Tag Archives: raising kids

The Value of Looking Back

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Train up a child…

 

The Value of Looking Back

 

There is much learning value in taking the time to look back and remember on the Memorial Day holiday. Actually, it is valuable for adults as well as children. Examples of the past help us in innumerable ways. Knowing the results of past actions help us in knowing how to set the course of our own lives. Meditating on sacrifices and hardships of those who have worked so hard to give us what we now have helps us appreciate our present circumstances more. Realizing the accomplishments of others gives us a greater respect for the use of the time we have available to us.

Memorial Day was once called “Decoration Day” because everyone went to decorate the graves of past relatives. It was a time to talk about both the good and bad things those relatives had done. The good mentioned helps children set goals for what they want to accomplish in their lives to live up to the family expectations. The bad things mentioned help children know what they need to avoid as they make hard choices in behavior. This is an opportune time for parents to instill the knowledge that drugs, tobacco and alcohol are really bad choices. We need not be hesitant to point out that someone might still be alive today had they not chosen to use drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. We have great visual aids right in front of us in a cemetery.

By contrast, show the graves of the military who gave their lives for a cause. Talk about some of the freedoms we enjoy and some of the reasons that wars have been fought. As children see these graves and hear discussion about causes of death, they cannot help but do some serious thinking about what they want to accomplish with their lives. As they internalize what they are hearing and seeing, they are setting goals for themselves.

How can we help but feel gratitude and thankfulness for what we have as we learn about the sacrifices that have been made for us? As mom and dad talk about how ancestors did the laundry, planted gardens, and worked so hard in so many other ways, the children may want to take better care of the modern-day appliances they have. A greater respect will be gained for elderly people when children realize what those strong and tough individuals endured. Children might even want to stand up and let an elderly person have their seat the next time they have that opportunity!

No person can help but think about his/her length of time on earth before going to meet the Creator as they visit a cemetery. We become more conscious of the time we have to make any accomplishment for the good. It is the tendency of young people to think “someday” as they plan their lives. Seeing the graves of those who died young helps one to understand that “someday” may never come.

Many might say, “It is all well and good to say that children will learn a lot by going to a cemetery on Memorial Day, but how do you get them to go? What if they don’t want to go and would rather stay home or do something else?” You are the parents. You make them go. Set the family tradition so that there is no question about it. It only takes part of one day to make the trip to the graves. Then, plan another activity that will be fun for the other time. If you live too great a distance from the graves of relatives, take the children to visit the grave of a family friend , or go to a military cemetery.

We wonder why so many young people seem to have a lack of respect for the elderly and make improper choices about the use of harmful substances. A tradition of annual visits to the cemetery is such a simple thing that can be done to prevent so many problems in children and teens. Why should we wait until a problem occurs when we can head it off before it begins? This family tradition can instill in children and adults the desire to use time wisely and set appropriate goals of behavior.

 

 

Children Need to Respect Mom

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Train up a child…

 

Children Need to Respect Mom

 

For many mothers, Mother’s Day is the favorite holiday of the year. It is so nice to be honored and hear the expressions of love and appreciation. However, in many cases, mothers are not given the respect or honor they should receive not only on Mother’s Day but also during the remainder of the year.

In order for a mother to be respected, she must do some things to earn that respect, dad needs to encourage the children to respect their mother, and a family needs to attend a church where children are taught the importance of the family and the command to honor parents.

Although we should each respect our mother whether the respect is earned or not, it is so much easier when the mother does and does not do certain things. Mothers should have the well-being of the family in her mind and heart first after love for God. A Godly woman is a woman who is filled with love as described in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the Bible. She is patient with her children and understands each child is unique. She needs to do her best to see that the children are getting proper food and have a clean, orderly house to live in. She needs to be an encourager. Her speech should be gentle. Mothers who use profanity and “street talk” have a hard time getting real respect from children.

Dad plays a big role in teaching children proper respect. He needs to set a good example for the children by showing respect to their mother. In addition to setting the example, he needs to require the children to always speak respectfully and to listen to the mother. Under no circumstances should he override the mother’s decision in the presence of the children. To do so indicates that he does not believe that she is capable of making right decisions for them. Children quickly pick up on this attitude and they, too, decide that she is not capable of giving them advice. If dad disagrees with mom, the issue should be settled between the two of them out of the presence of the children. When men talk down to their wives in front of the children, the children get the impression that their mother is inferior. Mother’s Day presents an opportunity for dad to work with the children to remind them to do something to show their appreciation and love for their mother.

Families who do not attend church are robbing themselves of a great deal of help. In church, the children are taught the Ten Commandments. They usually are required to memorize them. One of the commandments tells us to honor our fathers and mothers. This is not an option. God holds us responsible to obey this commandment as well as the others. It really helps to have someone outside the family teaching the children to act properly and to respect their parents. As I watch children in church recite Scripture, sing songs, and learn how to behave properly, I often feel sad to think how many children are missing out on these activities. These activities, along with camp opportunities, enhance the learning they get at school and home. They get practice in memorizing and they learn Scripture verses about acting correctly which better prepares them for life.

Although Mother’s Day comes only one time each year, we should teach children to love and respect their mothers at all times. This positive behavior should become a pattern of behavior to last a lifetime.

The Value of Homework

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Train up a child…

 

The Value of Homework

 

Homework is a good thing. No matter how much students may moan or groan about it, there is no doubt that it is good for them. Of course it is important to have the right amount of assignments. It is not good to overload students, but if the right amount of homework is given, there are many benefits derived for the student.

Homework is necessary to give practice of skills taught in school. Teachers do not have enough time to give adequate practice. More and more topics are added for teachers to teach, yet nothing is ever subtracted and no additional time is allowed. Homework is good to help the students develop proper habits of study and self-discipline. As parents either assist or observe their children doing homework, they come to a better understanding of the learning ability and achievement levels the children possess.

There was a time in education that educators thought that if a child simply understood subject matter, practice was not necessary. I remember having a math textbook when I taught second grade that required the children to complete as few as six problems each day after the concept was taught. I knew that the children needed more, so I kept extra math papers available all the time for the children to choose and work as their time permitted. Math, reading, and writing are skills. All skills require practice because they involve more than understanding. They involve the use of nerves and muscles. Just because a person can read and understand music, for instance, doesn’t mean that the person can play the piano or any other instrument. It is the same with the skills of reading, math, and writing. Practice is necessary to become proficient.

As I taught GED classes through the years, I found that many students test higher in applied math than the actual computation. I tell them that I suspect they sat in class, listened to the teacher explain how to do problems, and then said, “I don’t have to do my homework. I understand that.” They usually look at me rather sheepishly and say, “You got that right. How did you know?” Such students indicate that they have the ability to understand but did not practice problems enough to be able to do them satisfactorily.

Some children do well in early grades and don’t do homework, then find out later on that some subjects, such as algebra, require constant homework. Unfortunately, since they didn’t do homework early on, they haven’t really learned good study habits and self discipline to buckle down and do what they need to do. It is important to have a set time, even in the lower grades, to make homework a habit. If homework is not assigned, the parents need to come up with things the children can do to add to what they are learning in school. For instance, if the children are learning about conservation, they might require them to look at or read something from the Missouri Conservation magazine. They can check the library for more information or take a walk with dad to see examples of good and bad conservation.

Some may think that their children don’t need to do any homework since they finish quickly at school. We should never let our children think that they are smarter than others and that they don’t need to learn more. There is always plenty more to be learned about every subject. Parents are teachers, too, and parents need to help children develop a curiosity for learning by making suggestions or finding projects for the children to do to enrich what they have already learned.We learn a great deal about our children as they do homeworkPerhaps we learn even more than any report card can show. We can assess how the child reasons, the interests of the child, and become closer to the child. Homework can be a wonderful together time and learning time for both parents and children.

 

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A Child’s Fear is Real

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Train up a child…

A Child’s Fear is Real

It is easy for adults to forget that children may be afraid of many things. Usually each of us is afraid of what we do not understand. Since children have not yet learned many things, they have many things to fear.
There are some legitimate fears, but there are many fears parents can help children overcome.
Since most fears derive from a lack of understanding, one of the best things we can do is help a child understand why or how something is happening. Sometimes just being with a child or planning can help the child overcome a fear. We should make an effort to protect children from unnecessary fears.
Many children are afraid of thunder and lightning. A scientific explanation of what causes them can help. This is a legitimate fear. According to one site on the Internet, lightning is an electrical charge that is about 54,000 degrees F. It heats the air around it and the air expands rapidly. This causes an explosion of air resulting in the sound of thunder. Detailed information can be found on the Internet as well as a map showing where lightning is striking in the U.S. at the time of viewing. Explaining this, and being with a child during a thunderstorm can help a child feel more secure. Planning what to do for safety as a family during a storm will help a child feel more comfortable as well.
If a child is afraid of the dark, adults can walk into a dark room with a child to give comfort and security. Lifting bed covers to prove there is no monster under the bed helps. Night lights are good to have in a child’s room.
Some children are afraid of insects and worms. I remember an occasion when my husband sat with our small daughter on one knee with one arm wrapped around her while holding an earthworm in the other hand to show her it would not hurt her. Sometimes we need to provide proof through illustrations.
It is unfortunate that some adults like to purposely scare children. This is not good. Some children carry scars for a lifetime from being frightened. Adults should find a better way to amuse themselves! At Halloween, extremely scary costumes should be avoided. There are many fun costumes children can wear without having to deal with the scary ones.
It is good if adults can be alert and understanding to know when a child is frightened and do what they can to help a child through the frightening time. What may seem trivial to us may be a big thing to a child. We can’t protect children from all fears, but there are enough fears that come naturally that we certainly don’t have to add to them. Learning to cope with fears is a part of life. When we help our children to do so, we are helping them be more successful as they continue to grow.