Tag Archives: Raising children

Christmas Memories

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Christmas Memories

         Memories of childhood greatly influence decisions of adults.  That is why it is so important for parents and grandparents to make every effort to ensure good experiences for children that will create a good foundation for adulthood.  Christmas is a perfect time for doing so.

         Memories don’t necessarily have to be fun memories.  How a family works together in tough times is a memory that provides direction for a person in adulthood when that person faces difficult times.  Valuable memories do not necessarily require money.  How gifts are given from the heart at Christmas teaches a child that gifts should be given in love and do not necessarily need to be expensive.

         Those of us who lived during the years of the Great Depression are not as alarmed when through the years we hear that the nation’s economy is not doing well. Our memories teach us that we can survive well without many of the things we have come to enjoy.  I’m sure that many others remember, as I do, having a cedar tree cut from the woods for a Christmas tree.  Our tree was often decorated with red and green construction paper chains made in school by cutting strips and pasting the ends together in circles.  We would interlock the red in green, then the green in red, etc.  We made snowflakes by folding white paper and cutting it in various designs.  We would hang the snowflakes on the branches of the tree.  Sometimes, we would make strands of cranberries to drape around the tree.  We always felt important for contributing to the decorations.  

         A few years ago, our youngest son and his wife moved from Kentucky to Arkansas just before Christmas.  We spent Christmas with them sitting among unpacked boxes.  All Christmas decorations were packed away.  On Christmas Eve, we looked at each other and I could tell that our son was feeling a little apologetic for the situation.  I thought hard about what could be done.  I found a pen, reached in a box, pulled out some packing paper, and said, “We each have to make our own stocking.”  We found some scissors, designed our stockings, and laid them on the hearth of the fireplace.  I felt good when I heard our son chuckle.  A memory had been created.

         When my husband and I were working on the Navajo Reservation at Lukachukai, AZ, we had a big snow storm one Christmas.  The mail came only three times a week and during the storm, it could not get through at all. No gifts from our homes came in time for Christmas. We had already given each other our gifts thinking there would be more from our homes in MO and NE to open at Christmas.  On Christmas morning, we sat looking at each other and a bare tree.  That is a memory we will never forget, but it made us appreciate each other more.

         We can be very creative in making memories for children.  Sometimes it is a good thing to be short of money.  It causes us to be more resourceful.  We spoil our own Christmas when we place too much emphasis on “things”.  We should never forget that people are more important than things.  The real basis of the Christmas season is love.  When couples argue over how much money to spend, unpleasant memories are created for their children.  We should not be stingy, but we should never buy beyond our means.  We need to learn to make good use of what we have.  By doing so, we create good memories for children and set a good example for them.

How to Explain Christmas to Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book) www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How to Explain Christmas to Children

         It is easy to get so caught up in the “busyness” of Christmas and forget to take the time to sit down with children and explain why we have the observance.  In addition, some adults feel incapable of coming up with the right words and explaining its meaning so children will understand. Here is a suggested way to tell children the basics of what all should know about Christmas.  It may be told in one’s own words or simply read to children.

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         When the world was created, Jesus was with God.  Jesus is God’s son.  God made Adam and Eve and they began to have children.  Soon there were many people on earth and God told the people what he wanted them to do to worship him.  He gave the Ten Commandments.  He also required them to sacrifice animals to him.  

         The people sinned a lot.  They did not follow the instructions God had given them.  God decided to send his only son, Jesus, to earth to live with people and teach them the right way to live.  John 3:16 in the Bible says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

         Jesus came as a little baby.  He was born in a stable because there was no room for Mary, his mother, and Joseph, His earthly father, anyplace else. Christmas is for celebrating the birthday of Jesus.

 God sent angels to shepherds to announce the birth of Jesus.  When Jesus was about two years old, some wise men saw a strange star and followed it to Jesus.  They took gold, frankincense, and myrrh as gifts to him.  On the way, they stopped to see King Herod who was jealous of Jesus because he had heard that Jesus was going to be a king.  He wanted to kill Jesus, so he asked the wise men to come back and tell him where Jesus was.  They didn’t do it.  Herod ordered all little boys under the age of two killed.  Joseph and Mary took Jesus to Egypt to protect him.  

         When the danger was over, Joseph and Mary went home.  Jesus grew up helping Joseph in Joseph’s carpenter’s shop.  When He was about twelve years old, he was teaching in the temple.  When he was about 30 years old, he began his ministry.  He told many stories to teach us the right way to live, and he healed many people.  When he was about 33 years old, some people got angry with him and decided to try to do away with him.  He was crucified on a cross.  After three days, he came back alive.  We celebrate Easter to remember his crucifixion and his coming back to life.  Jesus was the last sacrifice and people didn’t have to sacrifice animals any more.  

         Jesus stayed on earth for a while; then, he went up to heaven.  He is still alive and wants us all to believe in him and be saved.  If we truly believe in him, are really sorry for our sins, and ask him to save us, he will send the Holy Spirit into our hearts, and when we die, we can live with him forever in heaven.  

Note: My latest book, “My Thinking Book” is an excellent gift for children age 5 or above. Children on third grade reading level or above can read it for themselves. It is a daily devotional book based on Scripture that answers many questions children have. It covers the basics of the Bible such as explanations of the Ten Commandments, Golden Rule, The Lord’s Prayer, etc. It is available on Amazon & Barnes & Noble as well as my website.

Children Build on Successes

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambhristianauthor.com) Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…

Children Build on Successes

         What parent or teacher does not want to teach in such a way as to produce the optimum learning in a child?  Through the ages, much research and experimentation has been done to determine how a child learns best.  All of this research and experimentation along with plain common sense tells us that children learn best when they build on little successes.

         Keeping this fact in mind, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: “How does a child define success?”  “How can a teacher or parent make sure that a child succeeds as that child determines success? How can a teacher or parent keep children progressing at a pace to keep up with expectations of society?

         Children most often define success according to the amount of praise received for a task accomplished.  If the child receives a little praise, the child feels that he/she has done alright.  If a child receives a great deal of praise, that child feels especially good about what has been accomplished and feels success.  Immediately, the child wants to repeat the action to receive more praise.  Success gives a child hope and confidence in ability to achieve.  The child will automatically select activities similar to those for which praise was received.  Conversely, a child will avoid activities where success was not experienced. This demonstrates the need for praising children rather than scolding them. However, the praise should never be false praise. 

Praise needs to be focused on the achievement rather than the child.  Too much praise for the child leads to a child having a feeling of superiority.  We don’t want children growing up feeling they are better than others.  However, we do want them to have confidence in their ability to do a good job.

         It is important that tasks be delegated commensurate with a child’s ability to succeed.  If tasks are too difficult, the child cannot experience satisfaction. There is a value in “instant success”.  When we introduce something new that a child needs to learn, it would be well to take a small portion that is easy to learn and start with that.  When the child succeeds in one little thing, he/she is encouraged to tackle more.  The child has instantly felt success and is eager to experience more success.

         “Chunk learning” is a phrase commonly used in education circles.  It simply means that it is better to take a chunk at a time rather than throw the whole thing at a child all at once.  “Chunk learning” allows a student to feel more success and avoids much confusion in processing information in the brain.  When too much is presented at one time, the child becomes confused and bewildered with information and is often not able to sort through it all and classify it to “file it away” in the mind for future use.  

         It takes understanding on the part of the parent or teacher to know how much to expect children to grasp at one time and still feel successful.  New teachers have been told, “Don’t try to teach them all you know on the first day!”  We need to give information in doses that can be processed in a manner for the child to feel successful.  It is difficult to do this when we think of how very much a child needs to know to survive in our culture.  When teachers are expected to cover a certain amount of material in a certain amount of time, it becomes tempting to speed up to get through the lessons.  It is counterproductive to do so.  It is as if children start “putting on the brakes” when pressure rather than success is felt. No matter what society demands of a person, forcing a child to learn when that child is not ready is like trying to force a flower to bloom.

         Some parents and teachers can readily sense when a child is feeling successful and others seem to go blindly along never knowing when a child is feeling good or bad about something.  Love is the quality that gives understanding.  We need to love the ones with whom we are working.  When we really care, we will want children to succeed and make efforts to teach accordingly.   

It’s Tough to be a Teen

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book) www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

It’s Tough to be a Teen

         I once viewed a video from the Missouri School Board Association that started off with a statement that one out of every five students in Missouri high schools contemplates suicide at one time or another.  What a terrible statistic!  The gentleman speaking went on to encourage all school workers in Missouri to be on the lookout for troubled students.

         Why would teens want to commit suicide?  One of the reasons given by experts is lack of hope.  Another reason is the use of drugs.  A third reason, in my opinion, may be a lack of religious training to educate them with the fact that suicide is not an end, but a beginning of an after life.

         It is difficult for teenagers to cope in society.  Most adults expect teens to be a problem.  This causes teens to feel that it is normal for them to do things they shouldn’t be doing.  I believe, as do many other teachers with whom I’ve spoken, that around age 12 a child comes to a crossroad in life. At this point, the child makes a decision as to whether he/she will try to live a good life or just go for doing what feels good at the moment.  Peer pressure influences this decision greatly.  In addition to peer pressure, children at this age have generally come in contact with many different sets of values.  Each teacher in school has his/her own set of rules and values. Parents have a set of rules and values. If the child comes from a broken home, the rules and values of step-parents have also probably differed. The children have to deal with the values and rules of grandparents from both the real parents and the step parents. Is it any wonder that children become confused?  This is especially true considering the fact that most children have not attended church to learn the real values taught there.

         Hormonal changes at this point in life have a great effect on the child.  Studies show that the cerebellum, the back part of the brain, is actually larger in puberty in proportion to the cerebrum, the front part of the brain.  This causes the teen to act on impulse rather than thinking things through.  It isn’t until about age 20 that the two parts of the brain come to correct proportion.  Rapid growth accompanies the hormonal changes and causes a child to be awkward. One week, when a child reached for a glass of water, the arm was at one length. Soon after, the arm is longer and the brain hasn’t adjusted to the new length, and the child may turn the glass over and spill the water.  On top of all of this, horror of horrors, pimples start appearing on the face!

         While all of these things are happening, children can be very cruel to each other.  Bullying is terrible, but it does exist.  We can’t guard every word that comes from the mouth of someone, but, thankfully, efforts are being made in many schools to stop bullying.

         Is it any wonder that teens are looking for a way out of all of this?  It is too bad that they don’t understand that suicide is not the answer. We need to remind teens that all that is happening is temporary, and if they can hold on, things will get better. 

         The very best thing parents can do is to get their children in a good church that teaches the love of Christ.  If they understand this principle, they will always feel loved.  As they are taught that God has a plan for each life, they experience hope that is so desperately needed.  It is difficult to understand why more parents don’t get their children in church.  It costs no money.  Additional people are concerned for the child’s welfare.  Many activities are provided that are wholesome activities. I could go on and on about the positive values of church and can think of no negative things.  Let’s do what is best for our children and put our personal likes and dislikes aside.

Questions Stimulate Thinking

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…..

Questions Stimulate Thinking

       Telling is not teaching.  Many people seem to feel that if they have told a child something, the child has learned it.  Not true! When a child is told something, or for that matter when any of us are told something, our first response may be, “Well, maybe that is true and maybe it is not true”.  There may even be resistance to being told something, especially if there is even a hint of animosity toward the one doing the telling.

         A much better way to get ideas across is to ask questions.  Any time someone is asked a question, thought processes are required for the person to answer.  The person being asked must weigh in his/her own mind the pros and cons of the point being addressed.  This requires the consideration of many facets of a topic and eventually the person comes up with a conclusion on his/her own.  It is only when we genuinely believe something that we act upon it.  The belief has to become a part of us before it truly affects behavior.  Otherwise, a child being told something may act on it temporarily out of fear or respect for parents or those doing the telling.  When they later are no longer under the control of that person, they may not continue the required behavior. When children become teenagers, if they have already concluded certain things, they will not stop acting accordingly.  Those teenagers who have simply been told to act a certain way and have not come to the conclusion on their own, may completely throw away those principles.

         How do we go about asking questions or what kind of questions do we ask?

         Children need to be asked many “why” questions.  Very young children need to be asked simple questions such as “Why do we wear a coat on cold days?”  Their answers may include things such as to keep from feeling cold, to keep from being sick, to do what others are doing, etc.  Other follow-up questions might be: “What happens to us if we don’t wear coats when it is cold?” “Remember when you were sick last year? Did you forget to wear your coat before that and you got really cold? “With these questions, the child begins to see the connection between keeping warm and getting sick. If he/she has come to that conclusion, in the future the child is more likely to wear a coat without being told.

         In elementary school, questions need to be asked such as, “What happens to people when they use illegal drugs?  Do they affect the mind?  Why do you think those drugs are illegal?  Do many people end up in prison because of drug usage?  What is happening in places where many people use drugs? As children ponder these questions, they begin to conclude that it is going to be harmful to them to use drugs.

         Other questions that can be used over and over are: “Why did you do what you did? How do you think that would make you feel? How do you think the other person feels?” The more probing the questions, the more thinking there is involved.

         True learning has not taken place until a person acts out automatically the principle being taught. Until that happens, we need to keep teaching that principle.

“Where’s Dad?”

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Although many years have passed since our children were young, in my mind I can still see and hear them run into the house excitedly yelling, “Where’s Dad?” At times they were excited to share something with him that they could count on him liking.  At other times, they would come into the house with head down and in a low tone of voice say, “Where’s Dad?”

Whether happy to share something with him, or afraid they were in trouble, they still knew that their dad was there to share happiness, or admonish.(Admonish means to reprimand someone firmly.)

Children need a dad.  God designed it that way.  It seems to me that moms tend to be soft and sympathetic while dads are firmer and more steadfast in expectations.  Children need both, but many children are being raised without both in today’s society.

Many times when I have had book signings with my Scripture-based books, a dad may look at the books and say, “I’ll wait and see what my wife says.  She is the one who deals with that”. It is plain to see that the dad is not taking his responsibility of bringing up his children in the training and admonition of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4 makes it clear that fathers are responsible for the Christian upbringing of their children.  In the absence of the dad, of course, mom must step in and take the responsibility.

Is it possible that the men in our country are somewhat confused as to their role?  Perhaps the “women’s movement” has left many men wondering just what is expected of them.    

Men need to take the responsibility of leading the family in Biblical ways.  Wives need to be careful not to overstep their roles by dominating their husbands and taking the role of Spiritual leader.  Wives are to act in a supportive role.  There will be many times when a wife disagrees with the husband as to his child-rearing methods.  They need to remember that God can speak to the husband and that perhaps he is right and the wife could be wrong. God knows that mothers tend to comfort.  It is hard to watch a child be punished when often it is needed.  Both the father and mother need to pray much for wisdom and fulfill individual roles in raising the children.

Now that our youngest son has two sons of his own, I have watched when they were toddlers run as fast as they could to meet their dad when he came home from work.  “Daddy’s home!”  they would yell as they had arms outstretched for a big hug from dad.  Men who don’t fulfill their fatherly role with their children are missing out on a great deal.  There is no other feeling in the world that compares to a child voluntarily throwing his/her arms around the neck of dad and giving a big hug and kiss. Dads need to be there!

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

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by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book)

Train up a child…

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

         I remember an occasion when we first moved back to the Ozarks that my husband and I decided to go to Aurora to see my brother-in-law.  Since I was raised in the Ozarks and had gone to Branson from Aurora many times, I thought it would be no problem to go to Aurora from Branson. The years away had caused me to forget some very important turns and we found ourselves going around in circles and zig-zagging back and forth.  I thought we would never get to Aurora!

         When children miss a lot of school, their learning takes a similar pattern.  They go to school one day, learn some things, miss school the next day, and forget some things.  Then, when they go back to school, they have to first go back and review or relearn what they learned two days before, try to catch up on what they missed the day they were absent, and at the same time do a full day’s work for that day.  Their learning takes a zigzag pattern.  We all know that we get someplace faster when we can go in a straight line than when we zigzag back and forth. This is why it is so important that children not miss school.

         Actually, children never completely catch up on what they missed while absent.  It is amazing how much a child can learn in one day.  This is especially true of first grade. Children move so rapidly in first grade and it is a foundation for the years to come.  I’ve always had a special place in my mind and heart for first-grade teachers.  They really have to be on top of things.  First grade is where the children learn the sounds that the letters of the alphabet make. If they miss school much, it will affect their reading.  Also, basic concepts of numbers are taught in first grade. Unfortunately, in the past this was the time that children came in contact with most of the childhood diseases and had to miss a lot of school.  Now, due to immunizations, many of these sicknesses have been eliminated. 

         Children should, of course, stay home if they are sick; however, parents should do all possible to keep their children healthy.  Good nutrition, cleanliness, and plenty of rest are very important.  Just as a car must have good gas to run, children should have wholesome food.  Their bodies don’t do well on a diet of pop tarts or sugar cereal.  Their little hands touch so many germs each day! Washing hands often helps keep the germs out of the system.  A good bath each night takes those germs off, so they are less likely to find their way inside the body.  They need to have a regular bedtime.  At bedtime, mom or dad needs to tuck them in and hear their prayers.  At this time, mom or dad can give the child a big hug and say a few words of reassurance to put the child in the right frame of mind to face the next day.  

         We don’t get “do-overs” with our children.  As this school year begins, let’s vow to do all we can to keep the children in good shape for school, keeping in mind that every day in school is an important day for learning.

Heredity, Environment, and Choices

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by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…

 Heredity, Environment, and Choices

         When a little baby makes its first appearance into the world, we all look at it with awe as we realize it to be a miracle from God and wonder what lies ahead for it.  Will the child be president some day?  Will the little girl be Miss America?  Maybe someday this child will discover a cure for cancer!  We go on and on speculating about the child’s future.

         As the child grows, we become more realistic in our expectations.  We begin to realize that what happens in the child’s future greatly depends on us.  We also see characteristics of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or even an aunt, uncle, or cousin.  In addition, we become frustrated when the child decides not to listen to our advice and defy what we so diligently have tried to teach.

         As nurturers, we can only affect the environment of the child.  We can make sure the child gets good food, a good education, and associates with people who may give a positive influence.  We can see that the child has good experiences to increase vocabulary and understanding of the surrounding world.  We can see that the child has clothing and a satisfactory place to live. We can take the child to church and give the child a spiritual foundation. We can make sure that the school is doing a good job in developing the child mentally.  We can make sure that he/she gets involved in sports or does physical activity.  We work very hard at these tasks.

         It is left to our Creator to determine the characteristics of a person.  God’s design is that both the father and mother contribute genes to a child to determine the child’s tendencies upon arrival into the world. Sometimes the child may be a “throwback” to previous generations, surprising the parents and making them wonder, “Where did that action come from?” We are left to work with what we get and raising any child is always a real challenge.  Any parent of two or more children can attest to the fact that there are no two children alike.  

         It can be very disappointing when a child grows up and seemingly wastes the talents inherited and the many efforts of parents who have nurtured tirelessly to help that child succeed in life.  On the other hand, it can be very rewarding when the child chooses to use inherited talents, abilities, and valuable advice received. Ultimately, it is always the choice of any individual as to whether inherited talents and abilities are used and advice is followed.  

         We can never be completely certain of the end product of our children.  We can only do our very best to raise children to influence them to make good choices and to have the tools to use once those choices are made. After all, God did not make us as puppets.  He could have designed us so that He would make our choices, but He chose not to do that. He designed us so that the only thing He cannot do is to choose for us.  In the end, each of us is accountable for self. Our actions are not justified by what our parents did or didn’t do, and it is the same with the children we are raising now.

Dad’s Dilemma

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Dad’s Dilemma

         Dad has a dilemma as he attempts to be head of his home.  That dilemma is how to please mom and, at the same time, “bring home the bacon” and train the kids properly.

         I’m afraid that too many of us as mothers may be too critical of dad and his attempts to discipline and teach the children.  Often, we expect dad to see things just exactly as we see them and do just exactly as we would when they make an effort to direct the children.  If God had intended us both to think the same, he would have made us both the same.  Often dad wields a firmer hand than a mother would.  I believe that is the way it should be.  It seems to be the nature of mom to nurture and cuddle.  Too many times we want to jump in and rescue a child when dad knows that firmness is needed.  Dad doesn’t want to disappoint mom.  This puts him in a tough spot.

         One comedian in Branson joked that a woman’s brain has a four lane highway going from the left brain to the right brain and men have a narrow cow path going from one side of the brain to the other.  This makes women more able to multi-task where men are more apt to think of one thing at a time.  Generally, this is true.  Of course, there are exceptions to all of the research findings.  Some men can multi-task.  For those men who find multi-tasking difficult, it is really hard to come home from work and immediately switch to the role of being a dad.  I remember reading in the 50’s that the wife should wait until the husband has been home from work 20 minutes before she starts telling him about the day with the kids!  Times have certainly changed as now many women are also working outside the home.  However, a man may still find it more difficult to adjust quickly to a different set of tasks from what he faced at work.  Also, many jobs now require the person to be on call for 24 hours. In this case, it is especially difficult to switch the mind back and forth to concentrate on what the children need.

         Many dads hesitate to discipline the children for fear they are not doing it properly.  They want the children to like them, and may fear that they only see him when he is scolding them for something, and will hold it against him.  The truth is that even though children may resent discipline for a time, in the long run there will be more respect for parents when they show that they care enough to risk not being liked for the sake of a child.  As for not being sure of how to discipline and teach properly, dads need to avail themselves of books and other information available to help them learn. 

Dr. James Dobson has written many wonderful books that give insight into how children think and react.  Dads need to visit the school and meet the teachers and get involved with their children’s activities. Also, dad needs to make sure there is a time each week for the family to have devotions and an opportunity for each family member to express any concerns or ask questions. 

         We can all learn and do better when it comes to bringing up the children.  Mom needs to be more patient with dad and dad needs to make more effort to learn about children and communicate with the family.

Note: Summer vacation is a perfect time to train children to do daily Bible readings. “My Thinking Book” is a daily devotional book designed for children to read for self or have read to them. Each day’s devotional is based on Scripture. Available at www.patlambchristianauthor.com, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble.

Teaching Values to Last a Lifetime

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; and “My Thinking Book”

Train up a child…

Teaching Values to Last a Lifetime

         Our country is in a tough situation right now and we need to prepare our children as best we can for what they will have to face as adults.  Since our country is so far in debt, we know that money is likely to be a problem for many families in the future.  Our children may not be able to experience the lifestyles they now know.

         What are some things we can do to help prepare children for the society they are likely to face? There are some tried and true values that serve any person well in any situation.  If children can learn to live without wants and survive on needs only, they will more likely be able to master many of their financial problems. For both needs and wants, children need to learn to be resourceful.  Taking care of what they have and learning not to be wasteful goes a long way in helping to provide the necessities of life.

         Many people in our present society seem somewhat confused when it comes to defining needs vs. wants. Ask almost any young adult and they will tell you that they really need a cell phone, TV, car, and many other things. The truth is that in the past people have lived very well without any of these things.  In some jobs, some of these things are needed, but as far as personal use is concerned, we can do without them with extra effort.  We are reminded every once in a while that we really can’t depend completely on these conveniences.  There are people constantly trying to sabotage our computer systems, and we need to face the fact that there may come a time when we have to do without some of our technology.  

         Giving up what we would like to have naturally leads to a conversation about being resourceful. Questions concerning needs and wants stimulate creativity in thinking.  Even learning about doing without small insignificant things can teach a child the value of being resourceful.  For example, recently I needed a pattern to sew a project for my grandson.  I remembered how my mother used to take newspaper and cut her own patterns when making dresses for my sisters and me.  I did the same and saved a trip to Springfield. This illustrates how children remember the examples set by parents. I remember how my dad would say that my mom could fix anything with a hairpin.  When there was no screwdriver around, mom would use a knife from the silverware drawer. “Necessity is the mother of invention” they say.  Our needs motivate resourcefulness.

         Those who grew up in the depression era were taught not to waste what they had.  They had to write on both sides of paper.  They were scolded when pencils were “ground away” in pencil sharpeners.  They knew how to recycle before recycling became popular!  Now, thousands of dollars are wasted in schools and businesses by people using the copy machine and using paper to copy only one sentence, or not using the back of paper to copy things that are for temporary use only. Adults need to set the example of valuing what they have and not wasting it.

         We cannot anticipate everything that children need to know to face in their future, but we can go a long way by teaching the values of resourcefulness and stewardship.  When they can truly determine the difference between needs and wants, they will be more able to set priorities in money management.