by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthorcom)

Train up a Child…

A Healthy Fear

Many parents seem to try to shield their children from all fear.  “Don’t worry,” they say.  “Everything will be alright”.  Do we really know that everything will be alright?  Are we being honest with our children when we say this?  Truth is always best.

Even though parents may have good intentions, when they try to shield their children from all fear, it leaves children worried. The children probably sense that they are not being told the truth.  Children often sense what parents are feeling and wonder why their parents won’t trust them enough to share their feelings.  

Parents who fear telling the truth may not realize that it is not the facts that are most important, but rather how we share those facts.

Children are comforted more when they can trust parents to be truthful with them.  When parents softly and gently tell children about danger, and then assure them that they will do all they can to protect the children, those children find far more comfort.  To simply be put aside with “Everything’s going to be alright”, leaves a child wondering and feeling insecure.

By being truthful and honest with children, we are helping prepare them for handling difficulties in their future.  It does no favor to a child to be raised thinking that everything will be alright.  Children are better served when we teach them that there will always be challenges in life.  We need to model the right attitude and procedures for facing those challenges.  Life is not always fun.  

Giving children specific tasks in facing challenges lets them feel a part of the solution.  Being thrifty and saving are always good traits for facing any emergency.  A rule of thumb is to have savings that can maintain a family for three months.  Children can help by simply turning off lights when not needed, not wasting food, not begging for unneeded items, and practicing good health habits such as washing hands frequently.  Doing something to help gives a child comfort and helps build self-esteem.  

Panicky parents do no good for their children in modeling how to cope with challenges.  Being truthful with children in a loving and gentle way is always best.  If a child can’t trust a parent to be truthful at one time, can s/he ever trust a parent to be truthful?  Honesty is still the best policy!