Tag Archives: mental health of children

Heredity, Environment, and Choices

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

 Heredity, Environment, and Choices

         When a little baby makes its first appearance into the world, we all look at it with awe as we realize it to be a miracle from God and wonder what lies ahead for it.  Will the child be president some day?  Will the little girl be Miss America?  Maybe someday this child will discover a cure for cancer!  We go on and on speculating about the child’s future.

         As the child grows, we become more realistic in our expectations.  We begin to realize that what happens in the child’s future greatly depends on us.  We also see characteristics of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or even an aunt, uncle, or cousin.  In addition, we become frustrated when the child decides not to listen to our advice and defy what we so diligently have tried to teach.

         As nurturers, we can only affect the environment of the child.  We can make sure the child gets good food, a good education, and associates with people who may give a positive influence.  We can see that the child has good experiences to increase vocabulary and understanding of the surrounding world.  We can see that the child has clothing and a satisfactory place to live.  We can take the child to church and give the child a spiritual foundation. We can make sure that the school is doing a good job in developing the child mentally.  We can make sure that he/she gets involved in sports or does physical activity.  We work very hard at these tasks.

         It is left to our Creator to determine the characteristics of a person.  God’s design is that both the father and mother contribute genes to a child to determine the child’s tendencies upon arrival into the world.  Sometimes the child may be a “throwback” to previous generations, surprising the parents and making them wonder, “Where did that action come from?” We are left to work with what we get and raising any child is always a real challenge.  Any parent of two or more children can attest to the fact that there are no two children alike.  

         It can be very disappointing when a child grows up and seemingly wastes the talents inherited and the many efforts of parents who have nurtured tirelessly to help that child succeed in life.  On the other hand, it can be very rewarding when the child chooses to use inherited talents, abilities, and valuable advice received. Ultimately, it is always the choice of any individual as to whether inherited talents and abilities are used and advice is followed.  

         We can never be completely certain of the end product of our children.  We can only do our very best to raise children to influence them to make good choices and to have the tools to use once those choices are made.  After all, God did not make us as puppets.  He could have designed us so that He would make our choices, but He chose not to do that.  He designed us so that the only thing He cannot do is to choose for us.  In the end, each of us is accountable for self. Our actions are not justified by what our parents did or didn’t do, and it is the same with the children we are raising now.

Children Need Rules to Live By

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children Need Rules to Live By

Train up a child….

Children Need Rules to Live By

         Children who have no rules to live by are like ships without anchors.  They are insecure and restless.  They are not successful in life and always seem to be seeking satisfaction and never finding it.  They are not happy children and do not make happy adults.  There is no certainty in their actions and they are somewhat like a ship without a steering mechanism and seem to be tossed here and there. Parents, teachers, grandparents, and others are doing children no favors by letting them get by without obeying rules.  

         Rules must be appropriate and fair.  There are rules that are non-negotiable, rules that are negotiable, and rules that are self-imposed.  

         Non-negotiable rules need to be instilled in children early, so they can be taught at a very young age that certain ways of behaving are not open for discussion or debate.  Parents must determine these rules.  In our house one of those rules was that children were never to hit a parent as many babies are inclined to do when they don’t get their way.  Even at that young age, a parent can hold a child’s hand and firmly say, “Do not do that!” Of course, a baby will continue to try to have its way, but repeated and consistent rebukes will eventually stop the baby from trying. In addition to not hitting or sassing parents, our children grew up knowing that the family attended church regularly and that was just something we did and it was not open for debate. Other non-negotiable rules should include: not stealing, always telling the truth, not tearing up things, using proper manners at the table when eating, being polite to other people. Each set of parents will have its own set of rules. Parents can simply tell children, “There are certain things we do and certain things we do not do at our house.”  It is necessary to follow up with consistency and not allow misbehavior to go unnoticed even once according to the rules that are set.

         After the “absolutely must” rules are in place, other rules need to be made for the day-by-day activities. It is much easier for children to obey this type of rule when they have had a part in crafting it. Ideally, adults and children express problems and discuss ways to correct the problems.  The rules are written down and placed in a prominent place for reference.  If the rules deal with chores, a chart can be made for children to check off the chores as they are completed.  

         Many parents feel that they don’t have time to have a meeting and discussion with the children.  Actually, in the long run a family meeting saves a great deal of time as well as frustration. It becomes unnecessary for the parents to keep reminding the children if the rules are written down and the chart has been checked.  Whenever the parent glances at the chart, he/she can simply say, “Johnny, I see that you haven’t done your chore.  When do you plan to do it?”  Allowances can be withheld if chores are not completed or rules are not followed.  

         Patterns set in the home for rules are carried over in the personality of the child, and that child becomes a person who imposes rules on self.  Children, who are accustomed to rules, understand that rules are important and they make their own rules for getting homework done or managing their relationships.  Our granddaughter once told me, “You know, Nana, I always do the hard stuff first to get it out of the way and then I don’t mind doing the easy stuff.”  This was a self-imposed rule that worked for her.  As children do each task, they do what is called “self talk”.  This “self talk” often includes self-made rules that they follow.  

         Knowing to follow the rules eliminates the uncertainty of what to do. Children who know and follow rules don’t have to wonder if they have done the right thing.  They know that they have done the right thing, and the fact that they have acted correctly helps in building self-esteem. There is an inner peace and assurance of rightness.  Not only does the child feel good about him/herself, that child will probably receive many compliments from adults and children alike, and that adds to self-esteem as well. When parents are fair and rules are fair, children learn to live by the rules in society.  I have never seen a child who seemed really happy who didn’t know how to follow rules.

Sometimes Dads “Got No Respect”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of : Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)

Sometimes Dads “Got No Respect”

Train up a child…

       It is too bad that sometimes dad does not have the respect he should have in his family.  I’m sure he feels like Rodney Dangerfield at times when he would say, “I got no respect!”  No matter what kind of dad he is, dad deserves a certain amount of respect simply because he is dad.  However, there are many things he can do to make respecting him easier for all with whom he comes in contact.  Following is a list of suggestions:

  • Dad, say what you mean and mean what you say.  When you tell a child to do something and then don’t follow through to see that it is done, the child thinks you will forget it the next time and he/she can get by without obeying.
  • Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep.  Learn to say, “I will try to do ______” instead of “I will do ______”.
  • Show respect to the children and their mom.  You will get respect in return.
  • Be kind and gentle to mom.  The kids are watching how you treat her.  If you mistreat her, they think they can mistreat her also.  They love their mom and will resent anyone hurting her.  They will respect you for being patient with her and treating her nicely.
  • Speak kindly of neighbors and acquaintances.  
  • Honor your debts.  Pay bills quickly and try not to be indebted to others.
  • Discipline the children out of love and concern, not anger.  They know the difference.  When you discipline with anger, it is because you are thinking of how you have been inconvenienced, not what is best for the child.
  • Spend time with the children and take interest in their activities at school and church.
  • Be quick to say “I’m sorry” when you have done wrong. False pride causes us to think we will be disrespected if we admit weakness, but actually the opposite is true.  
  • Be honest in all business dealings.  The kids are watching.
  • “Take the bull by the horns” and be the spiritual head of your household.  Make sure the family goes to church.
  • Remember birthdays.  Do whatever it takes to help you remember even if it means putting notes on the bathroom mirror.
  • Practice what you preach.  “Do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work.

         How often do we hear, “Kids show no respect anymore”?  One of the reasons some children do not respect parents and other adults is that we do not do the things necessary to earn that respect.  We can each improve in this area.

“Jesus Lives at Nana’s House”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come: Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a Child…

“Jesus Lives at Nana’s House”

 Our 2 ½ yr. old grandson was asked, “Garrett, where is Jesus?”  He thought for a moment and then replied, “Jesus lives at Nana’s house!”  

         I wondered why Garrett would say what he said, and I started thinking about what a 2 ½ yr. old would or could know about Jesus and why he responded as he did.  His folks do not take him to Sunday School or church.  I have sung “Jesus Loves Me”, “Jesus Loves the Little Children”, “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam”, and other songs about Jesus as I rocked him, read to him, then sang and prayed with him at bedtime. Although I seldom get to see him since he lives in Iowa and my husband and I live in Missouri, undoubtedly. he had learned that there was someone named Jesus through the limited effort I had made.  

         Sometimes we mistakenly think that there is nothing we can do to influence our grandchildren. Contrary to this notion, I believe grandparents have a very important role to play in influencing those little ones around us.  It is never too early to start.  Even a tiny baby can be influenced by music and words.  As a child hears an adult say, “Please bless Mommy & Daddy, Nana & Grandpa, and everyone in the whole wide world”, he becomes aware of the needs of others.  

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The above was written when our grandson was a baby.  Now, he is enrolled in college and will begin his journey toward a degree in geology next fall.  (I still have a “pet rock” in my car that I carry around wherever I go, that he gave me when he was a toddler.)  He lives far from me but to my knowledge, he still doesn’t attend church.  Although it bothers me to think of him not attending church, it gives me some satisfaction to know that he has heard of Jesus and has learned good manners.

Grandparents, we should never underestimate the influence we can have on our grandchildren.  We need to continually pray for them and do whatever we can to help them learn about our Lord.  Grandparents hold a special place in the heart of most children, and we should never underestimate the amount of influence we can have on them.  We should not, however, continually brag on them while they are listening.  After all, if they keep hearing us say how wonderful they are, where is the incentive to improve?

Let me repeat, let’s not forget the influence we can have on our grandchildren! It is an opportunity we cannot afford to pass up!

                                                               Pat Lamb (Nana)

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

         It’s hard to believe that so much of the summer vacation from school has already passed! There were so many plans!  Have they all been met? It is a good idea now to review the plans that were made at the beginning of summer and see what has been accomplished and what needs to be emphasized in the time remaining before the children go back to school.

         Remember all those plans for the kids for summer vacation?  I’m guessing that there were plans to teach them how to be good homemakers.  There were plans to give them experiences that would be good for them, and there were plans to have fun together as a family. There is some time left to try to make up for those things that have not yet been accomplished. 

         During the time left, children can try their hands in the kitchen following recipes and preparing food for the family.  The product doesn’t have to be perfect.  Praise the children for good effort.  Select easy recipes so they can feel a sense of accomplishment. There are many recipes suitable for children.  

         It is almost always a good idea to choose chores simple enough to allow the children to feel successful.  Feeling successful motivates children to try again.  When a child feels failure, that child avoids doing that task another time for fear of failing again. Do not jump in and do the chore for the children no matter how tempting it may be.  Children learn from mistakes. Chores should include cleaning and making minor repairs.  How are they doing with helping in the yard?  Now is the time to make sure all has been covered that the children are able to accomplish. Once the children are back in school, there will be limited time to teach things necessary for children to grow up and have good homes of their own.

         Have the children had good experiences this summer that include visiting historic monuments or national parks?  Have they taken part in new activities that expand their understanding of others? There is still time to go on trips as a family.  There are many interesting places in our area.  We live in a beautiful place in this country.  Helping children appreciate that beauty will go a long way in creating a good attitude.

         Has the family simply had lots of fun together?  If not, make sure the summer does not end without doing so.  Whether it is playing games together, working together, or traveling together, fun times create special memories.  Good “belly laughs” are remembered for a long time.  Fun times create memories that act as glue for a family to stick together.

         Don’t come to the end of the summer and have to say, “Where did the time go?”  Use the time now to work and play with children. They will be gone from home before you know it!

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child..

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

         It’s hard to believe that so much of the summer vacation from school has already passed! There were so many plans!  Have they all been met? It is a good idea now to review the plans that were made at the beginning of summer and see what has been accomplished and what needs to be emphasized in the time remaining before the children go back to school.

         Remember all those plans for the kids for summer vacation?  I’m guessing that there were plans to teach them how to be good homemakers.  There were plans to give them experiences that would be good for them, and there were plans to have fun together as a family. There is some time left to try to make up for those things that have not yet been accomplished. 

         During the time left, children can try their hand in the kitchen following recipes and preparing food for the family.  The product doesn’t have to be perfect.  Praise the children for good effort.  Select easy recipes so they can feel a sense of accomplishment. There are many recipes suitable for children.  

         It is almost always a good idea to choose chores simple enough to allow the children to feel successful.  Feeling successful motivates children to try again.  When a child feels failure, that child avoids doing that task another time for fear of failing again. Do not jump in and do the chore for the children no matter how tempting it may be.  Children learn from mistakes. Chores should include cleaning and making minor repairs.  How are they doing with helping in the yard?  Now is the time to make sure all has been covered that the children are able to accomplish. Once the children are back in school, there will be limited time to teach things necessary for children to grow up and have good homes of their own.

         Have the children had good experiences this summer that include visiting historic monuments or national parks?  Have they taken part in new activities that expand their understanding of others? There is still time to go on trips as a family.  There are many interesting places in our area.  We live in a beautiful place in this country.  Helping children appreciate that beauty will go a long way in creating a good attitude.

         Has the family simply had lots of fun together?  If not, make sure the summer does not end without doing so.  Whether it is playing games together, working together, or traveling together, fun times create special memories.  Good “belly laughs” are remembered for a long time.  Fun times create memories that act as glue for a family to stick together.

         Don’t come to the end of the summer and have to say, “Where did the time go?”  Use the time now to work and play with children. They will be gone from home before you know it!

Word Power

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising Children…

Word Power

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be acceptable in Your sight,

O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. 

Psalm 19:14 (NKJV)

Have you ever heard very young children use ugly words while playing or talking to others?  I have and it is not pretty. Where did they get such a vocabulary?  In all likelihood, they picked it up from family at home or classmates at school.  There was a time when we did not hear so much of such talk.  Now, it seems, that even news on TV often contains much bad language.  The Bible tells us not to use the Lord’s name in vain, yet many people do just that! At times, it seems, that there is nothing sacred any more!  Why is this the case?

God’s preferences do not change.  It seems that people who use foul language often let it overflow into their thoughts and come flying out of the mouth.  This is not pleasing to God!  We need to control our tongue and use acceptable language, especially in front of children.

There is a song that I used to sing to my children.  It has several verses.  One of the verses says:  “Be careful little mouth what you say, Be careful little mouth what you say.  There’s a Father up above, looking down on you with love, so be careful little mouth what you say.”  It has other verses about being careful what we hear and see. Additional verses say be careful little hands what you do, and be careful little feet where you go.  It is easy to make up tunes to go with the words.  We are trying to get the ideas across and whatever tune we come up with will work. This song helps children be aware that they are in control of their actions and words.

It is also good to use questions when talking to children.  Telling is not teaching.  When we tell a child something, as my mom used to say, “It goes in one ear and out the other!”  However, when we ask questions, it requires a child to think in order to come up with an answer.  What are some questions we can ask children?  One question might be, “How would you feel if someone said that about you?”  Another question might be, “Can you think of a nicer way to say what you are trying to say?”  Another might be, “Do you enjoy having people talk to you the way you are talking to others? 

Another way to help children with words is simply singing as you work.  To this day, I can remember my dad singing in the fields such songs as, “You Can’t Do Wrong and Get By” and “Farther Along”.  He sang many other songs that have stuck with  me as well.  

We should never underestimate the power of the words our children hear us say.  As we work around them, we can sing good songs with acceptable meaning to God.  Also, we can eliminate those ugly words parents are often tempted to use!

Children and Their Feelings of Guilt

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by Pat Lamb (Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

Children and their feelings of Guilt

         Sometimes children feel guilty when they shouldn’t.  Sometimes children don’t feel guilty when they should.  Sometimes adults mistakenly have the opinion that since children are young, they should never have to feel guilty.  We seldom hear discussion about guilty feelings in children.

         God gave us many emotions and feelings when he created man.  To try to eliminate any one of them completely would be to tell by our actions that we think God made a mistake.  There are reasons for the way God created us. If we never felt guilty about anything, we would never feel a need to change our actions.  On the other hand, unhealthy guilt is stifling to accomplishment.

         It seems to be a consensus among “experts” that quite often children in broken homes carry a feeling of guilt thinking they were the cause of their parents’ separation.  This should not be the case.  Someone needs to make sure that children understand they are not the cause of parents not being able to work things out.  The blame belongs totally on the parents…not the children.  Grandparents may need to step up in some situations, when the parents are unable or unwilling to do so, and make sure that children involved in broken homes do not carry the burden of guilt.

         There are times, however, when children should feel guilty.  When they know they have done something wrong, they should not be told, “Oh, that’s ok.  Just forget it.”  Children who don’t deal with guilt usually carry it around with them causing them to act in various ways.  Sometimes children carrying guilt will try to shift the blame to another.  Sometimes children with guilt act out.  Guilt is God’s way of telling us that there is something we need to deal with in our lives.

         How do we help children cope with guilt?  Truth is always best.  If the child has done something wrong, we need to affirm that it is wrong by agreeing with them.  Secondly, we need to let the child know that there is a remedy for wrongdoing.  The Bible tells us that when we have wronged someone, we should go to them and apologize and try to make that thing right.  The story of Zacchaeus, the tax collector, is one story in the Bible where Zacchaeus was repentant and volunteered to pay people he had cheated four-fold. (Luke 19) There are many places in the Bible that tell us to have pure hearts.  The heart becomes pure by God’s forgiveness.  God forgives when we confess our sin.  We do not confess our sin unless we feel guilty.  Without guilt, there is no shame or repentance.  Without repentance, there is no salvation.  John, the Baptist, in the New Testament constantly preached that people should repent.  Children cannot repent unless they recognize and feel guilty for their sins.

         Do young children really sin?  Yes!  I remember well a little kindergartner who told me “I hate my mother!”  The way he said it convinced me that he meant it. Even babies have anger issues. Most mothers immediately recognize the difference in a crying baby’s need and anger.  Much crying is because the child wants its own way, not necessarily because it needs something.

         It is necessary for us as parents and grandparents to learn to identify the feelings of guilt in children and help them deal with those feelings.  We should not try to eradicate all feelings of guilt, but simply teach the child that God will forgive and wipe our sins away as far as the east is from the west if we are truly sorry.  That is the only way to adequately deal with guilt.

What is a Real Home?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

What is a Real Home?

         When I was a child still at home, my dad often quoted the following poem to my four sisters and me.  The meaning has stuck with me through the years and I believe it will stick with today’s children as well if we take the time to repeat it for them.

It Takes a Heap O’ Livin

By Edgar A. Guest

It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’make it home,

A heap o’ sun an’ shadder, an’ ye somtimes have t’roam

Afore ye really ‘preciate the things ye lef’ behind,

An’ hunger for ’em somehow, with ’em allus on yer mind.

It don’t make any difference how rich ye get t’be,

How much yer chairs an’ tables coast, how great yer luxury;

It ain’ a hom t’ye, though it be the palace of a king,

Until somehow yer soul is sort o’ wrapped round everything.

Home ain’t a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute

Afore it’s home there’s got t’be a heap o’ livin’ in it;

Within the walls there’s got t’be some babies born, and then

Right there ye’ve got t’bring ’em up t’women good, and’ men;

And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn’t part

With anything they ever used–they’ve grown into yer heart:

The old high-chairs, the play things, too, the little shoes they wore

Ye hoard; an’ if ye could ye’d keep the thumb-marks on the door.

Ye’eve got t’weep t’make it home, ye’eve got t’sit an’ sigh

An’ watch beside a loved one’s bed, an’ know that Death is nigh;

An’ in the stillness o’ the night t’see Death’s angel come

An’ close the eyes o’ her that smiled, an’ leave her sweet voice dumb.

For these are scenes that grip the heart, an’ when yer tears are dried,

Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an’ sanctified;

An’ tuggin’ at ye always are the pleasant memories

O’ her that was an’ is no more–ye can’t escape from these.

Ye’ve got to sing an’ dance fer years, ye’ve got t’romp an’ play,

An’ learn t’love the things ye have by usin’ ’em each day;

Even the roses round the porch must blossom year by year

Afore they ‘come a part o’ ye, suggestin’ someone dear

Who used t’love ’em long ago, an’ trained ’em just t’run

The way they do, so’s they would get the early mornin’ sun;

Ye’ve got to love each brick an’ stone from cellar up t’dome;

It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’make it home.

         How very true!

Children Learn from the Past

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Learn from the Past

         Memorial Day is not just for adults.  Children can gain much benefit from participating in Memorial Day traditions.  The holiday provides a wonderful opportunity for parents to tell stories of family history as well as explaining some of the past wars that have been fought for our freedom.  The ritual of decorating graves brings a reality that life on this earth has an ending, and we need to make good use of the time we have here.

         Children can gain a sense of pride from learning of accomplishments of past ancestors.  As they hear stories from parents of the good accomplishments and heroic deeds of relatives, a feeling of “I want to do something heroic, too” is instilled in children.  They gain a higher purpose in life and do not concentrate so much on self pleasure.  Stories of “black sheep” in the family should also be told as examples of what not to become. Children are quite often surprised to hear of both good and bad examples in the family background.  Their lives are greatly influenced by these stories that can come only from the family.

         Memorial Day is a time to remember not only family members who have passed away, but it is also a time to remember those who have fought for our country.  Children should hear this at least every year.  Even if the stories have been told before, they should be told again.  Hearing such stories brings a sense of reality to life that is often lacking in today’s children.  It also instills a sense of appreciation for our country and the freedom we still enjoy.  A walk through many cemeteries in the Ozarks will reveal the small Civil War gravestones of so many who fought in that war.  Just the walk, itself, is a good history lesson for children.

         If decorations are being taken to the graves of past loved ones, let the children hold the decorations and put them in place.  Doing so brings home the reality of death.  Although this may sound a bit gruesome, children need to learn that death is a part of life.  Some people opt to give donations to charities in memory of loved ones rather than spend the money on flowers. In such a case, include the children in the planning process and let them help in any way possible even to the point of using some of their own money.

         A good way to cap off the day’s activities is to have a family picnic or some other family activity.  There will probably be time for games.  At this time of year, outdoor games can be played with the children to make the day a pleasant memory for them.  Nothing makes a child happier than to play games with parents.  They think it is really funny to watch parents run and play. It is especially fun if they can beat their parents in a game.

         Memorial Day can be a day to remember the past, have meaningful fun in the present, and help children be better adults for the experience in the future.