Tag Archives: parenting

Children and Violence in the News

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthorcom

Train up a child…

 Children and Violence in the News

What do we tell our children about all the violence that is happening in our world?  Can we shield them from it?  Should we just ignore it?

Since the beginning of time, there has been a struggle between good and evil.  Children need to be told that God wants good for everyone.  Satan is the author of evil.  All people have to choose which they will follow.  No choice means that people just do what they feel like doing and that is usually bad.  It is the condition of the heart that determines our actions.  No law can make people be good on the inside.  Love cannot be legislated.  We hope our children will choose good, but as parents, we must teach them what is good and what is bad.

It is impossible to completely shield children from all bad news.  We may succeed in keeping part of it away from them, but as they grow older, they will hear more and more.  It takes wisdom to know the amount of information to give children.  Some children are able to handle more than others at certain ages.  The parent is in the best position to know what a child can process.  It is better to help a child with understanding rather than just leave it for the child to have to face alone in the future.  To ignore the bad news completely leaves a child wondering and often confused.

There is no doubt that our children have a great challenge in their future.  We need to do all we can to prepare them.  Nothing is better to prepare them than to give them a foundation of Scripture.  Parents can never go wrong in helping children memorize Scripture.  Taking them to church can go a long way in giving support for spiritual development.  Listening to their concerns and answering to the best of our ability is also important.  It is okay to say, “I don’t know.  Maybe we can figure it out together.”  

It is natural for children to ask why God lets bad people hurt others.  The answer is that God can do everything but one thing.  He created us so that we have the right to choose.  He cannot choose for us.  If He could, we would be like puppets.  He wants us to choose the good and not the bad.  He sees everything and it makes Him sad when people choose wrongly.  He gave us the Bible to tell us how to choose the right way.  He wants us to choose to love Him, not be forced to love Him.  He wants us to choose to love others.  If others were forced to love us, it would not seem like real love.  It is the same with God.  It is important to have a choice and to choose wisely.  

How to Talk so Kids can Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How to Talk so Kids Can Learn

         People do not like to be yelled at!  Children are people, too.  Children do not like to be yelled at!

         The way we talk to children greatly affects their learning.  Our tone and volume of voice is very important as we relate to the little ones.  We need to take the time, whenever possible, to explain and reason with children.  

         I have observed, over the years, that many parents constantly bark orders to children, often so rapidly that the children do not have time to mentally process one order before being given another. When this happens, children become resentful, confused, embarrassed, and often give up trying to obey. They may pout or act out in frustration.  They hurt inside because they feel that the one yelling at them does not love them.  It becomes even more confusing when, after barking orders to the children, a few minutes later that same parent may say, “I love you”.  This scenario gives an untrue example of love.  Love is patient. On the other hand, if we slow down, take time to let the child process instructions, and explain where needed, the child calms down, is more likely to obey, and senses love as shown through patience.  Sometimes a parent will get better results to simply go to the child, put an arm around that child, and whisper instructions slowly.

         Children can often understand more than we give them credit for if we take the time to give the explanations in words they understand.  We forget that they do not have the same vocabulary that we have.  They increase their vocabulary as we explain why we expect them to do certain things.  When they have the understanding, they are more apt to act appropriately on their own when parents are not around.  Many believe that if they just get their children in the habit of doing certain things that they will grow up and maintain those habits.  Habits only go so far.  Understanding of reasons for acting appropriately will extend the correct behavior.  There comes a time in a child’s life when that child begins to question what parents have told them.  If they have the basic understanding of the “whys”, they are more apt to stick with what they have been taught.

         The use of questions instead of statements is so very important in helping children reason out the “whys” of behavior.  Telling is not teaching!  When we ask questions, a child is forced to think. Following are some examples of common questions that can be asked in various situations:

  1. How would Johnny feel if you said that?
  2. If you did that, what would the children around you think?
  3. What could you say to make Suzie feel better?
  4. What will your teacher think if you do that?
  5. Are you sure that is the right thing to do?

These are just general questions to help a child think through his/her actions before deciding.  They also help to develop empathy and teach decision-making.

         Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish wrote a book titled, How to Talk so Kids Can Learn.  I highly recommend it. Although I do not agree with everything in the book, it certainly helps us rethink how we talk to children.

Why Some Kids “Act Out”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Why Some Kids “Act Out”

         Little tries the patience of adults more than having a child misbehave by throwing a tantrum or acting in unacceptable ways.  Often, the tendency is to treat the symptom of behavior rather than looking deeper to decide why the child is acting as he/she is and treating the reason for the behavior. There are many reasons a child misbehaves.  One reason children do so is that they simply haven’t been taught acceptable behavior.  Other children have found through experience that their actions get them what they want.  Still other children become frustrated about their present circumstances and act out because they don’t know another way to deal with the situation.

         It seems that some parents think that children will raise themselves.  They neglect teaching their children proper behavior and simply leave them to their own way of thinking about things.  These children are almost like little wild animals that have never been tamed.  They make decisions according to base wants for the moment with little regard for consequences of behavior.  If they feel like running, they run.  If they feel like shouting, they shout.  If they feel like tearing up something, they tear it up.  Actions are determined by feelings at the moment.  In such cases, teachers or others working with these children must teach them how to act along with the “whys” of correct behavior. Often, these children have been left so long that they will never catch up with where they should be in learning proper behavior.  In many cases, the parents themselves don’t know how to act acceptably even if they should decide to teach their children.

         Some children act out because they have experienced in the past that doing so will get them what they want.  These are the children whose parents give in to temper tantrums just to get the child to be quiet.  It is human nature to use tactics that work for our survival. Children learn that this is one tactic that works, so it is repeated.  A common example of this child is the one who throws a tantrum in a store while shopping to get something desired.  The parent, rather than tolerate the embarrassment, will get the item for the child.  The next time the child wants something, that child will throw another temper tantrum.  Parents need to stop giving in to the tantrums to change this child and instead respond only to positive behavior.

         Sometimes children find themselves in situations that they can’t handle. This could be a child who normally acts very nice, but suddenly there may be an outburst.  Children have not yet learned the “niceties” of talk to say no to something beyond their ability. In addition, as a child, they are taught to obey and not say no.  Parents and teachers sometimes “pigeonhole” a child into a situation that is scary or beyond the child’s competence.  In such cases, the child knows nothing better than to become frustrated and “lash out” at those around.  Not all children are of the nature to sit still for long periods of time in school.  Some children are designed to be active children and not the nice and quiet children we may want.  God designs us uniquely and that design does not always fit into the expectations of a parent or teacher. In such cases, parents and teachers need to assure the child that he/she is not expected to do something that the child can’t do. A different assignment may need to be given at the level of ability.

         There is no substitute for time spent with a child to learn what the child is thinking and feeling.  This knowledge helps us understand the child’s behavior and with many prayers for wisdom, parents and teachers can then address that behavior in a loving way.  

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Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

  Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

       Getting off to a bad start in anything is not a good thing, but it is especially important that children get a good start at the beginning of each school year.  The start of the year sets the pattern of behavior for the remainder of the school year and possibly for years to come.  Having a set pattern removes uncertainty and much confusion as children practice firm rules in the home.  As those rules become habits, parents are more at ease and there is less worry on the part of both the parents and the children.

         Before school starts in the fall, parents need to sit down with children and pray with them that they will do their best.  Undue pressure should not be put on any child to make straight “A’s”.  Rather, children should be encouraged to do the best they can do with the abilities God has given them.  II Timothy 2:15 is a good verse to use to impress children to do their best in school. If a child can understand that it is God who is to be pleased more than self, teachers, or parents, studying becomes more important. This gives purpose and the proper attitude toward learning. The prayer instills a sense of seriousness about the importance of behavior and effort.

         Children need routine.  They need the understanding that their behavior is acceptable, and they need to know that their parents are concerned with their well-being.

         Why not use the cell phone, that most older children have, to help them remember their routine? Our youngest son programs the cell phone of his sons to remind them of what they are to do and when they are to do it.  They can then text him when the chores are accomplished. 

A good routine for children each school night might include the following:

1) Homework is done at a certain time and place; then, it is laid out in a special spot so the child will not have to hunt for it the next morning.

2) Anything that is to be taken to school with the homework is placed along with the homework in a designated spot to prevent the scurrying around that often occurs in many homes as children frantically try to get ready to go to school.

3) Clothes to be worn the next day are laid out and ready to be put on.

4) Any chores in the home that the child is to do the next day are explained so that the child is not surprised with added  activities that may interrupt his/her plans.

     5) The alarm clock is set.

      When these things are taken care of, one of the parents checks in on the child at bedtime to be available to hear questions or comments from the child before hearing the prayers of the younger children.  Older children may want to say prayers in private.

When the listed items are done, the child can go to bed at ease knowing all is ready for the next day.  That child knows that the right thing has been done and will have a sense of accomplishment. Both the children and the parents will rest better knowing that all is organized. 

When children wake up in the morning and their clothes are ready for them, they don’t have the turmoil in their minds to start the day wondering what to wear.  They don’t have to worry about their homework because they know where it is.  After a good breakfast, one or both parents can give each child a big hug and kiss before he/she walks out the door along with a word of advice such as, “Learn all you can learn!” or “No matter what happens today, I will still love you tonight!”  With a final, “I love you!” the child is on the way to a good day at school.

Children Learn in Different Ways

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Learn in Different Ways

         Studies show that we tend to raise our children the way we were raised in spite of any training in child-rearing classes we may have received along the way.  Without realizing it, we tend to think that our children will learn the same way we learned without taking into account the differences in inherited traits and personalities.  We can be much more effective in parenting (and grandparenting) if we can understand the differences in the way children learn.

         Some children tend to learn better by hearing information while others learn better by seeing or doing.  Educators classify children as auditory, visual, or kinesthetic learners.  Actually, all children learn in each of these ways, but most are dominant in one or two of the ways.

         Auditory learners learn best by having a story read to them rather than reading it for themselves.  They like to have music going most of the time and would rather have someone tell them what to do than read instructions for themselves.  They are often musically inclined and can learn better when things are set to music. Auditory learners might learn multiplication tables more easily if they are set to music.  In my opinion, many children have not developed listening skills and do not fall into this category.  

         Visual learners learn better with charts and graphs or demonstrations.  They need to see how a word looks to decide if it is spelled right, and they will probably learn their spelling words by writing them over and over rather than just saying them over and over. They will be the individuals who take a lot of notes when they are in high school or college.  They need to be shown how to do things rather than just being told.  Charts for daily chores work well for these children.  They probably won’t just take a person’s word for something.  They will probably want to see for themselves whether something is right.  

         Kinesthetic learners like to use their bodies and do active things.  They are usually the children involved in sports.  They learn best by doing projects. They like doing play-doh projects when they are young.  When they are older, they are the ones who like the social studies and science projects that involve making things.  An example of using a kinesthetic method to teach in school might be to have students stand and turn a certain number of degrees right or left to learn about degrees in a circle.  At home, boys will love to do fix-it projects with dad.  Girls will like cooking or other projects involving action.

         Observance of children will give clues as to how they best learn.  When children constantly doodle and draw pictures, you can know they are the visual learners.  The very active children are usually the kinesthetic learners and it is important to keep them busy with projects.  Quiet children may be the auditory learners as they are listening for sounds in nature or listening to others.  No two children are the same.  Good parents and teachers will learn to observe the differences and capitalize on the way that children learn best.

Children and Violence in the News

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

 Children and Violence in the News

What do we tell our children about all the violence that is happening in our world?  Can we shield them from it?  Should we just ignore it?

Since the beginning of time, there has been a struggle between good and evil.  Children need to be told that God wants good for everyone.  Satan is the author of evil.  All people have to choose which they will follow.  No choice means that people just do what they feel like doing and that is usually bad.  It is the condition of the heart that determines our actions.  No law can make people be good on the inside.  Love cannot be legislated.  We hope our children will choose good, but as parents, we must teach them what is good and what is bad.

It is impossible to completely shield children from all bad news.  We may succeed in keeping part of it away from them, but as they grow older, they will hear more and more.  It takes wisdom to know the amount of information to give children.  Some children are able to handle more than others at certain ages.  The parent is in the best position to know what a child can process.  It is better to help a child with understanding rather than just leave it for the child to have to face alone in the future.  To ignore the bad news completely leaves a child wondering and often confused.

There is no doubt that our children have a great challenge in their future.  We need to do all we can to prepare them.  Nothing is better to prepare them than to give them a foundation of Scripture.  Parents can never go wrong in helping children memorize Scripture.  Taking them to church can go a long way in giving support for spiritual development.  Listening to their concerns and answering to the best of our ability is also important.  It is okay to say, “I don’t know.  Maybe we can figure it out together.”  

It is natural for children to ask why God lets bad people hurt others.  The answer is that God can do everything but one thing.  He created us so that we have the right to choose.  He cannot choose for us.  If He could, we would be like puppets.  He wants us to choose the good and not the bad.  He sees everything and it makes Him sad when people choose wrongly.  He gave us the Bible to tell us how to choose the right way.  He wants us to choose to love Him, not be forced to love Him.  He wants us to choose to love others.  If others were forced to love us, it would not seem like real love.  It is the same with God.  It is important to have a choice and to choose wisely.  

A True Story of a Father’s Love

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

A True Story of a Father’s Love

Note:  The family in this story wishes to remain anonymous, so the names have been changed.

            Every family has its challenges.  One such challenge came to a family consisting of mom, dad, Justin, Jerry, Jane, and James.  The children ranged in age from age six to age 14.  The children were typically well-behaved and good students except for Jerry, the second son who was in seventh grade.  He was well-behaved, but simply did not like the regimentation of school.  He was smart enough, but he wanted to learn at his own pace and only the subjects he was interested in rather than the required lessons.

            When Jerry received his first report card in seventh grade, his mom had a hard time getting him to let her see it.  Finally he quickly handed it to her just as he was getting ready to walk out the door to school after his dad had already gone to work.  Although it was obvious he had taken great pains to make his forgery look realistic, it was just as obvious that a “D” had been changed to a “B” in two cases. Mom took one look and said exactly the wrong thing, “Boy, are you in trouble.  Just wait ‘til your dad sees this!” 

            Jerry decided not to wait until his dad saw the report card.  His mom left for an out-of-town meeting that day and when dad came home from work, Jerry had run away from home!  

            When mom returned from her meeting on Sunday afternoon, she was greeted with four sad faces.  The other children and their dad had searched all weekend, but could not find Jerry.  Mom, knowing how much Jerry liked trains, suggested looking down by the railroad tracks.  Immediately the other three children ran to look and came back saying that they had found him sitting under the railroad trestle.  Mom wanted to hurry and go get him, but dad told her to wait and let the children go.  He was right.  The children went back and talked him into coming home.

            Mom’s first impulse was to grab Jerry and give him a great big hug, but dad had everyone go to the living room and sit down.  When all were seated, dad began by saying, “Kids, your brother doesn’t love you.  He ran away from all of us and not only that, he took your dog.  If he loved you, he wouldn’t have run away.”  All were stunned and sat in silence.  “Jerry,” he said, “what to you think your punishment should be?”  By this time, a few sniffles could be heard from more than one person.  After some consideration, Jerry admitted that he needed to be whipped with a belt. “How many licks should you have?” dad asked.  Jerry finally decided that ten licks would be appropriate.

            Jerry’s dad looked at each family member, one by one, and asked, “Would you be willing to take some of Jerry’s licks?”  Justin said that he hadn’t been the one who changed his report card or run away, so he didn’t think he should have to take any licks.  Jane agreed to take one or two for him.  James agreed to take one or two for him.  Mom was surprised when she was asked if she would be willing to take some of the licks.  After all, she was a parent!  She didn’t agree to take any licks.

            By this time, there was not a dry eye in the house.  Dad handed the belt to Jerry and said, “Jerry, I will take all ten licks for you!”

            Dad got up, leaned across the back of the chair and insisted that Jerry give him all ten licks.  Of course, Jerry did not want to give any licks and started not hitting hard, but dad insisted that he hit him harder.  It was finally over!

            Ir is debatable whether the right tactics were used.  Perhaps things could have been done to prevent the happening in the first place.  One thing, however, is not debatable. This dad loved his son and wanted to do the best he could for him.

            John 3:16 tells us that there is a heavenly Father who loves us so much that he gave his only son to “take our licks” for us on the cross of Calvary.  

            Isn’t it wonderful to have a father’s love?  

Dads Have Trying Times

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book: Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Dads have Trying Times

         Dads who are serious about raising good children will have trials from “cradle to grave”.  Here is one example of a trial our youngest son, Charles, experienced on Mother’s Day.

         Trying to be a good dad, Charles had taken his seven-yr.-old son, Garrett, to buy a present for his mom.  On Mother’s Day, he and Garrett got up early and happily got the gift, took it out of the box, and put it on the porch.  It was a storage unit for the lawn chair cushions.  Mom would really like this!  Garrett excitedly called for his mom to come and see her surprise.

         Garrett’s mom, Kelly, was hurrying around as usual and didn’t want to spoil the occasion by waiting until she could check the younger brother,  23-month old Spencer.  “I couldn’t have been away from him more than ten minutes,” she said.  I didn’t want to spoil the moment, but I kept thinking, “It’s too quiet upstairs.”  She excused herself as quickly as possible and ran upstairs to check on Spencer.  Spencer, who had not been invited to the fun time, had created some fun of his own.  She found him sitting in the bathroom floor splashing in water and having a great time!

         Spencer had been flushing one thing after another down the toilet.  Water was everywhere!  It had even run down into the master bedroom closet and ruined the sheetrock on the walls!  The rest of the day was spent trying to snake out the water line and clean up the mess.  A Dixie cup was found, and a toothbrush was never found.  Finally, it was decided that the toilet would have to be replaced.  A trip was made to town to buy a new toilet.  The new toilet was installed and the sheetrock was removed from the closet walls.  

         I couldn’t resist asking Charles, “Did you get mad at him?”  I was relieved to hear the answer, “Naw.  He’s just too little to understand what he did.”  

         Charles had worked 72 hours the week before at his job.  He had looked forward to a pleasant weekend at home.  This event was certainly a trial of his love for family, and I am happy to say that he came through just fine! I suggested that he would probably have many more such trials before the boys become adults and he assured me that he knew this to be true.

         Although this trial seems bad enough, truth is that as the children grow older, the kinds of trials may change to be heart-rending trials, not just trials that require physical stamina. 

         Hats off to all the dads this Father’s Day, who are surviving or have survived trials of many sorts, because of their love for their children.  May they reflect the love of our Heavenly Father in their daily lives as they are constantly being observed.

Son’s prayer:  Dear God, Make me just like my daddy.

Dad’s prayer:  Dear God, Make me the man my son thinks I am.  

Children Learn from the Past

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and patlambchristiansauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Children Learn from the Past

         Memorial Day is not just for adults.  Children can gain much benefit from participating in Memorial Day traditions.  The holiday provides a wonderful opportunity for parents to tell stories of family history as well as explaining some of the past wars that have been fought for our freedom.  The ritual of decorating graves brings a reality that life on this earth has an ending, and we need to make good use of the time we have here.

         Children can gain a sense of pride from learning of accomplishments of past ancestors.  As they hear stories from parents of the good accomplishments and heroic deeds of relatives, a feeling of “I want to do something heroic, too” is instilled in children.  They gain a higher purpose in life and do not concentrate so much on self pleasure.  Stories of “black sheep” in the family should also be told as examples of what not to become. Children are quite often surprised to hear of both good and bad examples in the family background.  Their lives are greatly influenced by these stories that can come only from the family.

         Memorial Day is a time to remember not only family members who have passed away, but it is also a time to remember those who have fought for our country.  Children should hear this at least every year.  Even if the stories have been told before, they should be told again.  Hearing such stories brings a sense of reality to life that is often lacking in today’s children.  It also instills a sense of appreciation for our country and the freedom we still enjoy.  A walk through many cemeteries in the Ozarks will reveal the small Civil War gravestones of so many who fought in that war.  Just the walk, itself, is a good history lesson for children.

         If decorations are being taken to the graves of past loved ones, let the children hold the decorations and put them in place.  Doing so brings home the reality of death.  Although this may sound a bit gruesome, children need to learn that death is a part of life.  Some people opt to give donations to charities in memory of loved ones rather than spend the money on flowers. In such a case, include the children in the planning process and let them help in any way possible even to the point of using some of their own money.

         A good way to cap off the day’s activities is to have a family picnic or some other family activity.  There will probably be time for games.  At this time of year, outdoor games can be played with the children to make the day a pleasant memory for them.  Nothing makes a child happier than to play games with parents.  They think it is really funny to watch parents run and play. It is especially fun if they can beat their parents in a game.

         Memorial Day can be a day to remember the past, have meaningful fun in the present, and help children be better adults for the experience in the future.

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That Special Day is Coming!

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

That Special Day is Coming

            Mother’s Day is such a special day!  It is a time to reflect about what our mothers were or are like, what those of us who presently are mothers are like, and what mothers should be like.  It is a day in which mothers can almost feel like special saints when they receive so much acclaim.  My, how good it feels!  Then, the next day, quite often, we go back to mundane duties and wondering if what we are doing is really worth it all.

            Can anyone really describe all the duties of a mother?  Those duties are so numerous that the thought of the responsibility is almost overwhelming. And yet, those who are not mothers often cry out to God asking for that gift of a child.  In the book of Samuel in the Bible, we can read about Hannah who prayed so fervently for a child that she was accused of being drunk.  In spite of the daunting task, most women long to be a mother.

            A good mother does whatever is necessary to train a selfish “me” baby to become a responsible, God-fearing person who is an attribute, rather than a liability, to society.  When a baby is first born, its only concern is self.  Hopefully, as the child grows, he/she becomes more and more unselfish and considers what is right and good.  Unfortunately, we still have “big babies” in our society who think only of themselves and their wants.

            A good mother must first of all be unselfish in order to rear a child to be likewise.  She gives up her sleep and comfort to care for that little one during the long hours of the night which become short hours of sleep.  She keeps going for the good of the child even when she is tired. She gives up her desire for a new dress to make sure that the kids have what they need.  Erma Bombeck asked in one of her writings, “Why do mothers always give themselves the bent fork?”  

            A good mother must be patient, realizing that you can’t force a flower to bloom.  Just as a rose bush has some buds that open before others, so is the world of budding children.  God, in His infinite wisdom, created us to grow and blossom at different paces.  

            A good mother needs the wisdom of Solomon to settle conflicts.  Oh, that everything were clear-cut and easy to solve!  Many problems in child-rearing do not have perfect solutions.  Sometimes we just have to choose the better solution, wishing for an opportunity to have the perfect solution later.  Oh, if only all daddies were right there to assist in the spur of the moment to assist in making decisions!!  It is too bad that now there are so many single moms who have to try to be both mom and dad to their children.  There is no daddy to remind the kids to do something special for mom on this special day.  What a tough job they have!

            I know of no better source for the description of a good woman and mom than in the 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible.  It tells us that a good woman is clothed with strength and dignity (better clothing than that new dress she may have to give up.)  It tells us that she watches over the affairs of her household and is not idle.  It also says that her children will arise and call her blessed.  Verse 10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.”  This chapter is a good one to read often to help keep us on track.

            Dads, step up to the plate now and help the children plan to express their love to mom on this special day.  Children need coaching at this time.  While you are at it, plan something for mom yourself to show her that you understand and appreciate her difficult task.  When your day comes, hopefully mom will help the kids show their appreciation to you.  We both need all the encouragement we can get. Right now, plan to make this day special for mom.