Tag Archives: parenting

Motivating Children to Learn

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Motivating Children to Learn

            We’ve come a long way in education from the days when my dad would walk to school barefoot and have children laugh at him and spit on his feet.  He, as well as many other children of his day, endured such things because they wanted an education so desperately.  We’ve all heard the story of how Abraham Lincoln used charcoal to write and studied in the light from the fire in his cabin.  There was no talk of how to motivate children to learn at that time. Rather, the concern was for how to give children the opportunity to satisfy their longing to learn.

            Understanding the reason those of the past wanted to learn so badly helps us understand why children have the problem being motivated to learn now.  Was it not that those individuals of the past wanted to better their often miserable lives?  They had hope that an education would help them gain things that would make life easier.  Contrast that motivating factor to today’s children who already have things pretty easy in most cases and have no hope to make life any better.  In the film “The Student”, Rodney Dangerfield had one word of advice to those who were graduating and getting ready to face the world on their own.  That word was “don’t”.  He said, “Stay at home with your mom and dad”.  That pretty much sums up how the younger generation feels about their future.  The children are feeling pretty comfortable where they are.  In addition, if they are not comfortable, they are pretty sure someone will jump in and rescue them, so why worry about their future?

            Knowing the reasons for lack of motivation forms the basis for choosing what to do to correct today’s problem.  First of all, children must understand a need for learning.  They must also develop an appreciation for the opportunity to learn. Both of these needs require straight talk giving information that many of our children have not been given.  

            In a well-meaning effort to shield our children of worry and to ensure they have a happy childhood, we have robbed them of a facet of education they sorely need.  They need to know that there is a good chance that they may not always have life so comfortable unless they prepare themselves well.  They need to be informed of enough current events and the situation of our country to understand that the future is not all that bright for them.  They need to be a little frightened.  Small children do not need the “full dose” of our country’s situation, but they need to know enough to sense the importance of being prepared for their future.  As they grow older, they need to obtain added information.

            The development of appreciation for their opportunity to learn can be difficult. Most appreciation, however, comes from the home.  Parents need to make efforts to be friendly and appreciative to a child’s teacher to set a good example.  It doesn’t hurt for the child to know how schools were in the past and what people went through to get an education. It is a good thing for them to contrast the past with the present.  It is human nature to want the things we can’t have and to not want the things that are forced on us.  A “what if” scenario is helpful to enlighten children about what the future holds. “What if you couldn’t go to school and learn?” is a good question to ask to help children appreciate what they have. Actually, the Covid virus fear has caused some children to experience not being able to go to school.  However, I’m not sure if many actually miss the learning or if most simply want to be back with friends.  At least, it is causing some to have to consider what life would be like without school.  

            Children need to know what their education costs.  Putting a price tag on each item in a classroom is an eye-opener for most.  Simply being told the amount of money it costs per student per year also enlightens.  Having a real person tell what was paid from his/her income for the school in taxes the previous year is helpful.  Children need to know these things. Teachers could give each child “play money” and require them to “pay” for the items being used in class.

            Most teachers, parents, and church workers like to use what are actually bribes in some cases to try to motivate.  These are temporary stop-gap measures at best.  Candy, pizza, field trips, and prizes are a few of the bribes or rewards frequently used.  There is a place for some of these to help make learning more pleasant.  We must realize, however, that if these kinds of rewards are done extensively, by the time a child gets to upper grades, they no longer are special.  In an effort to have more and more excitement, the student may turn to drugs or other things in order to get self pleasure.  They become bored with the “same old things”. Children are not motivated by things that are easily obtained because they are not special.  They keep looking for more and more. Unfortunately, children are often given the prize, bribe, or reward without really deserving it.  That can only add to the feeling of “Why should I do the work since I will be rewarded anyway?  I’m comfortable the way I am!”

            Each child is unique and motivation must be chosen according to that child’s background and present circumstances.  However, “Necessity is the mother of invention” and unless a child understands the necessity of an education, that child will not be motivated to make the effort to learn. We practice what we truly believe.  Unless a child truly believes that an education is important, that child will not be motivated to learn no matter what we do.

Children Need Help Making Friends

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Need Help Choosing Friends

         Most children are very concerned about whether or not they have friends.  They not only want to have friends, but they want to have many friends.  There are some things that children need to understand early about friendship. They need to know the definition of a friend, how to choose a friend, and that no matter how hard they try, they will never have everyone as a friend.

         It is too bad that so many children get confused as to what a good friend really is.  They often think that just because someone plays with them or pays attention to them, that that person is a friend.  A true friend is someone who wants what is best for a person.  A true friend is someone that you don’t have to worry about pleasing all the time because you know that the friend will stick with you even when you make a mistake.  

         Since children worry about being liked, they often tend to do whatever they think another person will like.  Most children tend to think that friends just happen.  It is important to develop an attitude in a child that friends can be chosen.  It isn’t necessary to just accept anyone who comes along as a friend.  The Bible tells us that in order to have friends, we must be friendly to others.  The best way to make friends is to choose someone the child would like to have as a friend and show that person kindness and understanding. Often that person is someone who may be rejected by others.  Since that person may have experienced rejection, he/she knows how it hurts to be rejected.  This instills a quality of faithfulness to others to prevent hurting someone as he/she has experienced. 

         On Valentine’s Day, children tend to count valentines to see who got the most.  Those who get very few go home from school feeling sad.  Those who get many go home feeling elated.  True love and friendship is much more than giving a valentine, although it is nice to have a day set aside to think about love and friendship.  Valentine’s Day provides a good opportunity to teach children that true love and friendship puts the other person first. It isn’t a matter of how many valentines someone got, but rather whether the child is doing what is right to be a friend to others. Children need to know that most people are very blessed to have even a few good friends.  

         The Bible also says that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.  A person who has true friends- the kind that stick with you-is rich indeed.  The story of David and Jonathan in the Bible is a good story to read to children about friends to give an understanding of true friends.  

         There is no way that anyone can ever be liked by everyone.  We waste time trying to please everyone.  Children can learn that sticking to principles is more important than trying to please everyone.  They need not feel badly when someone does not like them or want to be a friend to them.  Understanding this at a young age will prevent some of the peer pressure problems that often come in the teens.  After all, even Jesus was not liked by everyone.  Why should any of us think that we will be liked by everyone? 

Encouraging Young Readers

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Encouraging Young Readers

         Getting a child interested in reading at an early age is imperative to producing good readers for a lifetime.  Most children are eager to learn to read unless something has happened to discourage them. It makes them feel “big” and like older sisters and brothers or their mom and dad.  When this eagerness is present, teaching reading is easy. Some children, however, need some extra “oomph” to get them started reading or to stimulate them to want to read more and more.

         Of course, the first thing for any reader is to learn the alphabet and the sounds of the letters.  I remember teaching kindergarten near the Navajo reservation when I had the children say the letters of the alphabet each morning as I pointed to them.  We also said sounds for the letters.  Then, each day during rest time, I allowed the children to take books to their mats.  By the end of the school year, children were popping up like popcorn and excitedly exclaiming, “Teacher, I can read!”  I had also had group times with the children and put together words in the word families such as “cat, hat, sat, mat, pat, rat, bat, fat, rat, tat, and vat”.  I was careful to put no pressure on them to force them to learn to read. Had I tried to force them to read, they would not have enjoyed it so much.  I was privileged to have this same group of children to teach in second grade and they tested well above the national average in spelling.  One little Navajo boy always kept a book on the corner of his desk. As soon as he finished his math or other work, he would grab his book and start reading. Two years before, when he started kindergarten, he did not know how to speak English.  Reading helped him speak English as he learned about the things written in the books. 

         One way to stimulate interest in reading is to sit with the child and write a story that the child dictates and make it into a book.  It should be a real life story.  I did this with my three-yr.-old granddaughter about picking raspberries.  She illustrated the book with crude pictures.  We read the book together several times.  She soon had it memorized.  She would sit on the couch with her legs crossed under her and read the book aloud over and over by herself.  

         For children who have learned to read and like to read a great deal, it is important to see that the correct reading material is provided.  In my opinion, many children’s books have little or no value other that saying words.  There are many good books that can help shape the character of a child.  

         A good rule of thumb for any reading material selected for children is to have the child read one page of the selected book.  If five words are missed on that page, the book is too difficult and an easier book should be selected.  It is important that children have books on an easy enough level to enjoy reading.  It is human nature to want to repeat those things that are enjoyable.  It is also human nature to want to avoid those things that are difficult or unpleasant.  

         A child who can read fluently discovers a whole new world.  It is easy to teach a child to read if we are patient and reflect the joy of reading through our own actions.

A Child’s Choices Have Consequences

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Child’s Choices Have Consequences

         Unfortunately, many people go through life thinking they can do whatever they want without thinking about the effects their actions may have on themselves or others.  Children need to learn early in life that all choices have consequences.  Good choices have good consequences, bad choices have bad consequences.  Knowing this fact motivates a child to make choices carefully.  Realizing this fact will motivate parents to make sure that children experience consequences of their actions and not be enablers.  

         The younger a child is, the more impulsive is that child.  As the child grows older, s/he should act less on impulse and more on consideration of choices.  Young children tend to think only of self and do not consider the effect their actions may have on others. Unfortunately, many seem to never develop past this stage. 

         My dad told my sisters and me that when he was young, his dad had him drive a nail in a tree whenever he did something unacceptable.  He could remove the nails only by doing a good deed for each nail.  He worked and worked until one day all the nails had been removed.  When he showed his father, my grandfather said, “I’m proud of you son, for getting all the nails removed, but just remember, the scars are still there.” This activity drove the point home that actions have outcomes that can last a long time. It does away with the idea that a child can quip “I’m sorry” and run away thinking all is taken care of only to repeat the action again.  

         When parents are helping children with decision-making, it is a good thing to question the child as to the feelings and effects  on others. Doing so, helps the child to think beyond self. Another thing that parents can do is to point out consequences that might be imposed by law for certain actions. This is especially needed for teens. It is unfair to wait until a child does something wrong and then punish the child if s/he hasn’t been informed ahead of time that the action is unacceptable. We need to do more to teach children about family rules and society rules and point out specific consequences for disobeying those rules.  After doing so, follow-through with the consequences is a necessity.

         A director of a facility that houses troubled teen boys once told me that some of the boys had stolen a vehicle and the law did nothing to them.  There was no punishment; therefore, the boys thought they could get by with doing it again.  It is important that children know ahead of time, if possible, what the consequences of their behavior will be and then it is the responsibility of adults to follow through with those consequences.  When we allow children to get by with things they should not do, we become enablers to their inappropriate behavior. We are doing the child no favors! Often parents are prone to intercede and rescue a child from a consequence.  When parents keep doing that, the child does not learn about consequences of behavior.

         Perhaps if more adults had been taught when they were young that choices affect others, and that all choices have consequences, we would have many less heartaches in our society. People would be more careful with choice of words and actions, and the world would be a much nicer place in which to live. 

Checklists: Real Voice Savers

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

Checklists:  Real Voice Savers

         Have you ever found yourself yelling at the kids?  Dr. James Dobson says that trying to direct children by yelling is like trying to drive a car by honking the horn.  Have you ever thought about how tired you get telling the kids things over and over?  There is a better way.

         Now, at the beginning of the new year, is a good time to make sure everyone understands individual responsibilities.  If responsibilities, consequences, and rewards are discussed now, things will go smoothly during the year.  Consequences and rewards need to be clarified so there is no misunderstanding later.  Then, when children face consequences, it is by their own choice, not the parents, because they clearly understood ahead of time what would happen according to the choices they made.  No heated discussions need occur.  Parents can simply say, “I’m sorry that you made that choice.  You knew what the consequences were when you made your decision.”

         Making checklists can not only save your voice, but they can save much time and effort.  You may say, “But I don’t have time to make a checklist!”  Believe me, it takes less time to make a list than to repeat the same thing over and over and then backtrack to see that things have been done.

         Start with making a list of chores that children need to do.  It helps to have the children actually do the list themselves with your input.  Children have a pretty good sense of what they can and can’t do. Our daughter, a single mom, used to have her children sit at the dinner table while she cooked the evening meal and do their homework and make out a list of what they needed to do the next day.  It worked beautifully.  The next day, she simply looked at the list to see what had been checked off.  If something had not yet been done, they discussed that evening how it could be accomplished.  They worked as a team.  The children fixed their own lunches in the morning before school and were able to do so because they had discussed ahead of time what they would have and listed those items.  After a few times, the list was not needed.  They knew what to do without the list.

         When our daughter’s children were in upper elementary and high school, a color-coded chart was put on the refrigerator.  It could be told at a glance what had or had not been accomplished.  When something was not done, our daughter simply said, “Dylan, I noticed that you haven’t checked off ________.  When do you plan to do it?”  The children were responsible for the task but were permitted to “trade off” with each other if soccer practice or something else interfered.  If they wanted to go to a friend’s house, they knew that they could not go unless chores were done, and they didn’t even bother to ask.  

         I’ve never heard our daughter yell at her children.  When Dylan was in college and LeAndra was a senior in high school, they both were very responsible individuals and made good grades. LeAndra actually took her senior year online and was salutatorian of her online class. She now has a Master’s degree in civil engineering and is doing very well with her job at an engineering firm in Denver.  Dylan is doing well working at Trader Joe’s in California.

         If you haven’t tried checklists, I encourage you to do so.  They really work!

When Children Get Sick

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by Pat Lamb (Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

When Children Get Sick

         When children get sick, as they inevitably do, we often ponder about how much to “baby” them or just how to care for them.  What mother has not sat by the side of a sick child and thought, “I’d rather it were me feeling that way than my child”?  It hurts us emotionally while at the same time it is hurting the child physically.

         Of course, we try to do all we can to prevent that sickness in the first place.  We encourage the children to wash their hands often, singing “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing with soap and warm water to make sure the hands are scrubbed long enough to get clean.  We do our best to make sure the child has plenty of fruit and vegetables in the diet to provide the vitamin C and other nutrients needed to fight the germs.  We try to see that the child is dressed properly for the cold weather, and we try to keep the child away from places where we know germs are present.  In spite of all our care, we often feel at least a little guilt when the child gets sick as we wonder if we did all we could have done to prevent the illness.

         There are actually some positive things that come from sickness.  One such positive learning is that children come to realize that they are vulnerable.  Many young people often feel as though they can do anything and nothing bad will ever happen.  Sickness teaches a child that we each need to be careful with how we care for ourselves. A time of sickness in the home can become a time of bonding between family members as all pitch in and help the sick one.  The sick child may learn to appreciate the love and care of others.  A third benefit is a possible development of sympathy and understanding of others when they become sick.  It seems that we can never truly appreciate the feelings of others until we, ourselves, have experienced what they are going through.  People who seldom get sick often are impatient with those who do get sick more often.

         How much care should be given to a sick child?  In my opinion, we need to take advantage of this time to “coddle” the child a bit.  There are, of course, occasions when this is not true.  If a child starts to take advantage of the extra attention, we need to back off.  When a child is truly sick, however, that child needs assurance of love and care.  We need a balance of not seeming overly concerned but, at the same time, children need to know that we wish the best for them. To this day, I can remember my mom’s hand on my forehead when, as a child, I would get sick and throw up.  I’m sure that hand did no physical good, but it showed that she cared.  Another memory is a time when my dad brought a pretty colored ear of corn from the field for me when I had tonsillitis.  

         Should a child be allowed to watch TV?  Yes, but only educational programs. Should a child do homework?  The child should do homework only if he/she is not feeling too badly.  I would not force it but would check occasionally to see if he/she feels like it, and then I would give assistance. Should a child be allowed to get up and run around?  Generally, we need to allow a child to do what that child feels like doing until the temperature has been normal for at least 24 hours.  Then the child probably needs to go back to school.  Sometimes, medicine can make a child feel better while he/she is getting worse.  This may be the case when medicine is given to treat symptoms only and the medicine does not treat the cause of the symptoms.  

         We probably will not do everything perfectly when our children get sick.  We simply try to give proper physical and emotional care to the best of our ability and pray that the Great Physician will do whatever else is needed.  

Good Manners Make Holidays More Enjoyable

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come, Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Good Manners Make Holidays More Enjoyable

         It is good that families can get together for the holidays, but it is even better when all involved in those get-togethers mind their manners.  Unfortunately, it would seem that there are those who have not learned what good manners are. It is the responsibility of parents to teach children to stop and think before they act and to set a good example.  Sometimes, in the search for enjoyment, many feel that they can throw good manners away and simply do what feels good for self.

         The basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others.  When we consider the comfort of self only, we are neglecting good manners.

         Both the host home and parents should set ground rules for behavior.  When visiting the home of another, we should live by the rules of that home.

Parents need to check with the host home for special rules ahead of time and talk to the children about their behavior.  The host or hostess should mention in a nice way what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.  If there are special considerations, these should be included.  For instance, elderly people, especially those who are not well, do not like loud noises.  No one likes to have others bother their belongings.

         Following are a few suggestions for the host home:

  • Put breakable things out of reach of two-year olds and younger.  Understand that two-year-olds are still checking boundaries and will not obey when told one time.  They simply must be told over and over and watched to see that they obey.  Much effort can be avoided by simply putting some things away.  Make sure all medications are put safely away.
  • When children age three and older bother things, simply take the time to put an arm around them and explain why those things shouldn’t be bothered.
  • Be careful how guests are welcomed.  When children hear, “Just make yourselves at home”, they think you really mean it.
  • Understand that most children want approval.  When children act nicely, seize the opportunity to praise them.  Once they are praised, they will begin to repeat that action.
  • Treat children with respect as you would an adult.
  • If possible, plan activities appropriate for children to give them something enjoyable to do while adults visit.

Here are some suggestions for the guests:

  • Under no circumstances should children be allowed to open cupboards or drawers to investigate contents. 
  • Children should not touch or fondle breakable objects nor bother electronic equipment.
  • Children should not be allowed to run inside the house.
  • Children should use “inside voices”.  They should say excuse me if they must interrupt someone who is speaking, or they should not interrupt at all.
  • Children should never look in the refrigerator or help themselves to something unless invited to do so.
  • Children should use good table manners.

If effort is spent planning ahead by setting ground rules and teaching manners, everyone will enjoy the time together and good memories will be formed.

Choosing Gifts for Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Choosing Gifts for Children

            When our children were young, there were some Christmas days that my husband and I would look at each other in bewilderment as we watched our children open their presents, set them aside, and start playing with the cardboard boxes they came in! We had put much time and effort into selecting what we thought was just the right gift, yet they enjoyed the boxes more than what they had contained. It is easy to spend a good deal of money and time and still not come up with the right gift. 

         We all like to see children have fun and be happy on Christmas morning.  It is a temptation to overspend to make sure that the children will not be disappointed.  Sometimes we buy a gift, and then not feeling sure we chose the right gift, we go and buy another gift.  Where does it stop?

         It is great to give a gift that the kids really like and have fun with.  It is even greater if they can have fun and learn something valuable at the same time.

         Money spent on educational toys is money well invested.  It is unfortunate that there are also toys on the market that have little or no learning value and break easily.  Those toys are a waste of money.  Some last only a few minutes.  We, as parents and grandparents, need to use wisdom in deciding whether the toy asked for by a child is really the best purchase.  I have never been excited over Disney creations.  They may be alright but what do they really teach?  I see very little, if any, learning value in them.  Barbie dolls may actually have a negative effect on children.  After all, what kind of goals do we want our children to have?  I was glad when our daughter decided that she did not want to encourage our granddaughter to get excited about Barbie dolls.  Someone gave our granddaughter a Barbie book when she was small.  I was astonished when I read it to her and found what the book was about. Barbie was sad because she wasn’t going to get to model in a show until another model broke her leg, and she got the job after all.  Are we teaching our children to profit by the misfortune of others?

         We need to consider, also, that many toys are made overseas.  We may want to wash or sterilize some before the children play with them.  They may be made in factories that are not sanitary and come on ships a long way.  Someone told me that they worked one Christmas season unpacking toys that came from overseas and a big blue bug flew out of a box.  Everyone was sent out of the room while it was fumigated.  The children who got those toys not only got toys that had had bugs on them, but had also been sprayed with insect killer.  

         Let us keep our emotions under control and carefully think through the selection of gifts for our children.  

Children and Santa

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Santa

       For a long time, Santa has been our society’s focal point of Christmas.  He, no doubt, has sold many million dollars worth of toys.  He has produced much laughter.  He has caused the eyes of children to light up.  In reality, he has been the only reason many people observe Christmas.

         What is the current status of Santa?  Our computer-literate generation of children is not easily fooled.  In truth, how many of us grown-ups ever really believed in Santa?  Some children were fooled simply because they believed that their parents would never lie to them.  Others believed because they thought that by believing, they might get more gifts. Many of us could easily see the impossibility of someone flying around the whole world in one night and stopping at each house and going down each chimney.  We felt that it was insulting our intelligence to expect us to believe such a far-out story.  

         Today, we have many fat Santas at malls, department stores, parades, etc.  Do we really think that our children are not intelligent enough to figure out that they are too big to fit in a chimney?  Even a toddler can question why there are so many Santas.  

         A bigger question involves the feelings of a child who truly believes in Santa because he trusts his parents to never lie, and then finds out that the parents did, indeed, lie to him/her.  What happens, then, when the parents tell the child about an invisible Jesus?  For that matter, can the child believe the parents at any time if they deceived them with a Santa?  

         Our children cannot be shielded from Santa.  Our society sees to it that Santa is visible over and over.  It is a situation we must deal with.  We don’t want to rob our children of the fun of Christmas, but, at the same time, we don’t want our children to lose trust in us. A parent cannot avoid making a decision as to how to handle Santa.

         One idea for parents is to tell the children that to pretend there is a Santa is a fun game that is played at Christmastime.  Just as children play pretend in other areas, parents play pretend with the child about Santa. When little girls play pretend “mommy” with dolls, or little boys may play pretend” soldier with army toys, they do not really think they are grown.  It is alright to play pretend as long as children can come back to reality. This stimulates creativity. By letting the children know up front that Santa is a pretend game, future disappointment is eliminated.  It would be a good idea to explain that Santa represents giving and making others happy.  That is something that Jesus wants us to do. 

         Santa will probably be around for a long time to come, but deceiving children should end. We should never lie to children.   

         It is important that we create a pleasing experience for children at Christmas without leaving them with the feeling at a later time that they have been deceived.  Different personalities handle this in different ways.  Ultimately, whatever means is used, children should be left with understamding the real meaning of Christmas.  Children need to understand that Christmas is a celebration of the time that God sent his only son into the world to show His love for us.  

True Thankfulness

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambhristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

True Thankfulness

I remember how good it felt when our children were small and they would run to us, throw their arms around our neck and say, “Thanks, Mom”, or “Thanks, Dad”.  There was no doubt in our minds that they really meant it.

Sometimes, we may feel “guilted” into saying thanks.  We keep hearing others say that we should be thankful, so we try to be thankful when we are not really feeling it.  Our kids may be feeling the same way.  After all, how can we really be truly thankful if we have never had to do without the things we have.  We don’t miss what we have always had. It seems that we may, in some cases, have to do without in order to be thankful when we receive.  There is an old expression, “You never miss the water until the well runs dry.  There is a lot of truth in that!

What can we do to help our children be truly thankful?  In columns past, I have advocated playing games with the children by doing without certain things.  Such things as flipping the switch on the electric box for a half day, or going without a meal or two are suggestions I have made.  In addition, I would like to recommend that children learn more about history and how pilgrims and others suffered in the early times of our country.  Now, while we are so concerned about a virus, it would do us all good to remember that when our country was settled, there were no vaccines for smallpox, diphtheria, polio, tuberculosis, measles, mumps, whooping cough, tetanus, etc.  All food had to be grown or found in the forest.  Many pilgrims starved or died from disease.  

Another way to teach thankfulness is to have children earn some of their belongings.  We all appreciate more the things we are invested in.  Some parents give teens an allowance and require them to budget and plan for their own wardrobe.  It is surprising how unimportant some of the name brands become when they find they can buy something similar for much less money.  We did this with our children when they were teens.  At the time Izod was very popular.  Our daughter was so proud when she came home from the mall with three tops for what she would have paid for one Izod shirt.  

Children need to be taught at an early age to say “Thank you” whether they really mean it or not to get them thinking about what it means to be thankful.  As we can, however, we need to help them to be truly thankful for the things they have.  This should be more than just the material things mentioned, but also the love of family and God.  

It is not enough to simply tell children to be thankful.  Parents need to be creative in finding ways to help them be truly thankful for the love they have, the country they live in, and the God who watches over them and provides for them.  Without God, we would have nothing!