Tag Archives: parenting

It’s Tough to be a Teen

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.come

Train up a child…

It’s Tough to be a Teen

         I once viewed a video from the Missouri School Board Association that started off with a statement that one out of every five students in Missouri high schools contemplates suicide at one time or another.  What a terrible statistic!  The gentleman speaking went on to encourage all school workers in Missouri to be on the lookout for troubled students.

         Why would teens want to commit suicide?  One of the reasons given by experts is lack of hope.  Another reason is the use of drugs.  A third reason, in my opinion, may be a lack of religious training to educate them with the fact that suicide is not an end, but a beginning of an after life.

         It is difficult for teenagers to cope in society.  Most adults expect teens to be a problem.  This causes teens to feel that it is normal for them to do things they shouldn’t be doing.  I believe, as do many other teachers with whom I’ve spoken, that around age 12 a child comes to a crossroad in life. At this point, the child makes a decision as to whether he/she will try to live a good life or just go for doing what feels good at the moment.  Peer pressure influences this decision greatly.  In addition to peer pressure, children at this age have generally come in contact with many different sets of values.  Each teacher in school has his/her own set of rules and values.  Parents have a set of rules and values.  If the child comes from a broken home, the rules and values of step-parents have also probably differed.  The children have to deal with the values and rules of grandparents from both the real parents and the step parents.  Is it any wonder that children become confused?  This is especially true considering the fact that most children have not attended church to learn the real values taught there.

         Hormonal changes at this point in life have a great effect on the child.  Studies show that the cerebellum, the back part of the brain, is actually larger in puberty in proportion to the cerebrum, the front part of the brain.  This causes the teen to act on impulse rather than thinking things through.  It isn’t until about age 20 that the two parts of the brain come to correct proportion.  Rapid growth accompanies the hormonal changes and causes a child to be awkward. One week, when a child reached for a glass of water, the arm was at one length. Soon after, the arm is longer and the brain hasn’t adjusted to the new length, and the child may turn the glass over and spill the water.  On top of all of this, horror of horrors, pimples start appearing on the face!

         While all of these things are happening, children can be very cruel to each other.  Bullying is terrible, but it does exist.  We can’t guard every word that comes from the mouth of someone, but, thankfully, efforts are being made in many schools to stop bullying.

         Is it any wonder that teens are looking for a way out of all of this?  It is too bad that they don’t understand that suicide is not the answer.  We need to remind teens that all that is happening is temporary, and if they can hold on, things will get better. 

         The very best thing parents can do is to get their children in a good church that teaches the love of Christ.  If they understand this principle, they will always feel loved.  As they are taught that God has a plan for each life, they experience hope that is so desperately needed.  It is difficult to understand why more parents don’t get their children in church.  It costs no money.  Additional people are concerned for the child’s welfare.  Many activities are provided that are wholesome activities.  I could go on and on about the positive values of church and can think of no negative things.  Let’s do what is best for our children and put our personal likes and dislikes aside.

Questions Stimulate Thinking

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…..

Questions Stimulate Thinking

       Telling is not teaching.  Many people seem to feel that if they have told a child something, the child has learned it.  Not true!  When a child is told something, or for that matter when any of us are told something, our first response may be, “Well, maybe that is true and maybe it is not true”.  There may even be resistance to being told something especially if there is even a hint of animosity toward the one doing the telling.

         A much better way to get ideas across is to ask questions.  Any time someone is asked a question, thought processes are required for the person to answer.  The person being asked must weigh in his/her own mind the pros and cons of the point being addressed.  This requires the consideration of many facets of a topic and eventually the person comes up with a conclusion on his/her own.  It is only when we genuinely believe something that we act upon it.  The belief has to become a part of us before it truly affects behavior.  Otherwise, a child being told something may act on it temporarily out of fear or respect for parents or those doing the telling.  When they later are no longer under the control of that person, they may not continue the required behavior. When children become teenagers, if they have already concluded certain things, they will not stop acting accordingly.  Those teenagers who have simply been told to act a certain way and have not come to the conclusion on their own, may completely throw away those principles.

         How do we go about asking questions or what kind of questions do we ask?

         Children need to be asked many “why” questions.  Very young children need to be asked simple questions such as “Why do we wear a coat on cold days?”  Their answers may include things such as to keep from feeling cold, to keep from being sick, to do what others are doing, etc.  Other follow-up questions might be: “What happens to us if we don’t wear coats when it is cold?” “Remember when you were sick last year? Did you forget to wear your coat before that and you got really cold? “With these questions, the child begins to see the connection between keeping warm and getting sick.  If he/she has come to that conclusion, in the future the child is more likely to wear a coat without being told.

         In elementary school, questions need to be asked such as, “What happens to people when they use illegal drugs?  Do they affect the mind?  Why do you think those drugs are illegal?  Do many people end up in prison because of drug usage?  What is happening in places where many people use drugs? Is there more crime in those areas? As children ponder these questions, they begin to conclude that it is going to be harmful to them to use drugs.

         Other questions that can be used over and over are: “Why did you do what you did? How do you think that would make you feel? How do you think the other person feels?” The more probing the questions, the more thinking there is involved.

         True learning has not taken place until a person acts out automatically the principle being taught.  Until that happens, we need to keep teaching that principle.

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristiansauthor.com

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

Train up a child…

The Importance of Regular School Attendance

         I remember an occasion when we first moved back to the Ozarks that my husband and I decided to go to Aurora to see my brother-in-law.  Since I was raised in the Ozarks and had gone to Branson from Aurora many times, I thought it would be no problem to go to Aurora from Branson. The years away had caused me to forget some very important turns and we found ourselves going around in circles and zig-zagging back and forth.  I thought we would never get to Aurora!

         When children miss a lot of school, their learning takes a similar pattern.  They go to school one day, learn some things, miss school the next day, and forget some things.  Then, when they go back to school, they have to first go back and review or relearn what they learned two days before, try to catch up on what they missed the day they were absent, and at the same time do a full day’s work for that day.  Their learning takes a zigzag pattern.  We all know that we get someplace faster when we can go in a straight line than when we zigzag back and forth. This is why it is so important that children not miss school.

         Actually, children never completely catch up on what they missed while absent.  It is amazing how much a child can learn in one day.  This is especially true of first grade.  Children move so rapidly in first grade and it is a foundation for the years to come.  I’ve always had a special place in my mind and heart for first-grade teachers.  They really have to be on top of things.  First grade is where the children learn the sounds that the letters of the alphabet make.  If they miss school much, it will affect their reading.  Also, basic concepts of numbers are taught in first grade. Unfortunately, in the past this was the time that children came in contact with most of the childhood diseases and had to miss a lot of school.  Now, due to immunizations, many of these sicknesses have been eliminated. 

         Children should, of course, stay home if they are sick; however, parents should do all possible to keep their children healthy.  Good nutrition, cleanliness, and plenty of rest are very important.  Just as a car must have good gas to run, children should have wholesome food.  Their bodies don’t do well on a diet of pop tarts or sugar cereal.  Their little hands touch so many germs each day! Washing hands often helps keep the germs out of the system.  A good bath each night takes those germs off, so they are less likely to find their way inside the body.  They need to have a regular bedtime.  At bedtime, mom or dad needs to tuck them in, perhaps tell or read a Bible story, and hear their prayers.  At this time, mom or dad can give the child a big hug and say a few words of reassurance to put the child in the right frame of mind to face the next day.  

         We don’t get “do-overs” with our children.  As this school year begins, let’s vow to do all we can to keep the children in good shape for school, keeping in mind that every day in school is an important day for learning.

Heredity, Environment, and Choices

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

 Heredity, Environment, and Choices

         When a little baby makes its first appearance into the world, we all look at it with awe as we realize it to be a miracle from God and wonder what lies ahead for it.  Will the child be president some day?  Will the little girl be Miss America?  Maybe someday this child will discover a cure for cancer!  We go on and on speculating about the child’s future.

         As the child grows, we become more realistic in our expectations.  We begin to realize that what happens in the child’s future greatly depends on us.  We also see characteristics of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or even an aunt, uncle, or cousin.  In addition, we become frustrated when the child decides not to listen to our advice and defy what we so diligently have tried to teach.

         As nurturers, we can only affect the environment of the child.  We can make sure the child gets good food, a good education, and associates with people who may give a positive influence.  We can see that the child has good experiences to increase vocabulary and understanding of the surrounding world.  We can see that the child has clothing and a satisfactory place to live.  We can take the child to church and give the child a spiritual foundation. We can make sure that the school is doing a good job in developing the child mentally.  We can make sure that he/she gets involved in sports or does physical activity.  We work very hard at these tasks.

         It is left to our Creator to determine the characteristics of a person.  God’s design is that both the father and mother contribute genes to a child to determine the child’s tendencies upon arrival into the world.  Sometimes the child may be a “throwback” to previous generations, surprising the parents and making them wonder, “Where did that action come from?” We are left to work with what we get and raising any child is always a real challenge.  Any parent of two or more children can attest to the fact that there are no two children alike.  

         It can be very disappointing when a child grows up and seemingly wastes the talents inherited and the many efforts of parents who have nurtured tirelessly to help that child succeed in life.  On the other hand, it can be very rewarding when the child chooses to use inherited talents, abilities, and valuable advice received. Ultimately, it is always the choice of any individual as to whether inherited talents and abilities are used and advice is followed.  

         We can never be completely certain of the end product of our children.  We can only do our very best to raise children to influence them to make good choices and to have the tools to use once those choices are made.  After all, God did not make us as puppets.  He could have designed us so that He would make our choices, but He chose not to do that.  He designed us so that the only thing He cannot do is to choose for us.  In the end, each of us is accountable for self. Our actions are not justified by what our parents did or didn’t do, and it is the same with the children we are raising now.

Children Need Rules to Live By

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children Need Rules to Live By

Train up a child….

Children Need Rules to Live By

         Children who have no rules to live by are like ships without anchors.  They are insecure and restless.  They are not successful in life and always seem to be seeking satisfaction and never finding it.  They are not happy children and do not make happy adults.  There is no certainty in their actions and they are somewhat like a ship without a steering mechanism and seem to be tossed here and there. Parents, teachers, grandparents, and others are doing children no favors by letting them get by without obeying rules.  

         Rules must be appropriate and fair.  There are rules that are non-negotiable, rules that are negotiable, and rules that are self-imposed.  

         Non-negotiable rules need to be instilled in children early, so they can be taught at a very young age that certain ways of behaving are not open for discussion or debate.  Parents must determine these rules.  In our house one of those rules was that children were never to hit a parent as many babies are inclined to do when they don’t get their way.  Even at that young age, a parent can hold a child’s hand and firmly say, “Do not do that!” Of course, a baby will continue to try to have its way, but repeated and consistent rebukes will eventually stop the baby from trying. In addition to not hitting or sassing parents, our children grew up knowing that the family attended church regularly and that was just something we did and it was not open for debate. Other non-negotiable rules should include: not stealing, always telling the truth, not tearing up things, using proper manners at the table when eating, being polite to other people. Each set of parents will have its own set of rules. Parents can simply tell children, “There are certain things we do and certain things we do not do at our house.”  It is necessary to follow up with consistency and not allow misbehavior to go unnoticed even once according to the rules that are set.

         After the “absolutely must” rules are in place, other rules need to be made for the day-by-day activities. It is much easier for children to obey this type of rule when they have had a part in crafting it. Ideally, adults and children express problems and discuss ways to correct the problems.  The rules are written down and placed in a prominent place for reference.  If the rules deal with chores, a chart can be made for children to check off the chores as they are completed.  

         Many parents feel that they don’t have time to have a meeting and discussion with the children.  Actually, in the long run a family meeting saves a great deal of time as well as frustration. It becomes unnecessary for the parents to keep reminding the children if the rules are written down and the chart has been checked.  Whenever the parent glances at the chart, he/she can simply say, “Johnny, I see that you haven’t done your chore.  When do you plan to do it?”  Allowances can be withheld if chores are not completed or rules are not followed.  

         Patterns set in the home for rules are carried over in the personality of the child, and that child becomes a person who imposes rules on self.  Children, who are accustomed to rules, understand that rules are important and they make their own rules for getting homework done or managing their relationships.  Our granddaughter once told me, “You know, Nana, I always do the hard stuff first to get it out of the way and then I don’t mind doing the easy stuff.”  This was a self-imposed rule that worked for her.  As children do each task, they do what is called “self talk”.  This “self talk” often includes self-made rules that they follow.  

         Knowing to follow the rules eliminates the uncertainty of what to do. Children who know and follow rules don’t have to wonder if they have done the right thing.  They know that they have done the right thing, and the fact that they have acted correctly helps in building self-esteem. There is an inner peace and assurance of rightness.  Not only does the child feel good about him/herself, that child will probably receive many compliments from adults and children alike, and that adds to self-esteem as well. When parents are fair and rules are fair, children learn to live by the rules in society.  I have never seen a child who seemed really happy who didn’t know how to follow rules.

Sometimes Dads “Got No Respect”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of : Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)

Sometimes Dads “Got No Respect”

Train up a child…

       It is too bad that sometimes dad does not have the respect he should have in his family.  I’m sure he feels like Rodney Dangerfield at times when he would say, “I got no respect!”  No matter what kind of dad he is, dad deserves a certain amount of respect simply because he is dad.  However, there are many things he can do to make respecting him easier for all with whom he comes in contact.  Following is a list of suggestions:

  • Dad, say what you mean and mean what you say.  When you tell a child to do something and then don’t follow through to see that it is done, the child thinks you will forget it the next time and he/she can get by without obeying.
  • Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep.  Learn to say, “I will try to do ______” instead of “I will do ______”.
  • Show respect to the children and their mom.  You will get respect in return.
  • Be kind and gentle to mom.  The kids are watching how you treat her.  If you mistreat her, they think they can mistreat her also.  They love their mom and will resent anyone hurting her.  They will respect you for being patient with her and treating her nicely.
  • Speak kindly of neighbors and acquaintances.  
  • Honor your debts.  Pay bills quickly and try not to be indebted to others.
  • Discipline the children out of love and concern, not anger.  They know the difference.  When you discipline with anger, it is because you are thinking of how you have been inconvenienced, not what is best for the child.
  • Spend time with the children and take interest in their activities at school and church.
  • Be quick to say “I’m sorry” when you have done wrong. False pride causes us to think we will be disrespected if we admit weakness, but actually the opposite is true.  
  • Be honest in all business dealings.  The kids are watching.
  • “Take the bull by the horns” and be the spiritual head of your household.  Make sure the family goes to church.
  • Remember birthdays.  Do whatever it takes to help you remember even if it means putting notes on the bathroom mirror.
  • Practice what you preach.  “Do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work.

         How often do we hear, “Kids show no respect anymore”?  One of the reasons some children do not respect parents and other adults is that we do not do the things necessary to earn that respect.  We can each improve in this area.

“Jesus Lives at Nana’s House”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come: Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a Child…

“Jesus Lives at Nana’s House”

 Our 2 ½ yr. old grandson was asked, “Garrett, where is Jesus?”  He thought for a moment and then replied, “Jesus lives at Nana’s house!”  

         I wondered why Garrett would say what he said, and I started thinking about what a 2 ½ yr. old would or could know about Jesus and why he responded as he did.  His folks do not take him to Sunday School or church.  I have sung “Jesus Loves Me”, “Jesus Loves the Little Children”, “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam”, and other songs about Jesus as I rocked him, read to him, then sang and prayed with him at bedtime. Although I seldom get to see him since he lives in Iowa and my husband and I live in Missouri, undoubtedly. he had learned that there was someone named Jesus through the limited effort I had made.  

         Sometimes we mistakenly think that there is nothing we can do to influence our grandchildren. Contrary to this notion, I believe grandparents have a very important role to play in influencing those little ones around us.  It is never too early to start.  Even a tiny baby can be influenced by music and words.  As a child hears an adult say, “Please bless Mommy & Daddy, Nana & Grandpa, and everyone in the whole wide world”, he becomes aware of the needs of others.  

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The above was written when our grandson was a baby.  Now, he is enrolled in college and will begin his journey toward a degree in geology next fall.  (I still have a “pet rock” in my car that I carry around wherever I go, that he gave me when he was a toddler.)  He lives far from me but to my knowledge, he still doesn’t attend church.  Although it bothers me to think of him not attending church, it gives me some satisfaction to know that he has heard of Jesus and has learned good manners.

Grandparents, we should never underestimate the influence we can have on our grandchildren.  We need to continually pray for them and do whatever we can to help them learn about our Lord.  Grandparents hold a special place in the heart of most children, and we should never underestimate the amount of influence we can have on them.  We should not, however, continually brag on them while they are listening.  After all, if they keep hearing us say how wonderful they are, where is the incentive to improve?

Let me repeat, let’s not forget the influence we can have on our grandchildren! It is an opportunity we cannot afford to pass up!

                                                               Pat Lamb (Nana)

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

         It’s hard to believe that so much of the summer vacation from school has already passed! There were so many plans!  Have they all been met? It is a good idea now to review the plans that were made at the beginning of summer and see what has been accomplished and what needs to be emphasized in the time remaining before the children go back to school.

         Remember all those plans for the kids for summer vacation?  I’m guessing that there were plans to teach them how to be good homemakers.  There were plans to give them experiences that would be good for them, and there were plans to have fun together as a family. There is some time left to try to make up for those things that have not yet been accomplished. 

         During the time left, children can try their hands in the kitchen following recipes and preparing food for the family.  The product doesn’t have to be perfect.  Praise the children for good effort.  Select easy recipes so they can feel a sense of accomplishment. There are many recipes suitable for children.  

         It is almost always a good idea to choose chores simple enough to allow the children to feel successful.  Feeling successful motivates children to try again.  When a child feels failure, that child avoids doing that task another time for fear of failing again. Do not jump in and do the chore for the children no matter how tempting it may be.  Children learn from mistakes. Chores should include cleaning and making minor repairs.  How are they doing with helping in the yard?  Now is the time to make sure all has been covered that the children are able to accomplish. Once the children are back in school, there will be limited time to teach things necessary for children to grow up and have good homes of their own.

         Have the children had good experiences this summer that include visiting historic monuments or national parks?  Have they taken part in new activities that expand their understanding of others? There is still time to go on trips as a family.  There are many interesting places in our area.  We live in a beautiful place in this country.  Helping children appreciate that beauty will go a long way in creating a good attitude.

         Has the family simply had lots of fun together?  If not, make sure the summer does not end without doing so.  Whether it is playing games together, working together, or traveling together, fun times create special memories.  Good “belly laughs” are remembered for a long time.  Fun times create memories that act as glue for a family to stick together.

         Don’t come to the end of the summer and have to say, “Where did the time go?”  Use the time now to work and play with children. They will be gone from home before you know it!

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child..

Summer Vacation Checkpoint

         It’s hard to believe that so much of the summer vacation from school has already passed! There were so many plans!  Have they all been met? It is a good idea now to review the plans that were made at the beginning of summer and see what has been accomplished and what needs to be emphasized in the time remaining before the children go back to school.

         Remember all those plans for the kids for summer vacation?  I’m guessing that there were plans to teach them how to be good homemakers.  There were plans to give them experiences that would be good for them, and there were plans to have fun together as a family. There is some time left to try to make up for those things that have not yet been accomplished. 

         During the time left, children can try their hand in the kitchen following recipes and preparing food for the family.  The product doesn’t have to be perfect.  Praise the children for good effort.  Select easy recipes so they can feel a sense of accomplishment. There are many recipes suitable for children.  

         It is almost always a good idea to choose chores simple enough to allow the children to feel successful.  Feeling successful motivates children to try again.  When a child feels failure, that child avoids doing that task another time for fear of failing again. Do not jump in and do the chore for the children no matter how tempting it may be.  Children learn from mistakes. Chores should include cleaning and making minor repairs.  How are they doing with helping in the yard?  Now is the time to make sure all has been covered that the children are able to accomplish. Once the children are back in school, there will be limited time to teach things necessary for children to grow up and have good homes of their own.

         Have the children had good experiences this summer that include visiting historic monuments or national parks?  Have they taken part in new activities that expand their understanding of others? There is still time to go on trips as a family.  There are many interesting places in our area.  We live in a beautiful place in this country.  Helping children appreciate that beauty will go a long way in creating a good attitude.

         Has the family simply had lots of fun together?  If not, make sure the summer does not end without doing so.  Whether it is playing games together, working together, or traveling together, fun times create special memories.  Good “belly laughs” are remembered for a long time.  Fun times create memories that act as glue for a family to stick together.

         Don’t come to the end of the summer and have to say, “Where did the time go?”  Use the time now to work and play with children. They will be gone from home before you know it!

Word Power

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising Children…

Word Power

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be acceptable in Your sight,

O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. 

Psalm 19:14 (NKJV)

Have you ever heard very young children use ugly words while playing or talking to others?  I have and it is not pretty. Where did they get such a vocabulary?  In all likelihood, they picked it up from family at home or classmates at school.  There was a time when we did not hear so much of such talk.  Now, it seems, that even news on TV often contains much bad language.  The Bible tells us not to use the Lord’s name in vain, yet many people do just that! At times, it seems, that there is nothing sacred any more!  Why is this the case?

God’s preferences do not change.  It seems that people who use foul language often let it overflow into their thoughts and come flying out of the mouth.  This is not pleasing to God!  We need to control our tongue and use acceptable language, especially in front of children.

There is a song that I used to sing to my children.  It has several verses.  One of the verses says:  “Be careful little mouth what you say, Be careful little mouth what you say.  There’s a Father up above, looking down on you with love, so be careful little mouth what you say.”  It has other verses about being careful what we hear and see. Additional verses say be careful little hands what you do, and be careful little feet where you go.  It is easy to make up tunes to go with the words.  We are trying to get the ideas across and whatever tune we come up with will work. This song helps children be aware that they are in control of their actions and words.

It is also good to use questions when talking to children.  Telling is not teaching.  When we tell a child something, as my mom used to say, “It goes in one ear and out the other!”  However, when we ask questions, it requires a child to think in order to come up with an answer.  What are some questions we can ask children?  One question might be, “How would you feel if someone said that about you?”  Another question might be, “Can you think of a nicer way to say what you are trying to say?”  Another might be, “Do you enjoy having people talk to you the way you are talking to others? 

Another way to help children with words is simply singing as you work.  To this day, I can remember my dad singing in the fields such songs as, “You Can’t Do Wrong and Get By” and “Farther Along”.  He sang many other songs that have stuck with  me as well.  

We should never underestimate the power of the words our children hear us say.  As we work around them, we can sing good songs with acceptable meaning to God.  Also, we can eliminate those ugly words parents are often tempted to use!