Tag Archives: Children and Chores

Snow Days can be Pleasant

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a Child…

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

       Almost every school year we have a few “snow days”.  We may not have any more this year, but it is good to be prepared just in case we do.  Some people seem to really dislike them.  Others keep hoping for a snow day.  Since we know they happen almost every year, it is a good idea to consider how to use them wisely.

         There is no doubt that challenges come with the knowledge that all routines have changed.  Many questions arise.  What do I do to entertain the kids?  What do I feed the kids for lunch?  What do I do about the unfinished chores at my job?  What if the electricity goes off?  How long will this last?  All of these things have to be dealt with while at the same time the children are wondering what to do.

         Children do not have to be, nor should they be, entertained.  Children need to learn to think for themselves.  No child ever died from boredom! Sometimes it is good for a child not to have something going all the time.  Many parents seem to think that raising children is like the story of the carrot and the horse.  They think there should be something in front of a child to look forward to all the time.  When a child says, “I’m bored”, simply say, “What do you plan to do about that?”  Put the responsibility back on the child.  Chances are that anything the parent suggests will not be accepted.  It is best to say, “I hope you find a way to use your time wisely”.  It is good if parents make themselves available to play board games or other games with the children; however, it is best to have the child make the decision whenever possible.

         Allowing the children to become part of the family team to plan for electricity outage or other happenings is good.  Also, storytelling about the time when there was no electricity in homes, or cars to go places, is more meaningful at a time like this.  The children can better understand the time when it was necessary to saddle a horse or hitch up a wagon in order to go someplace.  This helps them understand their history courses in school.  A discussion of how families lived when children were home most of the time, can further develop this understanding.

         Chores are ever present for children to help with.  It is a good time to reorganize a study place and check for overlooked homework.  Good cooking lessons can be learned as children assist with the preparation of lunch.  It is also a good time to simply rest and take things slowly.

         I remember a phone conversation with our daughter when our grandchildren were small.  “Mom”, she said, “they are just a ball!”  She was genuinely enjoying the children.  Both of those children have done well.  It would be nice if we all remembered that children are a gift from God.  Let’s enjoy our gifts!  Snow days give us an opportunity to do just that.

Experience is the Best Teacher

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… )

Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Experience is the Best Teacher

Have you noticed that many times our children don’t seem to know how to do some of the simplest things?  Also, how many times have you heard that “kids are so ungrateful” for what they have?  Could it be that the reason for both of these concerns is that children don’t realize what goes into the act of providing and caring for them?

Many times I have heard grandparents say, “I just can’t resist giving things to my grandchildren when they ask”.  My thought is that they shouldn’t be asking in the first place.  We need to teach children to provide for self as much as possible   In doing so, they learn about the effort that goes into obtaining the wanted item or items.  They learn how to do chores, save money, and most of all they will have a greater appreciation of what they receive.

There are many things that children can do to help out.  Even very small children can do simple chores.  Older children learn much from tasks given them.  When a child asks for money, (which they actually shouldn’t be doing unless it is a necessity for school, etc.) there are certainly many things they can do to help around the home. What are some of those things???

Children can sweep or vacuum.  They can wash windows.  They can wash dishes, sweep the garage, pick up things, help repair broken things, organize their play area or room, have a yard sale in a safe community, pull weeds, rake leaves, sweep sidewalks, clean refrigerator, mow the lawn, etc.   The list goes on and on.  Not only do they learn the value of work, but they will appreciate what they get much more than if the money is just handed to them.  They learn that “money doesn’t grow on trees” as my folks used to tell me.  

It isn’t surprising that many times the children will take better care of what they have earned.  Sometimes they even change their minds and decide that thing they wanted isn’t that important after all!  We do our children a great disservice when we just give them things when they have no effort involved!

How to Raise Thankful Kids

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… (Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child..

How to Raise Thankful Children

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

For His mercy endures forever. Psalm 118:29 NKJV

We’ve probably all heard comments about the “ungrateful” children of today.  It’s too bad that the children get so much blame for being ungrateful when it is mostly the fault of those who are raising them!  Here are some ideas of how to raise “grateful” children:

1) Don’t praise children too much.  Praise should be for specific things.  When a child is constantly told how special s/he is, they begin to believe it.  They feel no need to try to improve.  After all, they have been told they are wonderful the way they are.  

2) Children should not be given too much.  Yes, they should be given birthday and Christmas presents, but when they earn what they get, they appreciate it more.  They develop a feeling of appreciation for what it takes to obtain what they have, and they are more selective about what they want.  Many children are capable of doing yard sales in a safe community, working to earn money by doing chores, checking sales slips for errors, etc.  “Necessity is the mother of inventions!”  We don’t give children enough credit for what they can do.

3) Teach children how to work.  They can do chores for neighbors and  fix things around the house.  They can go to work with parents to see what the parents have to do to earn money to support them.

4) Teach them to improvise.  When they don’t have exactly what they want, many times what they have can be used to accomplish the activity.

5) Insist that they write thank you notes or tell a giver “thank you” for what they receive..

6) Help them plant and care for what they planted to raise vegetables.  Many things can be raised in pots on the patio or deck.  Children learn about what it takes to provide their food.

7) Take children to visit a food plant to see people working to provide the food that goes on the shelves at the grocery store.

These are a few simple things that can be done to help children appreciate what they have.  When they sit down to eat and say “thank you” to God, they can really mean it! 

How to Raise Ungrateful Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child….

How to Raise Ungrateful Children

How many times have we heard adults complain about children not appreciating what they have?  I’ve heard it over and over.  When those remarks are made, they are often made suggesting that it is all the fault of the children that they don’t appreciate what they have.  With Thanksgiving approaching, perhaps we should think a little deeper on this subject.  Perhaps it is not the fault of the children, but rather how the children are being raised.  Following are some things that I believe contribute to children not being as thankful as they should be:

1)  Parents and others always praising their children.  No one is perfect all the time.  When children hear over and over how wonderful they are, what motivation is there to improve?  

2)  Giving awards that are not earned.  Earning awards develops appreciation for the effort that is put forth.  They mean much more to children if earned than if they are not earned.  Children can often sense that they did not deserve what they got.  

3) Giving children too much.  When things are earned, they mean much more to a person.  Working for something gives it more value.

4)  Intervening to keep children from suffering the consequences of their decisions. It is hard to watch children suffer the consequences of their decisions, but that is the way they learn.  When someone always comes to the rescue, children grow up expecting that and are not as careful as they should be about the choices they make.

5)  Lowering standards of behavior.  “Oh, that’s alright.  I know you meant well!”  I’ve heard this said many times when the action was definitely not alright.  Children need to face the consequences of their choices.  One person shared with me that when their children did wrong, she required them to write a paper telling why that particular thing was wrong.  That’s an excellent idea!

6)  Social promotion.  When children are promoted from grade to grade without having met the requirements of that grade, they grow up thinking that life is that way.  As adults, they come to believe that they should get a paycheck whether they do their work or not.  Having taught GED classes, I can attest to the fact that it is cruel to promote a child when they haven’t achieved what they should have.  They just get in deeper and deeper and are unable to cope.  Those who think they are doing the child a favor are truly wrong. The child often comes to think they are dumb and inferior to others.  

There are other examples of how we are teaching our children, perhaps unknowingly, that they should get things whether they are earned or not.

As Thanksgiving is arriving, let us rethink some of the things we are doing with our children.

Helping Children with Reading Homework

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Helping Children with Reading Homework

         Many parents shy away from helping their children with homework.  Often, this is because they are afraid they will not do it the way the teacher wants, or perhaps they feel inadequate.  There are six basic subject areas for which children may receive homework. They are reading, math, language, social studies, writing, and science.  In this column, I would like to make comments about helping children with reading.

         It is helpful to understand how reading is taught in schools today.  In the past there were arguments about whether sight reading or phonetic reading was best.  Actually, both are used.  There are certain words that children should simply memorize and learn by sight.  A good basis of phonics is absolutely necessary for a child to be able to decode words on his/her own.

         One of the best ways to help a child with sight words is to use flash cards.  Teachers can give parents a list of words that children should know by sight.  Children can make their own flash cards or flash cards may be purchased.  The advantage for a child to make the cards is that the child learns about spelling and writing at the same time as the words are learned. The advantage of purchasing the cards is that the print is similar to what the child sees on the pages in books.  Either or both are helpful.

         If a parent feels inadequate to teach phonics, that parent can ask the child to teach the parent. The child learns the sounds at school and usually knows them but simply needs review and practice for reinforcement.  Sometimes a parent may need to put a finger over part of a word to help the child break the word down.  Much of reading depends on the vision of a child…both the physical vision and the way the child sees the word in his/her mind.  By covering part of a word, the child can see parts of the word in the mind rather than just seeing a bunch of letters of the alphabet.

         The best thing any parent can do to help with a child’s reading is simply have that child read, read, read.  Older children can read stories to younger children or to the parents.  The children need to be familiar with the local library and have enjoyable books on hand to read at all times.  Reading at home should generally be easy reading. If a child does not know five words to a page, that book is too difficult for the child.  Reading easy books develops a feeling of self-satisfaction.  The child becomes more fluent and develops speed.  Usually, it is best to leave the difficult books for the school to handle.  Encouraging a child to read enjoyable and easy books develops a good foundation for reading in years to come.  If reading is always difficult, the child will shy away from it.

         Parents should see that books are available for children all the time.  Books should be in the car, so that when a child has to wait for a parent somewhere, the child can be reading.  Children can help make and read grocery lists.  They can read directions on packages to mom or dad when meals are being prepared.  Parents can find many opportunities to help children with reading and need not hesitate to do so.

Starting Kids to School on the Right Foot

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

  Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

       Getting off to a bad start in anything is not a good thing, but it is especially important that children get a good start at the beginning of each school year.  The start of the year sets the pattern of behavior for the remainder of the school year and possibility for years to come.  Having a set pattern removes uncertainty and much confusion as children practice firm rules in the home.  As those rules become habits, parents are more at ease and there is less worry on the part of both the parents and the children.

         Before school starts in the fall, parents need to sit down with children and pray with them that they will do their best.  Undue pressure should not be put on any child to make straight “A’s”.  Rather, children should be encouraged to do the best they can do with the abilities God has given them.  II Timothy 2:15 is a good verse to use to impress children to do their best in school. If a child can understand that it is God who is to be pleased more than self, teachers, or parents, studying becomes more important. This gives purpose and the proper attitude toward learning. The prayer instills a sense of seriousness about the importance of behavior and effort.

         Children need routine.  They need the understanding that their behavior is acceptable, and they need to know that their parents are concerned with their well-being.

         Why not use the cell phone, that most older children have, to help them remember their routine? Our youngest son programs the cell phone of his sons to remind them of what they are to do and when they are to do it.  They can then text him when the chores are accomplished. 

A good routine for children each school night might include the following:

1) Homework is done at a certain time and place; then, it is laid out in a special spot so the child will not have to hunt for it the next morning.

2) Anything that is to be taken to school with the homework is placed along with the homework in a designated spot to prevent the scurrying around that often occurs in many homes as children frantically try to get ready to go to school.

3) Clothes to be worn the next day are laid out and ready to be put on.

4) Any chores in the home that the child is to do the next day are explained, so that the child is not surprised with added activities that may interrupt his/her plans.

     5) The alarm clock is set.

      When these things are taken care of, one of the parent’s checks in on the child at bedtime to be available to hear questions or comments from the child before hearing the prayers of the younger children.  Older children may want to say prayers in private.

When the listed items are done, the child can go to bed at ease knowing all is ready for the next day.  That child knows that the right thing has been done and will have a sense of accomplishment. Both the children and the parents will rest better knowing that all is organized. 

When children wake up in the morning and their clothes are ready for them, they don’t have the turmoil in their minds to start the day wondering what to wear.  They don’t have to worry about their homework because they know where it is.  After a good breakfast, one or both parents can give each child a big hug and kiss before he/she walks out the door along with a word of advice such as, “Learn all you can learn!” or “No matter what happens today, I will still love you tonight!”  With a final, “I love you!” the child is on the way to a good day at school.

Children Benefit from Chores

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….(Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children Benefit from Chores

         Many parents and grandparents search for ways to “keep kids busy” during the summer.  Often the insinuation is that children must constantly be entertained and kept happy and having fun.  Often overlooked is the value of having children do chores for at least a few hours each day.  If a study were done of adults who did chores when young as opposed to adults who did not do chores when young, I feel confident that the more successful adults are those who had regular chores for which they were responsible as a child.

Often adults think it is much easier to do something themselves than to take the time to help a child learn to do it.  This probably is true in the short term, but once a child has learned to do a chore correctly, that child can be a great deal of help.  However, the real benefits are for the child rather than for the adult.  The list is endless.  Here are a few benefits:

  • There is no way for a child to develop self-esteem or self-worth without actually being of worth or value.  When a child does a task well, that child can honestly feel good about having done something of value.
  • Children learn proper procedures for caring for belongings.
  • Children learn about the effort that goes into making or growing something.  This leads to greater appreciation of the effort others make on their behalf for the things they enjoy.
  • Children get exercise when doing physical tasks.  A lack of exercise can lead to depression. Physical exercise creates endorphins that fight depression.
  • Vocabulary is increased as children learn the names of tools and cleaning agents and words used in giving instructions.
  • Children learn that nothing in life is truly free.  We each must work to obtain and care for wants and necessities.
  • Self-discipline is learned in tasks that may not be the most pleasant and yet must be completed.  This self-discipline leads to perseverance.
  • Chores keep a child busy doing positive things when the time might otherwise be used doing things that may be harmful.
  • When a child learns the proper care of his/her belongings, that child will have more respect for the belongings of others.
  • Chores connected to gardening or the out-of-doors help children learn the names of plants and some principles they will later study in science classes dealing with botany.
  • Chores related to the care of animals help children learn compassion and understanding that carries over in their relationships with people.
  • Children learn to listen and follow instructions—a necessity for job success as an adult.

The list could go on and on.  The benefits listed here are enough to justify adults taking the time to teach children how to do chores and to require that they be done.  During the school year, children are so busy with school and homework that it is difficult to have children do very many chores. Summer is the best time for parents to concentrate on teaching those things that children need to know to care for their own home in the future.  The parent who does not take advantage of this time is missing a real opportunity to shape a child.

Experience is the Best Teacher

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Experience is the Best Teacher

       One of the best things that parents can do for their children is to give them a variety of experiences.  There are many benefits in doing so.  Giving a child experiences in various areas increases a child’s understanding of the world around him/her.  It also increases a child’s vocabulary resulting in greater comprehension in reading.  Of course, it is important to choose the right kind of experiences.  

         When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we had a little boy who had many social problems.  He could do practically nothing in school.  He was frightened and kept running away from the dormitory and school.  He was sent to Phoenix to see a psychiatrist.  The problem was that the boy had lived with his deaf grandmother most of his life and spent most of his time herding sheep.  He had no one to talk to and no experiences other than sheep-herding.  This is an extreme example of a child who needed experiences.  He was frightened because he knew nothing about other children or the world around him.  He was not retarded mentally.  He seemed to catch on quickly once we started working with him and allowing him to play with the toys we had purchased for the children.  

The more experiences a child has, the greater understanding the child obtains of the world. The child develops a greater understanding of the emotions of people and is better able to fit into society. S/he also observes job requirements of various jobs and will be more able to be self-supporting in adulthood.

         Every new experience introduces new vocabulary to a child.  We tend to block out the things we don’t understand and “latch on” to the things that are familiar to us.  Many times students in my GED classes will tell me, “I have never heard that word before!”  In actuality, it may be a word that is commonly used in conversations.  They had simply blocked it out because they didn’t understand it.  When a child has many experiences, the vocabulary obtained from those experiences becomes familiar and is no longer blocked out.  The child then not only has a better understanding of what is read, but also better understands conversations that are going on all the time.  

What kind of experiences can we give our children?  Visiting National Parks is perhaps one of the best.  Right now, Civil War reenactments are taking place at some parks. National Parks are set aside because of their benefits to us.  When our children were young, my husband had a habit of stopping at roadside historical monuments when we traveled.  At home, simple projects around the house add to a child’s knowledge.  When dad teaches a child to repair something, that child is learning the names of tools, etc.  Cooking and sewing are good experiences for children. Even refinishing furniture and cleaning are good for children. 

         Summer is the perfect time to give children good experiences that will increase their vocabulary and help them understand the world around them. It would be good to take advantage of this opportunity.

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains

         
         “The longest journey starts with the first step”.  How true.  This philosophy can be applied to helping children set goals.  It is important to set short-term goals as a beginning to the achievement of long-term goals.  Parents often have the tendency to set ultimatums that overwhelm children; then, children tend to give up before they get started feeling that the task is impossible to achieve.

         Nothing succeeds like success.  Success breeds success; failure breeds failure.  When a child feels successful, that child will want to continue actions that achieved that success.  When a child experiences failure, that child will not want to continue.  If we help a child set goals that are easily achievable, the child will want to set another achievable goal.  

         How does this work in real life?  Suppose you want a small child to clean his/her bedroom. Instead of telling the child to clean the room, break the chore down in steps.  Perhaps start with telling the child to make the bed.  After that is accomplished, tell the child to pick up the things on the floor.  Next, the child could do the dusting of one piece of furniture at a time. Finally, the floor needs to be vacuumed or swept. Add other tasks as needed until the room is nice and clean. When the child then receives praise for a clean room, he/she feels a sense of pride and accomplishment and will be more apt to do it next time.  In addition, the child has been taught what is involved in cleaning a room.  

         Another example might involve a child learning the multiplication tables.  Instead of simply telling the child to learn the tables, help the child set a goal of learning the 8’s by a certain time.  Next, the child might learn the 9’s, etc.  This continues until all the tables are learned.

         If a child is struggling with homework, instead of simply telling the child to do the homework, a parent might say, “After this page is done, take a little break and get a glass of water or cookie.” Plan with the child by looking at how much is left to be done and dividing it up so that the child feels accomplishment along the way.  After each part is done, the child might be allowed to do something to have a little break.

         Still another example might be used in saving money.  Discuss with the child how much money can be saved by a certain time.  Make sure a special container is available for the money even if it is simply a clean jelly jar.  After the first goal has been reached, reset the goal for a certain date to have saved a greater amount.  It is helpful if a child has an object in mind to purchase or another plan for the money.  That would be the long-range goal.  The short-range goals along the way are very helpful in motivating the child to continue saving.

         Almost any task can be broken down in parts to encourage and motivate children.  It is good to have long-range goals as well, but the short- range goals are the stepping stones along the way.

Gardening is Good for Kids

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Gardening is Good for Kids

       When our children were young, one of their favorite records was “Carrot Seed”. It was a cute little song based on a book by the same name about a little boy who planted a tiny carrot seed and everyone told him it would not grow.  He watered it and pulled the weeds and finally one day he had a carrot!  The song expressed his jubilation about his accomplishment.

         Children can learn much by being involved in gardening.  They learn self-discipline as they work toward a goal.  They learn to appreciate the effort put into providing their food and they learn about the laws of nature.

         A child must follow instructions and do things right when planting, or the product shows it.  They learn about soil and soil nutrients. They learn about preparation for planting.  They learn about measurement when talking about the depth of planting. Once the plant is up, they must remember to water and discipline self to do so even when the temptation is to be lazy.  It is not a matter of having fun for a brief moment and then jumping to something else.  The child must learn to “stick with it” even when it is not fun. As children pull weeds, they learn about different plants. 

         It is through the effort a child puts into gardening that the child becomes appreciative of farmers who provide produce for our tables.  The child reasons that if that much work is required for a little garden, there must be a great deal of work involved in a big field of plants. Children will probably never look at vegetables on their plates the same way again after they have raised some themselves.  Hopefully, they will be less likely to waste their food.  Also, they will probably become more interested in different kinds of vegetables and how they are grown once they have grown one or more kinds.

         It is impossible to grow plants without marveling at the way they grow and produce.  We plant seeds, but God causes the plants to grow.  Children cannot help but think about their creator when they are involved in growing things. They begin to be amazed about other things around them as they expand their thinking to big plants like trees.  After they think about the plants, they begin to think about the other things that God made.  Boys and girls will consider big mountains, rivers, lakes, stars, and other things in God’s creation, all from planting one little plant or seed.

         Some of the easier things for children to grow are beans, potatoes, zucchini squash, and peppers.  Good flowers for children to start with are nasturtiums or marigolds.  These are more likely to produce success.  Carrot seeds are very small and even though the book and song are nice, I’m not sure that is a good vegetable with which children should start their gardening experience.

         Children are so very proud when they grow something that the family can enjoy eating.  This is a great way to boost a child’s self-esteem.  The child feels very important and worthwhile when one of the dishes on the table is provided by his/her efforts and the family talks about how good it tastes!  When the child says the blessing before eating, that child is likely to say thank you for the people who raised the food and thank you to God for making it grow…and mean it!