Tag Archives: raising kids

Libraries Have Come a Long Way

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Train up a child…

Libraries Have Come a Long Way

Remember when libraries were plain, dusty, and sometimes smelly?  They were not very inviting.  Things are different now.  I have had the privilege of doing book signings in some libraries and I am amazed at what they now have to offer.  Just as amazing is how well they are being used.  I’ve noticed people bringing tote bags of books to check in and fill those bags with books to take home. Libraries have computer centers for use by visitors and some have printing services to go with the computers.  

Perhaps many are missing out on this wonderful resource for their children. There are those who spend many dollars buying books for their children that could be checked out for free at a library.  Not only can books be checked out, but many libraries have areas especially designed for children to sit and read in a children’s reading room.  The Taneyhills Library in Branson has a children’s area decorated as a forest.  Children can feel as though they are sitting in a forest while reading a book. Some libraries offer special story times for children.  The Christian County library in Ozark has been remodeling.  I can’t wait to see what they have come up with for children.  The Kimberling Area Library has a special children’s library director who is a retired school principal.  They have computer games that correlate with state testing at school.  They also have a volunteer artist who changes the children’s reading area to emphasize different things. The Crane Library, a branch of Stone County library, offers many children’s activities listed on their website, www.stonecountylibrary.org. 

It is a good time, now that school is about to start, to take children to a library to give them a chance to brush up on their reading.  I would like to offer a couple of suggestions for choosing appropriate reading material for children.  With my own children, I always tried to choose reading material that was not only enjoyable, but would teach them something valuable as well.  Let’s face it.  A lot of children’s books teach very little. In some cases children’s books may even teach the wrong thing.  I remember my daughter telling me that she had looked at a book for my granddaughter and was surprised to find that the story revolved around a person landing a modeling job because the scheduled person had broken a leg! We shouldn’t be teaching our children that it is good to gain wants by the misfortune of someone else! In my teaching experience, I have found that reading material done out of school should be easy to read.  A child can’t enjoy it if it is too difficult.  A good rule of thumb is to have the child read one page of the book to you.  If five or more words are missed, the book is too difficult to enjoy reading.  

If parents are alert to opportunities such as libraries offer, they can do much to mold the character and ability of their children.  It would certainly be worth the time of any parent to check out the local library.

Chores for Toddlers

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Train up a child…

 

Chores for Toddlers

 

Can toddlers really do chores?  Yes. Even at this early age, children should begin helping to keep the home as it should be. Will they do a perfect job? No. They will, however, begin the learning process of doing certain chores and gain the realization that they are important in contributing to the work that needs to be done.

All chores done by toddlers need to be supervised by adults.  Time spent teaching children at this level will pay big dividends in the years to come when the children are able to do many things without total supervision. Toddler chores are done alongside adults.  Keeping children busy helping out at this age prevents their doing things that cause more messes to be cleaned up.  Toddlers are usually eager to help and have that look of satisfaction on their faces when they are praised for their efforts.

 

Here are some things toddlers can do:

 

  • Pick up/put away toys. (It is helpful to make a game of this.Counting to ten slowly as toys are put away and trying to get them all put away by the end of the count makes a fun game of the task.)
  • Help unload the dishwasher. Toddlers can put away silver or plastic items that can be reached.They may need a step stool to reach the silverware drawer
  • Dust larger items with a feather duster as someone else dusts the smaller items
  • Use a small broom or Swiffer to help dust the floor
  • Pick up dirty clothes and put them in the hamper
  • Put clean clothes away in drawers that can be reached with a step stool, and carry clean clothes to rooms where they belong
  • Help scrub spots off the floor
  • Pick up things that are dropped as cooking is done
  • Stir some things that are being mixed in the kitchen
  • Dust baseboards
  • Take clothes out of the dryer and put them in the laundry basket
  • Carry dirty silverware from the table to the kitchen after eating
  • Throw paper plates and cups in the trash after eating
  • Go get items for mommy and daddy
  • Take items to others as directed

 

We tend to underestimate what children can do.  In days gone by, it was necessary for children to help in families in order to survive.  Children knew they were of value to the family as they performed necessary tasks. We have so many helpful tools now that we tend to allow children to have too much time on their hands.  Self esteem is achieved by actually being worth something.  Children find self worth through achievement of worthwhile activities.  We rob our children of this wonderful feeling when they are not allowed to participate in doing things that have value.

 

A Teen’s First Job

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A Teen’s First Job

 

When age fourteen is reached, teens start thinking about working outside the home.  Some children start working out of the home at age ten or twelve doing lawn care or short-term similar jobs.  In my opinion, children should be kept in productive activities as early as possible depending on capabilities and safety.  At least by age fourteen children should start earning and budgeting money. Many places cannot hire someone until they are sixteen, so working at age fourteen and fifteen may require some creative thinking in figuring out ways to earn money.

A first job outside the home sets a pattern that may last a lifetime in the work habits a teen learns and that teen’s ability to take orders from supervisors. Teens also learn responsibility and the fact that many times they must work whether they feel like it or not.

Parents need to have a talk with their teens before that first job and make sure they understand the following:

  • A worker should arrive within a 15 minute time frame of the time they start work and should leave after time to get off work.
  • Workers must obey supervisors without question.
  • The worker is not the boss. The boss is the boss!
  • When instructions are not understood, ask for clarification instead of guessing and possibly doing something wrong.
  • Be loyal to the company or person for whom the work is being done.
  • Be pleasant. Do not complain.
  • Many people could have been chosen for the job and others can replace you.
  • Do not make promises you can’t or won’t keep.
  • When you make a mistake, apologize and move on. Don’t dwell on it.  Everyone makes mistakes.  If you are making a lot of mistakes, perhaps you should look for a job more suited to your abilities.
  • Make out a budget. Since there is no rent expense, a larger amount can be saved.  Ten percent should be given to charity.  Car expense should be included in a budget. Food expense should be figured closely as most teens tend to waste a lot of money on drinks and fast food.  Soft drinks have no nutritional value. Drinking water instead of soft drinks can save a lot of money.
  • If driving to work, proper care of the car is necessary.This includes oil changes as well as gas.
  • Sometimes workers lose jobs for reasons other than performance.Many businesses hire employees temporarily to avoid paying benefits.

 

Teens have a great amount of energy and vitality to offer to a job.  They can do much that older people can’t do and are a valuable resource if in the right position.  My husband and I have always told our children, “If you make money for your company, you will have a job.  If you lose money for your company, you will lose your job.”  Businesses exist for the purpose of making money.  They don’t exist for individuals.  That is the reality of life.  Unfortunately, often politics enter into whether a person has a job as well.  Sometimes friends get chosen for positions even if another deserves it.  Teens must learn that life is not fair, but they, themselves, need to be fair whether or not others are fair to them.  Much of this can be learned on a teen’s first job.

Teach Children to Do Tasks Well

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Teach Children to do Tasks Well

 

During the age span of nine to fourteen years of age, children can and should learn to do chores around the house well.  Younger children cannot be expected to do a great job with chores, but they can learn to do the best they can for their ability.  By the time a child reaches the age of nine, that child needs to start refining performance and being more accurate and precise with his/her chores.

The age of nine to fourteen is possibly the last opportunity parents have to really teach a good amount of skill in homemaking. Most children start thinking about working outside the home at age fourteen.  By this time, they are dreaming of getting a driver’s license and that first car. They start looking for a job to help pay for their dream.  It is for this reason that parents should take advantage of the short time they have left with children at home to teach as much as they possibly can.

We often underestimate children.  We watch them learn how to do many things on the computer or cell phone, but seem to think they are not able to use the washer and dryer, microwave, kitchen stove, or other home appliances.  They need to learn the proper use of each and every one of common home appliances. They can prepare meals, clean, and do yard work.

Children begin learning fractions in school at around fourth grade.  One of the best ways to use these fractions is to prepare recipes.  Reading skills are also enhanced as children read and follow directions in recipes.  Checking nutrition facts on labels of foods and figuring calories contributes greatly to a child’s math skills.  Measuring accurately at this age helps a child understand quantities to be able to estimate in some recipes later as the child grows older.  When the family sits down at the table to a meal prepared by a child, the whole family feels a sense of pride and the child, especially, feels a boost in self-esteem.

Most cleaning chores can be done by the age of nine.  Bathrooms can be cleaned properly.  Kitchen cabinets can be cleaned and organized, floors swept and mopped, and furniture dusted. There is always the temptation to use spray bottles as water guns, but this temptation can be easily squelched if the child has to pay for the wasted agent from his own money.  Children at this age can clean the refrigerator and freezer. They can make shopping lists and assist with finding the best bargains when buying groceries.

Doing yard work offers valuable lessons in science.  Children learn about plants.  They can also learn about machines and how they work.  Another benefit of yard work is the conditioning of the body to heat and cold.  Many would say that our children are getting soft and do not like to do things in the heat. There is a limit, of course, to a child being in the heat or cold, but sometimes we forget that for centuries and centuries there was no air conditioning and somehow people managed to survive.

Common sense should prevail in our expectations of children in doing chores, but the value of such training cannot be disputed.  We must never forget that childhood is a foundation for adulthood, and we need to lay that foundation well.

Winding Down the School Year

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Winding Down the School Year

 

Toward the end of the school year, various attitudes surface among children.  Some children begin to slack off—much like the “senioritis” that some seniors experience.  Some children work harder to make sure they pass the final exams.  Other children seem to develop a touch of “spring fever” and their minds seem to be on the summer instead of the present time.

Parents begin to look forward to the summer.  They, too, have various attitudes.  Some parents begin to dread having the children at home all summer. Other parents begin worrying about babysitters or places to send the children to take up part of the time.  Wise parents will plan ahead to make sure that the summer is well spent for the child’s growth socially, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Here are some general ideas to help parents plan:

Social Growth Activities:

Arrange a family get-together with relatives at least once during the summer.

Arrange a get-together with another family or two during the summer.

Enroll children in activities in the community.

Teens should be encouraged to get a job appropriate to their ability.

Physical Growth Activities:

Allow the children to sign up for a ball team, swimming team, or another group that uses physical activity.

Play with the children.

Do lake activities such as water skiing or swimming.

Mental Activities:

Make sure the children visit the local library a few times.

Encourage the children to have a one-hour quiet time each day to read or write.

Help the children make out a budget to use any money they may earn doing chores or at a job.

Take a trip out of the area. Stop at historical markers along the way.  Have maps available, or let them use electronic devices, for children to track progress on the trip.

 

Spiritual Activities:

Enroll the children in a summer church camp

Be sure to take children to church each Sunday and allow them to participate in church activities.

Take advantage of Vacation Bible School conducted by many churches,

No child likes to think that every minute has been planned for him/her.  Now is the time to sit down with the children and let them help do the planning.  Any plans should include chores to help around the house and a certain amount of routine.

It has been said that some people plan what they want to happen, others watch what happens, and still others wonder what happened.  Good parents should plan what happens and not find themselves at the end of the summer wondering what happened.

 

“Same”

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“Same”

 

Recently I was playing “Words with Friends” with our grandson.  I hadn’t gotten a move from him for a few days, so when I did get the word he played, I sent him a message and said, “Hi.  Good to hear from you.  Love you!”  I immediately got a message back from him that said, “Same”.

We have a custom in our family of saying “I love you” very often.  Our family is scattered to California, Colorado, Washington, and Missouri. Every phone call ends with “Love you!” I suppose our grandson decided to make it a little easier by saying “same”.  His doing so, started me thinking about how children are often the same as their parents.  Each year at Mother’s Day, many mothers often wait in anticipation to see how their children will choose to observe the day.  The truth is that it greatly depends on how their mothers observed the day in showing love and respect to their children’s grandmothers.  They will probably act the same, have the same attitudes, and pick up many of the same habits as their moms and dads.

When children see their dad disrespect their mom or vice versa, they will more than likely act the same way.  If dad goes fishing or playing golf on Mother’s Day as though it is not a special day, the children are apt to think of the day as nothing special and choose activities for self-pleasure.  If dad makes a big deal of Mother’s Day, the children will follow the example and do the same.  Studies have shown that we tend to raise our children the way we were raised irregardless of any training in child rearing we may have received.  In other words, we act the same as our parents act.

Children behave according to their attitudes.  Attitudes are caught more than taught. It is so difficult to teach children to be patriotic and respect law when they hear their parents “bad mouth” our elected officials and the rules we must follow.  It is difficult to teach children to be responsible and self-sufficient if parents are always trying to get something free. Can we really expect teens to drive safely if their parents continue to break the speed limit or are heard hoping that they can spot a patrolman before the patrolman spots them? If parents criticize teachers, can we expect the children to respect them?

As an older mom, I am continually surprised by the habits our children have that they learned at home. Our daughter, a single mom, always planned a nutritious evening meal for her two children. When we visit the homes of our children, they don’t start eating until we first give thanks. Each of our children reads his/her Bible.  Each believes in prayer.

In spite of the fact that we each are given the right to choose as we want, it is indisputable that many acts, attitudes, and habits are the same as those of parents.  With this in mind, it would be wise for each of us to continually examine our own behavior.

Poetry Holds Value for Children

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Poetry holds Value for Children

 

Sometimes children can take a lesson to heart a little easier when it is in the form of poetry. Poetry also helps children with spelling and reading.  There are many poems available that teach moral lessons as well as helping to improve reading and spelling.

One poet who included moral truths in his writing was Edgar Guest.

His poem, “Myself”, is especially appropriate for upper elementary through high school students.

 

Myself

By Edgar A. Guest

 

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know
the kind of person I really am,
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know that
I am bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.

 

This poem is very plain and simple to understand and takes little discussion to drive home the point that children should be very careful of their choices. There may be some vocabulary that needs to be explained such as the word, “sham”.

 

More of Guest’s poems can be found on the Internet.  You can simply research them by his name.

 

Children Need to Learn Accuracy

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Children need to learn Accuracy

 

Have you noticed the frequency of mistakes made in business transactions?  Several folks have mentioned lately how frustrating it is to talk to persons on the phone who represent businesses. It is difficult to get clear answers to questions. Could this be happening because those people were not taught to be accurate when they were children?

If children are not taught to be accurate with their work, they grow up thinking that it is adequate to do just enough to get by.  Not only should they be taught to be accurate with work, but they also need to learn to be accurate in what they say.  Perhaps we adults are just as guilty as the children in this area. That is carrying over as an example to the ones who learn more by example than any other way.

Quite often, in our society, children are rewarded for inferior work.  With good intentions, adults often want everyone to win so no one will feel badly.  This is an unrealistic view of life.  If children think they will be rewarded whether or not they do excellent work, why would they want to strive for perfection?  There was a time in school when children were required to do work over and over until they got it right.  Now, sometimes that is still true, but often it is not.  Many children fill in blanks on papers that have been copied and do not have to write complete sentences.  If a misspelled word is close enough to the correct answer, the child is allowed to get by with it without learning to spell the word.  Many of my GED students made a capital C or S all through a paper.  When I corrected them, they responded, “That’s the way I always make my “C” (or “S”). It is obvious they were allowed to do this in school.  My response is, “You are making it wrong”.

Many times it is difficult to get a child to explain something orally. Quite often a child will say, “You know”, or “Whatever”.  They talk in half sentences expecting the listener to understand the meaning behind the few words spoken.  We shouldn’t let children get by with this.  The children should learn to say what they mean and mean what they say. The way a child talks affects the way that child writes.  Speaking and writing accurately requires clear thinking.  Being a responsible adult also requires clear thinking.

It is so easy for adults to fall into a pattern of getting down to a child’s level instead of bringing a child up to the adult level.  When this happens, we all end up thinking and acting like children.  We need to be trying to help our children become responsible adults who can express themselves accurately and do accurate written work.  Our culture of “If it feels good, do it” needs to go away and a new culture of “Do it right” needs to come to our society.

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Nature Holds Lessons for Children

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Nature Holds Lessons for Children

 

We find excellent object lessons for children all around us in nature. When children learn to observe the lessons in nature, they not only develop a love for science that helps them in school, they also learn the answers to some of life’s most perplexing questions.

Children are born with a natural curiosity that we should continue to cultivate. We can use this curiosity to teach important life lessons that will stay with them as long as they live.

I well remember an occasion with my dad when I was a child. He and I were walking down a dusty path in the field to get the cows for milking. My dad suddenly stopped, stooped down, picked a blade of grass and began looking at it intently. I watched as he drew me close to him and said, “Look there, Patsy, at this blade of grass. Look at all the little lines in it. Look at the little hairs on it.” As he continued to marvel at one blade of grass, he looked skyward at an airplane flying overhead. “You know,” he said, “man can make airplanes. Why, someday he may even be able to fly to the moon. One thing man will never be able to do is to make a blade of grass. Only God can do that!”

Each fall my husband and I marvel as we spy monarch butterflies fluttering past on their way south. How do they know to fly south? Even more remarkable is how they change from a funny caterpillar crawling along to a beautiful butterfly. The female butterfly lays an egg on a milkweed leaf, the egg hatches and the caterpillar eats its own shell and begins feeding on the leaves of the plant. Then it forms a chrysalis, stays inside a short time, and comes out a beautiful butterfly. Does this example not give us a hint of how God can give us life after death?

Children are curious about where they came from, why everyone dies, and what happens after death. When they first find out that all of us must die at some time, they become frightened. The story of the butterfly helps children understand how God has provided life after death for us. Although we can’t fully understand everything about the afterlife, the stories in nature guarantee that we serve a God who is capable of keeping His promise. After all, if God can change a worm to a beautiful butterfly, He can take care of us as well.

Another good lesson from nature can be gotten from a limb of a tree. Early in the spring, we can break a small limb from a tree and show the child how it seems so very lifeless. To look at, it seems dead. In a short time, another limb can be shown to the child showing buds coming out and getting ready to open. This too, is a miracle of God. Just as plants appear to be dead, yet come to life again, so we, too, will someday die but come to life again.

A walk in the woods, or even the front yard, can be an avenue for teaching very important lessons to children from nature. These lessons cost only a little time and effort. They are opportunities we don’t want to miss.

Children and Technology

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Children and Technology

 

Some time ago, our daughter-in-law e-mailed a video to us of our two-year- old grandson playing with an ipad and laughing and having fun with the things he was seeing on it. I was reminded again of how different it is for our children growing up in the age of technology from the times that we and our children grew up.

Since Adam and Eve, parents have needed to be flexible and make adjustments in expectations of children as inventions came about. I’m fairly sure that they never had to be quite as flexible as this generation demands. We can be thankful for so many of the new gadgets, but how do we handle all of the decisions that have to be made in using them? How can we know what to keep in education and what to change? How can we teach the proper use of those many new things we have available?

When the calculator came along, many thought that children no longer needed to be taught basic math. When spell check came on the computer, some thought we no longer needed to teach spelling. When the Internet came, many said that we no longer needed to teach history and dates of happenings in history because you could always look up whatever you needed when you needed it. Home economics was done away with in schools because no one needed to sew because it could be done in mass in factories, and cooking was so much easier with packaged foods, etc. Many things have been done away with because of new inventions. Were all of these decisions the right decisions?

When deciding to change old ways, we need to consider each thing in light of its benefits. When children learn math, for instance, they learn not only the math involved, but they learn mental discipline as well. They learn decision-making and cautiousness. When we read a math problem, we must be very careful, so we will not overlook a pertinent detail. Children do not learn this on the calculator. Unless these values can be taught another way, children should still be taught basic math. Spell check is wonderful on the computer, but it does not catch many errors. Children learn visual discrimination and phonics in spelling that affect their reading ability. Without good visual discrimination in reading, children cannot do punctuation correctly.

When the automobile was invented, I wonder how many people thought we should keep using the horse and buggy. It is natural and right that we should want to use whatever we can to accomplish the most that is possible. It would be foolish to not take advantage of the wonderful things we have available to us. It would be just as foolish to “throw the baby out with the bath water”. Change needs to be made cautiously. Children should be taught to use the new inventions for good, not just for ease of effort or entertainment.

Of one thing we can be certain. Our emotions and Spiritual needs do not change. Evil and good continue to exist in abundance. Right and wrong actions do not change; only the tools we use change. God grants wisdom to those who ask for it. Today’s technology and the change that is coming with it require lots and lots of wisdom!