Plan a Meaningful Easter

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come: Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Plan a Meaningful Easter

         Easter is arguably the most important holiday of the year.  Without Easter, Christmas would lose its importance.  For this reason, we should make great effort to impress upon children the relevance of this holiday.

         It is always good to create pleasant memories for children.  It is investment in their future to do so.  At the same time, we must make sure that children understand the true meaning of this special time.  

         Many would like to do away with the commercialism associated with Easter.  Realistically, that will probably never happen.  Our best option, it would seem, is to use the commercialism to teach children while they still enjoy the fun provided by longtime traditions.  Egg hunts are fun and children would most likely resent not being allowed to take part in them. If we can tell the children that the eggs represent new life as provided by Christ’s death on the cross and that we are promised in the Bible that if we seek that new life we will find it; then, they can learn truth while having fun.  Easter baskets can be explained as coming from those who love them and want to show that love.  Since God gave his son as a gift, we like to give gifts to our children. If new clothes are purchased at this time, again we can tell the children that a life is just like new once a person believes in Christ, repents, and invites the Holy Spirit to live within us.  Most children are too intelligent to actually believe in an Easter bunny.  It is best to tell the children that the Easter bunny is simply part of a game that is played at this time of year.

         There is no better time than Easter to take the family to church and teach children John 3:16. Every child should know this verse that says, “For God so loved the world that He gave his only son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”.  Many churches have special services at Easter. Some churches have a solemn service on Good Friday. Some churches will have a sunrise service.  When children get up early for this event, they are forced to realize that this time is special.  

         Let’s put special effort into making sure children remember this Easter.  Let’s have fun with the children and at the same time teach them the real meaning of the holiday.  Many religions worship an individual, but the Christian religion is the only one that worships a risen Savior.  This event provides hope for each of us in a life after death.  Knowing this gives children purpose and meaning to life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Dealing With Attentiveness

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Dealing With Attentiveness

Train up a child…

Dealing with Attentiveness

         I don’t claim to be an expert on Attention Deficit Disorder, but sixty-two years of teaching experience should count for something.  When I first started teaching, a child was given a spanking for not paying attention in class.  Now, a child is often given medication for the same problem.  Many people feel that the medication is over-prescribed.  It becomes a real quandary for parents to know what to do when they are told that their child has ADD.  In making decisions about such a child, it would be well to check to see if the child is consistent in not paying attention, check the environment of the child, and make sure the child is not getting caffeine or too much sugar and getting proper nutrition.

         During my 20 plus years teaching GED classes, I have often had students tell me that they have been in special education classes and have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.  When I worked with them, I found they were far behind where they should have been at the time they dropped out of school. I believe that a few of them truly had a physical problem affecting their ability to focus on their work.  However, most seemed able to focus when they chose to do so.  In one case, a student told me he had ADD.  When I asked him what he really liked to do, he told me that he was a cook at a restaurant and liked to work on cars.  “Do you have a hard time paying attention to cooking and working on cars?” I asked.  “No”, he said, “that’s something I like to do”.  If a person can pay attention at some times, but not other times, it is a pretty good indication that medication is not needed.

         Our education system has taken on an attitude of classroom management that is often very distracting to any student.  Many classrooms are far too noisy for children to concentrate.  In my orientation of new students for GED, I often hear a loud sigh of relief when I tell them that I don’t allow anyone to waste time and steal time from other students by being disruptive in the class.  I have been surprised by responses to the question on their enrollment paper that asks, “How can the teacher best help you to learn?”  Many new students have written that they would like a quiet room with a good learning environment. Several students have told how their classrooms were often too noisy when they were in school.

         Children should not be allowed to have caffeine at all.  Most soda has caffeine, and many children are allowed to drink that soda.  Sugar can cause a child to have a rush of energy that is hard to control.  Proper nutrition plays an important role in a child’s ability to concentrate.

         It is amazing to me, that when children are diagnosed with ADD, that acceptable means of dealing with it are not addressed.  Even if medication is required in a few cases, parents and teachers should continue to address the causes and make accommodations for dealing with the problem.  Until the problem is taken care of, teens and adults who have been diagnosed with ADD should not be behind the steering wheel of a car.  If they can’t pay attention in school, why do we think they can pay attention while driving a vehicle?  

         For the most part, we need to understand that treating the symptom does not correct the cause. There can be no harm done in checking a child’s nutrition and making sure s/he does not have too much caffeine or sugar.  Rather than simply giving in to the idea that a child can’t pay attention, we need to decide if the child simply won’t pay attention. It would be nice if we could get into a child’s mind and see clearly what is going on there.  Since we can’t, we simply must use our best wisdom and understanding to provide the help needed.

Children and Learning Disabilities

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble. www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children and Learning Disabilities

Train up a child…

Children and Learning Disabilities

       We hear a great deal about children who have learning disabilities.  There are children who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Behavior Disorder, Dyslexia, and recently I heard of an instance where children were being diagnosed with obedience disorder.  One has to wonder about the authenticity of many of these diagnoses. 

         With the wide use of drugs and alcohol during recent years, we have to consider the possibility that many babies have been born carrying the effects of the usage of these substances by their parents.  No doubt, there has been some effect upon the ability of those children to cope with life. On the other hand, one can’t help but wonder if many children are labeled with the terms mentioned simply because those working with the children can come up with no way to deal with the needs the children have. In addition to the effects of substance abuse, children are also affected by nutrition and inherent interests.

         I had occasion several years ago to visit a neonatal ward in a hospital that specialized in babies born with problems.  It was horrible to watch little babies, so small you could hold them in your hand, shiver and shake with withdrawal symptoms from drugs because their mothers had used drugs while carrying them. When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we learned that some parents would put alcohol in the baby bottles on the weekend to put them out while they had a good time.  Now, I know of homes where children are constantly with cigarette smoke and they are getting the effects of the secondhand smoke.  This affects their health and possibly they have withdrawal symptoms needing “a smoke” during school hours.  Research shows that a large percentage of retardation is caused by mothers using alcohol while they were pregnant. There is much evidence to indicate that substances affect a child’s behavior and learning ability.

         When I was teaching GED classes,  I had a student enroll in my GED class who told me that he drank two 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew and smoked two packs of cigarettes each day.  He couldn’t understand why he was having a difficult time sitting in class and concentrating on studying!  Although this sounds extreme, it is not an isolated incident. Caffeine is not a good thing for children and too much caffeine and sugar is not good for adults.  (Four grams of sugar equals one teaspoon.  One large Mountain Dew has about 23 teaspoons of sugar.) Many adults allow children to drink a great deal of soda with caffeine, give them large amounts of sugar, and do not watch the diets of their children.  What a child consumes certainly affects learning and behavior.         

         When God created us, He didn’t create us with the idea in mind that all were to fit in a mold of behavior expected by the educational personnel in today’s schools.  I’m not sure that our ideas of how children are to respond to our teaching are how God intended all children to respond. Children are born with dominance in three or four intelligences. Children who have the “body” intelligence will naturally find it more difficult to sit quietly and pay attention in school.

         There is probably no person alive who does not have some difficulty at some time or another in learning something.  We have to find ways to work with ourselves to cope with the difficulties we have in order to learn what we need to survive.  As parents and teachers, we need to help children learn to cope with their challenges.  Unfortunately, labeling a child with a disability name often enables a child to feel excused for lack of accomplishment.  Children grow up thinking they can’t do some things and they simply stop trying. We need to use common sense in working with children when they have challenges to learning. 

Who’s Right? or What’s Right?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Who’s Right or What’s Right?

Train up a child…

Who’s Right?  Or What’s Right?

         It is very easy for parents and children to get into power struggles, and each try to prove that s/he is right.  It is a challenge to parents to avoid these struggles and work with children as a partner to determine what is right.  It requires putting one’s own ego aside, using diligence in the choice of words, and knowing the right thing toward which to work.

         We often make the mistake as parents in thinking that because we won the immediate battle that we have won the war.  This is far from the truth.  Not only does winning a battle fail to guarantee future acceptable behavior in a child, but it often creates resentment and a feeling of “I’ll prove I’m right.” No one likes to have to “give in” and children are no exception. When required to do so, children often harbor resentment. On the other hand, if parent and child can reason together and come up with solutions, those solutions tend to stick, and the child has learned how to deal with the same problem in the future.  It is too bad that many parents let their egos stand in the way and won’t listen to a child’s reasoning. If parents can be patient and humble themselves and admit that they may not have all the answers, children tend to respect them more and are inclined to discuss problems in a reasonable manner.  Parents often think that respect is gained by demanding it.  The truth is that respect is gained when the parent is patient and kind and willing to listen to a child.

         If a parent is willing to admit that they are wrong, the child will respect them more.  The child feels good about self for having convinced the parent, and the parent will wait until a future time to have the upper hand.  No one likes to be told that s/he is wrong all the time.  There are times when the child is right, and we adults are wrong.  Parents may be afraid they will lose respect, but the truth is that more respect will be gained, and the child will feel freer to discuss things with parents if they feel the parents will listen to them.  

         When a child is small, parents have the right to demand proper behavior, and throughout the teen years there will be times when reasoning does not work.  For the safety and well-being of the child, the parent may need to insist on having their own way.  Whenever possible, however, reasoning with a child is a better way to teach. Demanding certain behavior works for only a short time.  We need to subdue our thirst for control to the level that will allow us to reason with children to teach truths to last for a lifetime.  It is not important to know who is right, but it is very, very important for a child to know what is right.

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

Train up a Child…

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

       Almost every school year we have a few “snow days”.  We may not have any more this year, but it is good to be prepared just in case we do.  Some people seem to really dislike them.  Others keep hoping for a snow day.  Since we know they happen almost every year, it is a good idea to consider how to use them wisely.

         There is no doubt that challenges come with the knowledge that all routines have changed.  Many questions arise.  What do I do to entertain the kids?  What do I feed the kids for lunch?  What do I do about the unfinished chores at my job?  What if the electricity goes off?  How long will this last?  All these things must be dealt with while at the same time the children are wondering what to do.

         Children do not have to be, nor should they be, entertained.  Children need to learn to think for themselves.  No child ever died from boredom! Sometimes it is good for a child not to have something going all the time.      When a child says, “I’m bored”, simply say, “What do you plan to do about that?”  Put the responsibility back on the child.  Chances are that anything the parent suggests will not be accepted.  It is best to say, “I hope you find a way to use your time wisely”.  It is good if parents make themselves available to play board games or other games with the children; however, it is best to have the child make the decision whenever possible.

         Allowing the children to become part of the family team to plan for electricity outage or other happenings is good.  Also, storytelling about the time when there was no electricity in homes, or cars to go places, is more meaningful at a time like this.  The children can better understand the time when it was necessary to saddle a horse or hitch up a wagon to go someplace.  This helps them understand their history courses in school.  A discussion of how families lived when children were home most of the time can further develop this understanding.

         Chores are ever present for children.  It is a good time to reorganize a study place and check for overlooked homework.  Good cooking lessons can be learned as children assist with the preparation of lunch.  It is also a good time to simply rest and take things slowly.

         I remember a phone conversation with our daughter when our grandchildren were small.  “Mom”, she said, “they are just a ball!”  She was genuinely enjoying the children.  Both of those children have done well.  It would be nice if we all remembered that children are a gift from God.  Let’s enjoy our gifts!  Snow days give us an opportunity to do just that.

A Real Necessity

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Real Necessity

         There is one thing that is so very important for the success of a child in school and life.  Without this, a child will be stuck on approximately the third-grade level in math and not continue to progress. That child will be unable to manage money when s/he becomes an adult although the desire may be there to do so.

         What is that one thing?  A child must know the multiplication tables!

         It seems like such a “no-brainer” to say that children should learn their multiplication tables. However, during the 20+ years of teaching GED classes, I observed over and over that this vital part of the education of my students had not been fulfilled.  I have had students from at least ten different school systems including out of state, and the story is the same.  I have had nearly 1000 students enroll in the classes I have taught and probably 90% of them did not know their multiplication tables.  Many of these students were on college level in reading indicating that the ability to learn was certainly there.

         What accounts for the fact that the multiplication tables have not been learned?  In my opinion, there are several reasons (or perhaps excuses).  Parents often leave this kind of thing up to the teachers.  The teachers are pressured to cover a certain amount of material in large classes where individual attention is not possible.  Modern math, several years ago, promoted the philosophy that if a student understood math, drill was not necessary.  Our trend for fast food and fast learning tends to cause a child to expect learning to be easy. Attitudes of “somebody owes me something,” and “I am not responsible for myself,” cause a child to believe that s/he can get by without knowing the multiplication tables.  Social promotion has fostered that idea further by letting the child know that s/he will go on to the next grade whether or not all the material has been mastered.  

         What kind of logic says that if a child can’t do third grade work, that child can do fourth grade work?  Students grow up thinking they are dumb and just can’t “get it” simply because they have not been required to “get it”.  Some students go year after year in school, getting in deeper and deeper water and feeling more and more frustrated because they can’t handle the math that requires knowing the multiplication tables.

         In school, the multiplication tables are usually introduced at the end of second grade.  In real life, we can begin working with children when they are toddlers to help them understand some number concepts.

         When playing with small children, we can simply provide information by saying such things as, “Oh, I see two blue blocks here and two more blue blocks there.  That makes four blocks.  Two times two is four.”  We need to constantly include such comments in conversation to help children become aware of numbers.

         A great deal of math can be taught with a bag of M & M’s or a bag of jellybeans.  They can be sorted into groups and counted to see how many groups of different numbers and colors can be made. When they have succeeded in learning some of the facts, they can be rewarded by allowing them to eat the candy.

         We need to require older children to write the multiplication tables over and over.  The more senses we use in learning, the faster we learn.  By writing, the child is using touch and sight.  If the child says them aloud while writing, that child is also using hearing. 

         Spanking a child to learn is not appropriate, although it may be appropriate to spank a child to get that child to take time to do homework and try to learn.  Drill is appropriate.  There are many ways and opportunities to help the children with this vital information.  All the thousands of dollars and all the new programs for education do very little good with math if a child does not know these basic facts. 

         Parents, grandparents, and teachers, it is so very important to make sure that your third and fourth graders learn their multiplication tables! 

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

         In a phone conversation with our daughter-in-law a few years ago, she told me that our four-year-old grandson was having a “sweet” day.  She related that when they went shopping and she lifted him out of the car, he softly and gently said, “Mommy, I love you.”  Later, when they were in the store and she had him by the hand, he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.  What precious moments!

         “Oh,” you say, “but it doesn’t last!”  Well, actually, it can last.  Of course, it cannot be every moment of every day that children express their love, but there can be an ongoing inner love that leads to respect of parents.  This in-dwelling love should also be present in the parents for the children.  

         Most people would quickly recall the teenage years when children so often tend to disrespect parents as they struggle to “leave the nest” and become independent.  I dare say, even though there are times of friction between parent and child, the foundation can be laid that ensures that children always come back to that expression of love.  

When our oldest grandson reached puberty, I called him aside and said, “Now, Dylan, you are about to become a teenager.  I want you to be like your Uncle Charles.  When he was in high school, he was never afraid to give me a hug no matter who was watching.”  It worked.  Dylan gave me hugs in front of his peers all through his teenage years. He was never afraid to show affection to his mother as well.  His younger sister followed his example and also showed affection to her mom and grandparents.

         A worse scenario than a teen who refuses to show affection to parents, is the grown-up who speaks sharply to aging parents or shows disdain when a parent does something that the grown-up child finds distasteful.  How often have we heard, also, of the aging parent in the nursing home who receives few or no visits from adult children?  

         Dr. Adrian Rogers once remarked in a sermon that he would never allow his children to speak disrespectfully to their mother.  He said that their mother went through much pain to bring their children into the world.  As they grew, she changed their diapers and cared for them in many ways. As a father, he wanted his children to know that they owed their mother respect and that they should treat her with dignity.

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone would love and respect everyone else? Let’s teach our children that love means that we care for others regardless of whether they see things the same way we do.  When others make their best efforts, let’s appreciate those efforts and not be judgmental and critical.  There are ways of expressing our beliefs without hurting others.  After all, we are all learning and growing every day.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The mistakes of others are no worse than our own.  To love others doesn’t mean that we must agree, but it does mean that we should be kind, patient, and longsuffering.  Let us practice this love to our children as we expect them to practice it to us in return.  

         I know of no better description of love than that given in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the New Testament.  It would be good if we all read this chapter often.

When Children Get Sick

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.dom

Train up a child…

When Children Get Sick

         When children get sick, as they inevitably do, we often ponder about how much to “baby” them or just how to care for them.  What mother has not sat by the side of a sick child and thought, “I’d rather it were me feeling that way than my child”?  It hurts us emotionally while at the same time it is hurting the child physically.

         Of course, we try to do all we can to prevent that sickness in the first place.  We encourage the children to wash their hands often, singing “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing with soap and warm water to make sure the hands are scrubbed long enough to get clean.  We do our best to make sure the child has plenty of fruit and vegetables in the diet to provide the vitamin C and other nutrients needed to fight the germs.  We try to see that the child is dressed properly for the cold weather, and we try to keep the child away from places where we know germs are present.  In spite of all our care, we often feel at least a little guilt when the child gets sick as we wonder if we did all we could have done to prevent the illness.

         There are actually some positive things that come from sickness.  One such positive learning is that children come to realize that they are vulnerable.  Many young people often feel as though they can do anything and nothing bad will ever happen.  Sickness teaches a child that we each need to be careful with how we care for ourselves. A time of sickness in the home can become a time of bonding between family members as all pitch in and help the sick one.  The sick child may learn to appreciate the love and care of others.  A third benefit is a possible development of sympathy and understanding of others when they become sick.  It seems that we can never truly appreciate the feelings of others until we, ourselves, have experienced what they are going through.  People who seldom get sick often are impatient with those who do get sick more often.

         How much care should be given to a sick child?  In my opinion, we need to take advantage of this time to “coddle” the child a bit.  There are, of course, occasions when this is not true.  If a child starts to take advantage of the extra attention, we need to back off.  When a child is truly sick, however, that child needs assurance of love and care.  We need a balance of not seeming overly concerned but, at the same time, children need to know that we wish the best for them. To this day, I can remember my mom’s hand on my forehead when, as a child, I would get sick and throw up.  I’m sure that hand did no physical good, but it showed that she cared.  Another memory is a time when my dad brought a pretty colored ear of corn from the field for me when I had tonsillitis.  

         Should a child be allowed to watch TV?  Yes, but only educational programs. Should a child do homework?  The child should do homework only if he/she is not feeling too badly.  I would not force it but would check occasionally to see if he/she feels like it, and then I would give assistance. Should a child be allowed to get up and run around?  Generally, we need to allow a child to do what that child feels like doing until the temperature has been normal for at least 24 hours.  Then the child probably needs to go back to school.  Sometimes, medicine can make a child feel better while he/she is getting worse.  This may be the case when medicine is given to treat symptoms only and the medicine does not treat the cause of the symptoms.  

         We probably will not do everything perfectly when our children get sick.  We simply try to give proper physical and emotional care to the best of our ability and pray that the Great Physician will do whatever else is needed.  

It’s Not Just Child’s Play

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

It’s Not Just Child’s Play!

         It is a wonderful thing when parents will play with their children.  There is great value in time spent simply having fun with them.  This time is an opportunity for bonding, teaching, and creating memories.

Right after Christmas there is an opportunity to explore the new toys and games together.  When dad or mom get on the level of the child and explore the new possibilities of enjoyment, the child learns to appreciate the fact that the parent has interest in his/her world.  A special relationship between the child and parent is created.  This new relationship results in a better understanding of each other. 

In the event that a toy breaks, as many are apt to do, as the parent helps repair that toy, the child learns about how things work.  Parents have an opportunity to teach new words and understandings to the child.

Even if there are no new games or toys, parents and children can create their own games. Our grown children still laugh about playing “sandwich” or “slobber ear” with their dad, and I laugh when I see them play the same games with their children.  These are rough and tumble games on the floor. where all involved laugh and giggle as they try to get away from each other to avoid having an ear chewed or to become the bottom bread of a sandwich.  They laugh as “the meat” wriggles out to try to become the top bread and the bottom bread tries even harder to escape being the bottom bread.  It is important, however, for the parent to know when enough is enough in these games.  It is cruel to tickle children too much.  Also, weight of individuals needs to be considered so no person is hurt.

Many board games offer opportunities for learning as well as having fun.  Long winter evenings are well spent in playing games such as Monopoly, Balderdash, Sequence, or others with older children. In Monopoly, children learn much about money.  They learn to count the money as well as a great deal about how business works.  Balderdash is a great game for teaching writing, persuasion, and vocabulary.  Our family has laughed until we cried at some of the silly definitions written for some of the words in Balderdash. Board games designed for younger children teach a child to take turns and that they cannot always win.  They can learn to lose graciously.

Laughter is a good medicine. King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”.  Playing and laughing with our children relieves our stress as well as theirs.  We sometimes forget that children, too, have stress as they seek to please their parents and teachers.  

Time spent playing with children is a wonderful investment that yields dividends for eternity.  Children grow up so fast!  Let’s take advantage of the opportunities we have to spend time with them while we can. 

A Christmas Dinner to Remember

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Christmas Dinner to Remember

       I remember when our children were small how I would work so hard in the kitchen to create a “picture book” Christmas dinner.  I admit there were times when I harbored a little resentment because it seemed like the rest of the family was off in the family room or someplace else having fun while I was doing all the work!  Nevertheless, I wanted that perfect Christmas dinner, so I kept going.  By the time it was on the table, I was usually so tired that I hated to think of all the dishes that needed to be cleaned after everyone finished enjoying the food.

         There is a better way!  It was not until the children were grown with children of their own that I learned of it.  It is too bad I didn’t think of it before, but like so many others, I was so steeped in a not-so-good tradition that I didn’t think outside the box.

         When our oldest grandson was in the eighth grade, I received a call from him.  “Nana”, he said, “would you e-mail me your punch recipe?”  Our daughter had planned their Christmas dinner and each person had chosen what he or she could do.  Dylan had chosen to make the punch.  LeAndra had chosen to make the green bean casserole. (LeAndra was in the sixth grade.)  I later received a call from my daughter asking me to make my “really good dressing” for the turkey.  Her dad was asked later to cook the turkey.  Her husband made a pumpkin roll and a pumpkin pie.  I made a couple of other pies.  Our daughter took care of the bread, potatoes, seeing that the table was set properly, and other small chores.  We all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas dinner at her house and no one person was over worked.  After the meal, the children did the dishes.  The afternoon was spent playing board games together.

         There are many benefits to planning family get-togethers this way. Besides the fact that no one person feels martyred, the children are feeling important for the contributions they are making.  They are learning to cook and plan.  Each person involved is learning teamwork.  Self-evaluation is taking place as each decides what he or she can or can’t do.  Family tradition is being formed 

         A key to making this method work is to accept the contributions of each person without negative criticism.  If the green bean casserole isn’t just perfect, who cares?  It is more important to praise the child for effort made than to eat a perfect casserole.  The praise will last far longer than the casserole!  Another point to remember is to fit the task to the capability of the person.  Even a toddler can carry silver to the table or lay napkins on the table.  It is important that every person possible contribute to the dinner.

         As we enjoy our Christmas dinner this year, let us each give thanks for the food and the people, (not the person), who prepared it.  It is so good that we have such a bountiful supply of food available to us and the freedom to enjoy the celebration of our holidays.  Let us remember our troops who are fighting to preserve that freedom.  Most of all, let us be grateful for the greatest gift, Jesus, our Saviour!