Tag Archives: preparing children for success

An Easy Way to Learn

Uncategorized, , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com )

Train up a child…

An Easy Way to Learn

         I well remember my dad telling my sisters and me, “If you won’t listen, you’ll have to learn the hard way!”

         Listening to the descriptions of the experiences of those who have lived in the past is an easy way to learn.  As Memorial Day approaches, we have an opportunity to describe the experiences of those who have gone before us to help our children learn.

         What can children learn by listening to descriptions of the past?  They can learn of some things people did that worked well, some things people did that did not work well, and they can gain some inspiration to make their own lives count.

         Memorial Day is certainly a time to remember veterans who have fought for our freedom, but it is also a time to remember our relatives of the past who made significant accomplishments.  It would be well for parents to find specific stories to read or tell to children both about veterans and their own relatives.  Stories about veterans help children appreciate the freedom they enjoy.  Stories of past relatives provide roots and a feeling of self worth.  Good stories of past relatives instill a sense of pride and motivate a child to want to “measure up” to family history.

         It is a good idea to take children to a cemetery on Memorial Day and reverently walk through and observe some of the tombstones. There will undoubtedly be a few graves of people who died at a very young age.  A discussion of how some of the people may have died could include a discussion of the use of drugs and alcohol.  This lesson is far more effective than any lecture in a classroom.  The children can see for themselves that the use of drugs and alcohol is definitely something that did not work well for these individuals.  It would be well for parents to point out specific cases with which they are familiar of instances where results were not good.  For example, some of the young people may have died from car accidents where they were driving too fast.  

         One goal in raising children should be to help children decide in their own minds what is best. Telling is not teaching.  In fact, if we lecture children, they often rebel.  We want them to settle in their own minds what is right.  If they can make these decisions when they are young, when the challenging teen years come, they have already decided and do not have to doubt.  The visual image of a tombstone in the mind of a young person might well stay until the teen years and be present when that first driver’s license is issued or when temptations to use drugs or alcohol comes. 

         Children don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” if they will listen to stories of the past and base their decisions on those things that have already been tried and failed, or those things which have been tried and succeeded.  It is easier to learn by listening and seeing than to have to try everything for oneself.  

A Mother’s Love is Special

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Mother’s Love is Special

         There are many heartwarming stories demonstrating the love of a mother for her children.  Much respect is deserved by those mothers of physically or mentally challenged children for the hours of patience and loving care they give.  Mothers seem to have a special something that fathers and others don’t have.  There is no disputing that fathers play a valuable role in the upbringing of their children, but mothers have a distinct nature for nurturing her children.  Both have an irreplaceable role as God intended when he planned for man and woman to unite to bring children into the world.  At this time of the year, our thoughts turn to mom. I recall three personal observations illustrating a mother’s love.

         When my husband and I were working with the Navajo in New Mexico and Arizona, we observed the love of the mothers for their children as they reluctantly brought them to the government boarding schools to live away from home to get an education.  The vast expanse of the reservation made it impossible to have schools nearby.  To give the children an education meant that most of them had to live in a dormitory. High school students had to go off the reservation to schools as far away as Oklahoma or Utah.  Mothers would come to the campus of our school with beautiful Navajo rugs they had woven.  They wanted to sell the rugs to get some money for their children who were going away. There were many times when we watched children cling to parents and parents to children, not wanting to let go and part from each other. Knowing the necessity of an education prompted the parents to do what only the love for a child would motivate them to do…walk off and leave the child in the hands of someone else to educate. 

         On one occasion in Ramah, NM, a little girl did not want to come to school.  Her mother knew how important it was for the child’s future. I was teaching second grade at the time and the little girl was in my class.  Her mother came carrying the girl, kicking and crying, and put her in my arms. The mother spoke very little English and I spoke even less Navajo, but the language of love is universal.  I nodded to her in understanding, took the little girl in my arms and carried her into the classroom where she immediately stopped crying. I later learned from the mother’s brother that the little girl, Karen, had jumped out of the pickup on the way to school, and started to run across the field and hide, so she wouldn’t have to come to school.  Her mother had jumped out of the moving pickup right behind her, climbed over a fence and taken off after her to catch her.  Her brother was laughing about how her squaw skirt and turquoise jewelry were flying as she climbed that fence. (She wore a full 3-tiered skirt like a square dance skirt but floor length and velvet blouse…the traditional dress of the Navajo women.)  Her brother laughed when he told us that she didn’t care what the tourists thought as they drove by on the busy highway, she was going to catch Karen and get her in school!

         Another example of a mother’s love was seen in Denver when I rode with a policeman one night as a project for a class I was taking in the psychology of prejudice. Shortly after we stopped at a convenience store for coffee, we received a call that a girl had been raped at that same store.  Since another car was in the vicinity, we didn’t pursue the case.  At the end of the tour, we went to the police headquarters.  I was curious as to what happened about the rape case, so the man I had ridden with asked the dispatcher to find out.  She communicated with the police car that had been assigned to the case.  The reply came back, “Male Caucasian, 6’4” tall, approximately 250 lbs., when last seen was being pursued by victim’s mother!”

         Yes, mothers have a special love for the welfare of their children.

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains

Uncategorized, , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book) Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristiansauthor.com

Train up a child…

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains

         
         “The longest journey starts with the first step”.  How true.  This philosophy can be applied to helping children set goals.  It is important to set short-term goals as a beginning to the achievement of long-term goals.  Parents often have the tendency to set ultimatums that overwhelm children; then, children tend to give up before they get started feeling that the task is impossible to achieve.

         Nothing succeeds like success.  Success breeds success; failure breeds failure.  When a child feels successful, that child will want to continue actions that achieved that success.  When a child experiences failure, that child will not want to continue.  If we help a child set goals that are easily achievable, the child will want to set another achievable goal.  

         How does this work in real life?  Suppose you want a small child to clean his/her bedroom. Instead of telling the child to clean the room, break the chore down in steps.  Perhaps start with telling the child to make the bed.  After that is accomplished, tell the child to pick up the things on the floor.  Next, the child could do the dusting of one piece of furniture at a time. Finally, the floor needs to be vacuumed or swept. Add other tasks as needed until the room is nice and clean. When the child then receives praise for a clean room, he/she feels a sense of pride and accomplishment and will be more apt to do it next time.  In addition, the child has been taught what is involved in cleaning a room.  

         Another example might involve a child learning the multiplication tables.  Instead of simply telling the child to learn the tables, help the child set a goal of learning the 8’s by a certain time.  Next, the child might learn the 9’s, etc.  This continues until all the tables are learned.

         If a child is struggling with homework, instead of simply telling the child to do the homework, a parent might say, “After this page is done, take a little break and get a glass of water or cookie.” Plan with the child by looking at how much is left to be done and dividing it up so that the child feels accomplishment along the way.  After each part is done, the child might be allowed to do something to have a little break.

         Still another example might be used in saving money.  Discuss with the child how much money can be saved by a certain time.  Make sure a special container is available for the money even if it is simply a clean jelly jar.  After the first goal has been reached, reset the goal for a certain date to have saved a greater amount.  It is helpful if a child has an object in mind to purchase or another plan for the money.  That would be the long-range goal.  The short-range goals along the way are very helpful in motivating the child to continue saving.

         Almost any task can be broken down in parts to encourage and motivate children.  It is good to have long-range goals as well, but the short- range goals are the stepping stones along the way.

Christmas Programs are Great for Kids!

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb …(Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book)

Train up a child…

         What fun to go to a Christmas program and see the children perform!  It is almost as much fun to watch the parents and grandparents stretch and strain looking to find the child that is most important to them, and then to watch their faces light up when that child is discovered!  In their mind and eyes, that might as well be the only child up front performing, for little attention is paid to the others.  Every move of the child is watched and usually admired!

         There are many valuable things that children learn when they participate in a program such as a Christmas program.  They learn to memorize and recall information.  They learn to participate in a group, and, hopefully, they learn to get over stage fright.

         A friend of mine, who received a national award for teaching from the U.S. Department of Education, once commented that she felt that children do not do enough memorizing in school now.  Preparing to make speeches or sing songs provides an opportunity for memorization.  Memorization might be thought of as a brain exercise much as one might exercise various muscles of the body. Memorization sharpens the mind.  Depending on what material is memorized, memorization can be the storing of material in the brain that can be used throughout life. Memorization requires a child to use self-discipline and to focus.  These two qualities carry over into all areas of life.  When a child must recall the information learned to recite it before a group, the child learns that just being able to do a job half-heartedly isn’t enough.  Material must be thoroughly learned before it can be recited or mistakes will be made.  When a child learns to be thorough in a task, again this carries over into other areas of life.

         In a program presented to an audience, all program parts must fit together to make sense. Children learn that they play a vital part in a larger picture.  They learn to “fit in” and work with a team to accomplish the goal of presenting a good program.  This is a valuable component of good citizenship as over and over adults are required to work as teams at work and in projects outside of work.

         As I watch children’s programs, I envision some of those children some day standing in front of a board of directors of a company and leading discussions.  This can only be done by those who have overcome stage fright.  As children perform time and time again in programs, they learn to conquer that stage fright to prepare them to be leaders in the future.  Some will be standing before city councils, school boards, town hall meetings, etc.  In order to be effective leaders, they must be able to speak to groups.  Children’s programs help prepare them for this task.

         Bravo to those teachers in church and school who work so diligently with our children to help them give programs.  Bravo to those parents and grandparents who work at home to help children learn their parts and see that the children behave properly.  Bravo to people that no longer have children at the age to participate in programs, but who attend the programs to show their support. 

Some Children are People Smart

Uncategorized, , ,

by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Some Children are People Smart

       I recently spoke to a group of young mothers and enjoyed hearing them talk about the differences in their children.  Some were saying how hard it is to have two or three children with very different personalities.  I was reminded of the seven intelligences experts have defined.  It is thought that each person is born with preferences in three or four of these intelligences.  They are verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, bodily/kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  They are also known as word smart, numbers smart, body smart, picture smart, music smart, people smart, and self smart.

         In previous columns I have discussed all of the intelligences except the interpersonal and intrapersonal.  In this column, I will give information about the interpersonal intelligence.

         Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.  It involves good communication skills and an ability to note differences in others.  Persons with this intelligence are able to be sensitive to the moods and temperaments of those with whom they come in contact.

         We can recognize this intelligence in children when we see them constantly wanting to be around others. They seem to thrive off of contact with people and can complete tasks better if not working alone.  Also, these children often can sense weaknesses in adults and can “wiggle” their way out of assigned tasks.  They may like to argue with an adult when they sense that the adult is not really certain of the instructions being given to the child. They will know when mom or dad is in the right mood to be asked for something. Being sent to their room to be alone is real punishment for children with dominance in this intelligence.

         The person with this intelligence is a social person.  He/she likes to go to parties. The radio or TV must be on almost constantly. Adults with this intelligence like to host others in their home. They can sense motives of their children and others. They simply seem to have an innate ability to know what to do and say to get along with others and are probably “joiners” of clubs or various organizations.  

         Children with this intelligence may grow up to become administrators, teachers, personnel workers, counselors, salespersons, social workers, political leaders, doctors, or religious leaders.

         It needs to be remembered that we can have the intelligences to varying degrees and that not all characteristics fit all people.  However, knowing the general characteristics helps us to better understand our children and those around us.  Just as God made no two snowflakes exactly alike, so he made no two humans exactly alike. As we attempt to follow His command to “Love one another”, it certainly helps if we can understand those around us.

Some Children are Number Smart

Uncategorized, , , ,

Train up a child… by Pat Lamb, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Some Children are “Number Smart”

       It is common for parents and teachers to teach children believing that children will respond the same way they responded as children.  To have this mindset is to not take in consideration the differences in intelligences with which children are born.  To say that we are not the same is a “no-brainer”, yet we work with children as though they all are just like us.  

         Children are born with seven different intelligences.  They are: verbal/linguistic, mathematical/logical, musical/rhythmic, bodily/kinesthetic, visual/spatial, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Those intelligences are also known as: word smart, numbers smart, picture smart, music smart, body smart, people smart, and self smart.

         Some people just seem to have a knack for math.  These are the number smart people. Number smart persons are logical thinkers.  They can do sequential reasoning, do inductive and deductive reasoning, and do abstract reasoning.  They enjoy doing number puzzles and can perceive connections and relationships of one thing to another.  They may like to study statistics and graphs.  Children may like to play with secret codes.  They do well with “If ….then” types of reasoning. They may do better at outlining stories and classifying items.  As a small child, you may notice these number smart individuals grouping their toys by size, color, etc.  This may be a clue that in the future they will do well in math.  These logically minded children may be argumentative and continually try to prove their point. Parents become frustrated as the children try to prove them wrong. Older persons with this intelligence will like solving mysteries.  Their favorite books or movies may be mysteries.

         In my own experience, I have noticed that many of those who excel in math may have difficulty in English usage and writing.  It seems to me that many people who have the “math brain” think in black and white and expect everything to be logical.  Our English language is not logical.  There are times when one thing applies and times when it does not.  This frustrates the person who wants everything to be logical. The flip side of this is that word smart people sometimes have trouble with math because it does not have varying shades of correctness or incorrectness.  In math, only one way is right.    

         People who are number smart may end up in careers such as auditors, accountants, underwriters, scientists, statisticians, computer analysts, economists, technicians, bookkeepers, science teachers, engineers, retail buyers, physicists, bankers, math teachers, or investment brokers.  Some people from the past who were number smart include Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and George Washington Carver.      

         When we can recognize the intelligences of children and nurture those intelligences, we can steer them toward satisfying careers.  Understanding a child’s interests can create more harmony in the family.  Just because there are some who have this special interest is not to say that those who do not have this special interest cannot learn math.  Everyone needs math and in my opinion can learn math, but they may not go into careers where math is one of the most important skills. 

Parents Need to Understand the Interests of their Children

Uncategorized, , ,

Train up a child…

Parents Need to Understand the Interests of their Children

         Any parent of two or more children knows that each child is unique.  Just when you think you have caught on to what the first child is like and how to take care of that child, another comes along seemingly entirely different. It keeps us on our toes to try to understand and meet the needs of each child.

         There is a great deal of research being done concerning how the brain works, how birth order affects a child’s personality, and how children are born with tendencies to like some things and dislike other things.  There was a time when educators were told that all children were like a blank page when they were born, and it was environment that affected their behavior. Now we know that we are born with certain tendencies that, along with environment, affect our behavior.

         Those who study such things are telling us that there are seven intelligences and that each of us has three or four where we are stronger. We tend to develop in these areas more and disregard the areas where we are not strong. It is important to know the areas of strength in our children in order to better understand and teach them.

         These seven intelligences are classified as: verbal linguistic, logical/mathematical, visual/spatial, musical/rhythmic, body/kinesthetic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  A simpler way of saying them is: language smart, numbers smart, picture smart, music smart, body smart, people smart, and self smart.  In future columns, I hope to talk about each one individually.

         We have all heard comments about how talented someone seems to be musically.  People are also talented in each of the other areas.  When we look around and observe those we know, we will see that each person has talents.  The verbal linguistic person has a talent in learning language and writing. The mathematical person has a talent in working with numbers.  The visual/spatial person is the person who can draw or paint pictures.  Dancers and sports lovers are the body/kinesthetic people. An interpersonal person is the social person who is perceptive in working with others.  The intrapersonal person is the philosopher type who thinks deeply and is often very spiritual.  Most people do not concentrate in one area only, but they also have at least two or three other areas of interest.

         When parents can understand what the intelligences of their children are, they can better work with them in developing those interests.  It is futile to try to force a child to be something he/she is not “born” to do.  For instance, some people will never be good in sports or dancing.  Others may never be really great in music.  We can, however, learn to appreciate those areas and develop to a point in each of them, but we will excel in the areas of our interests.

         There is a great deal of information on the Internet about the seven intelligences.  One can simply Google “seven intelligences” and read about the studies done by several people.  Even if we don’t completely understand all about it, it helps just to know that each child has particular things in which they are interested and we need to ascertain what those interests are to better work with that child.

Teaching Children to Be Resourceful

Christmas gifts, counseling, High School seniors, parenting, Raising kids, teamwork, Uncategorized, ,

www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Teaching Children to be Resourceful

         When I graduated from high school and was preparing to leave home                                 to go to college, the youth director at the little church I attended in Verona, MO, bought a small notebook and filled it with wise sayings to guide me through life.  One of those sayings was, “An industrious man can do more with a rusty wrench than a lazy man with all the tools in the shop.”  This saying has stuck with me through the years as there have been many times when I did not have everything I would have liked to achieve goals.

         Life certainly can take some strange turns. We never know when the time may come that we cannot afford to buy what we want or need.  It is important for children to realize this fact.  Most people find themselves, at one time or another, in a situation where they are short of money.  

         Children need to be prepared to learn how to do without new things and use what they have in more ways. Everyone likes to have new things, but those new things are appreciated much more when they are not so easy to get. It is good for each of us to take inventory of our many blessings and use everything wisely.  We need to be good stewards of what we have whether we are poor or wealthy.  

         My dad used to say, “Your mom can fix anything with a bobby pin!”  (A “bobby pin” was the name for a hairpin.)  My dad sat each of my sisters and myself on his lap and taught us to tell time with his railroad watch before we ever started to school. Since this was during the time of the Great Depression, it was necessary for families to learn to get along with what they had. As children watched adults practice resourcefulness, they learned to think a little harder about saving money and using their own resources wisely.  Today, children are still learning by watching adults either squander what they have or use their resources wisely.

         Although we may not go back to darning socks to make them last longer, children can learn to use notebook paper wisely instead of making one small mark or two and throwing it away. They can learn not to grind their pencils away in a sharpener.  They can learn to take portions small enough to finish when they eat so that food is not wasted.  They can learn to put away their belongings to prevent loss.  They can learn to close bread wrappers so the bread doesn’t dry out. They can learn to stay out of mud puddles so their shoes last longer.  They can be taught to close doors right away to save on the utility bill. They can even learn that brand names on clothing are not always important.  

         Although there are many good educational toys to purchase for teaching children, there are many items in our homes that can be used effectively for teaching if we choose. Marshmallows, macaroni, popcorn, raisins, and other items in the kitchen pantry can be used for counting with children as we help them with math homework.  Games can be created between brothers and sisters to teach resourcefulness. Give them a task to perform and a limited amount of resources for the project. See who can be the most creative in coming up with ways to accomplish the task.  It is actually fun to be resourceful!

         Some people accomplish so very little because they spend all of their time complaining that they don’t have what they need.  Let’s help our children  become individuals who can get a job done with what they have!  There is a big difference between needs and wants. They will learn this difference as they become more and more resourceful.