Tag Archives: Raising children

Stuffed Animals can be Teaching Tools

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child….

Stuffed Animals Can be Teaching Tools

         Playing with my young grandson and his stuffed animals when he was young reminded me of how much a child can learn from this activity.  As an adult plays with a child, the conversation can be guided in such a way that the child can learn about manners and consideration of the needs and feelings of others.  In addition, the child can develop empathy that can be transferred into real life in interrelationships with people.  Creative skills are enhanced and children learn social skills.

         Most children really enjoy playing “pretend”.  A child and adult may pretend any number of situations using the animals.  My grandson and I pretended that Leo, the Lion, had a birthday and we were giving him a birthday party.  We took the other animals shopping for Leo and talked about what would be appropriate for a lion.  I pointed out that Leo liked to eat meat while some of the other animals, such as the lambs, liked to eat grass.  We talked about how we should choose a gift that would make Leo happy and not pick a gift that would just make us happy.  Each animal knocked politely on the door before entering the home of Leo.  Each animal said “please”, “thank you”, and “excuse me” when appropriate.  Leo mentioned that he would be writing thank-you notes to all who brought a gift. In these actions, my grandson learned about saying “excuse me”, thank you”, and “please”.  He also learned about considering the wants and needs of others instead of self.  The play could have been carried further and play money could have been used to purchase a gift.  In doing so, proper use of money could have been taught.

         On another occasion, I used his stuffed roadrunner and his stuffed dog to tell a story patterned after Aesop’s fable, “The Fox and the Crane”.  This story emphasizes consideration of others.  Letting the roadrunner substitute for the crane and the dog substitute for the fox, I told how the dog invited the roadrunner for dinner and served milk in a flat plate.  The dog liked the flat plate because the dog laps the milk, but the roadrunner could not get the milk with his beak. The roadrunner decided to teach the dog a lesson and invited the dog to dinner at his house.  The roadrunner served milk in a tall, narrow, vessel that he could put his beak in, but the dog couldn’t lap the milk from.  They each realized that they should have considered the needs of the other and apologized.  I briefly mentioned that people have different needs and that we should consider those needs.

         Most children have at least one stuffed animal. There are many opportunities to use other common things around the house to teach children and develop good attitudes.  If we take advantage of these opportunities while the children are young, they grow up with proper feelings toward others and we save them, as well as ourselves, many headaches. My grandson begged me over and over to play with him with his stuffed animals.  I considered it time well spent.  As he enjoyed playing, he learned many important things to help him in later life and stimulated his creative ability at the same time.  He developed conversational skills and learned to think quickly as he responded to my conversation in our pretend games.  

Snow Days can be Pleasant

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a Child…

Snow Days Can Be Pleasant

       Almost every school year we have a few “snow days”.  We may not have any more this year, but it is good to be prepared just in case we do.  Some people seem to really dislike them.  Others keep hoping for a snow day.  Since we know they happen almost every year, it is a good idea to consider how to use them wisely.

         There is no doubt that challenges come with the knowledge that all routines have changed.  Many questions arise.  What do I do to entertain the kids?  What do I feed the kids for lunch?  What do I do about the unfinished chores at my job?  What if the electricity goes off?  How long will this last?  All of these things have to be dealt with while at the same time the children are wondering what to do.

         Children do not have to be, nor should they be, entertained.  Children need to learn to think for themselves.  No child ever died from boredom! Sometimes it is good for a child not to have something going all the time.  Many parents seem to think that raising children is like the story of the carrot and the horse.  They think there should be something in front of a child to look forward to all the time.  When a child says, “I’m bored”, simply say, “What do you plan to do about that?”  Put the responsibility back on the child.  Chances are that anything the parent suggests will not be accepted.  It is best to say, “I hope you find a way to use your time wisely”.  It is good if parents make themselves available to play board games or other games with the children; however, it is best to have the child make the decision whenever possible.

         Allowing the children to become part of the family team to plan for electricity outage or other happenings is good.  Also, storytelling about the time when there was no electricity in homes, or cars to go places, is more meaningful at a time like this.  The children can better understand the time when it was necessary to saddle a horse or hitch up a wagon in order to go someplace.  This helps them understand their history courses in school.  A discussion of how families lived when children were home most of the time, can further develop this understanding.

         Chores are ever present for children to help with.  It is a good time to reorganize a study place and check for overlooked homework.  Good cooking lessons can be learned as children assist with the preparation of lunch.  It is also a good time to simply rest and take things slowly.

         I remember a phone conversation with our daughter when our grandchildren were small.  “Mom”, she said, “they are just a ball!”  She was genuinely enjoying the children.  Both of those children have done well.  It would be nice if we all remembered that children are a gift from God.  Let’s enjoy our gifts!  Snow days give us an opportunity to do just that.

Children Test Our Love

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Test our Love

       If we were to ask every parent, “Do you love your children?” probably almost all of them would say, “Of course, I love my children!”  There is no doubt that most parents really try to love their children all the time.  There is a natural, inborn attachment to our children; however, when it comes to the everyday nitty-gritty, down-to-earth task of raising children, it is not always easy to show that love.

         Every day our love is tested by those to whom we give most of our time and effort. Children test us unknowingly and innocently.  As they go through the natural processes of growing up, their actions and circumstances place a constant demand on us.  We are tested in every characteristic of love.  I Corinthians 13 in the Bible gives us a description of love. It tells us that love is long-suffering, doesn’t put itself up higher than others, isn’t easily provoked, is patient, doesn’t have to have its own way, bears all things, endures all things, and doesn’t lose hope.  Children test us in each of these categories.  

         What patience it takes with the newborn!  Our patience and long-suffering are tested each time a parent gets up at night to feed the child and care for it.  There is actual physical suffering as the sleep-deprived parent stumbles to the baby to comfort it.  It seems so hard!  Just when we think the baby is comforted, it starts crying again, requiring the same action by parents over and over.

         As the baby grows and becomes a toddler, again our patience is tested as we tell the young child “no, no” and the child continues in the forbidden action.  Even our physical stamina is tested as we constantly take little hands away from places they should not be.  At this point, we may become “easily provoked”.  

         Parents “bear all things” as the child continues to grow to school age.  We put up with people who may point out our child’s imperfections.  After all, we’ve invested a lot in the child by now.  When someone shows us a fault, it is often taken as a reflection on our ability to parent the child.  What do we do?  Most of the time there is no choice but to grin and “bear it”.  We must continue to have hope that the child will overcome the flaw.  

         As the child grows into the teen years, we seem to be tested even more than before.  Getting up at night with the newborn or chasing after the toddler seems preferable to dealing with the heartaches that are often experienced by parents of teens.  Here we find that we do not always get our own way and we must endure a great deal. 

         When children finally reach adulthood, our love test is still proceeding.  Choices are made by children that we don’t always agree with, but we love our children in spite of not “having our own way”.  Many times we even have to swallow our pride and admit that the child knew better than we did.

         It is good for parents to do self-evaluations.  Do I have the love that God expects me to have for my children?  Have I been a good example for them to show love to others?  Have I taught them the real meaning of love?  I’m glad that we are not expected to be perfect.  Hopefully, the children have learned enough about love to love me in return in spite of my own imperfections!

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

         In a phone conversation with our daughter-in-law a few years ago, she told me that our four-year-old grandson was having a “sweet” day.  She related that when they went shopping and she lifted him out of the car, he softly and gently said, “Mommy, I love you.”  Later, when they were in the store and she had him by the hand, he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.  What precious moments!

         “Oh,” you say, “but it doesn’t last!”  Well, actually, it can last.  Of course, it cannot be every moment of every day that children express their love, but there can be an ongoing inner love that leads to respect of parents.  This in-dwelling love should also be present in the parents for the children.  

         Most people would quickly recall the teenage years when children so often tend to disrespect parents as they struggle to “leave the nest” and become independent.  I dare say, even though there are times of friction between parent and child, the foundation can be laid that ensures that children always come back to that expression of love.  

When our oldest grandson reached puberty, I called him aside and said, “Now, Dylan, you are about to become a teenager.  I want you to be like your Uncle Charles.  When he was in high school, he was never afraid to give me a hug no matter who was watching.”  It worked.  Dylan gave me hugs in front of his peers all through his teenage years. He was never afraid to show affection to his mother as well.  His younger sister followed his example and also showed affection to her mom and grandparents.

         A worse scenario than a teen who refuses to show affection to parents, is the grown-up who speaks sharply to aging parents or shows disdain when a parent does something that the grown-up child finds distasteful.  How often have we heard, also, of the aging parent in the nursing home who receives few or no visits from adult children?  

         Dr. Adrian Rogers once remarked in a sermon that he would never allow his children to speak disrespectfully to their mother.  He said that their mother went through much pain to bring their children into the world.  As they grew, she changed their diapers and cared for them in many ways. As a father, he wanted his children to know that they owed their mother respect and that they should treat her with dignity.

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone would love and respect everyone else? Let’s teach our children that love means that we care for others regardless of whether they see things the same way we do.  When others make their best efforts, let’s appreciate those efforts and not be judgmental and critical.  There are ways of expressing our beliefs without hurting others.  After all, we are all learning and growing every day.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The mistakes of others are no worse than our own.  To love others doesn’t mean that we must agree, but it does mean that we should be kind, patient, and longsuffering.  Let us practice this love to our children as we expect them to practice it to us in return.  

         I know of no better description of love than that given in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the New Testament.  It would be good if we all read this chapter often.

It’s Not Just Child’s Play

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

It’s Not Just Child’s Play!

         It is a wonderful thing when parents will play with their children.  There is great value in time spent simply having fun with them.  This time is an opportunity for bonding, teaching, and creating memories.

Right after Christmas there is an opportunity to explore the new toys and games together.  When dad or mom get on the level of the child and explore the new possibilities of enjoyment, the child learns to appreciate the fact that the parent has interest in his/her world.  A special relationship between the child and parent is created.  This new relationship results in a better understanding of each another. 

In the event that a toy breaks, as many are apt to do, as the parent helps repair that toy, the child learns about how things work.  Parents have an opportunity to teach new words and understandings to the child.

Even if there are no new games or toys, parents and children can create their own games. Our grown children still laugh about playing “sandwich” or “slobber ear” with their dad, and I laugh when I see them play the same games with their children.  These are rough and tumble games on the floor (or grass in the summer) where all involved laugh and giggle as they try to get away from each other to avoid having an ear chewed or to become the bottom bread of a sandwich.  They laugh as “the meat” wriggles out to try to become the top bread and the bottom bread tries even harder to escape being the bottom bread.  It is important, however, for the parent to know when enough is enough in these games.  It is cruel to tickle children too much.  Also, weight of individuals needs to be considered so no person is hurt.

Many board games offer opportunities for learning as well as having fun.  Long winter evenings are well spent in playing games such as Monopoly, Balderdash, Sequence, or others with older children. In Monopoly, children learn much about money.  They learn to count the money as well as a great deal about how business works.  Balderdash is a great game for teaching writing, persuasion, and vocabulary.  Our family has laughed until we cried at some of the silly definitions written for some of the words in Balderdash. Board games designed for younger children teach a child to take turns and that they cannot always win.  They can learn to lose graciously.

Laughter is a good medicine. King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”.  Playing and laughing with our children relieves our stress as well as theirs.  We sometimes forget that children, too, have stress as they seek to please their parents and teachers.  

Time spent playing with children is a wonderful investment that yields dividends for eternity.  Children grow up so fast!  Let’s take advantage of the opportunities we have to spend time with them while we can. 

The Most Important Gift We Give

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

The Most Important Gift We Give

         Isn’t it strange how it is Jesus’ birthday and yet we sometimes forget to give a gift to him? How would we like to go to a birthday party in our honor and have all the gifts there be given to someone else?  Our children need to understand that we are celebrating the birthday of Christ.  They need to think of a gift that they can give to Jesus.

         Of course, we all know that the reason for the season is the gift that God gave the earth by sending his only son to the world for our sakes.  We are told that in John 3:16. so, what could we possibly give that would begin to show our appreciation for that gift?

         In the book of Matthew we read, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?  The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine; you did for me’. (Matthew 26: 7, 8) We see by this passage that we give gifts to Jesus by doing things for others.

         It is so heartening to see so many wonderful things being done at Christmas time for others.  I stopped to make a deposit at the bank recently and saw a notice that the bank had adopted a family to help this Christmas. .  One Springfield TV station had an article about someone providing coats to children.  A church in a nearby town gave a ham to every family in town.  Many of the shows in Branson have collected food to disperse.  Shows in Branson have given benefits for the LUC Boy’s Ranch.  One church gives the opportunity for folks to give a Christmas gift by giving to the building fund.  Many of the clubs and organizations have selected special Christmas projects that consider the needs of those around us.  All these things provide ways to give to Jesus

         We are tempted to think that we should spend our money on our own family, but we need to teach our family to think of others.  Each family needs to choose at least one thing to do to give a gift to Jesus by giving to others.  There are wonderful stories of children taking some of their own Christmas gifts and giving them to children in other countries, or even in America, who have less than they have.

         Let’s make sure that our children experience the wonderful feeling of giving to others.  Let’s discuss with our children how they would like to give the most important gift of all—a gift to Jesus.

Finding Time for the Kids in the Christmas Season

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Finding Time for the Kids in the Christmas Season

         It is ironic that most of what we busy ourselves with in the Christmas season is for the kids, yet because we are so busy, we don’t have time for the kids.  The truth of the matter is that time spent with the kids may be far more valuable than any toy or other gift that we may give them.

         There is no doubt that intentions are good as we scurry about decorating, baking, buying, making gifts, singing songs, and all the other things that go along with the ideal picture we have painted in our minds of Christmas. Even with the best of intentions, we often miss the true meaning of Christmas and fall short of the ideal goal we have set for ourselves.

         It is unrealistic to think that we can go all year filling every moment and doing all we can, and then at Christmas time add “umpteen” other activities without subtracting something.  If our schedules are already full, how can we add anything?  Yet, we seem to think we can be super parents and do just that.  If we are already doing all we can, something must be subtracted before we can add anything else.  

         What can be subtracted from our schedules to add the special Christmas activities?  Of course, this is an individual matter.  Each of us must scrutinize the daily schedule to see what can be eliminated.  Perhaps this is the time to check the freezer for foods that can be heated and served without a great deal of cooking.  Deep cleaning is not a necessity.  It can wait until after the holidays.  Family togetherness can be accomplished in doing Christmas projects together.  Many things may simply be put off until after the first of the year.

         Incorporating the children in the Christmas activities allows us to accomplish the special tasks and also spend time with the children. Children love to be a part of secrets.  They can help select a gift for dad from mom or for mom from dad or for grandparents.    It is surprising what children can think of that we often overlook.  They can be a big help in providing ideas.  While on that shopping outing, have lunch with the children at a special place of their choosing.

         By all means, let the children help decorate.  Their ideas may not be perfect in our eyes, but that is not the important thing.  The children will remember more about what they contributed than what we thought looked acceptable to our friends and neighbors.  To this day, I remember pasting together red and green strips of construction paper to make chains to go on the Christmas tree or to hang around the elementary classroom at school Those chains were not the prettiest decorations, but we had a part in making them! 

         Planning ahead and grouping activities together really helps to save time and nerves.  The more trips we make, the more time it takes.  (Also, the more gas it takes!)  

         A child can do without “a perfectly decorated home” or “the perfect toy” easier than that child can do without his/her parent’s time and attention.  Perhaps we should put on a DVD of soothing Christmas music, calm down, and really enjoy time with the children as all work together to show love to one another.  After all, isn’t showing love what Christmas is all about?  John Peterson wrote a cantata titled, “Love Transcending”. Christmas is “love transcending” from heaven to earth.  We can help spread that love around the earth as we remember the real purpose of Christmas. 

Children and Santa

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Santa

       For a long time, Santa has been our society’s focal point of Christmas.  He, no doubt, has sold many million dollars worth of toys.  He has produced much laughter.  He has caused the eyes of children to light up.  In reality, he has been the only reason many people observe Christmas.

         What is the current status of Santa?  Our computer-literate generation of children is not easily fooled.  In truth, how many of us grown-ups ever really believed in Santa?  Some children were fooled simply because they believed that their parents would never lie to them.  Others believed because they thought that by believing, they might get more gifts. Many of us could easily see the impossibility of someone flying around the whole world in one night and stopping at each house and going down each chimney.  We felt that it was insulting our intelligence to expect us to believe such a far-out story.  

         Today, we have many fat Santas at malls, department stores, parades, etc.  Do we really think that our children are not intelligent enough to figure out that they are too big to fit in a chimney?  Even a toddler can question why there are so many Santas.  

         A bigger question involves the feelings of a child who truly believes in Santa because he trusts his parents to never lie, and then finds out that the parents did, indeed, lie to him/her.  What happens, then, when the parents tell the child about an invisible Jesus?  For that matter, can the child believe the parents at any time if they deceived them with a Santa?  

         Our children cannot be shielded from Santa.  Our society sees to it that Santa is visible over and over.  It is a situation we must deal with.  We don’t want to rob our children of the fun of Christmas, but, at the same time, we don’t want our children to lose trust in us. A parent cannot avoid making a decision as to how to handle Santa.

         One idea for parents is to tell the children that to pretend there is a Santa is a fun game that is played at Christmastime.  Just as children play pretend in other areas, parents play pretend with the child about Santa. When little girls play pretend “mommy” with dolls, or little boys may play pretend “soldier” with army toys, they do not really think they are grown.  It is alright to play pretend as long as children can come back to reality. This stimulates creativity. By letting the children know up front that Santa is a pretend game, future disappointment is eliminated.  It would be a good idea to explain that Santa represents giving and making others happy.  That is something that Jesus wants us to do. 

         Santa will probably be around for a long time to come, but deceiving children should end. We should never lie to children.   

         It is important that we create a pleasing experience for children at Christmas without leaving them with the feeling at a later time that they have been deceived.  Different personalities handle this in different ways.  Ultimately, whatever means is used, children should be left with understamding the real meaning of Christmas.  Children need to understand that Christmas is a celebration of the time that God sent his only son into the world to show His love for us.  

Experience is the Best Teacher

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… )

Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Experience is the Best Teacher

Have you noticed that many times our children don’t seem to know how to do some of the simplest things?  Also, how many times have you heard that “kids are so ungrateful” for what they have?  Could it be that the reason for both of these concerns is that children don’t realize what goes into the act of providing and caring for them?

Many times I have heard grandparents say, “I just can’t resist giving things to my grandchildren when they ask”.  My thought is that they shouldn’t be asking in the first place.  We need to teach children to provide for self as much as possible   In doing so, they learn about the effort that goes into obtaining the wanted item or items.  They learn how to do chores, save money, and most of all they will have a greater appreciation of what they receive.

There are many things that children can do to help out.  Even very small children can do simple chores.  Older children learn much from tasks given them.  When a child asks for money, (which they actually shouldn’t be doing unless it is a necessity for school, etc.) there are certainly many things they can do to help around the home. What are some of those things???

Children can sweep or vacuum.  They can wash windows.  They can wash dishes, sweep the garage, pick up things, help repair broken things, organize their play area or room, have a yard sale in a safe community, pull weeds, rake leaves, sweep sidewalks, clean refrigerator, mow the lawn, etc.   The list goes on and on.  Not only do they learn the value of work, but they will appreciate what they get much more than if the money is just handed to them.  They learn that “money doesn’t grow on trees” as my folks used to tell me.  

It isn’t surprising that many times the children will take better care of what they have earned.  Sometimes they even change their minds and decide that thing they wanted isn’t that important after all!  We do our children a great disservice when we just give them things when they have no effort involved!

How to Raise Thankful Kids

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… (Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child..

How to Raise Thankful Children

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

For His mercy endures forever. Psalm 118:29 NKJV

We’ve probably all heard comments about the “ungrateful” children of today.  It’s too bad that the children get so much blame for being ungrateful when it is mostly the fault of those who are raising them!  Here are some ideas of how to raise “grateful” children:

1) Don’t praise children too much.  Praise should be for specific things.  When a child is constantly told how special s/he is, they begin to believe it.  They feel no need to try to improve.  After all, they have been told they are wonderful the way they are.  

2) Children should not be given too much.  Yes, they should be given birthday and Christmas presents, but when they earn what they get, they appreciate it more.  They develop a feeling of appreciation for what it takes to obtain what they have, and they are more selective about what they want.  Many children are capable of doing yard sales in a safe community, working to earn money by doing chores, checking sales slips for errors, etc.  “Necessity is the mother of inventions!”  We don’t give children enough credit for what they can do.

3) Teach children how to work.  They can do chores for neighbors and  fix things around the house.  They can go to work with parents to see what the parents have to do to earn money to support them.

4) Teach them to improvise.  When they don’t have exactly what they want, many times what they have can be used to accomplish the activity.

5) Insist that they write thank you notes or tell a giver “thank you” for what they receive..

6) Help them plant and care for what they planted to raise vegetables.  Many things can be raised in pots on the patio or deck.  Children learn about what it takes to provide their food.

7) Take children to visit a food plant to see people working to provide the food that goes on the shelves at the grocery store.

These are a few simple things that can be done to help children appreciate what they have.  When they sit down to eat and say “thank you” to God, they can really mean it!