Tag Archives: Raising children

Helping Children Become Good Citizens

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come: Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Helping Children Become Good Citizens

Teachers in school simply cannot teach children all they need to become good citizens.  Not only do they not have the time to do so, but truthfully, no teacher can remain totally neutral in teaching children.  Eventually, personal opinions will show through in selection of material taught, tone of voice, facial expressions, and many other ways.  It is truly up to parents to teach their children when it comes to matters of patriotism and our country.

How can parents effectively teach citizenship?  First of all, good citizenship must be practiced by the parents.  Parents need to teach their children how our constitution came to be and even how our country was founded.  Finally, parents need to point out the propaganda that would destroy our country.

It is so easy for parents to say the wrong things in front of children.  Learning is often caught rather than taught.  The tone of voice parents use and comments such as “politicians are all crooks” must be guarded.  After all, if parents think government officials are crooks, why should children honor the laws they make?  On the other hand, if parents respect the law, children will be inclined to do so as well.

Unfortunately, it seems that much of our country’s true history is not being taught in many of our schools.  There is much information available in local libraries and the Internet that parents can use to make sure children get accurate information.  It is often difficult to sift out truth from opinion, but the ability to do so will be needed by children throughout their entire lives.  It is easy to get swept up in emotion and overlook facts. School teachers are human.  They can get swept up in emotion as easily as anyone else— often with good intentions.  

Of course, children will make up their own minds as they grow into adulthood.  Parents, however, need to make sure they have facts, set a good example, and help children discern the difference between truth and opinion.  


Helping Children with Fear

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianwriter.com)

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Fear

Many children have fears.  Right now, they may be having fears about what they hear adults saying about the Corona virus.  They may be having fears about changes at school. In addition, when they hear parents raise their voices to each other, they have inward fears that parents cannot or will not take care of them.

Even adults are displaying symptoms of fear concerning the Corona virus.Many are staying in and afraid to go anywhere.  Children hear adults talking about whether or not to wear masks.  To a young child, these things they hear conjure up visions in their minds of things we adults can hardly imagine.  They may think of the virus as a monster that they cannot see.  We need to be careful about not only what we say when children are listening, but also how we say it.  Since children have limited vocabularies, they often judge by tone of voice.

When children see the changes that have taken place in school, they may be afraid they might forget the new rules.  “What if I get in trouble?”  “Where is that virus?”  “What if I get sick?”  These are questions they may have in mind.  This not only affects their emotions, it also affects the learning process.  It is hard to concentrate with so much on the mind.

As simple as it may seem, one way we can help children with fear is to keep a calm voice.  Another way is for parents to give assurance to their children that they will be there to protect them as much as possible. (It is not wise to say, “Everything will be alright”,  because we don’t know that is true.  Children are smart enough to know it may not be true as well.)  Right now, it is a good idea to let the children know that most children do not get sick with the virus.  However, some will be worried about their grandmothers and grandfathers.  I suggest you let the children talk to their grandparents often, if possible.  Hearing their voices is a reassurance that they are okay.  

There are many uncertainties in life that we cannot control.  It is good that children learn this fact.  Many have found the best comfort in their prayer life and faith.  This time in our life is a good time to teach children about the love of God and that He wants the best for them.  Nevertheless, we have a choice as to our beliefs and actions because He created us that way.  There are many good programs available on the Internet for children to learn about God.  Even if church attendance is restricted at this time, there is an unlimited amount of Spiritual education available for both children and adults if we simply tap into it. 

Our lives will always have challenges and uncertainties. Some may be even worse than what we are now facing.  Helping children cope with these uncertainties is perhaps the most important thing we can do to train up our children in the way they should go.

Good Intentions are not Enough

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

       It is wonderful when parents can truly enjoy their children and want to make them happy.  It presents a challenge, however, to make children happy and at the same time prepare them for their future.  It seems that the idea has permeated our society that we all should be happy and having fun all the time, and that the only good parent is the parent who entertains children and  protects them from hardships.  

         Just as a “hot-house” tomato has a difficult time adjusting to the challenges in nature when it is set out in a garden, so do children who have been sheltered from all rules and hardships have a difficult time adjusting to the real world.  Adults who work with children need to discover a balance between letting children be children and at the same time preparing them for a time when they are unprotected by adults.  Children must have guidelines and rules to live by and be required to abide by those rules for their own good.  They must be allowed to experience the consequences of the choices they make.  With a few exceptions such as birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. they must earn what they receive. 

         Children who have no guidelines are always insecure and uncertain as to what behavior is acceptable and what punishment they may receive for their behavior.  They are at loose ends with the world and often express their frustration with unacceptable behavior.  By contrast, children who have rules and are required to abide by them, have a certainty in their minds that they are doing the right thing.  The stress of making decisions without necessary information is removed, and they are happier children.  Many well-intentioned parents think that letting their children do what they want to do is helping them.  Not true.  Children are not equipped to make many decisions by themselves and often make the wrong decisions and get in trouble for doing so.  It is much better to make sure they know what is right and wrong before they make the wrong decisions.  Important, also, is reinforcement of correct behavior.  When a child is told, “You did the right thing”, the child feels a real sense of relief and is inclined to repeat that behavior.

         It is hard for any parent or teacher to watch a child go through something unpleasant.  However, when we jump in and rescue the child from the consequences of his/her behavior, we become enablers.  When we enable a child to do wrong and get by with it, that child grows up thinking that whatever he/she desires is acceptable and someone will bail him/her out of trouble.  It is through the natural punishment of consequences that children learn many lessons that we may never be able to teach in another way.

         When children are continually rewarded for doing what is normally required, they grow up thinking that they don’t have to act in acceptable ways unless rewarded for doing so.  A teacher friend of mine often said, “Virtue is its own reward”.  There are some things that we are supposed to do whether there is a reward or not.  One school in IL, where our daughter taught, rewarded children for doing their homework by taking them to McDonalds on Fridays.  This, in my opinion, is not a good way to use rewards.  Homework is something that children should do without getting a material reward. One NEA magazine had an article some time back about paying children to go to school.  Is it any wonder that we are living in an entitlement generation when this kind of thinking abounds?

         Ideally, parents should decide in their own minds how they want their children to “turn out” as to character traits and keep this goal in mind in everyday contact with their children.  We can’t just let our children always be happy-go-lucky without responsibilities and rules and expect them to become good citizens.

Helping Children with Math

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Math Homework

         A common phrase heard by parents is, “I was never any good in math either”.  My husband, a retired math teacher, says that you never hear parents say, “I was never any good in reading either”.  A parent’s attitude is transferred to children easily.  Undoubtedly, this attitude expressed about math influences a child and often causes the child to think that it is alright to be less proficient in math than in reading and “lets them off the hook” when it comes to doing math homework.  One of the best ways to help children with math homework is to have the right attitude about math itself.  In addition, parents need to be involved with the homework and need to provide opportunities for math usage to help children see its importance.

         Math is similar in one way to building a house.  You can’t put the walls up until the foundation is laid.  Often children miss out somewhere along the way in math and that affects the understanding of current assignments.  In such cases, the child simply needs to go back and find where he/she got off track and “fill in the chinks” in that foundation.    

         There are two reasons for learning math.  The first reason is obvious.  It is used in many, many aspects of life.  Adults should never say, “You’ll never use this.” This causes the child to think they don’t have to learn it.  The other reason for learning math is that it is a mental exercise that develops the thinking processes.  When children learn to do math, especially word problems, they are learning to consider all facts and are required to sort out what is needed and set priorities to solve the problem. These same procedures are used in all decision-making in real life. In this respect, all math is useful. It is interesting that at one time math was referred to as the math discipline.  That title is fitting as math truly disciplines the brain.

         Parents often shy away from becoming involved in math homework for fear they will do it wrong.  It is true that some different methods are being used in some schools, but often if the child is asked to explain the methods, the problem will be solved by the child during the explanation.  A good thing to do is to ask the child to tell you what he/she knows about a problem.  This helps the student break down the problem in parts.  It is not a good idea to try to teach children different methods until a child has mastered one method as it will cause confusion.  It is profitable to take the time to study the textbook to see what method is being taught rather than try to teach a child to solve the way we were taught.  

         When children hear parents comparing prices and noting how much money can be saved, they are being helped with math.  When children are restricted from impulse buying and required to compare prices, they are being helped with math.  When coupons are clipped and children are allowed to keep a portion of the savings, they are learning math.  When parents require children to learn multiplication tables, they are doing a very important action to help their children in math.

         In a recent workshop I attended, we were told that an unusual number of students nationwide are finding it necessary to take remedial math when they go to college.  There is a real concern about the low math achievement in this country. We can help not only our children with their math, but in doing so, we are helping our country.  

Helping Children with Reading

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Helping Children with Reading

         Many parents shy away from helping their children with homework.  Often, this is because they are afraid they will not do it the way the teacher wants, or perhaps they feel inadequate.  There are six basic subject areas for which children may receive homework. They are reading, math, language, social studies, writing, and science.  In this column, I would like to make comments about helping children with reading.

         It is helpful to understand how reading is taught in schools today.  In the past there were arguments about whether sight reading or phonetic reading was best.  Actually, both are used.  There are certain words that children should simply memorize and learn by sight.  A good basis of phonics is absolutely necessary for a child to be able to decode words on his/her own.

         One of the best ways to help a child with sight words is to use flash cards.  Teachers can give parents a list of words that children should know by sight.  Children can make their own flash cards or flash cards may be purchased.  The advantage for a child to make the cards is that the child learns about spelling and writing at the same time as the words are learned. The advantage of purchasing the cards is that the print is similar to what the child sees on the pages in books.  Either or both are helpful.

         If a parent feels inadequate to teach phonics, that parent can ask the child to teach the parent. The child learns the sounds at school and usually knows them but simply needs review and practice for reinforcement.  Sometimes a parent may need to put a finger over part of a word to help the child break the word down.  Much of reading depends on the vision of a child…both the physical vision and the way the child sees the word in his/her mind.  By covering part of a word, the child can see parts of the word in the mind rather than just seeing a bunch of letters of the alphabet.

         The best thing any parent can do to help with a child’s reading is simply have that child read, read, read.  Older children can read stories to younger children or to the parents.  The children need to be familiar with the local library and have enjoyable books on hand to read at all times.  Reading at home should generally be easy reading. If a child does not know five words to a page, that book is too difficult for the child.  Reading easy books develops a feeling of self-satisfaction.  The child becomes more fluent and develops speed.  Usually, it is best to leave the difficult books for the school to handle.  Encouraging a child to read enjoyable and easy books develops a good foundation for reading in years to come.  If reading is always difficult, the child will shy away from it.

         Parents should see that books are available for children all the time.  Books should be in the car, so that when a child has to wait for a parent somewhere, the child can be reading.  Children can help make and read grocery lists.  They can read directions on packages to mom or dad when meals are being prepared.  Parents can find many opportunities to help children with reading and need not hesitate to do so.

Instilling Patriotism in Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Instilling Patriotism in Children

         There may be no better time than Independence Day for parents to instill in children the attitude and feeling of patriotism.  As children experience the beautiful fireworks displays and understand that the same thing is happening throughout our nation, they can’t help but think about what it means to be living in America.  Adults need to take advantage of this “teachable moment” to encourage the feeling of pride for country and help the children understand, as much as possible, the cost paid for our freedom by our forefathers.

         One way to give a better understanding of our forefathers is to check the Internet for information regarding some of those individuals.  Children will be interested to learn about some of the inventions of Ben Franklin.  He invented bifocals, the lightning rod, a grasping tool, and even a musical instrument using glasses filled with different amounts of water.  He designed a ship with compartments so that if one compartment sprung a leak, the leak could not sink the ship.  

         Only two of Thomas Jefferson’s six children survived into adulthood.  He had specific instructions as to what he wanted on his tombstone.  He wrote a political pamphlet in which he stated, “The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time:  the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.”  He designed his home, Monticello, in detail and had it built on property inherited from his family. 

         At the age of 16, George Washington helped survey Shenandoah lands.  He was very interested in western expansion of our country.  It will fascinate children to learn that he invented wooden false teeth.  It has been said that we always see pictures of him with his mouth closed because of his wooden false teeth.

         There are many, many interesting things to learn about our founding fathers and our country if we just take the time to explore with the children.  A visit to the library will uncover many interesting books for the children to read during the summer months.  

         It is easy to develop an appreciation of the past history of our country.  What is not so easy is to develop a feeling of appreciation for our country now.  It is difficult as a teacher to help the children learn to respect authority of our government when they hear so much criticism from parents, grandparents, and others.  When children hear parents say, “They are all a bunch of crooks!” they wonder why, then, are they supposed to obey laws made by those “crooks”.  It was a real struggle in my GED classes to get students to understand that our government is “we”, not “they”.  

         We need to be very careful to discuss policies of our government without “badmouthing” the people making those policies.  It is very difficult in times of frustration to separate what our politicians do from who they are.  We are commanded in the Bible to pray for our leaders and we should do just that.  Instead of venting our anger to those around us, we need to be finding ways to make the changes that we believe are needed in a respectful way.  

         Our country has had many problems since its beginning.  We need to help our children join us in praying for our country and deciding how we can be the best citizens possible.    

Dad’s Dilemma

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Dad’s Dilemma

         Dad has a dilemma as he attempts to be head of his home.  That dilemma is how to please mom and, at the same time, “bring home the bacon” and train the kids properly.

         I’m afraid that too many of us as mothers may be too critical of dad and his attempts to discipline and teach the children.  Often, we expect dad to see things just exactly as we see them and do just exactly as we would when they make an effort to direct the children.  If God had intended us both to think the same, he would have made us both the same.  Often dad wields a firmer hand than a mother would.  I believe that is the way it should be.  It seems to be the nature of mom to nurture and cuddle.  Too many times we want to jump in and rescue a child when dad knows that firmness is needed.  Dad doesn’t want to disappoint mom.  This puts him in a tough spot.

         One comedian in Branson joked that a woman’s brain has a four lane highway going from the left brain to the right brain and men have a narrow cow path going from one side of the brain to the other.  This makes women more able to multi-task where men are more apt to think of one thing at a time.  Generally, this is true. 

 Of course, there are exceptions to all of the research findings.  Some men can multi-task.  For those men who find multi-tasking difficult, it is really hard to come home from work and immediately switch to the role of being a dad.  I remember reading in the 50’s that the wife should wait until the husband has been home from work 20 minutes before she starts telling him about the day with the kids!  Times have certainly changed as now many women are also working outside the home.  However, a man may still find it more difficult to adjust quickly to a different set of tasks from what he faced at work.  Also, many jobs now require the person to be on call for 24 hours. In this case, it is especially difficult to switch the mind back and forth to concentrate on what the children need.

         Many dads hesitate to discipline the children for fear they are not doing it properly.  They want the children to like them, and may fear that they only see him when he is scolding them for something, and will hold it against him.  The truth is that even though children may resent discipline for a time, in the long run there will be more respect for parents when they show that they care enough to risk not being liked for the sake of a child.  As for not being sure of how to discipline and teach properly, dads need to avail themselves of books and other information available to help them learn. 

Dr. James Dobson has written many wonderful books that give insight into how children think and react.  Dads need to visit the school and meet the teachers and get involved with their children’s activities. Also, dad needs to make sure there is a time each week for the family to have devotions and an opportunity for each family member to express any concerns or ask questions. 

         We can all learn and do better when it comes to bringing up the children.  Mom needs to be more patient with dad and dad needs to make more effort to learn about children and communicate with the family.

A Lesson from a Dad

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com )

Train up a child…

A Lesson from a Dad

       No matter how old we get, when Father’s Day comes, our thoughts naturally turn to our dads and what they mean to us.   My dad taught me a lesson that I would like to share with you.

         We had about 24 cows to milk most of the time on our little farm in Verona, MO.  I liked to tag along with my dad on summer evenings when he went down into the pasture to bring them up for milking.  On one hot summer evening, I was tagging along behind him watching the little puffs of dust come from under my bare feet on the dry, dusty cow path. Suddenly he stopped, squatted down, and pulled a blade of grass.

         My dad sat for a while looking at that blade of grass.  First he looked on the underneath side of it, and then he rolled it over and looked at the top of it.  I could tell that my dad was having deep, serious thoughts.

         “Patsy,” he said, “jest look at this blade of grass.  Look at all the little hairs on it.  Look at all the little lines going here and there on it.”  About that time, an airplane flew overhead.  My dad looked up at the sky and said, “You know, man can make an airplane and fly.  Why, someday, who knows, man may even be able to go to the moon and back, but don’t you ever forget that only God can make a blade of grass!”

         I haven’t forgotten that lesson. Sure enough, man has gone to the moon and back, and man has done much more. Man has even learned to clone animals and humans, but man will never be able to make a blade of grass.  

         Some of the best teaching parents can do comes at opportune moments when least expected.  Impromptu teaching of values can only come if a parent’s heart is right and the desire to teach is there.  Just as we walk every day and never give a thought to the grass we are treading upon, so do we often let day after day go by and never give a thought to the many opportunities for teaching children.

         The best planned lessons from the most educated of teachers may not be as effective as a lesson given from the heart of a dad.  Sure, mom has plenty of input, but there is something extra special when a dad puts his effort into working with his children.  A dad should think of the home as his piece of the world.  It is his to govern and support.  It is something he owns in partnership with mom.  Mom is his helper as he rules his “little country”. 

         Whether or not a dad wants this responsibility, it is his, and God will hold him accountable for how he conducts himself with this assignment.  In God’s sight, just because a man left a home, his responsibilities have not been erased. Bringing children into the world places the responsibility of rearing them squarely on the dads.  Nothing can take that away. 

         This Father’s Day, let us be grateful and express that gratefulness to our dads.  There are many fine dads who take their responsibilities very seriously and they deserve to be honored.  Oh, that there were more dads who did so! 

An Easy Way to Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com )

Train up a child…

An Easy Way to Learn

         I well remember my dad telling my sisters and me, “If you won’t listen, you’ll have to learn the hard way!”

         Listening to the descriptions of the experiences of those who have lived in the past is an easy way to learn.  As Memorial Day approaches, we have an opportunity to describe the experiences of those who have gone before us to help our children learn.

         What can children learn by listening to descriptions of the past?  They can learn of some things people did that worked well, some things people did that did not work well, and they can gain some inspiration to make their own lives count.

         Memorial Day is certainly a time to remember veterans who have fought for our freedom, but it is also a time to remember our relatives of the past who made significant accomplishments.  It would be well for parents to find specific stories to read or tell to children both about veterans and their own relatives.  Stories about veterans help children appreciate the freedom they enjoy.  Stories of past relatives provide roots and a feeling of self worth.  Good stories of past relatives instill a sense of pride and motivate a child to want to “measure up” to family history.

         It is a good idea to take children to a cemetery on Memorial Day and reverently walk through and observe some of the tombstones. There will undoubtedly be a few graves of people who died at a very young age.  A discussion of how some of the people may have died could include a discussion of the use of drugs and alcohol.  This lesson is far more effective than any lecture in a classroom.  The children can see for themselves that the use of drugs and alcohol is definitely something that did not work well for these individuals.  It would be well for parents to point out specific cases with which they are familiar of instances where results were not good.  For example, some of the young people may have died from car accidents where they were driving too fast.  

         One goal in raising children should be to help children decide in their own minds what is best. Telling is not teaching.  In fact, if we lecture children, they often rebel.  We want them to settle in their own minds what is right.  If they can make these decisions when they are young, when the challenging teen years come, they have already decided and do not have to doubt.  The visual image of a tombstone in the mind of a young person might well stay until the teen years and be present when that first driver’s license is issued or when temptations to use drugs or alcohol comes. 

         Children don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” if they will listen to stories of the past and base their decisions on those things that have already been tried and failed, or those things which have been tried and succeeded.  It is easier to learn by listening and seeing than to have to try everything for oneself.  

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambhristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

Whether we are rich, poor, handsome, short, tall, educated, or uneducated, we all have one thing in equal amounts.  That one thing is time.  We each have 24 hours each day.  How we use those hours determines whether we are a success or failure in life.  The way mothers use their time may determine whether their children become a success or a failure.  Mothers should try to stay busy, make their busy-ness count positively, and protect their time from being stolen by others who would pressure them to do things that are not productive for their husband and children.

         The 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible describes the “perfect” woman.  In the 27th verse of that chapter we read that a good woman “does not eat the bread of idleness”.  One result of modern day conveniences is that we have more time on our hands.  It is tempting to allow ourselves to be idle since we are not required to do as much physical work as our mothers had to do.  I have heard so many women say that they eat too much because they are bored. As a result, they then worry about being overweight.  This is especially true of mothers whose children have left home.  The Bible does not say that we stop being mothers when the children reach a certain age.  We are mothers as long as our children are living. Even if our children are far away, we can still e-mail them or write words of encouragement, make gifts for them and their children, find appropriate books and information to help them, or do many other things to promote their well-being.  We need to keep busy being a good mother no matter what the age of the children. Idleness truly does breed contempt.  An idle person is usually not a happy person.  Physical exercise produces an enzyme that fights depression.  We need to stay as active as we can, doing productive activities. Also, there are plenty of other children around that we can “mother” if our children or grandchildren are not near us.

         It is important to choose activities that are beneficial to children. When mothers read to children, it is wise to choose books that not only entertain, but also teach good values.  I like to “kill two birds with one stone” whenever possible.  Some books and games have little value for children while others have great value.  Why waste time on something worthless when so much can be accomplished with worthwhile activities.  One of the very best ways to use time well is to allow children to assist with work.  This provides time for bonding as well as teaching children how to care for personal belongings. Children and parents can be side-by-side in work and play.

         There are many things that would steal our time.  Even good things can keep us from doing better things.  There may be good TV shows, but we need to ask ourselves whether they are actually worth the time they take by producing positive benefits for our family.  Many organizations plead for help from mothers and many of those organizations have worthwhile causes.  If we try to be helpful in too many of them or in too many ways to any one of them, we may be allowing them to steal time that would be better spent with our children. 

         Time passes far too quickly to waste it.  When our children are small, it may seem like forever until they grow up and are on their own.  Those of us who are older know that the time when they are home and we have greater influence on them is so very short in relation to the time when they are away.  My husband and I have been married fifty years and most of that time has been spent together after the children have left home. That is true of many other couples as well. Mom, let’s make that short time count!