Tag Archives: raising kids

Helping Children Learn to Plan

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristiansauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children Learn to Plan

Luke 14:28  “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower.  Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”

         It has been said that there are three kinds of people.  There are those who make things happen, those who let things happen, and those who wonder what happened!

         If we want our children to grow up and stay out of the last two categories, we need to help them learn how to plan.  Getting ready for school to start is a great time to work with children to help them learn to plan for their needs for the coming school year.

         Many churches have backpack ministries.  If this is the case, it is still a good idea to have the children figure the cost of items provided.  Also, the child should write a thank you note to the organization who provided the gifts.  However, much learning can take place when a child helps with the planning and purchasing.

         A good starting place with children who are able to read, write, and do some math is to simply have the child sit down with pencil and paper and make a list of everything he/she can think of that will be needed for school.  When the child thinks his list is complete, sit down with the child and divide the list into needs and wants.  Explain that a certain amount of money will be available and that needs must be met before wants can be addressed. Some items may need to be added or subtracted from the list according to the parent’s choice.  It is possible that there are items left from sisters or brothers or the previous year that can be used to save money.  Such things as scissors can be used year after year.  However, there is a real value in children having some new items to start school.  It is a great feeling for a child to go to school with a new box of crayons, a new pencil, and a new tablet or notebook and at least one new outfit of clothing.  

         After the lists have been decided upon, give the child several flyers containing ads with prices. We all get those almost daily in our mailboxes.  Ask the child to look through the flyers and check on prices of the items on the lists; then, write the prices beside the items listed.  It is good if flyers are available from several places to enable the child to compare prices and find the lowest ones.  Since there will be several items, allow the child to use a calculator to add the prices to get a total. 

         Now it is time to do the actual purchasing.  Undoubtedly, there will need to be some changes made when the store has sold out of certain items, etc.  However, guard against allowing the child to do impulse buying.  Take time to discuss the pros and cons of purchases that must be changed from the original plan.  

         After the items have been obtained, plan for a place to do homework in the home.  Help the child decide the best time and place to do homework.  Storage places for books, homework, or other school items need to be decided.  Doing so now will prevent having those items thrown helter-skelter all around the house and the child not being able to find them when needed.

         Older children can be given an allotted amount of money and be allowed to make their own purchases.  They will then have to decide how best to use that money.  If they get to keep what they don’t use, you can be sure they will try to find the best bargains.  Younger children need more help, of course.  Parents may need to do the writing and calculating for them.

         It wouldn’t hurt to mention the length of time that mom and dad have to work on the job to pay for the needs for the children. (In a nice way, of course, so the children don’t feel guilty.) Doing so will help the children to have a realistic concept of the value of purchases and they will probably be more inclined to take care of those things.  

         The process of planning just described will enhance reading skills, writing skills, and math skills.  Children will have a better idea of the value of money and the things it can purchase.  They will have an exercise in critical thinking and with this process repeated enough times, they will grow up making things happen, not just letting things happen, or wondering what happened.   

Teens Need to Learn About Cooking

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children,Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Teens Need to Learn about Cooking

         Summer is a good time to let teens into the kitchen to learn how to use some of the appliances and prepare food.  Most schools no longer offer a home economics class and it is left to the family and individual to make sure teens have the basics needed to care for their future families. True, we can buy much food already prepared.  However, there are certain basics all should know about working in the kitchen.  

         All children can do something in the kitchen, but teens, especially, need to spend enough time there to learn about safety, measuring ingredients properly, and food preparation.

         What should a teen learn about safety?  They should learn not to let electricity and water come together.  Appliances need to be plugged in and unplugged with dry hands.  Knives should be used properly.  Cutting should always be done away from the body and not toward it.  Dull knives can be just as dangerous, or more so, than sharp knives.  Utensils and hands should be kept away from beaters or blades.  Knowledge of the fact that sugar in cooking makes a hotter temperature can prevent many burns.

         Although students learn about measurements in school, they need the practice of using that knowledge in cooking.  Their understanding depends on usage of the facts.  Teens need to learn that filled measuring cups and measuring spoons need to be leveled across the top with a flat blade for accuracy.  Doing this as a teen gives them the idea of amounts so that when they are older, they will be able to “eyeball” amounts in certain recipes.

         Here is a recipe that most teens really like.  It is one where the sugar mixture will get very hot, so a deep pan and long handled stirring spoon should be used to keep spatters from burning the hands. 

No Bake Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cookies (Boiled)

2 c. sugar (If you mix the cocoa and sugar together first, it is easier to get the lumps out of the cocoa.)

½ c. milk

1 stick butter

3-4 rounded Tbsp. cocoa

1/2 c. peanut butter

2 ½ to 3 c. quick-cooking oats

1 to 2 tsp. vanilla

½ to 1 c. chopped nuts (May substitute coconut for nuts.)

Boil sugar, milk, butter and cocoa for 1 to 1 ½ minutes; start timing after mixture reaches a full rolling boil. Stir occasionally until mixture comes to a boil; then, stir constantly while boiling. Remove from heat.  Add peanut butter and vanilla; stir to melt.  Add oatmeal. Add nuts and coconut, if desired.  Beat until blended; then, drop on waxed paper or aluminum foil. Work quickly so mixture won’t get firm before you finish.  (If cookies are runny, they were not cooked long enough.  If they get hard and crumbly, they were cooked too long.)

Don’t forget to clean up the kitchen.  Don’t leave it for mom to do!

Children and Bad Habits

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children and Bad Habits

       Parents do a great deal of fretting about the bad habits of their children.  What child at some time or another has not displayed a habit that parents wish could be broken?  There are a few things that may help parents as they attempt to work with their children’s habits.

         Children need to know how easily it is to form a bad habit.  They must be able to recognize when a bad habit has been formed, and they may need help in breaking that habit.

         One exercise to help children realize how easily it is to form a bad habit uses a few pieces of string. (Sewing thread or sticks may also be used.) Give the child one piece of string and ask the child to break it.  Next, give the child two pieces of string and ask the child to break them.  Continue adding another piece of string until the child is no longer able to break the string.  Explain that when we do something one time, it is easy to not repeat that action, but the more we do it, the harder it is to stop the activity until finally it is almost impossible.  This gives a child a basic idea of how habits are formed.  At the same time this exercise is done, it would be wise to point out the bad habits that should be avoided and their consequences. 

         Many children are unaware that they have formed a bad habit. They don’t realize what they are doing, nor do they realize how that habit might be offending others. One example might be a child who constantly interrupts when someone else is talking. In such a case, the child will need to be told that what is being done is very annoying to others and is a bad manner.  Telling a child is the first step, but it is hardly ever the last step to conquering the habit. It helps to use a piece of paper and a pencil and ask the child to keep tally of how many times the action is done.  Each time the child interrupts, the child must make a mark on the piece of paper.  After a period of time, ask the child to count the marks.  This is a painful realization of truth.  It is impossible to dispute the fact that the bad habit is there!  

         One activity that often helps a child overcome a bad habit is to give the child a certain number of pennies and ask the child to give one back to you each time the action is done.  Set a length of time for the “game” such as a half day or a day. The child is allowed to keep the pennies that remain after the time set.  Just as it takes about seven times for a child to start forming a habit, it will possibly take seven or more times of this activity to break the habit. It usually isn’t the amount of money involved as much as the challenge to the child to keep all of the pennies.  As with all learning, consistency is absolutely necessary.  If these activities are all done, and then the parent slips and lets the child go back to the old habit, much effort is lost.

         Breaking bad habits of children can result in a much happier family.  Tolerating a child who consistently bothers others is stressful.  It not only bothers people around the child, but without realizing it, those same people are having ill feelings toward the child that the child senses.  When a child is well-behaved, that child receives approval from others.  This is a real boost to self-confidence in any child.  The child also gains confidence in knowing he/she is able to overcome a trait.     

Children Benefit from Chores

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….(Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children Benefit from Chores

         Many parents and grandparents search for ways to “keep kids busy” during the summer.  Often the insinuation is that children must constantly be entertained and kept happy and having fun.  Often overlooked is the value of having children do chores for at least a few hours each day.  If a study were done of adults who did chores when young as opposed to adults who did not do chores when young, I feel confident that the more successful adults are those who had regular chores for which they were responsible as a child.

Often adults think it is much easier to do something themselves than to take the time to help a child learn to do it.  This probably is true in the short term, but once a child has learned to do a chore correctly, that child can be a great deal of help.  However, the real benefits are for the child rather than for the adult.  The list is endless.  Here are a few benefits:

  • There is no way for a child to develop self-esteem or self-worth without actually being of worth or value.  When a child does a task well, that child can honestly feel good about having done something of value.
  • Children learn proper procedures for caring for belongings.
  • Children learn about the effort that goes into making or growing something.  This leads to greater appreciation of the effort others make on their behalf for the things they enjoy.
  • Children get exercise when doing physical tasks.  A lack of exercise can lead to depression. Physical exercise creates endorphins that fight depression.
  • Vocabulary is increased as children learn the names of tools and cleaning agents and words used in giving instructions.
  • Children learn that nothing in life is truly free.  We each must work to obtain and care for wants and necessities.
  • Self-discipline is learned in tasks that may not be the most pleasant and yet must be completed.  This self-discipline leads to perseverance.
  • Chores keep a child busy doing positive things when the time might otherwise be used doing things that may be harmful.
  • When a child learns the proper care of his/her belongings, that child will have more respect for the belongings of others.
  • Chores connected to gardening or the out-of-doors help children learn the names of plants and some principles they will later study in science classes dealing with botany.
  • Chores related to the care of animals help children learn compassion and understanding that carries over in their relationships with people.
  • Children learn to listen and follow instructions—a necessity for job success as an adult.

The list could go on and on.  The benefits listed here are enough to justify adults taking the time to teach children how to do chores and to require that they be done.  During the school year, children are so busy with school and homework that it is difficult to have children do very many chores. Summer is the best time for parents to concentrate on teaching those things that children need to know to care for their own home in the future.  The parent who does not take advantage of this time is missing a real opportunity to shape a child.

How Can We Prepare Children for Future America?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

How Can We Prepare Children for Future America?

         Anyone who keeps up with the news is aware of the fact that our country is having a great many problems.  It is obvious that lifestyles will need to change in the future as our country faces debt at historical levels.  The figures do not lie.  There is no way that the debt can be paid off in the few years remaining until our children reach adulthood.  Wise parents will do all they can now to prepare their children to cope with what they will have to face when they become adults.

         What can parents do to prepare their children for the America of the future?  There are three things that children need to learn that will greatly help no matter what the future holds.  Children need to learn to distinguish necessities from things they only want and think would be nice to have.  They need to learn to be self-sufficient, and they need to learn to be thrifty.

         Ask almost any person to give up their cell phone and they will tell you, “Oh, no!  I have to have my cell phone!”  Actually, mankind has gone many centuries without a cell phone.  Although they are nice to have, they are not a necessity.  This is only one example of people not being able to distinguish needs from wants. This transfers to our children.  For years we have gone in debt as a country, and in our households, thinking things were necessary when they were not.  Romans 13:8 clearly says “Owe no man anything, but to love one another.”  We have winked at that scripture in order to satisfy our wants for self pleasure and convenience.  

         If we don’t have the money to buy something, we should do without it.  I can remember that my dad would not buy a new car until he could pay cash for it.  He would take a load of cattle to market and combine his earnings with savings in order to buy a new vehicle.  How times have changed!  Children want to borrow ahead on their allowance and often we give in.  Why?  We give in because we do the same thing when we buy things we cannot afford.  We have the mistaken idea that to let children have pleasure is to show love.  This is far from the truth.  Real love has to be tough in order to teach correctness of behavior.

         Go to almost any home in America, poverty level included, and you will see broken toys or toys that children seldom touch.  It is not uncommon to see toys left in the yard getting ruined. Undoubtedly, at one time, someone thought it was really necessary to get those toys for the children. Many toys break almost before a child has a chance to play with them.  Money should not be wasted in this way.  Also, money should not be wasted on junk food that does harm to children.  We have many, many people in our country who have diabetes.  Some soda  has at least 10 teaspoons of sugar in one serving.  The larger bottles have 2 ½ servings, meaning that approximately 25 teaspoons of sugar may be in a large bottle of soda.  We are ruining the health of ourselves and our children, as well as wasting our money, when we allow them to have too much soda.

         If we can teach our children the difference between wants and needs, to be thrifty, and to be self-sufficient, we will have gone a long way in preparing our children to live in future America.

Experience is the Best Teacher

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Experience is the Best Teacher

       One of the best things that parents can do for their children is to give them a variety of experiences.  There are many benefits in doing so.  Giving a child experiences in various areas increases a child’s understanding of the world around him/her.  It also increases a child’s vocabulary resulting in greater comprehension in reading.  Of course, it is important to choose the right kind of experiences.  

         When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we had a little boy who had many social problems.  He could do practically nothing in school.  He was frightened and kept running away from the dormitory and school.  He was sent to Phoenix to see a psychiatrist.  The problem was that the boy had lived with his deaf grandmother most of his life and spent most of his time herding sheep.  He had no one to talk to and no experiences other than sheep-herding.  This is an extreme example of a child who needed experiences.  He was frightened because he knew nothing about other children or the world around him.  He was not retarded mentally.  He seemed to catch on quickly once we started working with him and allowing him to play with the toys we had purchased for the children.  

The more experiences a child has, the greater understanding the child obtains of the world. The child develops a greater understanding of the emotions of people and is better able to fit into society. S/he also observes job requirements of various jobs and will be more able to be self-supporting in adulthood.

         Every new experience introduces new vocabulary to a child.  We tend to block out the things we don’t understand and “latch on” to the things that are familiar to us.  Many times students in my GED classes will tell me, “I have never heard that word before!”  In actuality, it may be a word that is commonly used in conversations.  They had simply blocked it out because they didn’t understand it.  When a child has many experiences, the vocabulary obtained from those experiences becomes familiar and is no longer blocked out.  The child then not only has a better understanding of what is read, but also better understands conversations that are going on all the time.  

What kind of experiences can we give our children?  Visiting National Parks is perhaps one of the best.  Right now, Civil War reenactments are taking place at some parks. National Parks are set aside because of their benefits to us.  When our children were young, my husband had a habit of stopping at roadside historical monuments when we traveled.  At home, simple projects around the house add to a child’s knowledge.  When dad teaches a child to repair something, that child is learning the names of tools, etc.  Cooking and sewing are good experiences for children. Even refinishing furniture and cleaning are good for children. 

         Summer is the perfect time to give children good experiences that will increase their vocabulary and help them understand the world around them. It would be good to take advantage of this opportunity.

A Good Dad Teaches His Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Good Dad Teaches His Children

       The father is supposed to be the head of his household and able to control his children.  To father a child brings a large amount of responsibility, but that responsibility can be very pleasant if it becomes a way of life.  A dad who really cares for his children will try to teach them what they need to know to live a productive life.  What should a father teach?  When should a father teach?  How should a father teach?

         Dads need to teach children right from wrong.  They need to teach their children the fundamentals necessary to get along in life.  They need to teach the dangers and pitfalls.  They need to teach their children how to do basic things such as making repairs around the home, knowing how to care for a car, knowing how to take care of a yard.  There are basic things like reading, writing, and math that are not totally the responsibility of the school to teach.  Dad needs to make sure their children are able to cope with those things that will inevitably come their way. They need to teach children how to have compassion and do things to help others.  He needs to teach them to respect the parents, others, and self.

         One might say, “I’m too busy putting food on the table to take the time to teach my children.”  We usually find the time to do what we want to do.  If dads really want to teach their children, they will find a way.  When children are with their dads, dads need to be aware of opportunities to teach their children.  Love finds a way.  I can remember fondly when my dad would take me on his lap before I was old enough to start to school, take his railroad watch out of his bib overalls, and teach me to tell time.  This was after he had worked in the field all day when he would sit down for a few minutes before he would go milk our 20-25 cows.  He wanted his children to sit on his lap and “hug his neck”.  He would talk to us about any number of things at that time.  As we tagged along after him, helping with whatever we were able to do, he would explain what he was doing and why he was doing it.  He would pick a blade of grass and show it to us as he studied all the little lines and “hairs” on it, and then he would say, “Look at that!  That’s better artwork than any painting.  Only God can do that!”  Dads are constant teachers whether they are aware of it or not.  They are teachers all the time as long as they are in contact with their children.

         How do dads teach?  They mostly teach by example.  They also talk to their children about important things.  They demonstrate how things are to be done.  It is important that dads have a family time once each week to use Scripture and explain it to the children.  Dads teach thankfulness when they pray before eating at each meal.  Dads teach in every word they say, whether they are good words or bad.  When dads disrespect their wives, they are teaching their children not to respect their mother.  When dads are patient and loving, they are teaching their children to be the same way. When dads put up with things that they really don’t like, they are teaching their children to be longsuffering and kind to others.  When dads criticize other people, they are teaching their children to condemn others.

         Studies show that in spite of any training we may receive, we tend to raise our children as we were raised.  We need to do all we can to set a good example for our children so they will know how to raise their children.  Our country needs strong dads.  Our children need strong dads who will teach them truth.  God has commanded dads to be the spiritual leaders of their homes.  If the will is there, dads will teach their children what they need to know in ways they can understand all the time.

A Good Dad Protects His Family

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Good Dad Protects His Family

         One of the major roles assigned to fathers is family protection.  In days gone by, a dad would keep a gun by the door to protect his family against wild animals or anything that might be a harmful threat to his wife and children.  Although dads no longer need to protect their families from wild animals, there are many other threats to be dealt with.  In fact, it may have been easier to protect his family from the threats of yesteryear than the threats of today. Dads need to protect their families from physical, mental, social, and spiritual harm.  

         Today’s threats to physically harm a family come in the form of alcohol, drugs, poor health habits, or safety from storms.  Dads need to keep their eyes wide open for any evidence of threats in these areas.  When it comes to substance abuse, the best defense is to prevent the use of harmful items in the first place.  It is much more difficult once their use has started to change a child’s habits.  If a man’s home is his castle, then the man should make sure that his castle does not contain anything harmful to his family.  Social drinking in homes has led to much alcohol abuse.   Naturally, the children think that if dad and mom drink, it is alright for them to drink alcoholic beverages. In addition to protection from harmful drugs or alcohol, dads need to make sure that there is a tornado shelter or safe place to go in storms for his family.

         Mental protection of children involves making sure that children are developing the right attitude toward moral behavior.  It also involves making sure their children are getting a good education at school.  Dads need to be involved in school activities.  Some TV programs need to be restricted.  A child can’t fill his/her mind with garbage and have good thoughts.  Certain music should be prohibited as well as certain posters or art work in a child’s room.  Dads need to be aware of the child’s interests.  This may mean going into a child’s room and checking what is there.  Teens often hide behind the “privacy” right.  There should be some right to privacy but not if it involves wrongdoing by the child.  Suspicion of such requires investigation.  

         Dads need to know about their children’s friends.  It is best to help children make the right kind of friends rather than wait until the wrong kind is selected and try to remedy it.  Either way, children should be protected from the influence of friends who would lead them to do wrong.  Children should not be allowed to go places like some rock concerts and some movies. Dads need to teach children to show respect to all people, including their mother and teachers. Children need to learn good manners such as saying “excuse me”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, and “please”.  

         It is dad’s job to be the spiritual leader of the family.  He should make sure the family is in church every Sunday.  His job in the other four areas will be much easier if he fulfills this duty first.  Good friends can be found at church.  Church provides a safe place for making friends and learning proper behavior.  Ideally, every father should lead a family devotional time each week at home to reinforce the spiritual truths learned at church. As children learn the power of prayer, they find the greatest protection of all.  Dads would be wise to tap into this source of protection.

         Dads have a daunting task when it comes to protecting the family.  As Father’s Day approaches, let’s try to think of ways we can support the dads we know as they try to accomplish this task!

A Great Tool

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by Pat Lamb

Author of: Let the Children Come;Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… (Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a Child…

A Great Tool

We all like good tools that will help us get our tasks accomplished.  Some  of the latest and best tools to be invented, in my opinion, include the computer, cell phone, and the technology that comes with them.  However, just like any other tool, they must be used appropriately or they can cause harm.

I don’t think there are very many people who would give a toddler a hammer and let them use it any way wanted.  How about a chain saw, or even a weed trimmer or lawn mower?  Would we just hand them to children and walk away?  Yet, isn’t that what many are doing when they buy their children a cell phone?  As with any tool, children need to be trained to use technology properly.

Just as there are certain things a hammer is to be used for, the same applies to a cell phone or computer.  Just as a child should not be allowed to go around beating on good furniture with a hammer, neither should a child be allowed to do everything desired with technology.  Definite rules need to be used with children and technology. 

“But you can’t watch a child every minute!” many would say.  Well, if rules are laid down and the child cannot be trusted to follow those rules, there is an easy solution.  Simply take the cell phone away or disconnect the computer until the child can be trusted and DON’T GIVE IN!  

It is helpful to sit down with children and go over rules as soon as the computer or phone is received.  The rules should be written down and placed on the refrigerator or other easily observed place.  It would be even more helpful for the child to sign a written paper swearing to obey those rules before the phone is purchased.  

Just as with any tool, proper usage is necessary.  Personally, I am very happy to have the technology.  It can make life much easier if properly used.  I’m afraid too many parents are guilty of waiting until a child does something wrong and then saying, “You shouldn’t have done that!”  Every child is inquisitive and will want to examine possibilities.  It isn’t fair to expect a child to automatically know what should or should not be done without being taught.

Let’s teach our children to use this wonderful tool the proper way!

What Can We Reasonably Expect from Children?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

What Can We Reasonably Expect from Children?

         It seems that there is a certain belief permeating society that we should not do anything to children to make them feel badly.  Many have come to believe that so simple a thing as making a child sit still is not good for the child. Has anyone ever really known of a child being hurt in any way by sitting still?  Perhaps all of this fear of harming a child came about when so-called “experts” told us we were not to spank children. No matter where it began, it seems to have caused us to raise a generation or two of children who are generally undisciplined and not really happy.  

         There are certain basic things we can and should expect of children.  If we all could agree on these things, there would be more consistency in how those many adults touching a child’s life would deal with children.

         I believe that basic expectations as relating to a child’s behavior are as follows:

  • Children should act in no way that would affect others around them negatively. An individual’s freedom ends when it begins to take away the freedom of another.
  • Children should be quiet when someone else is speaking and wait until that person is finished before talking.
  • Children should listen to adults and not interrupt when they are talking.
  • Children should learn that certain places are alright for running and certain places are not appropriate for running.
  • Children should learn to speak softly and not yell at others unless they are playing outside games or if it is appropriate in a certain situation.
  • Children should not touch the belongings of others unless invited to do so.
  • Children should not ask for things that others have.  They need to learn to wait to be invited to have something.
  • Children should always knock before entering another person’s house or room.
  • Children should never open a refrigerator, drawers, or doors to rooms in another person’s home.
  • Children should remember to say “excuse me”. “I’m sorry”, “thank you”, and “please” at appropriate times.
  • Children should not touch things in stores when shopping without first checking with parents.
  • Children should learn to let others go first.  
  • Children should stand and let elderly people have their seats when there are no other seats available.  
  • Children should never talk back in a negative way to adults.  It is alright for them to disagree in a nice way, however.

These are a few things that we should expect children to do. Space does not permit listing everything. This is a good start. If we follow these suggestions, the boys and girls will not get out of hand. We need to get over the idea that children today are different.  Children are basically the same as they always were.  It is the parents and teachers who are different in their expectations and teaching of the children.  Children who “know the rules” and obey them are more secure and happier children than those who go untaught and undisciplined. Needless to say, adults are happier as well.  It is much more pleasant to be around children who can act nicely.