Tag Archives: mental health of children

Who Said that Parenting is Easy?

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Who said that Parenting is Easy?

         Someone recently told me that they had overheard some young girls say that they couldn’t wait until they were old enough to have a baby and drop out of school.  How little they know about what parenting involves! There are those who think that having a baby is like having a doll.  They don’t realize that the “live doll” will have many needs that must be fulfilled and that the “live doll” will not always be a pleasure.

         Being a parent takes physical, spiritual, social, and mental strength. From the time a baby is born until parents can no longer function, parents muster up the strength to help their children.

         A baby requires much physical energy from parents.  Who has not seen a mom or dad with circles under the eyes from being up at night with a child.  The hunger pangs of a baby do not know how to tell time.  As the baby cries, mom or dad may be waiting impatiently for a bottle to warm.  There are diapers to be changed, food to be prepared, laundry to be done, house to be cleaned, and other members of the family to be cared for. Parents may need to stand over a bed in the middle of the night where a fever-ridden child is lying and looking up to mommy or daddy to do something. I can remember sitting by our children during the night and rubbing legs as growing pains were occurring.  

         When a child starts to school, mom and dad are challenged to use social skills to help the child make the right friends. Parents must get along with other parents as well as the child’s teachers.  There is still a great deal of physical energy required, but at least mom and dad get to sleep through the night most of the time. Mental abilities are challenged as parents help children with homework that often involves new methods of doing things.

         As the child progresses into the tweens and teens, mom and dad discover that the sweet little baby that they thought would be perfect is not so perfect.  Now, as never before, parents must rely on their spiritual strength to work with the child.  Disappointments seem to come all too quickly as parents discover that the child does not think exactly as the parents do about certain things. “Who is this child?” they often wonder.  “Is this the same sweet baby we fed and diapered in the middle of the night?”

         When the child becomes an adult, parents are still parenting often from afar.  We can’t “boss” anymore.  We simply make suggestions for consideration.  Even though we have “been there and done that”, our adult children may need to discover the truth for themselves.

         Yes, parenting is not easy.  I think of the old pioneer parents who often buried several children at one time after the children had suffered with smallpox or another deadly disease. I’m sure that many must have wondered, “Is it worth it?” 

Parenting does, in spite of its many challenges, have many rewards.  As I watched our children step up and take responsibility at the death of our second son, I was comforted to see them in action.  I overheard our daughter say, “My two children are the best thing that ever happened to me!” It definitely is worth all the heartaches and effort involved when we see that our children have become responsible citizens who truly love their mom and dad, each other, and their families.

An Easy Way to Learn

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchrisitianauthor.com

An Easy Way to Learn

Train up a child…

         I well remember my dad telling my sisters and me, “If you won’t listen, you’ll have to learn the hard way!”

         Listening to the descriptions of the experiences of those who have lived in the past is an easy way to learn.  As Memorial Day approaches, we have an opportunity to describe the experiences of those who have gone before us to help our children learn.

         What can children learn by listening to descriptions of the past?  They can learn of some things people did that worked well, some things people did that did not work well, and they can gain some inspiration to make their own lives count.

         Memorial Day is certainly a time to remember veterans who have fought for our freedom, but it is also a time to remember our relatives of the past who made significant accomplishments.  It would be well for parents to find specific stories to read or tell to children both about veterans and their own relatives.  Stories about veterans help children appreciate the freedom they enjoy.  Stories of past relatives provide roots and a feeling of self worth.  Good stories of past relatives instill a sense of pride and motivate a child to want to “measure up” to family history.

         It is a good idea to take children to a cemetery on Memorial Day and reverently walk through and observe some of the tombstones. There will undoubtedly be a few graves of people who died at a very young age.  A discussion of how some of the people may have died could include a discussion of the use of drugs and alcohol.  This lesson is far more effective than any lecture in a classroom.  The children can see for themselves that the use of drugs and alcohol is definitely something that did not work well for these individuals.  It would be well for parents to point out specific cases with which they are familiar of instances where results were not good.  For example, some of the young people may have died from car accidents where they were driving too fast.  

         One goal in raising children should be to help children decide in their own minds what is best.  Telling is not teaching.  In fact, if we lecture children, they often rebel.  We want them to settle in their own minds what is right.  If they can make these decisions when they are young, when the challenging teen years come, they have already decided and do not have to doubt.  The visual image of a tombstone in the mind of a young person might well stay until the teen years and be present when that first driver’s license is issued or when temptations to use drugs or alcohol comes.  

         Children don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” if they will listen to stories of the past and base their decisions on those things that have already been tried and failed, or those things which have been tried and succeeded.  It is easier to learn by listening and seeing than to have to try everything for oneself.    

Children are People, Too!

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

“Children Are People, Too”

         When our youngest child was in kindergarten, his teacher posted on the door of his classroom, “Children are people, too”.  At first, I wondered what she was talking about.  Of course, children are people, too.  Then I started thinking about times when I had talked with other adults and left my children standing quietly without joining in the conversation.  I began to notice other adults and how so often they would talk and forget about the children listening to everything they would say.  Sometimes, parents would talk about their children while the children were standing right in front of them.  It was almost as though they thought the children were deaf and did not hear their comments.  I remember a time when my husband and I had done this very thing.

         When our youngest son was still small enough to sit on the armrest between my husband and me, (car seats for children were not required then), my husband and I were driving somewhere and having a conversation about a person we thought was doing something wrong. Our son was sitting quietly between us.  Our other children were in school.  We were driving along, expressing one opinion after another, when our son suddenly spoke up and said, “Don’t forget, Mom, God hears everything you say!”  I was stunned.  My husband and I were not only reminded of what we had been teaching him, but we were also reminded that children hear everything we say in their presence.

         When I was very young, my mom would make dresses of printed chicken-feed sacks for my sisters and me.  She would starch and iron them and dress us up with ribbons in our hair.  Every Saturday afternoon, she would load up her crate of eggs, and we would go to Monett, MO to sell them.  Part of this ritual was a trip to the J.C. Penney store.  On one such occasion, one of my mom’s acquaintances came up to her and started talking.  The lady looked down at my sisters and me and said, “Ethel, you have such pretty girls.  I don’t know how you do it.  They always look so nice!  Every one of them is so pretty!”  My four sisters and I stood there in our starched and ironed feed sack dresses feeling so very proud.  As the lady said her goodbyes and started to leave, she looked down at me and said, “Now, Ethel, is this one yours, too?  She doesn’t look like the rest of them!”True, my hair was blonde; theirs was dark brown. Their hair was curly; mine was very straight. I felt so ugly!  I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling!

         When children are around, let’s include them in our conversations.  They learn to converse as we treat them with respect and talk to them as equals.  At church, shake hands with the children as though they are just as important as adults, because they are.  Let’s be careful about the comments we make in the presence of children.  Let’s remember, “Children are people, too.”

Some Things Never Change

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child….

Some Things Never Change

There are those who say, “Things have never been this bad in our country before!”  I beg to differ.  We read in history about the Civil War, slavery, the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and more.  Also, if we read the Old Testament, we read about babies being sacrificed by being thrown into the fire and many more terrible things.  We don’t like to think about such things, but truth is truth.  There have always been those who are evil and those who have fought for what is right.

What about now?  We have many things happening in our country that go against what many consider to be right.  The answer is the same.  The Bible never changes and neither do its principles.  How does this affect the raising of children?

We need to teach the Bible to children.  As I ponder what to write about raising children, I am convinced more and more that the answers are in the Bible.  Just because society may bring new challenges, we don’t need to change our way of raising children.  Yes, we may need to watch them more closely.  We may need to emphasize the Bible more to them.  We may need to hug them a little tighter.  We may need to make a greater effort to get them in church, but God’s principles never change.  The answer is still the same.

The Bible is based on love.  In fact, we are told that “Love never fails” in I Corinthians 13.  Love, however, is not self-satisfaction.  It goes much deeper.  It means giving up one’s own wants for the benefit of another.  Like, on the other hand, are the things that give us pleasure.  The Bible doesn’t tell us that we have to “like” what others do.  It does, however, tell us that we are to “love” everyone.  

If we can teach our children the difference between “love” and “like”, we have gone a long way in helping them navigate the world in which we live.  The Bible makes the difference very clear.  There are many times when we need to forget what we “like” and concentrate on loving our children and others.    

Building a Spiritual Foundation in Children

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Building a Spiritual Foundation in Children

         Childhood is a foundation for life.  That foundation needs to be established in four areas. These areas are social, mental, physical, and spiritual.  How these four areas are developed in childhood influences the successful adjustment to adulthood.

         The spiritual development of children is often neglected.  Much emphasis is placed on a good education (mental), making friends (social), and health and wellness of children (physical), but when it comes to the spiritual side of a child, parents often feel inadequate to work in this area or for some other reason, simply don’t. Yet, it is this part of a human being that permeates all other parts and gives motivation and a set of values for functioning.

         Every person is born with an instinct to worship something.  As a small child notices the many things created, questions begin to arise.  “Where did I come from?” is a natural curiosity.  “Who made the trees, flowers, and other things around me?” is also a natural question.  If a child is not given guidance in what to believe, s/he may end up in a cult or simply drift through life with little or no purpose, searching for meaning to life.  That person will always be trying to fill a void that may never be satisfied despite many attempts.  “If we don’t stand for something, we will fall for anything,” is a saying I once heard.  This seems to play out in many lives of individuals who have not had a spiritual foundation as children.

         Some parents will say, “I will let my children decide for themselves about what they believe.”  How can they decide if they have no knowledge?  We don’t let children decide about whether to go to school.  We don’t let them eat only candy all the time.  We try to make sure they choose the right friends.  They need help in deciding what to believe.

         In my opinion, there are certain basic things that should be done to help develop a spiritual foundation in children.  First, they should go to church and learn about the Bible.  There are basic things about the Bible every child should learn.  Children need to learn about the crucifixion and the meaning of the cross.  In connection with this, children need to learn John 3:16.  The Ten Commandments and The Lord’s Prayer should be memorized by every child.  Children need to learn that God is love but that he is also a just God and that we don’t get by with wrong.  Even though God will forgive us of wrongdoing if we are sorry and ask Him to do so, there are still natural consequences of sin.  They need to understand that there is a heaven and a hell, and that God sees them everywhere they are.  There is no hiding from God.  (This understanding is especially helpful when children get to the point of wanting to do something without parents knowing about it.) The more Scripture children can memorize, the better it is.   These Scripture verses will come back to them as they make decisions.  Purpose in life is obtained when children learn that God has a plan for each person.  

When my oldest sister was in her last days, at one point I stood beside her bed in St. John’s Hospital in Springfield.  She and I were holding hands, and she looked at me and said, “My biggest regret is that I didn’t get Gary and Steve (her sons) in Sunday school and church when they were little”.  We need to constantly work on the spiritual development of children just as we work on the development in other areas. When they hear about Christ arising from the grave, they take hold of a deeper meaning to life than simply pleasing mom and dad, the teacher, and friends.  No other religious leader has come back from death.  Knowing this fact will help a person decide to live for Christ.  

The Value of Homework

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

The Value of Homework

         Homework is a good thing.  No matter how much children moan and groan about it, there is no doubt that it is good for them.  Of course it is important to have the right amount of assignments.  It is not good to overload students, but if the right amount of homework is given, there are many benefits derived for the student.

         Homework is necessary to give practice of skills taught in school. Teachers do not have enough time to give adequate practice.  More and more topics are added for teachers to teach, yet nothing is ever subtracted and no additional time is allowed. Homework is good to help the students develop proper habits of study and self-discipline.  As parents either assist or observe their children doing homework, they come to a better understanding of the learning ability and achievement levels the children possess.

         There was a time in education that educators thought that if a child simply understood subject matter, practice was not necessary.  I remember having a math textbook when I taught second grade that required the children to complete as few as six problems each day after the concept was taught. I knew that the children needed more, so I kept extra math papers available all the time for the children to choose and work as their time permitted.  Math, reading, and writing are skills.  All skills require practice because they involve more than understanding.  They involve the use of nerves and muscles.  Just because a person can read and understand music, for instance, doesn’t mean that the person can play the piano or any other instrument.  It is the same with the skills of reading, math, and writing. Practice is necessary to become proficient in each.

         Some children do well in early grades and don’t do homework, then find out later that some subjects, such as algebra, require constant homework. Unfortunately, since they didn’t do homework early on, they haven’t really learned good study habits and self-discipline to buckle down and do what they need to do.  It is important to have a set time, even in the lower grades, to make homework a habit.  If homework is not assigned, the parents need to come up with things the children can do to add to what they are learning in school.  For instance, if the children are learning about conservation, they might require them to look at or read something from the Missouri Conservation magazine.  They can check the library for more information or take a walk with dad to see examples of good and bad conservation.

Some may think that their children don’t need to do any homework since they finish quickly at school.  We should never let our children think that they are smarter than others and that they don’t need to learn more than they already know.  There is always plenty more to be learned about every subject.  Parents are teachers, too, and parents need to help children develop a curiosity for learning by making suggestions or finding projects for the children to do to enrich what they have already learned.

We learn a great deal about our children as they do homework. Perhaps we learn even more than any report card can show. We can assess how the child reasons, the interests of the child, and become closer to the child.  Homework can be a wonderful together time and learning time for both parents and children.

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Some Children Prefer Physical Activity

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Some Children Prefer Physical Activity

         Some children are “body smart”.  Experts tell us that we are all born with dominance in three or four of the seven intelligences.  The seven intelligences are:  verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, visual/spatial, body/kinesthetic, musical/rhythmic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Other names for these intelligences are:  word smart, numbers smart, picture smart, body smart, people smart, and self smart.

         The dominance in “body smart” is displayed when children prefer physical activity over sedentary activity.  These children really go for sports or any physical activity such as dancing.  They often find it difficult to sit still for long lengths of time.  In adulthood, someone may say, “I couldn’t talk if my hands were tied behind my back!”  The movement of hands while talking is a clue to recognizing this intelligence.  This intelligence involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind and body union.  

         The teacher or parent would be wise to keep these children moving as much as possible.  They can act out stories, participate in drama, or be given opportunities to participate in sports or make display projects.  They like to work with their hands, and they should be given breaks often if they have to sit for very long.  Younger children could learn the alphabet by forming the letters in play-doh. “Body smart” children like water play and painting.  They like demonstrations to mimic rather than simply listening to instructions.  Physical games of all kinds appeal to these children.  Swimming is an excellent activity as it provides a real positive outlet for physical energy. 

         Other possible teaching activities for the bodily/kinesthetic child include acting out scenes from the past in charades to learn history, standing and turning 45, 180, or 360 degrees to learn the degrees in a circle, or making a healthy snack food and eating it to learn nutrition.  The possibilities are almost endless. 

         Children who are dominant in the “body smart” intelligence may grow up to be surgeons, physical education teachers, physical therapists, mechanics, actors, factory workers, nurses, house cleaners, or any career involving physical activity.

         The physically active child may seem to be a challenge to tired parents or teachers. I wonder if some of the children who have been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder may simply be children who are “body smart”.  Whether or not this is the case, these children need constant physical activity. With understanding and planning, the “body smart” children can be real assets. When the parent or teacher is tired, the active child probably wants to keep going.  We can have the child run errands and do some of the things we may not have the energy to do.  We simply need to keep something going for this child because if we don’t, the child will find something on his/her own.  I remember reading someplace, “Confucius say, ‘A child with something to do, him busy.  A child with nothing to do, him busy, too!’”

Growing up in a Confused World

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising Children…

Growing up in a Confused World

“Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” Psalm 119:105

Few would dispute the fact that our world is becoming more confusing.  Young children may question, “Am I a boy/girl, or am I a boy/girl who looks like a boy/girl?”  While shopping, where do I go to use the bathroom when there may be new choices?  What are the Ten Commandments?  Do those Ten Commandments just apply sometimes, or are they no longer applicable at all?  Is our country’s constitution outdated?  Who has the right answers?

In Genesis 5:2 we read, “Male and female created he them, and blessed them…”.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  He created us the way we are for the purpose He had in mind.  When we start going against God, we are putting ourselves above Him.  We are not smarter than God!  

If children do not know anything about the Scriptures, they cannot even know that God created us.  We desperately need to teach children Scripture!

The examples being set by adults do not give proper answers to the questions of children.  Adults are not keeping the Sabbath holy.   Many adults are not honoring their fathers and mothers, so children do not see that they need to honor theirs.  Most adults are not showing love to God and fellow man, so children have few examples to follow.  Even those in so-called “high places” do name-calling and act rudely.  Adultery is rampant in our society,  The idea of, “If it feels good, do it”, is seemingly the code most now live by.  Even murder is becoming commonplace. There is a movement in our country to do away with our constitution.  “The constitution is a living, breathing document,” some say.  Our constitution was based on unchanging values from the Bible that should never be changed. Children need to be taught to follow God’s rules, not man’s ideas.

Growing up in a confused world creates confused children.  What is the answer to this problem?  The only answer is the Bible.  It is an anchor that holds us steady and upright as the various winds of ideas and doctrines swirl around us.  It has held true throughout the ages and will always be right when everything around us seems to be crashing down.  If children do not know Scripture, they have no anchor.  The only answer for the future of our children is to teach them Scripture.  Scripture memorization, including the Ten Commandments, is vitally important. Our children need to be attending church.  Parents need to be teaching Bible principles at home.  Parents need to know that teachers of their children believe in the Bible.  Homeschooling may be a good option if Godly teachers are not available.  Wisdom needs to be used by parents to shield their children from those things they are not able to handle.

A little boy at his first visit to a Christian summer camp summed it up best when he told his leader, “God is really the only chance we have, isn’t He?”

Some Kids are People Smart

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Some Children are People Smart

       I recently spoke to a group of young mothers and enjoyed hearing them talk about the differences in their children.  Some were saying how hard it is to have two or three children with very different personalities.  I was reminded of the seven intelligences experts have defined.  It is thought that each person is born with preferences in three or four of these intelligences.  They are verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, bodily/kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  They are also known as word smart, numbers smart, body smart, picture smart, music smart, people smart, and self smart.

         In previous columns I have discussed all of the intelligences except the interpersonal and intrapersonal.  In this column, I will give information about the interpersonal intelligence.

         Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.  It involves good communication skills and an ability to note differences in others.  Persons with this intelligence are able to be sensitive to the moods and temperaments of those with whom they come in contact.

         We can recognize this intelligence in children when we see them constantly wanting to be around others.  They seem to thrive off of contact with people and can complete tasks better if not working alone.  Also, these children often can sense weaknesses in adults and can “wiggle” their way out of assigned tasks.  They may like to argue with an adult when they sense that the adult is not really certain of the instructions being given to the child.  They will know when mom or dad is in the right mood to be asked for something. Being sent to their room to be alone is real punishment for children with dominance in this intelligence.

         The person with this intelligence is a social person.  He/she likes to go to parties. The radio or TV must be on almost constantly. Adults with this intelligence like to host others in their home. They can sense motives of their children and others. They simply seem to have an innate ability to know what to do and say to get along with others and are probably “joiners” of clubs or various organizations.  

         Children with this intelligence may grow up to become administrators, teachers, personnel workers, counselors, salespersons, social workers, political leaders, doctors, or religious leaders.

         It needs to be remembered that we can have the intelligences to varying degrees and that not all characteristics fit all people.  However, knowing the general characteristics helps us to better understand our children and those around us.  Just as God made no two snowflakes exactly alike, so he made no two humans exactly alike.  As we attempt to follow His command to “Love one another”, it certainly helps if we can understand those around us.

A Child’s Love Message

by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… (Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Raising Children…

A Child’s Love Message

Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them,and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. 

Matthew 18:2,3 (NKJV)

It’s a big deal to be leader for the day in kindergarten!  When it was Dylan’s turn, he surprised his teacher and asked her if he could have a little boy  help him.  He had noticed that this little boy never got to be leader.  An adult lady was always with him to help him.  The surprised teacher answered, “Why, yes, Dylan.  That would be fine”.  

Dylan took the little boy by the hand and together they took the lunch count to the office.  They led the children to the playground at recess.  They led the children back inside, hand in hand.  Whatever needed to be done, they did together.  At the end of the day, the teacher was not surprised to see them touch each other’s forehead, an action to show that they were friends. You see, this little boy was a “special ed” student who couldn’t talk like other children. 

A mother shared with me that one day on a shopping trip, when she went to lift her little boy from the car seat at the mall, he said, “I luv’ you Mommy”.  While inside the store, he pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed it!

Why did these two examples happen?  Could it be that they have experienced love at home as they have watched the example set by their parents?  As in the second example, could it be that the child has experienced this same kind of love from his mom?  It has been said that children learn what they live.  If they live with love in the home, they will be more apt to show love to others.  

When I taught kindergarten, I had a parent bring her child to school on the first day and say, “I won’t believe anything he says about you if you won’t believe anything he says about me!”  It was meant as a joke, but truthfully, I found it very easy, in many cases,  to  tell what kind of home life the children had.  Not only did they tell you things, but it was easy to see that they patterned their behavior from their home life.  I have heard it said that, “Children learn what they live!”  In many cases this is very true.  

How, then, can we teach our children to love?  Setting an example is probably the most important way.  Bible study at home and church will give them examples of how Jesus demonstrated love.  Conversation overheard by children should always show love and concern.

In the verse cited above, Jesus was teaching us to humble ourselves.  If we pattern ourselves after Jesus, as the children so often pattern their behavior after us, we will set a good example for the children.   


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