Tag Archives: parenting

Helping Children with Writing

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Writing

         The three r’s, reading, ‘riting’, and ‘rithmetic’, are still the most important subjects in school because everything else is based on these three things.  There are innumerable complaints that children are not learning these things as they should. Help from parents is definitely needed to make sure that children learn these basics.

         Parents can help their children learn to be good writers in a number of ways.  “Practice makes perfect” certainly applies to writing.  Practice helps with both the mechanical aspects of learning to make the letters and the mental organizing and creating of subject matter.

         Very young children who have toys requiring the use of motor skills in the hands are more apt to learn to print well using sticks and circles to make the letters of the alphabet.  Making dots for children in the shapes of the letters provides a guide to follow.  Cursive writing is not given a great deal of emphasis in today’s educational process since it is not used as much as in the past.  After all, most job applications say, “Please print,” and computers are available for composing letters and stories.  Although it is nice to know cursive writing, limited time in school demands that teachers emphasize subjects that are very practical. At one time, cursive writing was necessary for taking notes in college classes, but now students can record a lecture or download necessary information on their computers.

         When older children are required to write essays, a good way to tell them to organize the essay is the “five finger rule”.  One finger is for the introduction where three points are named.  The next finger is for a new paragraph to talk about the first item named.  The next finger represents the next paragraph to talk about the second thing and the next finger represents another paragraph to talk about the third thing.  The last finger is to summarize the essay by restating what was said in the first paragraph.  This five paragraph essay is taught to GED students to write an essay for passing the GED test. The format works in most cases and can also be used as an outline for making a speech. It is helpful to have a child draw around his/her hand on a piece of paper and label the five fingers for the five paragraphs. 

         Many students have trouble in knowing what to say when they write.  Questions help a child to expand thinking.  Taking the time to discuss a topic with a child helps give ideas.  A background of various experiences is always a big help in providing material for writing.  The Internet is a gold mine of information. 

         A friend of mine mentioned a good idea I would like to share.  She required her children to write at least a page telling why something they had done was wrong.  It was part of their learning to never do that thing again.  What a wonderful idea!  It not only gave the children practice in writing but instilled the understanding of right and wrong.  It made them think!

         Reading, writing, and speaking form what educators call the language triangle.  As a child improves in any one of the three, the other two are also enhanced.  Children need to do a lot of reading and a great deal of writing.  Unfortunately, many inventions are harmful as well as helpful. Since the copy machine was invented, children often just fill in blanks to answer a question. Good writing should be required at home and in all classes at school, not just the communications class.  If a child is allowed to get by with sloppy writing in math, science, social studies, and health classes, the one class in language is not likely to succeed in teaching good writing skills.  Consistency is important. Parents would be wise to see that their children are doing plenty of writing and doing it well.

Helping Children with Reading Homework

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Helping Children with Reading Homework

         Many parents shy away from helping their children with homework.  Often, this is because they are afraid they will not do it the way the teacher wants, or perhaps they feel inadequate.  There are six basic subject areas for which children may receive homework. They are reading, math, language, social studies, writing, and science.  In this column, I would like to make comments about helping children with reading.

         It is helpful to understand how reading is taught in schools today.  In the past there were arguments about whether sight reading or phonetic reading was best.  Actually, both are used.  There are certain words that children should simply memorize and learn by sight.  A good basis of phonics is absolutely necessary for a child to be able to decode words on his/her own.

         One of the best ways to help a child with sight words is to use flash cards.  Teachers can give parents a list of words that children should know by sight.  Children can make their own flash cards or flash cards may be purchased.  The advantage for a child to make the cards is that the child learns about spelling and writing at the same time as the words are learned. The advantage of purchasing the cards is that the print is similar to what the child sees on the pages in books.  Either or both are helpful.

         If a parent feels inadequate to teach phonics, that parent can ask the child to teach the parent. The child learns the sounds at school and usually knows them but simply needs review and practice for reinforcement.  Sometimes a parent may need to put a finger over part of a word to help the child break the word down.  Much of reading depends on the vision of a child…both the physical vision and the way the child sees the word in his/her mind.  By covering part of a word, the child can see parts of the word in the mind rather than just seeing a bunch of letters of the alphabet.

         The best thing any parent can do to help with a child’s reading is simply have that child read, read, read.  Older children can read stories to younger children or to the parents.  The children need to be familiar with the local library and have enjoyable books on hand to read at all times.  Reading at home should generally be easy reading. If a child does not know five words to a page, that book is too difficult for the child.  Reading easy books develops a feeling of self-satisfaction.  The child becomes more fluent and develops speed.  Usually, it is best to leave the difficult books for the school to handle.  Encouraging a child to read enjoyable and easy books develops a good foundation for reading in years to come.  If reading is always difficult, the child will shy away from it.

         Parents should see that books are available for children all the time.  Books should be in the car, so that when a child has to wait for a parent somewhere, the child can be reading.  Children can help make and read grocery lists.  They can read directions on packages to mom or dad when meals are being prepared.  Parents can find many opportunities to help children with reading and need not hesitate to do so.

In Their Shoes

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

In Their Shoes

 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 KJV

It is easy to become so concerned with our hustle and bustle as parents that we forget the feelings that children have as they prepare to return to school.  Yes, parents worry about clothes, supplies, schedules, etc.  But what about the children and what they are feeling and thinking??

It is good to remember when we were in school.  The worries of children are real!  Many are scared!  Just as God made no two snowflakes the same, He made no two children the same.  Some worry more than others, but there are some general concerns that most children have.  They are:

1) Will I have any friends?

2) What kind of teacher will I have?

3) Will the work be really hard?

4) Will Mom and Dad be pleased with what I do?

5) Will I have a lot of homework?

6) Will Mom and Dad yell at me if I have a bad report card?

7) Will I have a good place to sit in class?

8) What will I have for lunch?

9) What if I don’t know my multiplication tables?

10)  I’ve heard a lot of people talk about things that I don’t understand that are going on in some schools.  Am I supposed to believe everything the teacher says? 

Many children will not sleep well the night before the first day of school.  They will be tired but yet have to get up early.  Hopefully they will have a good breakfast ready, but some will say they are not hungry.  They may be too excited to eat!

When the children get on the bus or get to school, they will probably be hesitant to do anything those first few days.  (I found when I taught that they were better behaved the first week or two of school.  They are surveying the situation and hold back actions until they feel confident as to what to do.)

What about homeschooling?  Homeschooling eliminates many of these anxieties.  They already have the answers to many of the questions that worry children who go to public school.  Homeschoolers have an advantage in this area unless they have an instructor at home who is not prepared or does not understand them.  When I taught GED classes, occasionally I would get a student who had been homeschooled.  With the exception of one student, I can honestly say that it appeared they had been well educated.  I highly recommend home schooling unless there is no one who can do it adequately.  It takes time and much patience!!  There are many homeschool groups now that can make up for music, sports, art, etc.  

As the new school year begins, let’s try to put ourselves in the shoes of the children. it’s tough to parent, it is also tough to be a good kid!

Something’s Missing

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Raising children….

Something’s Missing!

The Backpack Ministry is a good thing, especially now with prices on so many things continually rising. Many children would be starting back to school without the tools they need for learning.  However, it seems that something may be missing!

It is common to hear adults talk about how today’s children seem so ungrateful for the things they get or have.  “Why I can remember in the old days that we were lucky to have shoes to wear when we went to school! We sure didn’t have all the fancy stuff kids these days have!”  True.  It was sad to see broken pencils on the floor of classrooms when I was teaching GED classes.  It was obvious that someone didn’t appreciate those pencils!  They had deliberately broken them in half and thrown them on the floor!

What’s missing?  The attitude of gratitude.  At a recent meeting I attended, the backpack ministry was mentioned.  “Do any of you know of anyone receiving a “thank you” note from a recipient of a backpack?” I asked.   Blank looks all around!  No one had.  Aren’t we missing an opportunity to teach children to be grateful when we don’t require them to write a thank you note?

Perhaps an addressed blank note could be included in the backpacks.  Parents and/or teachers could require the children to write a note of thanks to the giver.  This could go a long way in teaching gratitude and is also a good writing lesson for the children.  Children who have not yet learned to write could draw a picture and have someone else write the words “thank you”.  

It would seem we miss many opportunities to teach children to be grateful.  My husband and I started years ago giving our grandchildren $5 for each “A” they made on their report card and $4 for each “B”.  Nothing was given for “C’s” because that is expected of them and is nothing special.  At the end of the grading period, we saw a copy of their report cards and tallied up what they had earned.  We also gave money for high marks in conduct.  After all, good conduct is necessary for success in life.  The children gain pride in earning money and feel they have a job like their folks have.  It was understood that part of the money was for pleasure and part to save for future education.  We always received “thank you’s” from the children for the checks we sent.  Now that my husband has passed away, I continue the practice. I don’t shower them with constant gifts.  They can learn to budget their own money for the things they really want or feel they need.

Why are we surprised that so many children do not feel gratitude for what they receive when we don’t require them to do such a simple thing as to say, “thank you”?

Starting Kids to School on the Right Foot

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

  Start Children Back to School “on the Right Foot”

       Getting off to a bad start in anything is not a good thing, but it is especially important that children get a good start at the beginning of each school year.  The start of the year sets the pattern of behavior for the remainder of the school year and possibility for years to come.  Having a set pattern removes uncertainty and much confusion as children practice firm rules in the home.  As those rules become habits, parents are more at ease and there is less worry on the part of both the parents and the children.

         Before school starts in the fall, parents need to sit down with children and pray with them that they will do their best.  Undue pressure should not be put on any child to make straight “A’s”.  Rather, children should be encouraged to do the best they can do with the abilities God has given them.  II Timothy 2:15 is a good verse to use to impress children to do their best in school. If a child can understand that it is God who is to be pleased more than self, teachers, or parents, studying becomes more important. This gives purpose and the proper attitude toward learning. The prayer instills a sense of seriousness about the importance of behavior and effort.

         Children need routine.  They need the understanding that their behavior is acceptable, and they need to know that their parents are concerned with their well-being.

         Why not use the cell phone, that most older children have, to help them remember their routine? Our youngest son programs the cell phone of his sons to remind them of what they are to do and when they are to do it.  They can then text him when the chores are accomplished. 

A good routine for children each school night might include the following:

1) Homework is done at a certain time and place; then, it is laid out in a special spot so the child will not have to hunt for it the next morning.

2) Anything that is to be taken to school with the homework is placed along with the homework in a designated spot to prevent the scurrying around that often occurs in many homes as children frantically try to get ready to go to school.

3) Clothes to be worn the next day are laid out and ready to be put on.

4) Any chores in the home that the child is to do the next day are explained, so that the child is not surprised with added activities that may interrupt his/her plans.

     5) The alarm clock is set.

      When these things are taken care of, one of the parent’s checks in on the child at bedtime to be available to hear questions or comments from the child before hearing the prayers of the younger children.  Older children may want to say prayers in private.

When the listed items are done, the child can go to bed at ease knowing all is ready for the next day.  That child knows that the right thing has been done and will have a sense of accomplishment. Both the children and the parents will rest better knowing that all is organized. 

When children wake up in the morning and their clothes are ready for them, they don’t have the turmoil in their minds to start the day wondering what to wear.  They don’t have to worry about their homework because they know where it is.  After a good breakfast, one or both parents can give each child a big hug and kiss before he/she walks out the door along with a word of advice such as, “Learn all you can learn!” or “No matter what happens today, I will still love you tonight!”  With a final, “I love you!” the child is on the way to a good day at school.

Children Learn in Different Ways

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children Learn in Different Ways

         Studies show that we tend to raise our children the way we were raised in spite of any training in child-rearing classes we may have received along the way.  Without realizing it, we tend to think that our children will learn the same way we learned without taking into account the differences in inherited traits and personalities.  We can be much more effective in parenting (and grandparenting) if we can understand the differences in the way children learn.

         Some children tend to learn better by hearing information while others learn better by seeing or doing.  Educators classify children as auditory, visual, or kinesthetic learners.  Actually, all children learn in each of these ways, but most are dominant in one or two of the ways.

         Auditory learners learn best by having a story read to them rather than reading it for themselves.  They like to have music going most of the time and would rather have someone tell them what to do than read instructions for themselves.  They are often musically inclined and can learn better when things are set to music. Auditory learners might learn multiplication tables more easily if they are set to music.  From my experience in teaching, I think many children have not developed listening skills and do not fall into this category.  

         Visual learners learn better with charts and graphs or demonstrations.  They need to see how a word looks to decide if it is spelled right, and they will probably learn their spelling words by writing them over and over rather than just saying them over and over. They will be the individuals who take a lot of notes when they are in high school or college.  They need to be shown how to do things rather than just being told.  Charts for daily chores work well for these children.  They probably won’t just take a person’s word for something.  They will probably want to see for themselves whether something is right.  

         Kinesthetic learners like to use their bodies and do active things.  They are usually the children involved in sports.  They learn best by doing projects. They like doing play-doh projects when they are young.  When they are older, they are the ones who like the social studies and science projects that involve making things.  An example of using a kinesthetic method to teach in school might be to have students stand and turn a certain number of degrees right or left to learn about degrees in a circle.  At home, boys will love to do fix-it projects with dad.  Girls will like cooking or other projects involving action.

         Observance of children will give clues as to how they best learn.  When children constantly doodle and draw pictures, you can know they are the visual learners.  The very active children are usually the kinesthetic learners and it is important to keep them busy with projects.  Quiet children may be the auditory learners as they are listening for sounds in nature or listening to others.  No two children are the same.  Good parents and teachers will learn to observe the differences and capitalize on the way that children learn best.

Helping Children Set Goals for School

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children Set Goals for School

       If we don’t know where we are going, how do we know when we get there?  Children and adults alike need to know what they are aiming toward.  As we help our children get ready for school, we need to include a time to sit down with each child individually and help that child set realistic goals for the coming school year.

         Goals should be predicated on what is best for the child.  There should be both short-term and long-term goals.  Goals should lead to mastery of needed material for the child’s success.

         It is all too easy for a parent to impose goals on a child to accomplish what the parent wants for the child rather than what the child really needs.  All adults have dreams and aspirations for their children and these same dreams and aspirations can cause us to set goals for a child to accomplish what we want, not taking into consideration the child’s real abilities.  Good goals will take into consideration the problems a child has had and the vision of what that child can realistically accomplish.  To expect all children to be “A” students is not being realistic.  Even if a child is smart enough to be an “A” student, that child may get a teacher whose personality does not “click” with the child, the child may have times when he/she may not feel well, or a child may have a mental block or lack of background experience to provide a needed foundation for understanding of what is being taught.  In fact, grades should not be the priority of goals.  Grades should be taken out of the picture and effort should be emphasized.  If a child is developing good study habits and doing the best possible, that is the important thing.  

         Enough short-term goals should be set to encourage a child along the way.  One short-term goal might be to spend a certain length of time each school night for a week doing homework.  When that goal is reached, another short-term goal of perhaps a month of a certain amount of time spent on homework could be set. The child or parent may decide on an award for the accomplishment of each goal. The emphasis should be placed on spending time learning the material.  Even if a child says that the work is done, sitting there for a certain length of time will provide time for reflection on what is learned as well as thoughts of application of the material learned.  To finish a paper or two does not mean that a child has learned the needed facts. It is wonderful when a child learns the pleasantness of learning!  Learning opens new worlds that many children never discover in their eagerness to “get it over with”.  A long-term goal is to see that the child experiences the joy of learning.  

         Some schools have done away with grades of A, B, C, D, and F.  Some schools are experimenting with promoting children by levels.  When a child can test out of a certain level, that child moves to the next level. There are many examples of students who have made high grades who don’t know the material and vice versa.  Just to “finish homework” doesn’t meet the need of the child.  Parents, as well as teachers, need to make sure that the child knows the material.  Goals should be set to accomplish mastery of material assigned.   

         Each child is unique and one set of goals does not fit all.  As parents take the time to sit down with the child and discuss needs and goals, it would be well to listen to the child first.  Most children will be honest and surprisingly know what they need to do if given a chance.  It is the parent’s role to provide guidance and encouragement.  

Helping Children Learn to Plan

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristiansauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children Learn to Plan

Luke 14:28  “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower.  Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”

         It has been said that there are three kinds of people.  There are those who make things happen, those who let things happen, and those who wonder what happened!

         If we want our children to grow up and stay out of the last two categories, we need to help them learn how to plan.  Getting ready for school to start is a great time to work with children to help them learn to plan for their needs for the coming school year.

         Many churches have backpack ministries.  If this is the case, it is still a good idea to have the children figure the cost of items provided.  Also, the child should write a thank you note to the organization who provided the gifts.  However, much learning can take place when a child helps with the planning and purchasing.

         A good starting place with children who are able to read, write, and do some math is to simply have the child sit down with pencil and paper and make a list of everything he/she can think of that will be needed for school.  When the child thinks his list is complete, sit down with the child and divide the list into needs and wants.  Explain that a certain amount of money will be available and that needs must be met before wants can be addressed. Some items may need to be added or subtracted from the list according to the parent’s choice.  It is possible that there are items left from sisters or brothers or the previous year that can be used to save money.  Such things as scissors can be used year after year.  However, there is a real value in children having some new items to start school.  It is a great feeling for a child to go to school with a new box of crayons, a new pencil, and a new tablet or notebook and at least one new outfit of clothing.  

         After the lists have been decided upon, give the child several flyers containing ads with prices. We all get those almost daily in our mailboxes.  Ask the child to look through the flyers and check on prices of the items on the lists; then, write the prices beside the items listed.  It is good if flyers are available from several places to enable the child to compare prices and find the lowest ones.  Since there will be several items, allow the child to use a calculator to add the prices to get a total. 

         Now it is time to do the actual purchasing.  Undoubtedly, there will need to be some changes made when the store has sold out of certain items, etc.  However, guard against allowing the child to do impulse buying.  Take time to discuss the pros and cons of purchases that must be changed from the original plan.  

         After the items have been obtained, plan for a place to do homework in the home.  Help the child decide the best time and place to do homework.  Storage places for books, homework, or other school items need to be decided.  Doing so now will prevent having those items thrown helter-skelter all around the house and the child not being able to find them when needed.

         Older children can be given an allotted amount of money and be allowed to make their own purchases.  They will then have to decide how best to use that money.  If they get to keep what they don’t use, you can be sure they will try to find the best bargains.  Younger children need more help, of course.  Parents may need to do the writing and calculating for them.

         It wouldn’t hurt to mention the length of time that mom and dad have to work on the job to pay for the needs for the children. (In a nice way, of course, so the children don’t feel guilty.) Doing so will help the children to have a realistic concept of the value of purchases and they will probably be more inclined to take care of those things.  

         The process of planning just described will enhance reading skills, writing skills, and math skills.  Children will have a better idea of the value of money and the things it can purchase.  They will have an exercise in critical thinking and with this process repeated enough times, they will grow up making things happen, not just letting things happen, or wondering what happened.   

Teens Need to Learn About Cooking

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children,Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Teens Need to Learn about Cooking

         Summer is a good time to let teens into the kitchen to learn how to use some of the appliances and prepare food.  Most schools no longer offer a home economics class and it is left to the family and individual to make sure teens have the basics needed to care for their future families. True, we can buy much food already prepared.  However, there are certain basics all should know about working in the kitchen.  

         All children can do something in the kitchen, but teens, especially, need to spend enough time there to learn about safety, measuring ingredients properly, and food preparation.

         What should a teen learn about safety?  They should learn not to let electricity and water come together.  Appliances need to be plugged in and unplugged with dry hands.  Knives should be used properly.  Cutting should always be done away from the body and not toward it.  Dull knives can be just as dangerous, or more so, than sharp knives.  Utensils and hands should be kept away from beaters or blades.  Knowledge of the fact that sugar in cooking makes a hotter temperature can prevent many burns.

         Although students learn about measurements in school, they need the practice of using that knowledge in cooking.  Their understanding depends on usage of the facts.  Teens need to learn that filled measuring cups and measuring spoons need to be leveled across the top with a flat blade for accuracy.  Doing this as a teen gives them the idea of amounts so that when they are older, they will be able to “eyeball” amounts in certain recipes.

         Here is a recipe that most teens really like.  It is one where the sugar mixture will get very hot, so a deep pan and long handled stirring spoon should be used to keep spatters from burning the hands. 

No Bake Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cookies (Boiled)

2 c. sugar (If you mix the cocoa and sugar together first, it is easier to get the lumps out of the cocoa.)

½ c. milk

1 stick butter

3-4 rounded Tbsp. cocoa

1/2 c. peanut butter

2 ½ to 3 c. quick-cooking oats

1 to 2 tsp. vanilla

½ to 1 c. chopped nuts (May substitute coconut for nuts.)

Boil sugar, milk, butter and cocoa for 1 to 1 ½ minutes; start timing after mixture reaches a full rolling boil. Stir occasionally until mixture comes to a boil; then, stir constantly while boiling. Remove from heat.  Add peanut butter and vanilla; stir to melt.  Add oatmeal. Add nuts and coconut, if desired.  Beat until blended; then, drop on waxed paper or aluminum foil. Work quickly so mixture won’t get firm before you finish.  (If cookies are runny, they were not cooked long enough.  If they get hard and crumbly, they were cooked too long.)

Don’t forget to clean up the kitchen.  Don’t leave it for mom to do!

Children and Bad Habits

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Children and Bad Habits

       Parents do a great deal of fretting about the bad habits of their children.  What child at some time or another has not displayed a habit that parents wish could be broken?  There are a few things that may help parents as they attempt to work with their children’s habits.

         Children need to know how easily it is to form a bad habit.  They must be able to recognize when a bad habit has been formed, and they may need help in breaking that habit.

         One exercise to help children realize how easily it is to form a bad habit uses a few pieces of string. (Sewing thread or sticks may also be used.) Give the child one piece of string and ask the child to break it.  Next, give the child two pieces of string and ask the child to break them.  Continue adding another piece of string until the child is no longer able to break the string.  Explain that when we do something one time, it is easy to not repeat that action, but the more we do it, the harder it is to stop the activity until finally it is almost impossible.  This gives a child a basic idea of how habits are formed.  At the same time this exercise is done, it would be wise to point out the bad habits that should be avoided and their consequences. 

         Many children are unaware that they have formed a bad habit. They don’t realize what they are doing, nor do they realize how that habit might be offending others. One example might be a child who constantly interrupts when someone else is talking. In such a case, the child will need to be told that what is being done is very annoying to others and is a bad manner.  Telling a child is the first step, but it is hardly ever the last step to conquering the habit. It helps to use a piece of paper and a pencil and ask the child to keep tally of how many times the action is done.  Each time the child interrupts, the child must make a mark on the piece of paper.  After a period of time, ask the child to count the marks.  This is a painful realization of truth.  It is impossible to dispute the fact that the bad habit is there!  

         One activity that often helps a child overcome a bad habit is to give the child a certain number of pennies and ask the child to give one back to you each time the action is done.  Set a length of time for the “game” such as a half day or a day. The child is allowed to keep the pennies that remain after the time set.  Just as it takes about seven times for a child to start forming a habit, it will possibly take seven or more times of this activity to break the habit. It usually isn’t the amount of money involved as much as the challenge to the child to keep all of the pennies.  As with all learning, consistency is absolutely necessary.  If these activities are all done, and then the parent slips and lets the child go back to the old habit, much effort is lost.

         Breaking bad habits of children can result in a much happier family.  Tolerating a child who consistently bothers others is stressful.  It not only bothers people around the child, but without realizing it, those same people are having ill feelings toward the child that the child senses.  When a child is well-behaved, that child receives approval from others.  This is a real boost to self-confidence in any child.  The child also gains confidence in knowing he/she is able to overcome a trait.