry and to ensure they have a happy childhood, we have robbed them of a facet of education they sorely need.  They need to know that there is a good chance that they may not always have life so comfortable unless they prepare themselves well.  They need to be informed of enough current events and the situation of our country to understand that the future is not all that bright for them.  They need to be a little frightened.  Small children do not need the “full dose” of our country’s situation, but they need to know enough to sense the importance of being prepared for their future.  As they grow older, they need to obtain added information.

            The development of appreciation for their opportunity to learn can be difficult. Most appreciation, however, comes from the home.  Parents need to make efforts to be friendly and appreciative to a child’s teacher to set a good example.  It doesn’t hurt for the child to know how schools were in the past and what people went through to get an education. It is a good thing for them to contrast the past with the present.  It is human nature to want the things we can’t have and to not want the things that are forced on us.  A “what if” scenario is helpful to enlighten children about what the future holds. “What if you couldn’t go to school and learn?” is a good question to ask to help children appreciate what they have. Actually, the Covid virus fear has caused some children to experience not being able to go to school.  However, I’m not sure if many actually miss the learning or if most simply want to be back with friends.  At least, it is causing some to have to consider what life would be like without school.  

            Children need to know what their education costs.  Putting a price tag on each item in a classroom is an eye-opener for most.  Simply being told the amount of money it costs per student per year also enlightens.  Having a real person tell what was paid from his/her income for the school in taxes the previous year is helpful.  Children need to know these things. Teachers could give each child “play money” and require them to “pay” for the items being used in class.

            Most teachers, parents, and church workers like to use what are actually bribes in some cases to try to motivate.  These are temporary stop-gap measures at best.  Candy, pizza, field trips, and prizes are a few of the bribes or rewards frequently used.  There is a place for some of these to help make learning more pleasant.  We must realize, however, that if these kinds of rewards are done extensively, by the time a child gets to upper grades, they no longer are special.  In an effort to have more and more excitement, the student may turn to drugs or other things in order to get self pleasure.  They become bored with the “same old things”. Children are not motivated by things that are easily obtained because they are not special.  They keep looking for more and more. Unfortunately, children are often given the prize, bribe, or reward without really deserving it.  That can only add to the feeling of “Why should I do the work since I will be rewarded anyway?  I’m comfortable the way I am!”

            Each child is unique and motivation must be chosen according to that child’s background and present circumstances.  However, “Necessity is the mother of invention” and unless a child understands the necessity of an education, that child will not be motivated to make the effort to learn. We practice what we truly believe.  Unless a child truly believes that an education is important, that child will not be motivated to learn no matter what we do.

When Children Get Sick

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by Pat Lamb (Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

When Children Get Sick

         When children get sick, as they inevitably do, we often ponder about how much to “baby” them or just how to care for them.  What mother has not sat by the side of a sick child and thought, “I’d rather it were me feeling that way than my child”?  It hurts us emotionally while at the same time it is hurting the child physically.

         Of course, we try to do all we can to prevent that sickness in the first place.  We encourage the children to wash their hands often, singing “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing with soap and warm water to make sure the hands are scrubbed long enough to get clean.  We do our best to make sure the child has plenty of fruit and vegetables in the diet to provide the vitamin C and other nutrients needed to fight the germs.  We try to see that the child is dressed properly for the cold weather, and we try to keep the child away from places where we know germs are present.  In spite of all our care, we often feel at least a little guilt when the child gets sick as we wonder if we did all we could have done to prevent the illness.

         There are actually some positive things that come from sickness.  One such positive learning is that children come to realize that they are vulnerable.  Many young people often feel as though they can do anything and nothing bad will ever happen.  Sickness teaches a child that we each need to be careful with how we care for ourselves. A time of sickness in the home can become a time of bonding between family members as all pitch in and help the sick one.  The sick child may learn to appreciate the love and care of others.  A third benefit is a possible development of sympathy and understanding of others when they become sick.  It seems that we can never truly appreciate the feelings of others until we, ourselves, have experienced what they are going through.  People who seldom get sick often are impatient with those who do get sick more often.

         How much care should be given to a sick child?  In my opinion, we need to take advantage of this time to “coddle” the child a bit.  There are, of course, occasions when this is not true.  If a child starts to take advantage of the extra attention, we need to back off.  When a child is truly sick, however, that child needs assurance of love and care.  We need a balance of not seeming overly concerned but, at the same time, children need to know that we wish the best for them. To this day, I can remember my mom’s hand on my forehead when, as a child, I would get sick and throw up.  I’m sure that hand did no physical good, but it showed that she cared.  Another memory is a time when my dad brought a pretty colored ear of corn from the field for me when I had tonsillitis.  

         Should a child be allowed to watch TV?  Yes, but only educational programs. Should a child do homework?  The child should do homework only if he/she is not feeling too badly.  I would not force it but would check occasionally to see if he/she feels like it, and then I would give assistance. Should a child be allowed to get up and run around?  Generally, we need to allow a child to do what that child feels like doing until the temperature has been normal for at least 24 hours.  Then the child probably needs to go back to school.  Sometimes, medicine can make a child feel better while he/she is getting worse.  This may be the case when medicine is given to treat symptoms only and the medicine does not treat the cause of the symptoms.  

         We probably will not do everything perfectly when our children get sick.  We simply try to give proper physical and emotional care to the best of our ability and pray that the Great Physician will do whatever else is needed.  

Children and Santa

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Santa

       For a long time, Santa has been our society’s focal point of Christmas.  He, no doubt, has sold many million dollars worth of toys.  He has produced much laughter.  He has caused the eyes of children to light up.  In reality, he has been the only reason many people observe Christmas.

         What is the current status of Santa?  Our computer-literate generation of children is not easily fooled.  In truth, how many of us grown-ups ever really believed in Santa?  Some children were fooled simply because they believed that their parents would never lie to them.  Others believed because they thought that by believing, they might get more gifts. Many of us could easily see the impossibility of someone flying around the whole world in one night and stopping at each house and going down each chimney.  We felt that it was insulting our intelligence to expect us to believe such a far-out story.  

         Today, we have many fat Santas at malls, department stores, parades, etc.  Do we really think that our children are not intelligent enough to figure out that they are too big to fit in a chimney?  Even a toddler can question why there are so many Santas.  

         A bigger question involves the feelings of a child who truly believes in Santa because he trusts his parents to never lie, and then finds out that the parents did, indeed, lie to him/her.  What happens, then, when the parents tell the child about an invisible Jesus?  For that matter, can the child believe the parents at any time if they deceived them with a Santa?  

         Our children cannot be shielded from Santa.  Our society sees to it that Santa is visible over and over.  It is a situation we must deal with.  We don’t want to rob our children of the fun of Christmas, but, at the same time, we don’t want our children to lose trust in us. A parent cannot avoid making a decision as to how to handle Santa.

         One idea for parents is to tell the children that to pretend there is a Santa is a fun game that is played at Christmastime.  Just as children play pretend in other areas, parents play pretend with the child about Santa. When little girls play pretend “mommy” with dolls, or little boys may play pretend” soldier with army toys, they do not really think they are grown.  It is alright to play pretend as long as children can come back to reality. This stimulates creativity. By letting the children know up front that Santa is a pretend game, future disappointment is eliminated.  It would be a good idea to explain that Santa represents giving and making others happy.  That is something that Jesus wants us to do. 

         Santa will probably be around for a long time to come, but deceiving children should end. We should never lie to children.   

         It is important that we create a pleasing experience for children at Christmas without leaving them with the feeling at a later time that they have been deceived.  Different personalities handle this in different ways.  Ultimately, whatever means is used, children should be left with understamding the real meaning of Christmas.  Children need to understand that Christmas is a celebration of the time that God sent his only son into the world to show His love for us.  

True Thankfulness

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambhristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

True Thankfulness

I remember how good it felt when our children were small and they would run to us, throw their arms around our neck and say, “Thanks, Mom”, or “Thanks, Dad”.  There was no doubt in our minds that they really meant it.

Sometimes, we may feel “guilted” into saying thanks.  We keep hearing others say that we should be thankful, so we try to be thankful when we are not really feeling it.  Our kids may be feeling the same way.  After all, how can we really be truly thankful if we have never had to do without the things we have.  We don’t miss what we have always had. It seems that we may, in some cases, have to do without in order to be thankful when we receive.  There is an old expression, “You never miss the water until the well runs dry.  There is a lot of truth in that!

What can we do to help our children be truly thankful?  In columns past, I have advocated playing games with the children by doing without certain things.  Such things as flipping the switch on the electric box for a half day, or going without a meal or two are suggestions I have made.  In addition, I would like to recommend that children learn more about history and how pilgrims and others suffered in the early times of our country.  Now, while we are so concerned about a virus, it would do us all good to remember that when our country was settled, there were no vaccines for smallpox, diphtheria, polio, tuberculosis, measles, mumps, whooping cough, tetanus, etc.  All food had to be grown or found in the forest.  Many pilgrims starved or died from disease.  

Another way to teach thankfulness is to have children earn some of their belongings.  We all appreciate more the things we are invested in.  Some parents give teens an allowance and require them to budget and plan for their own wardrobe.  It is surprising how unimportant some of the name brands become when they find they can buy something similar for much less money.  We did this with our children when they were teens.  At the time Izod was very popular.  Our daughter was so proud when she came home from the mall with three tops for what she would have paid for one Izod shirt.  

Children need to be taught at an early age to say “Thank you” whether they really mean it or not to get them thinking about what it means to be thankful.  As we can, however, we need to help them to be truly thankful for the things they have.  This should be more than just the material things mentioned, but also the love of family and God.  

It is not enough to simply tell children to be thankful.  Parents need to be creative in finding ways to help them be truly thankful for the love they have, the country they live in, and the God who watches over them and provides for them.  Without God, we would have nothing!

What are Children Thinking?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a Child…

A Child’s View of Happenings

“Experts” who study such things say that we are all a combination of heredity and environment.  We each inherit tendencies that influence our likes and dislikes.  Then, as we grow, the things that happen, or do not happen, around us influence what we become according to the choices we make in dealing with them.

Right now, few people would deny that we have a division in our country.  Children pick up on comments and actions that are influencing them.  They listen to parents and others as they comment on news events.  Our recent election provided many comments and actions that are very confusing to children.  

We tell our children to be kind to everyone, yet they are not seeing kindness as store windows are broken.  We tell our children not to steal, yet they see people on TV looting stores.  We tell our children to talk nicely, yet they see people screaming at each other as they argue about what they think needs to be done in our country.  What kind of adults will our children become as a result of what they are experiencing?

For many years, teachers and parents were told to praise children and tell them how special they are.  Children have been passed from grade to grade in school without being held accountable for mastering the material of each grade.  Children have been given trophies when they were not earned.  Why are we surprised that we have a generation of adults now who think they don’t have to earn what they get?  We have a generation that feels they are special no matter how they behave. Didn’t we actually teach them that they are special and entitled when we misused praise and gave them things they had not earned?

As this generation of children sees others acting as they do, how will they process this in their own minds?  Will they become another “me” generation?  Isn’t it up to parents to see that this does not happen.  How can parents overcome what children are now witnessing to teach them to respect others?  It starts, first of all, by example.  Demonstration is one of the best teaching methods.  

What a challenge for those who work with children!  Since children quickly form opinions, s/he may have already formed many undesirable opinions.  This means there is much “undoing” to do as we try to teach the correct responses to what they are seeing and hearing.  It will take much prayer and help from our Lord, and yet, many parents refuse to take their children to church so they can learn or have Bible reading times at home.  Only the Bible has the answers we need.  It has proved itself through the centuries.  

Seven Words that Could Change the World

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Seven Words that could Change the World

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in the world had good manners and an attitude of humility? There are seven words that could create a humble, repentant, and thankful attitude.  They are words that every child should learn to use intuitively.  They are words that would do away with rudeness and self-centeredness.  They are “excuse me,” “I’m sorry,” “please,” and “thank you”.  

         To say “excuse me” and “I’m sorry” in a meaningful way requires an attitude of repentance.  It requires an individual to put the other person’s feelings before one’s own feelings.  It also creates within a child an attitude of caution in the use of words or actions that may be offensive to another.  It requires giving up one’s own desires for the benefit of those in the immediate vicinity.  

         The word “please”, when said in a meaningful way, requires an attitude of humility.  Rather than feeling above a person to demand something for self, an individual must lower self to a position of “if you think I am worthy, I request a favor of you.”  The very act is a demonstration that the person saying the word considers him/herself in a lower position than the person to whom the request is being given. It is a “magic word” that causes the person being addressed to be more apt to give the favor than if it were demanded.

         Obviously, the words “thank you” express appreciation when said in a meaningful way.  As we observe children who are required to say these two words, we often see them pause just a bit before they are spoken.  In this time of pause, a child is forced to realize that something is owed to the person doing the favor.  As the child realizes this fact, he/she also realizes, although perhaps unaware of it, that their enjoyment of the favor is dependant on the other person.  In this respect, humility is fostered in the same way that saying “please” fosters humility. 

         It is so easy to teach children to say these seven words, yet parents often forget to do so.  If all children were taught to say these words, they would grow up with better attitudes and everyone would get along with each other.  People who are humble do not put themselves above others.  People who appreciate what they get are not people who demand more and more of others.  People who appreciate what they have are not constantly trying to get more at the expense of others.  People who are humble do not put others down.

         Using the seven words named are simply a matter of good manners.  We know that the basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others.  It is such a simple and easy thing to teach children to use these words and mean them.  Wouldn’t it be nice if parents, teachers, grandparents, and other adults in positions of influence would help to change our world by doing so?  

Children Need Help with Social Studies

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children,Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising Children…

Teaching Tips

“…bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” 

Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV)

During the many years I have taught both children and adults, I have learned a few techniques that have worked for me.  Since so many are now teaching their children at home, perhaps sharing them would be helpful. Of course, every situation is unique.  However, I have found that the following worked for me:

1)  Keep on a schedule.  Schedules give security and routines help in planning time.

2)  Questions work better than statements.  Questions force the learner to think. Statement reactions are usually “maybe it’s true and maybe it isn’t”.  Then it is usually forgotten.

3)  Repetition of instructions more than two or three times is not good.  When you keep repeating, the learner knows s/he doesn’t have to listen the first time because you will say it again.  Also, you may want the learner to repeat the instructions back to you.

4)  A soft voice is better than a loud voice.  Yelling is not good in any case.  If the child isn’t listening, you may want to walk to the child, stoop down, and whisper.  

5)  Repetition of learning matter is a good thing.  Some studies say that a new learning needs to be repeated at least seven times before it starts to “stick”.  This is especially true with math.

6)  Use as many of the five senses as possible. Multiplication tables can be written (touch and sight), and/or said aloud (hearing).  Candy M&M’s or wrapped candy can be used for counting (taste).  

7)  To force a child to read carefully, give the child a few pennies. Each time a mistake is made, the child must forfeit a penny.  (This works well with group reading to have the other children listen for mistakes and then the one who hears it first gets the penny.)  It holds the attention of the other children,  (When a group is reading aloud one at a time,  usually the mind of those not reading aloud wanders until it is their turn.)

8)  “Engage pen; engage mind” works.  A friend of mine won a national teaching award when her Pueblo Indian students (learning English as a second language) tested above the national average in language.  She said, “Pat, I do one thing.  Every morning I have the class copy something that I feel is important for them to learn.  I check it for spelling, punctuation, capitalization, etc.”  What should they copy?  The Preamble to the Constitution, parts of the constitution, Scripture, rules for punctuation, rules for working math problems, portions of a text book, are all good possibilities.  This is a good activity if a parent has work to do to keep the child busy with something that is very good for the child.

9) Math builds on itself.  Start where the child is first having trouble. Understanding basics is essential to progress.

You may have noticed that I did not say “make learning fun”.  Fun should never be a goal, but may be a by-product.  Life is not always going to be fun!