Tag Archives: parenting

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

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by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book)

Train up a child…

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

         I remember an occasion when we first moved back to the Ozarks that my husband and I decided to go to Aurora to see my brother-in-law.  Since I was raised in the Ozarks and had gone to Branson from Aurora many times, I thought it would be no problem to go to Aurora from Branson. The years away had caused me to forget some very important turns and we found ourselves going around in circles and zig-zagging back and forth.  I thought we would never get to Aurora!

         When children miss a lot of school, their learning takes a similar pattern.  They go to school one day, learn some things, miss school the next day, and forget some things.  Then, when they go back to school, they have to first go back and review or relearn what they learned two days before, try to catch up on what they missed the day they were absent, and at the same time do a full day’s work for that day.  Their learning takes a zigzag pattern.  We all know that we get someplace faster when we can go in a straight line than when we zigzag back and forth. This is why it is so important that children not miss school.

         Actually, children never completely catch up on what they missed while absent.  It is amazing how much a child can learn in one day.  This is especially true of first grade. Children move so rapidly in first grade and it is a foundation for the years to come.  I’ve always had a special place in my mind and heart for first-grade teachers.  They really have to be on top of things.  First grade is where the children learn the sounds that the letters of the alphabet make. If they miss school much, it will affect their reading.  Also, basic concepts of numbers are taught in first grade. Unfortunately, in the past this was the time that children came in contact with most of the childhood diseases and had to miss a lot of school.  Now, due to immunizations, many of these sicknesses have been eliminated. 

         Children should, of course, stay home if they are sick; however, parents should do all possible to keep their children healthy.  Good nutrition, cleanliness, and plenty of rest are very important.  Just as a car must have good gas to run, children should have wholesome food.  Their bodies don’t do well on a diet of pop tarts or sugar cereal.  Their little hands touch so many germs each day! Washing hands often helps keep the germs out of the system.  A good bath each night takes those germs off, so they are less likely to find their way inside the body.  They need to have a regular bedtime.  At bedtime, mom or dad needs to tuck them in and hear their prayers.  At this time, mom or dad can give the child a big hug and say a few words of reassurance to put the child in the right frame of mind to face the next day.  

         We don’t get “do-overs” with our children.  As this school year begins, let’s vow to do all we can to keep the children in good shape for school, keeping in mind that every day in school is an important day for learning.

Heredity, Environment, and Choices

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by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…

 Heredity, Environment, and Choices

         When a little baby makes its first appearance into the world, we all look at it with awe as we realize it to be a miracle from God and wonder what lies ahead for it.  Will the child be president some day?  Will the little girl be Miss America?  Maybe someday this child will discover a cure for cancer!  We go on and on speculating about the child’s future.

         As the child grows, we become more realistic in our expectations.  We begin to realize that what happens in the child’s future greatly depends on us.  We also see characteristics of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or even an aunt, uncle, or cousin.  In addition, we become frustrated when the child decides not to listen to our advice and defy what we so diligently have tried to teach.

         As nurturers, we can only affect the environment of the child.  We can make sure the child gets good food, a good education, and associates with people who may give a positive influence.  We can see that the child has good experiences to increase vocabulary and understanding of the surrounding world.  We can see that the child has clothing and a satisfactory place to live. We can take the child to church and give the child a spiritual foundation. We can make sure that the school is doing a good job in developing the child mentally.  We can make sure that he/she gets involved in sports or does physical activity.  We work very hard at these tasks.

         It is left to our Creator to determine the characteristics of a person.  God’s design is that both the father and mother contribute genes to a child to determine the child’s tendencies upon arrival into the world. Sometimes the child may be a “throwback” to previous generations, surprising the parents and making them wonder, “Where did that action come from?” We are left to work with what we get and raising any child is always a real challenge.  Any parent of two or more children can attest to the fact that there are no two children alike.  

         It can be very disappointing when a child grows up and seemingly wastes the talents inherited and the many efforts of parents who have nurtured tirelessly to help that child succeed in life.  On the other hand, it can be very rewarding when the child chooses to use inherited talents, abilities, and valuable advice received. Ultimately, it is always the choice of any individual as to whether inherited talents and abilities are used and advice is followed.  

         We can never be completely certain of the end product of our children.  We can only do our very best to raise children to influence them to make good choices and to have the tools to use once those choices are made. After all, God did not make us as puppets.  He could have designed us so that He would make our choices, but He chose not to do that. He designed us so that the only thing He cannot do is to choose for us.  In the end, each of us is accountable for self. Our actions are not justified by what our parents did or didn’t do, and it is the same with the children we are raising now.

Where’s the Learning Value?

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianwriter.com) Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…

Where’s the Learning Value?

         When I view some of the children’s programs and books that are available now,  I keep wondering, “Where’s the learning value?”  It seems that much of what is being done with children now tends to be more entertaining than containing real value for children.  That is not to say that children should not be entertained and have fun while learning.  Of course, most children like fun, but the real objective should be the teaching of values and information with the fun part as a by-product or side issue. There are times in life when we have to do things that are not fun and children need to learn that principle.

         Our present-day society provides so much entertainment for children that often we feel that we must compete in order to keep the attention of a child. This leads to shallowness when dealing with serious topics. It is difficult to hold attention of children very long, so we find ourselves dancing, shouting, or doing whatever it takes to keep their attention.  Some of this is fine, but there are times when a child needs to simply learn to sit still and listen.  We sometimes tend to glide over some things simply to get through the lesson.  

When I taught kindergarten, often parents brought children to me and said, “You have my permission to spank him!”  Can you see that happening now?  Teachers walk a thin line trying to get children to learn without upsetting them.  Children are aware of the fact that teachers are not allowed to spank and many take advantage of this fact.  In many cases, if students thought they could be spanked, the spanking would not be necessary.  As teachers walk this thin line, they know they cannot demand children perform past a certain point or the child and the parents will get upset.  This forces the teacher to let the child get by with things that prevent the depth of learning they need.  

         In church situations, teachers and leaders have to deal with the fact that a child may not return to church if made to behave appropriately.  Many parents do not require their children to attend church and leave it up to the child to decide.  This fact forces church workers to have to be very careful not to upset a child in providing discipline for proper behavior. At the same time, we have to remember that the whole purpose of getting a child to church is to teach that child ways of behavior pleasing to Jesus. When we fail to do that, we are actually teaching a child by default that it is alright to misbehave.

         There are many good (and bad) computer activities for children.  Parents need to be aware of what the children are doing with their devices. 

Children now have colorful books that talk or even smell when you scratch them.  Some books have fold-outs with hidden things beneath.  Much of this is great.  It would be even better if values for living were incorporated in the text, but often they are flat when it comes to a story plot. Since teachers and leaders of children are so restricted, we really need to choose the materials carefully that contain real value for children. Those working with children need to choose movies, games, and activities that do not only fill up time, but actually teach what children need to know. They also need to require behavior acceptable to Christ, but it must be required in a loving way.

Let’s remember that children have real problems and they need real solutions to those problems. They will be grown and gone soon. We have such a short time to prepare them for their future.

Parents, Kids, and Public Places

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book (Books available on my website, Amazon, Barnes & Noble)

Train up a child…

Parents, Kids, and Public Places

         Have you noticed the many signs in public places reminding parents to watch their children?  I saw one place that actually had a sign listing rules for children while in the restaurant.  In addition to the signs, proprietors comment about the problems they have when parents bring children to their places of business.  In a consignment shop, the proprietor told of a child who was running around in the store and knocked over a valuable antique mirror and broke it.  The parent became upset with the business owner for not having the place “child friendly”!

         Parents need to understand that they are totally responsible for the behavior of their children. Store owners, doctors, dentists, schools, and churches are not responsible for a child’s behavior even though they may be helpful in providing guidance or activities for a child. Ultimately, it is the parent who is responsible for the child and what that child does.

         Laying ground rules before leaving the house, providing activities for the child, and careful selection of the places a child is taken can alleviate the problems connected with taking children to public places.

         It is understandable that parents get tired, and perhaps even close to exhaustion, when children constantly place demands on them.  This often leads to parents taking a backseat to the child and becoming reactive instead of proactive.  We simply cannot allow ourselves to do that. In the long run it causes more effort and frustration.  Parents need to think ahead and not wait until a child does something wrong and then try to deal with it.  Preventive action is much better.  

Children feel more secure when they know what is expected of them.  They need to be told that they are not to touch anything in a store without permission. They should not run around or leave a chair unless told that it is alright to do so.  Begging and whining for things should not be allowed. Children should not interrupt conversations of others unless it is an emergency and even then they should say “excuse me”. In restaurants, parents need to oversee what is ordered to eat.  If a child is old enough and able, that child should pick up whatever is dropped and clean up any messes made.  If the child is unable to do so, the parent should do it.  When the child understands ahead of time that he/she must clean up the messes they make, that child will be more careful with the eating process.

         There are many nice children’s toys or activity books that children can take to a public place where waiting is involved.  Parents would be wise to have an activity bag packed and kept in the car for such occasions. There are electronic toys that will keep children occupied for great lengths of time.  Many of these have good educational value.  Older children could have a good book handy to take along.  I know a family who always makes a trip to a bookstore before going on an extended trip.  Each person chooses a book to read on the plane or in the car. Cell phones or Ipads are permissible on a limited basis, but reading books should not be totally abolished. Some books can be downloaded on devices.     

         There are some places where children should simply not be taken.  If mom is having a day out to have her hair fixed, arrangements should be made for the children to be elsewhere. Also, children do not belong in antique shops with valuable antiques that can be broken easily. Good judgment needs to be used in the selection of places to take children.  They need to understand that in order to go to certain places, they must act properly.

         A little preparation ahead of time can make life more pleasant for all concerned when children are in public places.

Children Need Rules

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book (Available on my website, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble)

Train up a child….

Children Need Rules to Live By

         Children who have no rules to live by are insecure and restless.  They are not successful in life and always seem to be seeking satisfaction and never finding it.  They are not happy children and do not make happy adults.  There is no certainty in their actions and they wonder if they are being accepted in society or not– and most often they are not! Parents, teachers, grandparents, and others are doing children no favors by letting them get by without obeying rules.  

         Rules must be appropriate and fair.  There are rules that are non-negotiable, rules that are negotiable, and rules that are self-imposed.  

         Non-negotiable rules need to be instilled in children early, so they can be taught at a very young age that certain ways of behaving are not open for debate.  Parents must determine these rules.  In our house one of those rules was that children were never to hit a parent as many babies are inclined to do when they don’t get their way. A parent can hold a child’s hand and firmly say, “Do not do that!” Of course, a baby will continue to try to have its way, but repeated and consistent rebukes will eventually stop the baby from trying. 

In addition to not hitting or sassing parents, our children grew up knowing that the family attended church regularly, and that was just something we did.  Other non-negotiable rules should include: not stealing, always telling the truth, taking care of things, using proper manners at the table, and being polite to other people. Each set of parents will have its own set of rules. Parents can simply tell children, “There are certain things we do and certain things we do not do at our house.”  It is necessary to follow up with consistency and not allow misbehavior to go unnoticed, even once, according to the rules that are set.

         After the “absolutely must” rules are in place, other rules need to be made for the day-by-day activities. It is much easier for children to obey this type of rule when they have had a part in crafting it. Ideally, adults and children express problems and discuss ways to correct the problems.  The rules are written down and placed in a prominent place for reference. If the rules deal with chores, a chart can be made for children to check off the chores as they are completed.  

         Many parents feel that they don’t have time to discuss rules with the children.  Actually, a family meeting saves a great deal of time. It becomes unnecessary for the parents to keep reminding the children if the rules are written down and the chart has been checked.  Whenever the parent glances at the chart, he/she can simply say, “Johnny, I see that you haven’t done your chore.  When do you plan to do it?”  

         Patterns set in the home for rules are carried over in the personality of the child, and that child becomes a person who imposes rules on self.  Children, who are accustomed to rules, understand that rules are important and they make their own rules for getting homework done or managing their relationships.  Our granddaughter once told me, “You know, Nana, I always do the hard stuff first to get it out of the way and then I don’t mind doing the easy stuff.”  This was a self-imposed rule that worked for her. As children do each task, they do what is called “self talk”.  This “self talk” often includes self-made rules that they follow.  

         Knowing to follow the rules eliminates uncertainty. They don’t have to wonder if they have done the right thing.  They know that they have done the right thing, and the fact that they have acted correctly helps in building self-esteem. There is an inner peace and assurance of rightness. Not only does the child feel good about him/herself, that child will probably receive many compliments from others, and that adds to self-esteem. When parents are fair and rules are fair, children learn to live by the rules in society.  I have never seen a child who seemed really happy who didn’t know how to follow rules.

Instilling Patriotism in Children

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Check out my latest book, “My Thinking Book”, a devotional book for children.

Train up a child…

Instilling Patriotism in Children

         There may be no better time than Independence Day for parents to instill in children the attitude and feeling of patriotism. As children experience the beautiful fireworks displays and understand that the same thing is happening throughout our nation, they can’t help but think about what it means to be living in America.  Adults need to take advantage of this “teachable moment” to encourage the feeling of pride for country and help the children understand, as much as possible, the cost paid for our freedom by our forefathers.

         One way to give a better understanding of our forefathers is to check the Internet for information regarding some of those individuals.  Children will be interested to learn about some of the inventions of Ben Franklin.  He invented bifocals, the lightning rod, a grasping tool, and even a musical instrument using glasses filled with different amounts of water.  He designed a ship with compartments so that if one compartment sprung a leak, the leak could not sink the ship.  

         Only two of Thomas Jefferson’s six children survived into adulthood.  He had specific instructions as to what he wanted on his tombstone.  He wrote a political pamphlet in which he stated, “The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time:  the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.” He designed his home, Monticello, in detail and had it built on property inherited from his family. 

         At the age of 16, George Washington helped survey Shenandoah lands.  He was very interested in western expansion of our country.  It will fascinate children to learn that he invented wooden false teeth.  It has been said that we always see pictures of him with his mouth closed because of his wooden false teeth.

         There are many, many interesting things to learn about our founding fathers and our country if we just take the time to explore with the children.  A visit to the library will uncover many interesting books for the children to read during the summer months.  

         It is easy to develop an appreciation of the past history of our country.  What is not so easy is to develop a feeling of appreciation for our country now.  It is difficult as a teacher to help the children learn to respect authority of our government when they hear so much criticism from parents, grandparents, and others.  When children hear parents say, “They are all a bunch of crooks!” they wonder why, then, are they supposed to obey laws made by those “crooks”.  It was a real struggle in my GED classes to get students to understand that our government is “we”, not “they”.  

         We need to be very careful to discuss policies of our government without “badmouthing” the people making those policies. It is very difficult in times of frustration to separate what our politicians do from who they are.  We are commanded in the Bible to pray for our leaders and we should do just that.  Instead of venting our anger to those around us, we need to be finding ways to make the changes that we believe are needed in a respectful way.  

         Our country has had many problems since its beginning.  We need to help our children join us in praying for our country and deciding how we can be the best citizens possible.    

Children Need to Learn Personal Responsibility

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children Need to Learn Personal Responsibility

         “The government should buy each of us an electronic dictionary.”

         “They’re all a bunch of crooks!”

         “The President should__________.”

         “The only jobs there are are those old crappy jobs.” 

“The government doesn’t give us enough money to live on.

The above are all true comments heard in GED class when I was teaching.  They clearly indicate a lack of understanding of how our government is supposed to be a government “of the people, by the people, and for the people”.  “We, the people,” not “They, the people” are responsible for what happens in our country.

         Children need to be taught at an early age to accept personal responsibility as citizens for self and others.  Without this teaching, people become like leeches, living off the lives of others.  

         Children need to see their parents go vote.  Children need to hear their parents talk civilly about the candidates and their policies.  Children need to understand that our founding fathers set up a government with checks and balances making the congressmen and congresswomen as responsible as the president for decisions that are made.

         I have found that very few of the students I have taught knew the three branches of the government: executive, legislative, and judicial.  They did not know that the Senate and House of Representatives make up Congress.  They did not know that there are two Senators from each state and that Representatives are elected according to population based on the census every ten years. Further, they did not know the meaning of checks and balances, a system set up by the founders of our country to make sure that no one branch of government has too much power.  Had they known about the system of checks and balances, they would have known that the president cannot be solely blamed for mistakes nor can he solely take credit for successes.  In fact, the president can do very little alone.  Understanding this fact would make more people take greater consideration in the Senators and Representatives they vote for.  

         Children need to be taught that all money coming from Washington, D.C., must first go there, and that taxpayers are the ones who send it there.  They need to be told that they have a responsibility to send money toWashington, D.C. and not just think of what they can get fromWashington, D.C.    In fact, right now other countries are helping fund our government, making us indebted to them.  Also, by the time our tax money goes to Washington and then comes back, it has dwindled a great deal due to the many expenses associated with counting, disbursement, etc.  It would be of more personal value to keep it home in the first place.  

         Unfortunately, many parents act as though they do not understand these facts.  If parents and grandparents do not understand, how can they teach the children?  Perhaps greater thought needs to be given before discussing our government in front of children. WE are the government.  We govern through the people we elect.  We have no right to say they are the government.  We need to write letters, attend meetings held by our voted-in officials, and encourage our elected officials to govern as it was originally intended.

         Let’s make sure our children understand the truth about our country.  If we start teaching our children about our government while they are young, perhaps they will know more when they grow up than one student I had who wrote in a paper about “President Busch”.  

Note: Check out my latest book: My Thinking Book__A daily devotional book for children concisely explaining basic teachings of the Bible. Available on my website: www.patlambchristianauthor.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble.

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

Whether we are rich, poor, handsome, short, tall, educated, or uneducated, we all have one thing in equal amounts.  That one thing is time.  We each have 24 hours in a day.  The way mothers use their time may determine whether they or their children become a success in life.  Mothers should try to stay busy, make their busy-ness count positively, and protect their time from being stolen by others who would pressure them to do things that are not productive for their family.

         The 31stchapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible describes the “perfect” woman.  In the 27thverse of that chapter we read that a good woman “does not eat the bread of idleness”.  One result of modern day conveniences is that we have more time on our hands.  It is tempting to allow ourselves to be idle since we are not required to do as much physical work as our mothers had to do.  I have heard so many women say that they eat too much because they are bored. As a result, they then worry about being overweight.  

The Bible does not say that we stop being mothers when the children reach a certain age. Even if our children are grown and far away, we can still e-mail them or write words of encouragement, make gifts for them and their children, find appropriate books and information to help them, or do many other things to promote their well being.  We need to keep busy being a good mother no matter what the age of the children. Idleness truly does breed contempt.  An idle person is usually not a happy person. Physical exercise produces an enzyme that fights depression.  We need to stay as active as we can, doing productive activities. 

         It is important to choose activities that are beneficial to children. When mothers read to children, it is wise to choose books that not only entertain, but also teach good values. Some books and games have little value for children while others have great value.  Why waste time on something worthless when so much can be accomplished with worthwhile activities.  One of the very best ways to use time well is to allow children to assist with work. This provides time for bonding as well as teaching children how to care for the home. Children and parents can be side-by-side in work and play.

         There are many things that would steal our time.  Even good things can keep us from doing better things.  There may be good TV shows, but we need to ask ourselves whether they are actually worth the time they take by producing positive benefits. Many organizations plead for help from mothers and many of those organizations have worthwhile causes.  If we try to be helpful in too many of them or in too many ways to any one of them, we may be allowing them to steal time that would be better spent with our children. 

         Time passes far too quickly to waste it.  When our children are small, it may seem like forever until they grow up and are on their own.  Those of us who are older know that the time when they are home is so very short in relation to the time when they are away.  My husband and I were married fifty-five years and most of that time was spent together after the children  left home. That is true of many other couples as well. Mom, let’s make that short time count!  

Children Need to Respect Mom

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children Need to Respect Mom

         For many mothers, Mother’s Day is the favorite holiday of the year.  It is so nice to be honored and hear the expressions of love and appreciation.  However, in many cases, mothers are not given the respect or honor they should receive not only on Mother’s Day but also during the remainder of the year.  

         In order for a mother to be respected, she must do some things to earn that respect, dad needs to encourage the children to respect their mother, and a family needs to attend a church where children are taught the importance of the family and the command to honor parents.

         Although we should each respect our mother whether the respect is earned or not, it is so much easier when the mother does and does not do certain things.  Mothers should have the well-being of the family in her mind and heart first after love for God.  A Godly woman is a woman who is filled with love as described in the 13thchapter of I Corinthians in the Bible.  She is patient with her children and understands each child is unique. She needs to do her best to see that the children are getting proper food and have a clean, orderly house to live in.  She needs to be an encourager.  Her speech should be gentle.  Mothers who use profanity and “street talk” have a hard time getting real respect from children.  

         Dad plays a big role in teaching children proper respect. He needs to set a good example for the children by showing respect to their mother.  In addition to setting the example, he needs to require the children to always speak respectfully and to listen to the mother.  Under no circumstances should he override the mother’s decision in the presence of the children.  To do so indicates that he does not believe that she is capable of making right decisions for them. Children quickly pick up on this attitude and they, too, decide that she is not capable of giving them advice.  If dad disagrees with mom, the issue should be settled between the two of them out of the presence of the children.  When men talk down to their wives in front of the children, the children get the impression that their mother is inferior. Mother’s Day presents an opportunity for dad to work with the children to remind them to do something to show their appreciation and love for their mother.  

         Families who do not attend church are robbing themselves of a great deal of help.  In church, the children are taught the Ten Commandments. They usually are required to memorize them.  One of the commandments tells us to honor our fathers and mothers.  This is not an option.  God holds us responsible to obey this commandment as well as the others.  It really helps to have someone outside the family teaching the children to act properly and to respect their parents. As I watch children in church recite Scripture, sing songs, and learn how to behave properly, I often feel sad to think how many children are missing out on these activities.  These activities, along with camp opportunities, enhance the learning they get at school and home. They get practice in memorizing and they learn Scripture verses about acting correctly which better prepares them for life.

         Although Mother’s Day comes only one time each year, we should teach children to love and respect their mothers at all times.  This positive behavior should become a pattern of behavior to last a lifetime.  

“Preventive Discipline”

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

“Preventive Discipline”

         We’ve all heard of preventive maintenance.  We check the roof of our house to make sure we replace it before we get leaks to cause greater damage.  We get regular oil changes for our cars to prevent engine damage, etc.  Why not do some preventive work with our children so we won’t have to discipline them later??

         What kind of preventive discipline can we do?  Believe it or not, one of the very best actions we can take is to teach children good manners.  Since the basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others, by teaching this, many future problems can be avoided.  

         Take, for instance, the fussing and arguing that so often occurs with youngsters.  If the child has been taught to be kind and considerate to others, he will not always demand his own way.  Instead, he will think of making the other person happy.  Don’t most arguments occur because someone wants his or her own way?  If that person has been taught to be kind and considerate of others, many arguments can be avoided.  

         Often, we adults are guilty of punishing a child for doing something wrong when the child has not previously been made to understand that that particular action was unacceptable. Children should have clear concepts of what is expected ahead of time else the punishment is really unfair.  We can prevent much discipline by taking the time to teach the child why or why not he should act a certain way.  Only then is it fair to punish a child for poor behavior.

         Another way to prevent the need for discipline is to control the environment of the child.  To some extent we can control situations and see that a child does not get put in a place where his weaknesses will undoubtedly lead to misbehavior.  This is especially true with very young children.  If you know two children are going to fight over a toy, take one child with you to do something else before he sees the toy.  As children grow older, become acquainted with families whose children will be a good influence on your children.  Control the child’s acquaintances.  My dad used to say, “One boy a whole boy, two boys a half boy, and three boys no boy at all”.

         A part of controlling a child’s environment includes choosing a good school and taking children to acceptable places of recreation.  We need to be involved in the social life of children.  Some might say, “Teens don’t want their parents around”. This may be true but they need parents whether they want them or not.  The flip side is that parents should try not to embarrass their children. However, our parenting does not end when children become teenagers.  In fact, I dare say, we are needed much more at this time.  It is so great to see teenagers who are not afraid to give mom and dad a hug and kiss in front of their friends!

         If we watch closely, we will find many ways to stop the need for discipline.  We will never get to the place where no discipline is needed, but we can certainly eliminate a great deal of it. Much of the time, we can guide and direct children in the way they should go without being harsh.