Tag Archives: Raising children

How to Raise Ungrateful Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child….

How to Raise Ungrateful Children

How many times have we heard adults complain about children not appreciating what they have?  I’ve heard it over and over.  When those remarks are made, they are often made suggesting that it is all the fault of the children that they don’t appreciate what they have.  With Thanksgiving approaching, perhaps we should think a little deeper on this subject.  Perhaps it is not the fault of the children, but rather how the children are being raised.  Following are some things that I believe contribute to children not being as thankful as they should be:

1)  Parents and others always praising their children.  No one is perfect all the time.  When children hear over and over how wonderful they are, what motivation is there to improve?  

2)  Giving awards that are not earned.  Earning awards develops appreciation for the effort that is put forth.  They mean much more to children if earned than if they are not earned.  Children can often sense that they did not deserve what they got.  

3) Giving children too much.  When things are earned, they mean much more to a person.  Working for something gives it more value.

4)  Intervening to keep children from suffering the consequences of their decisions. It is hard to watch children suffer the consequences of their decisions, but that is the way they learn.  When someone always comes to the rescue, children grow up expecting that and are not as careful as they should be about the choices they make.

5)  Lowering standards of behavior.  “Oh, that’s alright.  I know you meant well!”  I’ve heard this said many times when the action was definitely not alright.  Children need to face the consequences of their choices.  One person shared with me that when their children did wrong, she required them to write a paper telling why that particular thing was wrong.  That’s an excellent idea!

6)  Social promotion.  When children are promoted from grade to grade without having met the requirements of that grade, they grow up thinking that life is that way.  As adults, they come to believe that they should get a paycheck whether they do their work or not.  Having taught GED classes, I can attest to the fact that it is cruel to promote a child when they haven’t achieved what they should have.  They just get in deeper and deeper and are unable to cope.  Those who think they are doing the child a favor are truly wrong. The child often comes to think they are dumb and inferior to others.  

There are other examples of how we are teaching our children, perhaps unknowingly, that they should get things whether they are earned or not.

As Thanksgiving is arriving, let us rethink some of the things we are doing with our children.

Words that Could Change the World

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Words that Could Change the World


There are times when it seems that our present society has lost all sense of good manners!  There was a time when people seemed to care if they acted appropriately.  We were taught to say, “Thank you”, “I’m sorry”, “please” and “excuse me”!

What changed?  How often do we now hear those words?  I dare say not nearly as often as we should.  Perhaps our children would learn to say them more if we, the adults they pattern after, would say them more often.

It seems that often our children have come to expect being pampered and given things for free.  They don’t seem to understand that no one is obligated to pamper them.  As parents and grandparents, we need to teach them to appreciate what they are given.  One way to do that is to require them to say “thank you” or to write thank you notes to the giver.  

It is sad to watch some children bump into adults and just keep going without a mere expression of “excuse me” or “I’m sorry”.  Many times I have watched children line up for treats and just grab them and start eating without so much as “please” or “thank you”.

Whose fault is it that we have college level young people who feel that someone else should pay their loans?  Why is it that so many times we cannot get good service when we are placing orders or trying to get our necessary business done?  I dare say that it is because parents, teachers, and others are not requiring our children to have good manners.  Just saying the words requires children to think about the fact that someone other than self has been involved in their welfare.  That is a step in the right direction to improving our world!

Children and Halloween

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Halloween

“…The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”.  I Samuel 16:17 (NIV)

Halloween presents a dilemma for Christian parents.  Do they really want their children celebrating a holiday that was begun by people who were not worshiping our Lord?  Not only that, the history of Halloween has many undesirable things associated with it.  Yet, is it fair to a child to restrict them from enjoying what seems so harmless when it is the talk of the time, and all their friends seem to be having such a good time?  How can we sort this out?

The history of Halloween can be easily found on the Internet.  Admittedly, it is not what we, as Christians, want to encourage with our children.  It is a good idea to look up this history and go over it with children so they understand how Halloween started.  Although there are some places where Halloween may be celebrated in similar ways to the original Halloween, for the most part, the holiday has essentially become a day of fun with no association with the original intent.  Most children, I dare say, have no idea about the original meaning of Halloween.

What, then, are we to do with children on Halloween?  Many churches have alternative Halloween celebrations that serve to not only provide an acceptable way for children to enjoy the event, but provide opportunity to make contact with the unchurched.  In addition, personally, I always encouraged my children to select costumes that were not scary nor would they promote the original beliefs of the holiday.  There are many fun costumes.  Some of the best are those that children make themselves.  Halloween provides an opportunity for children to be creative.  

The holiday provides a wonderful opportunity for parents to let children know that we serve a loving God of whom we don’t have to constantly fear. He knows who we are and everything we do.  If we give our heart and life to God, He will take care of us. We need to emphasize that no matter what we look like on the outside, God cares most about what we really are on the inside.  

There are actually some good learnings that can come from dressing up as someone else.  It helps children learn to “put themselves in someone’s shoes” and helps them to learn to understand others.  Also, creativity is enhanced as the children work on costumes.  They can learn to say “thank you” when they receive candy or other things. (It is a good idea for parents to go with the children when they “trick or treat”.  There are many dangers now of which we need to be aware. Candy should be checked before it is eaten.) Parents need to talk to children about good manners.

Whatever parents decide about Halloween, children need to learn that God is a loving God and looks at our heart, and He is more concerned about the heart than the appearance.

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Parents’ Good Intentions are not Enough

       It is wonderful when parents can truly enjoy their children and want to make them happy.  It presents a challenge, however, to make children happy and at the same time prepare them for their future.  It seems that the idea has permeated our society that we all should be happy and having fun all the time, and that the only good parent is the parent who entertains children and protects them from hardships.  

         Just as a “hot-house” tomato has a difficult time adjusting to the challenges in nature when it is set out in a garden, so do children who have been sheltered from all rules and hardships have a difficult time adjusting to the real world.  Adults who work with children need to discover a balance between letting children be children and at the same time preparing them for a time when they are unprotected by adults.  Children must have guidelines and rules to live by and be required to abide by those rules for their own good.  They must be allowed to experience the consequences of the choices they make.  With a few exceptions such as birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. they must earn what they receive. 

         Children who have no guidelines are always insecure and uncertain as to what behavior is acceptable and what punishment they may receive for their behavior.  They are at loose ends with the world and often express their frustration by exhibiting unacceptable behavior.  By contrast, children who have rules and are required to abide by them, have a certainty in their minds that they are doing the right thing.  The stress of making decisions without necessary information is removed, and they are happier children.  Many well-intentioned parents think that letting their children do what they want to do is helping them.  Not true.  Children are not equipped to make many decisions by themselves and often make the wrong decisions and get in trouble for doing so.  It is much better to make sure they know what is right and wrong before they make the wrong decisions.  Important, also, is reinforcement of correct behavior.  When a child is told, “You did the right thing”, the child feels a real sense of relief and is inclined to repeat that behavior.

         It is hard for any parent or teacher to watch a child go through something unpleasant.  However, when we jump in and rescue the child from the consequences of his/her behavior, we become enablers.  When we enable a child to do wrong and get by with it, that child grows up thinking that whatever he/she desires is acceptable, and someone will bail him/her out of trouble.  It is through the natural punishment of consequences that children learn many lessons that we may never be able to teach in another way.

         When children are continually rewarded for doing what is normally required, they grow up thinking that they don’t have to act in acceptable ways unless rewarded for doing so.  A teacher friend of mine often said, “Virtue is its own reward”.  There are some things that we are supposed to do whether there is a reward or not.  One school in IL, where our daughter taught, rewarded children for doing their homework by taking them to McDonalds on Fridays.  This, in my opinion, is not a good way to use rewards.  Homework is something that children should do without getting a material reward. One NEA magazine had an article some time back about paying children to go to school.  Is it any wonder that we are living in an entitlement generation when this kind of thinking abounds?

         Ideally, parents should decide in their own minds how they want their children to “turn out” as to character traits and keep this goal in mind in everyday contact with their children.  We can’t just let our children always be happy-go-lucky without responsibilities and rules and expect them to someday display responsibilities without material rewards.

Children Build on Successes

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Build on Successes

         What parent or teacher does not want to teach in such a way as to produce the optimum learning in a child?  Through the ages, much research and experimentation have been done to determine how a child learns best.  All of this, along with plain common sense, tells us that children learn best when they build on little successes.

         Keeping this fact in mind, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: “How does a child define success?”  “How can a teacher or parent make sure that a child succeeds as that child determines success?

         Children most often define success according to the amount of praise received for a task accomplished.  If the child receives a little praise, the child feels that s/he has done alright.  If a child receives a great deal of praise, that child feels especially good about what has been accomplished and feels success.  Immediately, the child wants to repeat the action to receive more praise.  Success gives a child hope and confidence in ability to achieve.  The child will automatically select activities similar to those for which praise was received.  Conversely, a child will avoid activities where success was not experienced. This demonstrates the need for praising children rather than scolding them. However, the praise should never be false praise!  When a child receives false praise, s/he feels like they are doing great and are not motivated to improve.   

Praise needs to be focused on the achievement rather than the child.  Too much praise for the child leads to a child having a feeling of superiority.  We don’t want children growing up feeling they are better than others.  However, we do want them to have confidence in their ability to do a good job.

         It is important that tasks be delegated commensurate with a child’s ability to succeed.  If tasks are too difficult, the child cannot experience satisfaction. There is a value in “instant success”.  When we introduce something new, it would be well to take a small portion that is easy to learn and start with that.  When the child succeeds in one little thing, s/he is encouraged to tackle more.  The child has instantly felt success and is eager to experience more success.

         “Chunk learning” is a phrase commonly used in education circles.  It simply means that it is better to take a chunk at a time rather than throw the whole thing at a child all at once.  “Chunk learning” allows a student to feel more success and avoids much confusion in processing information in the brain.  When too much is presented at one time, the child becomes confused and bewildered with information and is often not able to sort through and classify it to “file it away” in the mind for future use.  

         It takes understanding on the part of the parent or teacher to know how much to expect children to grasp at one time and still feel successful.  New teachers have been told, “Don’t try to teach them all you know on the first day!”  We need to give information in doses that can be processed in a manner for the child to feel successful.  It is difficult to do this when we think of how very much a child needs to know to survive in our culture.  When teachers are expected to cover a certain amount of material in a certain amount of time, it becomes tempting to speed up to get through the lessons.  It is counterproductive to do so.  It is as if children start “putting on the brakes” when pressure, rather than success, is felt. No matter what society demands of a person, forcing a child to learn when that child is not ready is like trying to force a flower to bloom.

         Some parents and teachers can readily sense when a child is feeling successful and others seem to go blindly along never knowing when a child is feeling good or bad about something.  Love is the quality that gives understanding.  We need to love the ones with whom we are working.  When we really care, we will want children to succeed and make efforts to teach accordingly.   

Children Need Help with Social Studies

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down, Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Need Help with Social Studies

     Social Studies in school includes so very much that it is virtually impossible for a student to obtain all that is needed to become a good citizen through studies taught there alone.  Parents must step up and help children form attitudes, gain knowledge, and put into practice those things that make up a person who fits well into our society. At best, teachers can only skim the surface of important knowledge that children need.

         Social studies include the study of history, government, citizenship, geography, economics, and political science.  Schools generally have separate courses to cover each topic, but actually all of the topics necessarily overlap.  

         Parents can help teach good citizenship by first setting an example of being a good citizen.  They need to obey laws and point out to children what the laws are.  Many young people do not know until too late that certain things are against the law.  In addition, they often wonder why the laws are, in their sight, so unnecessary.  Reasons for laws should be pointed out to children at a very young age.

         I am amazed at how many of my GED students did not know the branches of government or the responsibilities of each branch. The system of checks and balances is so very important, yet many young people think that our president makes all of the decisions.  A 30 minute session with a child can teach these important facts that help enable a child to understand the workings of our government.  

         When families go on vacation, children can trace the trip on maps.  When they write letters to relatives or friends, they can locate where the letter is going on a map.  When news items are discussed about foreign lands, a globe or world map should be available in the home for the children to locate those countries.  These things all help a child with geography.

         A thrifty family automatically teaches economics.  When a child is taught to wait to purchase an item when it is not a fad, that child is learning the principle of supply and demand.  When an older child is given a clothing allowance and made responsible for budgeting and purchasing his/her own clothing, that child is learning economics. 

         Many children have a negative attitude toward politics and it is suspect that they have picked up this attitude at home.  Adults need to be very careful about their comments concerning elected officials when children are present.  It is really impossible to teach a child to respect authority, government, and love for our country when all they hear is negative comments about it.  Parents need to tell stories from history of sacrifice of many who have worked and fought for our country, so their sons and daughters will develop an appreciation for where we live. There are many in our society now who would do away with our constitution.  Children need to be taught at home about how our constitution came about and how successfully it has worked in the past.

         Children should watch some news and documentaries on TV, but parents need to be very selective in what they have their children watch.  Older children need to watch or listen to news at least one time each day and discuss with adults what they hear.  Most would agree that there is much on the news that younger children should not be allowed to view.  That said, it is, in a way, fortunate that the news is repeated so many times each day.  This allows parents to watch it first and then select the portions they think would be good for the children to see.

         Leaving the teaching of social studies entirely to the schools is a bad idea.  Just as journalists pick and choose what they report according to their opinions, so teachers cannot help but emphasize what they believe and deemphasize what they do not believe.  Parents need to take charge of the learning of their young children and teach children to think for themselves.  

Learning Science can be Fun!

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Learning Science can be Fun

         Parents are often hesitant to help children with homework for fear they will look dumb to their children or teach them something that is inconsistent with what the school is teaching. There is much that families can do to provide learning foundations for children at home as well as  helping with assigned projects.  Helping children use the scientific method for problem solving helps develop logical thinking that carries over to produce success at school in science classes.

         One of the best things parents can do is help children develop a curiosity for learning.  Taking children for walks and observing plants, rocks, animal tracks, and animals is interesting for both the children and the parents.  It is quality time spent to nurture curiosity for learning.  There are simple projects that are fun for children.  An acorn man can be made by using toothpicks and running them through the acorns making a body, legs, arms, and head.  It is fun to use an acorn that still has a “hat” on for the head.  A pen can be used to make facial features.  Laying paper over leaves and scribbling on it brings out the features of the leaves.  If a magnifying glass is available, children learn even more about the construction of things in nature and develop an eye for details.  It seems that many children love to collect rocks.  Using the Internet to look up information about different rocks is certainly a great learning project.

         As children ask questions, parents can ask questions in return.  As parents ask questions, children are forming a hypothesis about the subject.  Whenever possible, follow-up experiments can be conducted to see if the reason is true.  This is the scientific method of thinking.  In this simple way, children are learning a foundation for experimentation in science classes in high school and college.  It is good at this point to tell children the difference between a theory and a fact.  Until something is proven, it is simply a theory.  It is so very important that children understand this difference.  If children tend to believe theories, they can simply be asked, “Has that actually been proven?”  A child who has been taught that facts must be obtained to back up theories does not readily accept any idea that comes along.

         Science project assignments for children at home provide an opportunity for quality time spent with children.  However, some children are simply not able to do some of the things often required in home projects.  Teachers need to use care in making assignments.  When children are asked to do artistic type projects, it is a real temptation for parents to do it for the children if their child is not “picture smart”. Teachers would be wise to offer a choice of projects for children that include a variety of methods.  When the child chooses a preferred project, it is usually because he/she feels more capable of doing it.  The parents can then ask questions, provide information, and make suggestions, rather than doing the project.  

         It is so easy to help children with learning science.  It is fun to learn together and explore the wonderful world that God made.  Spending time with children in nature provides an excellent opportunity to point out the greatness of our heavenly Father. Those who don’t choose to do so, miss out on a wonderful and fun time with their children.

Helping Children with Math

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Math Homework

         A common phrase heard by parents is, “I was never any good in math either”.  My late husband, a retired math teacher, said that you never hear parents say, “I was never any good in reading either”.  A parent’s attitude is transferred to children easily.  Undoubtedly, this attitude expressed about math influences a child and often causes the child to think that it is alright to be less proficient in math than in reading and “lets them off the hook” when it comes to doing math homework.  One of the best ways to help children with math homework is to have the right attitude about math itself.  In addition, parents need to be involved with the homework and need to provide opportunities for math usage to help children see its importance.

         Math is similar in one way to building a house.  You can’t put the walls up until the foundation is laid.  Often children miss out somewhere along the way in math and that affects the understanding of current assignments.  In such cases, the child simply needs to go back and find where he/she got off track and “fill in the chinks” in that foundation.    

         There are two reasons for learning math.  The first reason is obvious.  It is used in many, many aspects of life.  Adults should never say, “You’ll never use this.” This causes the child to think they don’t have to learn it.  The other reason for learning math is that it is a mental exercise that develops the thinking processes.  When children learn to do math, especially word problems, they are learning to consider all facts and are required to sort out what is needed and set priorities to solve the problem. These same procedures are used in all decision-making in real life. In this respect, all math is useful. It is interesting that at one time math was referred to as the math discipline.  That title is fitting as math truly disciplines the brain.

         Parents often shy away from becoming involved in math homework for fear they will do it wrong.  It is true that some different methods are being used in some schools, but often if the child is asked to explain the methods, the problem will be solved by the child during the explanation.  A good thing to do is to ask the child to tell you what he/she knows about a problem.  This helps the student break down the problem in parts.  It is not a good idea to try to teach children different methods until a child has mastered one method as it will cause confusion.  It is profitable to take the time to study the textbook to see what method is being taught rather than try to teach a child to solve the way we were taught.  

         When children hear parents comparing prices and noting how much money can be saved, they are being helped with math.  When children are restricted from impulse buying and required to compare prices, they are being helped with math.  When coupons are clipped and children are allowed to keep a portion of the savings, they are learning math.  When parents require children to learn multiplication tables, they are doing a very important action to help their children in math. In safe communities, children can hold their own yard sales and sell toys or other items they have outgrown. The money earned is a great motivation!

         In a workshop I attended, we were told that an unusual number of students nationwide are finding it necessary to take remedial math when they go to college.  There is a real concern about the low math achievement in this country. We can help not only our children with their math, but in doing so, we are helping our country.  

Helping Children with Reading Homework

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Helping Children with Reading Homework

         Many parents shy away from helping their children with homework.  Often, this is because they are afraid they will not do it the way the teacher wants, or perhaps they feel inadequate.  There are six basic subject areas for which children may receive homework. They are reading, math, language, social studies, writing, and science.  In this column, I would like to make comments about helping children with reading.

         It is helpful to understand how reading is taught in schools today.  In the past there were arguments about whether sight reading or phonetic reading was best.  Actually, both are used.  There are certain words that children should simply memorize and learn by sight.  A good basis of phonics is absolutely necessary for a child to be able to decode words on his/her own.

         One of the best ways to help a child with sight words is to use flash cards.  Teachers can give parents a list of words that children should know by sight.  Children can make their own flash cards or flash cards may be purchased.  The advantage for a child to make the cards is that the child learns about spelling and writing at the same time as the words are learned. The advantage of purchasing the cards is that the print is similar to what the child sees on the pages in books.  Either or both are helpful.

         If a parent feels inadequate to teach phonics, that parent can ask the child to teach the parent. The child learns the sounds at school and usually knows them but simply needs review and practice for reinforcement.  Sometimes a parent may need to put a finger over part of a word to help the child break the word down.  Much of reading depends on the vision of a child…both the physical vision and the way the child sees the word in his/her mind.  By covering part of a word, the child can see parts of the word in the mind rather than just seeing a bunch of letters of the alphabet.

         The best thing any parent can do to help with a child’s reading is simply have that child read, read, read.  Older children can read stories to younger children or to the parents.  The children need to be familiar with the local library and have enjoyable books on hand to read at all times.  Reading at home should generally be easy reading. If a child does not know five words to a page, that book is too difficult for the child.  Reading easy books develops a feeling of self-satisfaction.  The child becomes more fluent and develops speed.  Usually, it is best to leave the difficult books for the school to handle.  Encouraging a child to read enjoyable and easy books develops a good foundation for reading in years to come.  If reading is always difficult, the child will shy away from it.

         Parents should see that books are available for children all the time.  Books should be in the car, so that when a child has to wait for a parent somewhere, the child can be reading.  Children can help make and read grocery lists.  They can read directions on packages to mom or dad when meals are being prepared.  Parents can find many opportunities to help children with reading and need not hesitate to do so.

Something’s Missing

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising children….

Something’s Missing!

The Backpack Ministry is a good thing, especially now with prices on so many things continually rising. Many children would be starting back to school without the tools they need for learning.  However, it seems that something may be missing!

It is common to hear adults talk about how today’s children seem so ungrateful for the things they get or have.  “Why I can remember in the old days that we were lucky to have shoes to wear when we went to school! We sure didn’t have all the fancy stuff kids these days have!”  True.  It was sad to see broken pencils on the floor of classrooms when I was teaching GED classes.  It was obvious that someone didn’t appreciate those pencils!  They had deliberately broken them in half and thrown them on the floor!

What’s missing?  The attitude of gratitude.  At a recent meeting I attended, the backpack ministry was mentioned.  “Do any of you know of anyone receiving a “thank you” note from a recipient of a backpack?” I asked.   Blank looks all around!  No one had.  Aren’t we missing an opportunity to teach children to be grateful when we don’t require them to write a thank you note?

Perhaps an addressed blank note could be included in the backpacks.  Parents and/or teachers could require the children to write a note of thanks to the giver.  This could go a long way in teaching gratitude and is also a good writing lesson for the children.  Children who have not yet learned to write could draw a picture and have someone else write the words “thank you”.  

It would seem we miss many opportunities to teach children to be grateful.  My husband and I started years ago giving our grandchildren $5 for each “A” they made on their report card and $4 for each “B”.  Nothing was given for “C’s” because that is expected of them and is nothing special.  At the end of the grading period, we saw a copy of their report cards and tallied up what they had earned.  We also gave money for high marks in conduct.  After all, good conduct is necessary for success in life.  The children gain pride in earning money and feel they have a job like their folks have.  It was understood that part of the money was for pleasure and part to save for future education.  We always received “thank you’s” from the children for the checks we sent.  Now that my husband has passed away, I continue the practice. I don’t shower them with constant gifts.  They can learn to budget their own money for the things they really want or feel they need.

Why are we surprised that so many children do not feel gratitude for what they receive when we don’t require them to do such a simple thing as to say, “thank you”?