Tag Archives: Raising children

Our Children Face an Uncertain Future

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book (a devotional book for children)

Train up a child…

Our Children Face an Uncertain Future

         There is a lot of concern in our country at the moment about the issues our children and grandchildren will have to face when they become voting age.  Never before has our country been so far in debt.  In recent years, we have seen one disaster after another in our country.  Our concern for the future of our children is justifiable.

         The question naturally follows, “What can we do to prepare our children for their future?”  There are at least three things I would suggest. In all generations, children need to be given a firm spiritual foundation.  In addition, children need to be informed about the happenings in society, and they need a sufficient education to equip them to be able to cope with finances.

         There is an inborn curiosity about where we came from and why we are here.  If this curiosity is not satisfied at an early age, the search continues into adulthood whether admitted or not.  Sometimes the curiosity is suppressed, but many times children grow up and join cults.  Sometimes they place their hope in owning things or gaining prestige.  They may turn to the “god” of popularity.  Any number of things may be chosen as their god. Time, energy, talents, and money are used in the direction chosen.  On the other hand, if children are given a good spiritual foundation in understanding the Bible and its teachings, their lives are turned in the right direction and time, talents, money, and energy are not wasted on things that really do not count in the long run.  Children who grow up with no spiritual foundation are like a ship tossed here and there in a storm.  They have no anchor.  It has been said that if we go whatever way the wind blows, we will someday be caught in a whirlwind.  Children need a strong, secure anchor.

         The spiritual foundation is, without a doubt, the most important thing that children need to face the future.  In addition, children need to be informed about happenings in society.  They cannot handle having all the problems dumped on them at once.  Parents need to take time and explain happenings in small doses as the child is able to handle the information.  Unfortunately, most children grow up with fragments of information gleaned by overhearing parents complain about political situations.  Parents often find it difficult to keep emotions out of discussions involving our country.  It is alright to interject opinions, but to truly understand, it is helpful for children to know how others reason their convictions.  The word “information” is the key.  Children can surprisingly understand much more than we often give them credit for. If we give them facts, they can often reason truth for themselves.

         Our country is behind several other countries in education.  Our children need to be encouraged by parents to have the right attitude toward learning.  Math is so critical in all areas of life.  Of course, reading is important as well, but in recent years more attention has been given to reading and many children are insufficient in math.  Children need to be taught thriftiness at home. By figuring money saved, math is taught.

         We have a gigantic task in front of us to truly prepare the children for what they are facing.  We must give our best effort to do so. 

“Children are People, Too”

Uncategorized,

by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

“Children Are People, Too”

         When our youngest child, Charles, was in kindergarten, his teacher posted on the door of his classroom, “Children are people, too”.  At first I wondered what she was talking about.  Of course, children are people, too.  Then I started thinking about times when I had talked with other adults and left my children standing quietly without joining in the conversation.  I began to notice other adults and how so often they would talk and forget about the children listening to everything they said.  Sometimes, parents would talk about their children while the children were standing right in front of them.  It was almost as though they thought the children were deaf and did not hear their comments.  I remembered a time when my husband and I had done this very thing.

         When Charles was still small enough to sit on the armrest between my husband and me, (car seats for children were not required then), my husband and I were driving somewhere and having a conversation about a person we were concerned about.  Charles was sitting quietly between us.   We were driving along, expressing one opinion after another, when Charles suddenly spoke up and said, “Don’t forget, Mom, God hears everything you say!”  I was stunned.  My husband and I were not only reminded of what we had been teaching him, but we were also  reminded that children hear everything we say in their presence.

         When I was very young, my mom would make dresses of printed chicken-feed sacks for my sisters and me.  She would starch and iron them and dress us up with ribbons in our hair.  Every Saturday afternoon, she would load up her crate of eggs, and we would go to Monett, MO to sell them.  Part of this ritual was a trip to the J.C. Penney store.  On one such occasion, one of my mom’s acquaintances came up to her and started talking.  The lady looked down at my sisters and me and said, “Ethel, you have such pretty girls. I don’t know how you do it.  They always look so nice!  Every one of them is so pretty!”  My four sisters and I stood there in our starched and ironed feed sack dresses feeling so very proud.  As the lady said her goodbyes and started to leave, she looked down at me and said, “Now, Ethel, is this one yours, too?  She doesn’t look like the rest of them!” True, my hair was blonde; theirs was dark brown. Their hair was curly; mine was very straight. I felt so ugly!  I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling!

         When children are around, let’s include them in our conversations.  They learn to converse as we treat them with respect and talk to them as equals.  At church, shake hands with the children as though they are just as important as adults, because they are.  Let’s be careful about the comments we make in the presence of children.  Let’s remember, “Children are people, too.”

Plan a Meaningful Easter

Uncategorized, , , ,

by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Plan a Meaningful Easter

         Easter is the most important holiday of the year.  Without Easter, Christmas would lose its importance.  For this reason, we should put much effort into making sure that children understand the real meaning of the time as well as enjoying the holiday to create a pleasant memory.

         Many would like to do away with the great amount of commercialism that accompanies Easter. Realistically, that isn’t likely to happen.  It would seem to me that the best way to deal with the commercialism is to adapt it to positive learning.  Egg hunts are fun.  Children who are not allowed to participate will probably resent it.  Why not simply tell the children that the eggs represent new life that we can find in Jesus.  We are promised in the Bible that if we seek, we can find that new life. Easter baskets can be explained as a way that parents show love to children by giving gifts just as God gave the best gift of all, his Son. I don’t know many children who are truly tricked into thinking that a rabbit brings an Easter basket.  In my opinion, it is best to tell the children that the Easter bunny is part of a game that adults like to play with children. Those who choose to purchase new clothes can tell children that we want to look our best for church and that the new clothes symbolize the new life we can find when we believe Jesus died on the cross and rose again, repent, and invite the Holy Spirit into our lives. 

         What better time than Easter to teach John 3:16.  All children should know this verse that says, “For God so loved the world that he gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”.  In addition to teaching the verse, the family needs to attend the church of choice on Easter. Most churches have special services. There is no better way to teach children than through visual demonstration. Many churches provide thought-provoking drama that help all to understand Easter.

         It is sad to think that so many people in our country do not know the meaning of Easter.  When Tim Tebow wrote John 3:16 under his eyes while playing football, it was reported that approximately two million people googled the Internet to find out what it was.  Our children have a great deal to face in their adulthood.  Hopefully, we can make sure that those children with whom we personally come in contact will have the spiritual foundation they need to deal with the issues facing them. One way to help give children this needed spiritual foundation for the future is to make Easter meaningful.

Patience: A Characteristic of Love

Uncategorized, , , , ,

Train up a child…

Patience:  A Characteristic of Love

         If asked, “Do you love your children?” most parents without hesitation would reply, “Yes, I love my children!”  Most parents probably do think that they love their children.  However, when we examine the true definition of love, we might find ourselves falling short in this area.  

         If we examine definitions of love, we find that the 13thchapter of I Corinthians in the Bible lists the qualities present when there is love.  One of those qualities listed is patience.

         Do we have patience with our children?  In the hurry and scurry of everyday living, we can easily expect too much too soon from those around us.  It is not easy to wait for children to develop skills and make decisions at their own pace.  We sometimes forget that we cannot force a flower to bloom.  With plants, we water, nourish, and prune but the growth comes from within the plant.  So it is with children.  We nourish, and prune (discipline) and provide experiences and advice, but we cannot force the child to grow.  That growth comes from within the child.

         Unfortunately, some parents have a fixed image in mind of what they want the child to be when he/she grows up.  We have all heard of the football player who wants a son to be a football star, etc. In such a situation, the parent may be very impatient and take out his own disappointment on the child.  We need to realize that certain traits are inherent in children at birth.  Again, using gardening as an example, we cannot change a carrot to a radish; we can only try to develop a better carrot or radish.  With children, we need to cultivate those good tendencies or skills that came with them at birth.  We waste time and cause much frustration when we try to force children to be something other than what they are capable of.  We need to be patient as we help them develop into what their Creator designed them for.  

         It is important in the matter of discipline to be able to discern the difference between a mistake and intentional belligerence.  We would be naïve to think that children are born with only good intentions. Intentional belligerence requires immediate discipline.  Mistakes of a child, on the other hand, require our patience and teaching. Probably every child needs admonition at one time or another.  When our children are intentionally naughty, even though we must discipline them, we need to be patient in understanding that they are no different from other kids in that respect.  We should never make a child feel that there is no hope for improvement. I’ve known some parents who seem to really just grind their children down until the child feels there is no hope. Our patience with them gives hope. Without hope, children may either give up or become rebellious.  

         We can’t expect children to be as accomplished as we are.  We have several years of learning ahead of them.  When they seem awkward and break things, it may be because they are growing longer arms and legs and haven’t learned to adjust to the extra size yet.  When they don’t make the right decisions, it may be because they haven’t acquired all the facts and understanding they need to make those decisions.

         Patience is more than a virtue.  Patience is an indication of real love.

 .  

         I

When Children Get Sick

Uncategorized, ,

Train up a child…

When Children Get Sick

         When children get sick, as they inevitably do, we often ponder about how much to “baby” them or just how to care for them. What mother has not sat by the side of a sick child and thought, “I’d rather it were me feeling that way than my child”?  It hurts us emotionally while at the same time it is hurting the child physically.

         Of course, we try to do all we can to prevent that sickness in the first place.  We encourage the children to wash their hands often, singing “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing with soap and warm water to make sure the hands are scrubbed long enough to get clean.  We do our best to make sure the child has plenty of fruit and vegetables in the diet to provide the vitamin C and other nutrients needed to fight the germs.  We try to see that the child is dressed properly for the cold weather, and we try to keep the child away from places where we know germs are present.  In spite of all our care, we often feel at least a little guilt when the child gets sick as we wonder if we did all we could have done to prevent the illness.

         There are actually some positive things that come from sickness.  One such positive learning is that children come to realize that they are vulnerable. Many young people often feel as though they can do anything and nothing bad will ever happen.  Sickness teaches a child that we each need to be careful with how we care for ourselves. A time of sickness in the home can become a time of bonding between family members as all pitch in and help the sick one.  The sick child may learn to appreciate the love and care of others.  A third benefit is a possible development of sympathy and understanding of others when they become sick.  It seems that we can never truly appreciate the feelings of others until we, ourselves, have experienced what they are going through.  People who seldom get sick often are impatient with those who do get sick more often.

         How much care should be given to a sick child? In my opinion, we need to take advantage of this time to “coddle” the child a bit.  There are, of course, occasions when this is not true.  If a child starts to take advantage of the extra attention, we need to back off.  When a child is truly sick, however, that child needs assurance of love and care.  We need a balance of not seeming overly concerned but, at the same time, children need to know that we wish the best for them. To this day, I can remember my mom’s hand on my forehead when, as a child, I would get sick and throw up. I’m sure that hand did no physical good, but it showed that she cared.  Another memory is a time when my dad brought a pretty colored ear of corn from the field for me when I had tonsillitis.  

         Should a child be allowed to watch TV?  Yes, but only educational programs. Should a child do homework?  The child should do homework only if he/she is not feeling too badly.  I would not force it but would check occasionally to see if he/she feels like it, and then I would give assistance. Should a child be allowed to get up and run around?  Generally, we need to allow a child to do what that child feels like doing until the temperature has been normal for at least 24 hours.  Then the child probably needs to go back to school. Sometimes, medicine can make a child feel better while he/she is getting worse.  This may be the case when medicine is given to treat symptoms only and the medicine does not treat the cause of the symptoms.  

         We probably will not do everything perfectly when our children get sick.  We simply try to give proper physical and emotional care to the best of our ability and pray that the Great Physician will do whatever else is needed.  

Note: I will be speaking at the Kimberling City Library on February 2, at 12:50 PM. It would be nice to see you there.