Tag Archives: gift-giving

Children Need Help with Gift Giving

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Train up a child…

 

Children Need Help with Gift Giving

 

There is so very much emphasis on the excitement of children at Christmastime and the need to make sure that children get the things they desire to make them happy.  In fact, some have even said that Christmas is for children.  Truth is, Christmas is a time to recognize the birth of our Savior and it is for everyone, but we can’t help but want to make sure that children enjoy this very special time.

It is more important for children to experience the joy of giving than it is for them to enjoy the experience of getting, and the giving can make them happier than the receiving.  Some may think that this is not possible, but if we look closely with our mind’s eye, we can see that we quite often remember the gifts we gave more than the gifts we received.  It is the same with children.  Children, however, need help in their planning and giving.  This requires time, patience, and resourcefulness.

We need to take the time to help children make a gift list. This list should include parents, teachers, grandparents, and other special people in their lives.  It takes time, also, to help the children discover resources they have available such as money or materials for making gifts.  After this is done, we help the children make or purchase gifts.

It is not easy to be patient with children when we, ourselves, are so busy trying to prepare gifts for others. Time spent making a plaster of Paris handprint, a jar of brownie mix, or a jar of soup mix takes a little time that we may not feel we have available.  Making such gifts, however, provides a time of bonding and learning and is well worth the time involved. Many ideas are available on the Internet, and just looking up those ideas is a learning experience for children.

Children learn to be resourceful and at the same time are learning to manage their money as they work to provide gifts for the ones they love.  It is difficult for children to find anything to purchase with the limited funds they have. It is nice when adults help out with this problem.  Some have provided a “Holiday Store” for children.  The children go to the store with an adult and a list of names for whom they will purchase gifts.  The list also indicates the amount of money the child has to spend.  Items that have been provided by adults are available in the store, and they are priced very low so that the children can afford them. Some items are only twenty-five cents. Those on hand who volunteer to work in the store help the children count and figure how much money each thing costs and how much change they will get in return.

Who among us does not have some treasure from the past given to us by our children?  This year I hung, once again, a wreath made of plastic bags by our youngest son when he was in elementary school.  It provides another year of remembering his love for me.  I still have ornaments made of play-doh that go on the Christmas tree. They are still feeling the joy of giving as they see their mom still being happy at having received those gifts.   Christmas truly is a time to remember that it is better to give than to receive.

Give Your Children the Best Gift

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Train up a child…

 

Give your Children the Best Gift

 

What is the best gift you can give your children?  Many experts agree that the best thing that parents and grandparents can give children is their time.  Yet, as the holiday season approaches, we find ourselves wanting more time, and we find it more difficult to give the time to children that they need.

How can we give more time to children, and what are the benefits of doing so?

One of the easiest ways to give more time to children is to include them in the activities we do. The benefits of giving more time are many.  Three of those benefits are bonding, learning more about our children, and giving the children a feeling of worth.

As we include children in activities, they relax and open up in more ways than they normally would. Children most often say and do the things that they know their parents expect of them.  This prevents adults from knowing what they are really thinking and feeling.  When they relax in activities, they drop their guard and we find out more about them. We are often surprised to find that our children may be thinking and feeling something entirely different from what we had thought.  This gives us clues as to their needs in guidance as they grow.

As children assist in activities such as decorating, baking, making gifts, shopping, or other holiday happenings, they bond with adults in achieving the common goal of making others happy. While doing so, they can discuss how they think the recipient will respond, and they feel happy about achieving something good with their parents. Little faces light up in anticipation of the happiness they are creating, and a special closeness is achieved as feelings of accomplishment are shared.

When parents take time to include children in activities, the children feel that their parents think their ideas are valuable.  They develop a feeling of worth because mom or dad wanted them to help. The opposite is true when they are pushed aside.  Children then feel that their ideas and help are not wanted or needed.  They look to find their own activities aside from parents. Children have an inner desire to feel that they are valuable to someone.  No toy or game purchased for a child can make up for that feeling.

It is not difficult to include children in activities.  The key is to find something within the child’s ability.  There is always something they can do if it is no more than holding a finger on the ribbon while a bow is being tied.  For Thanksgiving Dinner, children can help set the table and participate in ways to help in preparation of food.  The quality of the dish is not as important as the quality of child we are raising.

There is nothing we can buy or do for our children that is any more important than spending time with them.

 

A Memorable Christmas Eve

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Train up a child…

 

A Memorable Christmas Eve

 

In many homes Christmas Eve finds family members frantically scampering around wrapping last minute gifts, cooking something scrumptious for Christmas dinner the next day, or even arguing about things that are not going according to the “picture-perfect” home. Some have the custom of opening one gift or all gifts on Christmas Eve. Where are the thoughts about the one whose birthday we are celebrating??

What good things will children remember about Christmas Eve? They will remember traditions, smells, lights, gentle words spoken, or things that happen out of the ordinary.

Wise parents will plan some time on Christmas Eve for traditions. Many older folks will remember going to the local church or school for a Christmas program on Christmas Eve and watching children sing songs or read poems about Jesus and then receiving gifts and a big bag of candy with an orange and apple in it. Now, many churches have a candlelight communion or midnight mass on Christmas Eve. It is a wonderful tradition to spend this time to remember the reason for the season.

Quite often parents are so exhausted with last minute details that they can’t wait to get to bed. The children usually do not feel this way and are wide awake in anticipation of Santa. As long as the children know that Santa is a game we play at Christmas, this is not a bad thing. We should never lie to our children, but simply pretend with them. When our children and grandchildren were still in the Santa stage, someone would sneak outside and ring some sleigh bells beneath their bedroom windows. At our house, Santa always liked raisin pie. On one occasion our grandson grabbed a whole raisin pie and went running outside to give it to Santa. We still laugh about that time. That was an “out of the ordinary” time to remember.

Lights are so nice at Christmas, the time when days are the shortest. Children will remember lots of lights. Some children like to bring sleeping bags and sleep around the Christmas tree, so they can enjoy going to sleep with the pretty lights. They will try to see who can stay awake the longest to see their dad or mom sneak in and fill the stockings. Milk and cookies (at our house it was milk and raisin pie) will be out for Santa. One “out of the ordinary” thing we remember was the year our children pretended to be asleep and waited for their stockings to be filled; then, they put up stockings for mom and dad and filled them! We were certainly surprised the next morning to find that we had stockings as well as the children. What a nice memory!

Each family creates its own traditions and memories on Christmas Eve. In keeping with the spirit of the season, the evening should always be pleasant and include a time for remembering the birth of Christ that made it all possible. Reading the Christmas story from the second chapter of the book of Luke in the Bible should be read on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. The overall goal is to leave pleasant memories with the children with the teaching of the true meaning of Christmas.

Children can Learn to Organize

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Train up a child…

 

Children can learn to Organize

 

The Christmas season is a good time to teach children a lesson about organizing. Even though they are more excited than usual at this time, they can still learn to take on some responsibilities to make Christmas a more pleasant time for themselves and others.

A good thing to keep in mind when parenting is to always have children take on the responsibilities for caring for themselves as they are able to do so. Adults often mistakenly think they are helping their children by doing everything for them. Children learn responsibility and become independent by caring for their own needs. School children have people to whom they want to give a gift at Christmas and can plan and organize their time and resources to take care of those gifts, to a great extent, themselves.

There is nothing better for organizing than lists. Children can make lists to examine their resources, remember the persons to whom they will give gifts, and dates for accomplishing tasks.

Most children have piggy banks and perhaps money from allowances. They can list the amount of money they have along with ways to earn more money. They may also have gifts they have received in the past that are unused that can be regifted to their friends. They can look through magazines such as “Family Fun” for ideas of gifts to make. Just thinking about resources brings an awareness to a child of the need to save their money for needed times.

Next, children should make lists of those persons to whom they want to give a gift. This list should include their teacher, Sunday School teacher, mom and dad, sisters and brothers. (Some schools request that gifts not be given to teachers, so this should be checked out before planning a gift.) After these “essential” gifts are taken care of, they can choose friends or other special people to whom they would like to give a gift.

If a gift is to be given to a teacher or church worker, dates should be written down as to programs, the last day of school before vacation, or the last event at church before Christmas. It is easy to let these times slip up and not be ready. If the family has a calendar on the refrigerator, as many families do, these dates could be posted there.

When the lists are done, the children can begin to purchase or make gifts and feel secure knowing they have all under control. Children will enjoy Christmas much more if they feel that they have been useful in planning and giving. This small lesson in organization will carry over into other areas of life and help the child to be more confident in years to come. Mom and dad will feel less pressure in knowing that the child is taking responsibility for some of the tasks to be done. When a child takes part in the planning and execution of the plans, that child builds self-esteem and learns the true meaning of giving at Christmas time.

Gift-giving Develops Empathy

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Gift-giving Develops Empathy

Christmas presents an opportunity to develop an important trait in children. As gifts are selected and presented, if children are involved in the process, they can develop the ability to feel and think as others feel and think.
Empathy, in a nutshell, is to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is very close to sympathy, but sympathy is usually thought of as feeling sad with someone. Empathy is the ability to feel many emotions with others, not just sadness.
Why is it important for children to develop empathy, and how does gift-giving help in the process?
Being able to share feelings with others affects actions. Quite often we hear of horrible atrocities of cruelty committed by individuals and we wonder how it could possibly happen. Could it be that the people committing the atrocities have never developed an ability to feel as their victim feels? I think so. They seem detached from the acts they are doing. A child who learns to feel with others is not as likely to do things to hurt others because they understand the feelings they are causing.
A child who can identify with the thoughts and feelings of others will have better relationships throughout life. They will be able to choose actions to please friends and, as adults, their spouses. They will have a better understanding of authority of teachers, parents, police, and bosses. They will develop the ability to figure out why people act as they do, and that leads to better understanding of others.
How does gift-giving help develop empathy? When parents work with children in selecting gifts, they can say such things as, “Do you think your sister would like this?” Discussion can follow as to why the person would or would not like a particular gift. Every question a parent asks stimulates thinking about the gift recipient. All of this leads to a better understanding of the other person. The giver begins to imagine self in the position of the person receiving the gift. A visual image emerges of the person for whom the gift is being selected and an analysis of that person follows. Soon, the giver is experiencing some of the same feelings mentally as they think the person receiving the gift is feeling. This is empathy!
On Christmas morning, the process is repeated when the gift is opened. The giver of the gift is watching the recipient to see a reaction. Are they pleased? Are they happy? What are they feeling? All of this leads to an even better understanding of the person and a greater empathy has been developed. As both feel happy about the gift, true empathy has been established.
Alert adults will watch for opportunities to help children develop empathy to ensure that they grow up with good relationships and actions that promote well-being of others.