Tag Archives: mental health of children

In Their Shoes

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

In Their Shoes

 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 KJV

It is easy to become so concerned with our hustle and bustle as parents that we forget the feelings that children have as they prepare to return to school.  Yes, parents worry about clothes, supplies, schedules, etc.  But what about the children and what they are feeling and thinking??

It is good to remember when we were in school.  The worries of children are real!  Many are scared!  Just as God made no two snowflakes the same, He made no two children the same.  Some worry more than others, but there are some general concerns that most children have.  They are:

1) Will I have any friends?

2) What kind of teacher will I have?

3) Will the work be really hard?

4) Will Mom and Dad be pleased with what I do?

5) Will I have a lot of homework?

6) Will Mom and Dad yell at me if I have a bad report card?

7) Will I have a good place to sit in class?

8) What will I have for lunch?

9) What if I don’t know my multiplication tables?

10)  I’ve heard a lot of people talk about things that I don’t understand that are going on in some schools.  Am I supposed to believe everything the teacher says? 

Many children will not sleep well the night before the first day of school.  They will be tired but yet have to get up early.  Hopefully they will have a good breakfast ready, but some will say they are not hungry.  They may be too excited to eat!

When the children get on the bus or get to school, they will probably be hesitant to do anything those first few days.  (I found when I taught that they were better behaved the first week or two of school.  They are surveying the situation and hold back actions until they feel confident as to what to do.)

What about homeschooling?  Homeschooling eliminates many of these anxieties.  They already have the answers to many of the questions that worry children who go to public school.  Homeschoolers have an advantage in this area unless they have an instructor at home who is not prepared or does not understand them.  When I taught GED classes, occasionally I would get a student who had been homeschooled.  With the exception of one student, I can honestly say that it appeared they had been well educated.  I highly recommend home schooling unless there is no one who can do it adequately.  It takes time and much patience!!  There are many homeschool groups now that can make up for music, sports, art, etc.  

As the new school year begins, let’s try to put ourselves in the shoes of the children. it’s tough to parent, it is also tough to be a good kid!

Something’s Missing

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising children….

Something’s Missing!

The Backpack Ministry is a good thing, especially now with prices on so many things continually rising. Many children would be starting back to school without the tools they need for learning.  However, it seems that something may be missing!

It is common to hear adults talk about how today’s children seem so ungrateful for the things they get or have.  “Why I can remember in the old days that we were lucky to have shoes to wear when we went to school! We sure didn’t have all the fancy stuff kids these days have!”  True.  It was sad to see broken pencils on the floor of classrooms when I was teaching GED classes.  It was obvious that someone didn’t appreciate those pencils!  They had deliberately broken them in half and thrown them on the floor!

What’s missing?  The attitude of gratitude.  At a recent meeting I attended, the backpack ministry was mentioned.  “Do any of you know of anyone receiving a “thank you” note from a recipient of a backpack?” I asked.   Blank looks all around!  No one had.  Aren’t we missing an opportunity to teach children to be grateful when we don’t require them to write a thank you note?

Perhaps an addressed blank note could be included in the backpacks.  Parents and/or teachers could require the children to write a note of thanks to the giver.  This could go a long way in teaching gratitude and is also a good writing lesson for the children.  Children who have not yet learned to write could draw a picture and have someone else write the words “thank you”.  

It would seem we miss many opportunities to teach children to be grateful.  My husband and I started years ago giving our grandchildren $5 for each “A” they made on their report card and $4 for each “B”.  Nothing was given for “C’s” because that is expected of them and is nothing special.  At the end of the grading period, we saw a copy of their report cards and tallied up what they had earned.  We also gave money for high marks in conduct.  After all, good conduct is necessary for success in life.  The children gain pride in earning money and feel they have a job like their folks have.  It was understood that part of the money was for pleasure and part to save for future education.  We always received “thank you’s” from the children for the checks we sent.  Now that my husband has passed away, I continue the practice. I don’t shower them with constant gifts.  They can learn to budget their own money for the things they really want or feel they need.

Why are we surprised that so many children do not feel gratitude for what they receive when we don’t require them to do such a simple thing as to say, “thank you”?

Starting Kids to School on the Right Foot

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

  Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

       Getting off to a bad start in anything is not a good thing, but it is especially important that children get a good start at the beginning of each school year.  The start of the year sets the pattern of behavior for the remainder of the school year and possibility for years to come.  Having a set pattern removes uncertainty and much confusion as children practice firm rules in the home.  As those rules become habits, parents are more at ease and there is less worry on the part of both the parents and the children.

         Before school starts in the fall, parents need to sit down with children and pray with them that they will do their best.  Undue pressure should not be put on any child to make straight “A’s”.  Rather, children should be encouraged to do the best they can do with the abilities God has given them.  II Timothy 2:15 is a good verse to use to impress children to do their best in school. If a child can understand that it is God who is to be pleased more than self, teachers, or parents, studying becomes more important. This gives purpose and the proper attitude toward learning. The prayer instills a sense of seriousness about the importance of behavior and effort.

         Children need routine.  They need the understanding that their behavior is acceptable, and they need to know that their parents are concerned with their well-being.

         Why not use the cell phone, that most older children have, to help them remember their routine? Our youngest son programs the cell phone of his sons to remind them of what they are to do and when they are to do it.  They can then text him when the chores are accomplished. 

A good routine for children each school night might include the following:

1) Homework is done at a certain time and place; then, it is laid out in a special spot so the child will not have to hunt for it the next morning.

2) Anything that is to be taken to school with the homework is placed along with the homework in a designated spot to prevent the scurrying around that often occurs in many homes as children frantically try to get ready to go to school.

3) Clothes to be worn the next day are laid out and ready to be put on.

4) Any chores in the home that the child is to do the next day are explained, so that the child is not surprised with added activities that may interrupt his/her plans.

     5) The alarm clock is set.

      When these things are taken care of, one of the parent’s checks in on the child at bedtime to be available to hear questions or comments from the child before hearing the prayers of the younger children.  Older children may want to say prayers in private.

When the listed items are done, the child can go to bed at ease knowing all is ready for the next day.  That child knows that the right thing has been done and will have a sense of accomplishment. Both the children and the parents will rest better knowing that all is organized. 

When children wake up in the morning and their clothes are ready for them, they don’t have the turmoil in their minds to start the day wondering what to wear.  They don’t have to worry about their homework because they know where it is.  After a good breakfast, one or both parents can give each child a big hug and kiss before he/she walks out the door along with a word of advice such as, “Learn all you can learn!” or “No matter what happens today, I will still love you tonight!”  With a final, “I love you!” the child is on the way to a good day at school.

Children Benefit from Chores

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….(Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children Benefit from Chores

         Many parents and grandparents search for ways to “keep kids busy” during the summer.  Often the insinuation is that children must constantly be entertained and kept happy and having fun.  Often overlooked is the value of having children do chores for at least a few hours each day.  If a study were done of adults who did chores when young as opposed to adults who did not do chores when young, I feel confident that the more successful adults are those who had regular chores for which they were responsible as a child.

Often adults think it is much easier to do something themselves than to take the time to help a child learn to do it.  This probably is true in the short term, but once a child has learned to do a chore correctly, that child can be a great deal of help.  However, the real benefits are for the child rather than for the adult.  The list is endless.  Here are a few benefits:

  • There is no way for a child to develop self-esteem or self-worth without actually being of worth or value.  When a child does a task well, that child can honestly feel good about having done something of value.
  • Children learn proper procedures for caring for belongings.
  • Children learn about the effort that goes into making or growing something.  This leads to greater appreciation of the effort others make on their behalf for the things they enjoy.
  • Children get exercise when doing physical tasks.  A lack of exercise can lead to depression. Physical exercise creates endorphins that fight depression.
  • Vocabulary is increased as children learn the names of tools and cleaning agents and words used in giving instructions.
  • Children learn that nothing in life is truly free.  We each must work to obtain and care for wants and necessities.
  • Self-discipline is learned in tasks that may not be the most pleasant and yet must be completed.  This self-discipline leads to perseverance.
  • Chores keep a child busy doing positive things when the time might otherwise be used doing things that may be harmful.
  • When a child learns the proper care of his/her belongings, that child will have more respect for the belongings of others.
  • Chores connected to gardening or the out-of-doors help children learn the names of plants and some principles they will later study in science classes dealing with botany.
  • Chores related to the care of animals help children learn compassion and understanding that carries over in their relationships with people.
  • Children learn to listen and follow instructions—a necessity for job success as an adult.

The list could go on and on.  The benefits listed here are enough to justify adults taking the time to teach children how to do chores and to require that they be done.  During the school year, children are so busy with school and homework that it is difficult to have children do very many chores. Summer is the best time for parents to concentrate on teaching those things that children need to know to care for their own home in the future.  The parent who does not take advantage of this time is missing a real opportunity to shape a child.

How Can We Prepare Children for Future America?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How Can We Prepare Children for Future America?

         Anyone who keeps up with the news is aware of the fact that our country is having a great many problems.  It is obvious that lifestyles will need to change in the future as our country faces debt at historical levels.  The figures do not lie.  There is no way that the debt can be paid off in the few years remaining until our children reach adulthood.  Wise parents will do all they can now to prepare their children to cope with what they will have to face when they become adults.

         What can parents do to prepare their children for the America of the future?  There are three things that children need to learn that will greatly help no matter what the future holds.  Children need to learn to distinguish necessities from things they only want and think would be nice to have.  They need to learn to be self-sufficient, and they need to learn to be thrifty.

         Ask almost any person to give up their cell phone and they will tell you, “Oh, no!  I have to have my cell phone!”  Actually, mankind has gone many centuries without a cell phone.  Although they are nice to have, they are not a necessity.  This is only one example of people not being able to distinguish needs from wants. This transfers to our children.  For years we have gone in debt as a country, and in our households, thinking things were necessary when they were not.  Romans 13:8 clearly says “Owe no man anything, but to love one another.”  We have winked at that scripture in order to satisfy our wants for self pleasure and convenience.  

         If we don’t have the money to buy something, we should do without it.  I can remember that my dad would not buy a new car until he could pay cash for it.  He would take a load of cattle to market and combine his earnings with savings in order to buy a new vehicle.  How times have changed!  Children want to borrow ahead on their allowance and often we give in.  Why?  We give in because we do the same thing when we buy things we cannot afford.  We have the mistaken idea that to let children have pleasure is to show love.  This is far from the truth.  Real love has to be tough in order to teach correctness of behavior.

         Go to almost any home in America, poverty level included, and you will see broken toys or toys that children seldom touch.  It is not uncommon to see toys left in the yard getting ruined. Undoubtedly, at one time, someone thought it was really necessary to get those toys for the children. Many toys break almost before a child has a chance to play with them.  Money should not be wasted in this way.  Also, money should not be wasted on junk food that does harm to children.  We have many, many people in our country who have diabetes.  Some soda  has at least 10 teaspoons of sugar in one serving.  The larger bottles have 2 ½ servings, meaning that approximately 25 teaspoons of sugar may be in a large bottle of soda.  We are ruining the health of ourselves and our children, as well as wasting our money, when we allow them to have too much soda.

         If we can teach our children the difference between wants and needs, to be thrifty, and to be self-sufficient, we will have gone a long way in preparing our children to live in future America.

Experience is the Best Teacher

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Experience is the Best Teacher

       One of the best things that parents can do for their children is to give them a variety of experiences.  There are many benefits in doing so.  Giving a child experiences in various areas increases a child’s understanding of the world around him/her.  It also increases a child’s vocabulary resulting in greater comprehension in reading.  Of course, it is important to choose the right kind of experiences.  

         When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we had a little boy who had many social problems.  He could do practically nothing in school.  He was frightened and kept running away from the dormitory and school.  He was sent to Phoenix to see a psychiatrist.  The problem was that the boy had lived with his deaf grandmother most of his life and spent most of his time herding sheep.  He had no one to talk to and no experiences other than sheep-herding.  This is an extreme example of a child who needed experiences.  He was frightened because he knew nothing about other children or the world around him.  He was not retarded mentally.  He seemed to catch on quickly once we started working with him and allowing him to play with the toys we had purchased for the children.  

The more experiences a child has, the greater understanding the child obtains of the world. The child develops a greater understanding of the emotions of people and is better able to fit into society. S/he also observes job requirements of various jobs and will be more able to be self-supporting in adulthood.

         Every new experience introduces new vocabulary to a child.  We tend to block out the things we don’t understand and “latch on” to the things that are familiar to us.  Many times students in my GED classes will tell me, “I have never heard that word before!”  In actuality, it may be a word that is commonly used in conversations.  They had simply blocked it out because they didn’t understand it.  When a child has many experiences, the vocabulary obtained from those experiences becomes familiar and is no longer blocked out.  The child then not only has a better understanding of what is read, but also better understands conversations that are going on all the time.  

What kind of experiences can we give our children?  Visiting National Parks is perhaps one of the best.  Right now, Civil War reenactments are taking place at some parks. National Parks are set aside because of their benefits to us.  When our children were young, my husband had a habit of stopping at roadside historical monuments when we traveled.  At home, simple projects around the house add to a child’s knowledge.  When dad teaches a child to repair something, that child is learning the names of tools, etc.  Cooking and sewing are good experiences for children. Even refinishing furniture and cleaning are good for children. 

         Summer is the perfect time to give children good experiences that will increase their vocabulary and help them understand the world around them. It would be good to take advantage of this opportunity.

A Good Dad Teaches His Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Good Dad Teaches His Children

       The father is supposed to be the head of his household and able to control his children.  To father a child brings a large amount of responsibility, but that responsibility can be very pleasant if it becomes a way of life.  A dad who really cares for his children will try to teach them what they need to know to live a productive life.  What should a father teach?  When should a father teach?  How should a father teach?

         Dads need to teach children right from wrong.  They need to teach their children the fundamentals necessary to get along in life.  They need to teach the dangers and pitfalls.  They need to teach their children how to do basic things such as making repairs around the home, knowing how to care for a car, knowing how to take care of a yard.  There are basic things like reading, writing, and math that are not totally the responsibility of the school to teach.  Dad needs to make sure their children are able to cope with those things that will inevitably come their way. They need to teach children how to have compassion and do things to help others.  He needs to teach them to respect the parents, others, and self.

         One might say, “I’m too busy putting food on the table to take the time to teach my children.”  We usually find the time to do what we want to do.  If dads really want to teach their children, they will find a way.  When children are with their dads, dads need to be aware of opportunities to teach their children.  Love finds a way.  I can remember fondly when my dad would take me on his lap before I was old enough to start to school, take his railroad watch out of his bib overalls, and teach me to tell time.  This was after he had worked in the field all day when he would sit down for a few minutes before he would go milk our 20-25 cows.  He wanted his children to sit on his lap and “hug his neck”.  He would talk to us about any number of things at that time.  As we tagged along after him, helping with whatever we were able to do, he would explain what he was doing and why he was doing it.  He would pick a blade of grass and show it to us as he studied all the little lines and “hairs” on it, and then he would say, “Look at that!  That’s better artwork than any painting.  Only God can do that!”  Dads are constant teachers whether they are aware of it or not.  They are teachers all the time as long as they are in contact with their children.

         How do dads teach?  They mostly teach by example.  They also talk to their children about important things.  They demonstrate how things are to be done.  It is important that dads have a family time once each week to use Scripture and explain it to the children.  Dads teach thankfulness when they pray before eating at each meal.  Dads teach in every word they say, whether they are good words or bad.  When dads disrespect their wives, they are teaching their children not to respect their mother.  When dads are patient and loving, they are teaching their children to be the same way. When dads put up with things that they really don’t like, they are teaching their children to be longsuffering and kind to others.  When dads criticize other people, they are teaching their children to condemn others.

         Studies show that in spite of any training we may receive, we tend to raise our children as we were raised.  We need to do all we can to set a good example for our children so they will know how to raise their children.  Our country needs strong dads.  Our children need strong dads who will teach them truth.  God has commanded dads to be the spiritual leaders of their homes.  If the will is there, dads will teach their children what they need to know in ways they can understand all the time.

A Good Dad Protects His Family

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Good Dad Protects His Family

         One of the major roles assigned to fathers is family protection.  In days gone by, a dad would keep a gun by the door to protect his family against wild animals or anything that might be a harmful threat to his wife and children.  Although dads no longer need to protect their families from wild animals, there are many other threats to be dealt with.  In fact, it may have been easier to protect his family from the threats of yesteryear than the threats of today. Dads need to protect their families from physical, mental, social, and spiritual harm.  

         Today’s threats to physically harm a family come in the form of alcohol, drugs, poor health habits, or safety from storms.  Dads need to keep their eyes wide open for any evidence of threats in these areas.  When it comes to substance abuse, the best defense is to prevent the use of harmful items in the first place.  It is much more difficult once their use has started to change a child’s habits.  If a man’s home is his castle, then the man should make sure that his castle does not contain anything harmful to his family.  Social drinking in homes has led to much alcohol abuse.   Naturally, the children think that if dad and mom drink, it is alright for them to drink alcoholic beverages. In addition to protection from harmful drugs or alcohol, dads need to make sure that there is a tornado shelter or safe place to go in storms for his family.

         Mental protection of children involves making sure that children are developing the right attitude toward moral behavior.  It also involves making sure their children are getting a good education at school.  Dads need to be involved in school activities.  Some TV programs need to be restricted.  A child can’t fill his/her mind with garbage and have good thoughts.  Certain music should be prohibited as well as certain posters or art work in a child’s room.  Dads need to be aware of the child’s interests.  This may mean going into a child’s room and checking what is there.  Teens often hide behind the “privacy” right.  There should be some right to privacy but not if it involves wrongdoing by the child.  Suspicion of such requires investigation.  

         Dads need to know about their children’s friends.  It is best to help children make the right kind of friends rather than wait until the wrong kind is selected and try to remedy it.  Either way, children should be protected from the influence of friends who would lead them to do wrong.  Children should not be allowed to go places like some rock concerts and some movies. Dads need to teach children to show respect to all people, including their mother and teachers. Children need to learn good manners such as saying “excuse me”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, and “please”.  

         It is dad’s job to be the spiritual leader of the family.  He should make sure the family is in church every Sunday.  His job in the other four areas will be much easier if he fulfills this duty first.  Good friends can be found at church.  Church provides a safe place for making friends and learning proper behavior.  Ideally, every father should lead a family devotional time each week at home to reinforce the spiritual truths learned at church. As children learn the power of prayer, they find the greatest protection of all.  Dads would be wise to tap into this source of protection.

         Dads have a daunting task when it comes to protecting the family.  As Father’s Day approaches, let’s try to think of ways we can support the dads we know as they try to accomplish this task!

Who said that Parenting is Easy?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Who said that Parenting is Easy?

         Someone recently told me that they had overheard some young girls say that they couldn’t wait until they were old enough to have a baby and drop out of school.  How little they know about what parenting involves! There are those who think that having a baby is like having a doll.  They don’t realize that the “live doll” will have many needs that must be fulfilled and that the “live doll” will not always be a pleasure.

        Being a parent takes physical, spiritual, social, and mental strength. From the time a baby is born until parents can no longer function, parents muster up the strength to help their children.

         A baby requires much physical energy from parents.  Who has not seen a mom or dad with circles under the eyes from being up at night with a child.  The hunger pangs of a baby do not know how to tell time.  As the baby cries, mom or dad may be waiting impatiently for a bottle to warm.  There are diapers to be changed, food to be prepared, laundry to be done, house to be cleaned, and other members of the family to be cared for. Parents may need to stand over a bed in the middle of the night where a fever-ridden child is lying and looking up to mommy or daddy to do something. I can remember sitting by our children during the night and rubbing legs as growing pains were occurring.  

         When a child starts to school, mom and dad are challenged to use social skills to help the child make the right friends. Parents must get along with other parents as well as the child’s teachers.  There is still a great deal of physical energy required, but at least mom and dad get to sleep through the nigh most of the time. Mental abilities are challenged as parents help children with homework that often involves new methods of doing things.

         As the child progresses into the tweens and teens, mom and dad discover that the sweet little baby that they thought would be perfect is not so perfect.  Now, as never before, parents must rely on their spiritual strength to work with the child.  Disappointments seem to come all too quickly as parents discover that the child does not think exactly as the parents do about certain things. “Who is this child?” they often wonder.  “Is this the same sweet baby we fed and diapered in the middle of the night?”

         When the child becomes an adult, parents are still parenting often from afar.  We can’t “boss” anymore.  We simply make suggestions for consideration.  Even though we have “been there and done that”, our adult children may need to discover the truth for themselves.

         Yes, parenting is not easy.  I think of the old pioneer parents who often buried several children at one time after the children had suffered with smallpox or another deadly disease. I’m sure that many must have wondered, “Is it worth it?” 

Parenting does, in spite of its many challenges, have many rewards.  As I watched our children step up and take responsibility at the death of our second son, I was comforted to see them in action.  I overheard our daughter say, “My two children are the best thing that ever happened to me!” It definitely is worth all the heartaches and effort involved when we see that our children have become responsible citizens who truly love their mom and dad, each other, and their families.

A Great Tool

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come;Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… (Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a Child…

A Great Tool

We all like good tools that will help us get our tasks accomplished.  Some  of the latest and best tools to be invented, in my opinion, include the computer, cell phone, and the technology that comes with them.  However, just like any other tool, they must be used appropriately or they can cause harm.

I don’t think there are very many people who would give a toddler a hammer and let them use it any way wanted.  How about a chain saw, or even a weed trimmer or lawn mower?  Would we just hand them to children and walk away?  Yet, isn’t that what many are doing when they buy their children a cell phone?  As with any tool, children need to be trained to use technology properly.

Just as there are certain things a hammer is to be used for, the same applies to a cell phone or computer.  Just as a child should not be allowed to go around beating on good furniture with a hammer, neither should a child be allowed to do everything desired with technology.  Definite rules need to be used with children and technology. 

“But you can’t watch a child every minute!” many would say.  Well, if rules are laid down and the child cannot be trusted to follow those rules, there is an easy solution.  Simply take the cell phone away or disconnect the computer until the child can be trusted and DON’T GIVE IN!  

It is helpful to sit down with children and go over rules as soon as the computer or phone is received.  The rules should be written down and placed on the refrigerator or other easily observed place.  It would be even more helpful for the child to sign a written paper swearing to obey those rules before the phone is purchased.  

Just as with any tool, proper usage is necessary.  Personally, I am very happy to have the technology.  It can make life much easier if properly used.  I’m afraid too many parents are guilty of waiting until a child does something wrong and then saying, “You shouldn’t have done that!”  Every child is inquisitive and will want to examine possibilities.  It isn’t fair to expect a child to automatically know what should or should not be done without being taught.

Let’s teach our children to use this wonderful tool the proper way!