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Raising Children is Like Raising Flowers

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Raising Children is Like Raising Flowers

         Even those who do not have a “green thumb” can relate to the idea that raising children is somewhat like raising plants in a number of ways.

The problem is, however, that when we fail with a plant, we can throw it away and get another.  What we do with children lasts for eternity. When spring arrives and our thoughts turn to gardening, it is easy to think of some of the things we must do in order to produce good plants.  Do we give as much consideration to what we must do to produce adults pleasing to our Lord? 

         Following are some of the similarities found in raising children and raising plants:

  • Both need almost constant care when very small because they are unable to care for themselves.
  • Both need water and fertilizer to survive.  We can think of fertilizer in children as the knowledge we give them.  If too much is given all at once, it is harmful.  It must be given in doses that can be processed.  When children are given too much knowledge, they become overwhelmed and frustrated.  This is happening in our culture now as children are bombarded with much on TV and other places that they are not prepared to deal with.  Also, the fertilizer is like good nutrition for children by making sure they eat properly.  Just as plants need certain nutrients, so do children need certain nutrients.
  • Plants and children each need pruning.  We snip off parts of plants to make them grow in the right direction.  Children need to have certain actions and behavior cut out of their lives to steer them in the right direction.  When this is not done, both plants and children may grow crooked and not in good form.
  • We cannot force flowers to bloom and we cannot force children to grow up too fast.  Growth comes from the inside on God’s time table.  Just as one might take a budding flower and pull the petals open, when we try to force children to grow up faster than they are ready, they become bruised and hurt.
  • We cannot change a rose to make a daisy, nor can we make children become something that God did not intend.  Each child is born with certain tendencies.  We cause harm when we try to get children to become something different from what God gifted them to do.
  • Plants and children need the proper environment in which to thrive.  Just as some plants need bright sunlight and some need shade, children need to be in an environment of encouragement and love to thrive.  They need to be around those who will be good friends.  They need clean air and proper exercise in sunshine to grow healthy bodies.  They need church fellowship to grow spiritually, and they need good schools to grow mentally.

Knowing that children are a gift from God, we can take those gifts and nurture and watch them grow into the men and women God intended them to be.  We cannot do the growing for them.  God provides the growing, we are the ones who care and tend them.

Instilling Patriotism in Children

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by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Check out my latest book, “My Thinking Book”, a devotional book for children.

Train up a child…

Instilling Patriotism in Children

         There may be no better time than Independence Day for parents to instill in children the attitude and feeling of patriotism. As children experience the beautiful fireworks displays and understand that the same thing is happening throughout our nation, they can’t help but think about what it means to be living in America.  Adults need to take advantage of this “teachable moment” to encourage the feeling of pride for country and help the children understand, as much as possible, the cost paid for our freedom by our forefathers.

         One way to give a better understanding of our forefathers is to check the Internet for information regarding some of those individuals.  Children will be interested to learn about some of the inventions of Ben Franklin.  He invented bifocals, the lightning rod, a grasping tool, and even a musical instrument using glasses filled with different amounts of water.  He designed a ship with compartments so that if one compartment sprung a leak, the leak could not sink the ship.  

         Only two of Thomas Jefferson’s six children survived into adulthood.  He had specific instructions as to what he wanted on his tombstone.  He wrote a political pamphlet in which he stated, “The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time:  the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.” He designed his home, Monticello, in detail and had it built on property inherited from his family. 

         At the age of 16, George Washington helped survey Shenandoah lands.  He was very interested in western expansion of our country.  It will fascinate children to learn that he invented wooden false teeth.  It has been said that we always see pictures of him with his mouth closed because of his wooden false teeth.

         There are many, many interesting things to learn about our founding fathers and our country if we just take the time to explore with the children.  A visit to the library will uncover many interesting books for the children to read during the summer months.  

         It is easy to develop an appreciation of the past history of our country.  What is not so easy is to develop a feeling of appreciation for our country now.  It is difficult as a teacher to help the children learn to respect authority of our government when they hear so much criticism from parents, grandparents, and others.  When children hear parents say, “They are all a bunch of crooks!” they wonder why, then, are they supposed to obey laws made by those “crooks”.  It was a real struggle in my GED classes to get students to understand that our government is “we”, not “they”.  

         We need to be very careful to discuss policies of our government without “badmouthing” the people making those policies. It is very difficult in times of frustration to separate what our politicians do from who they are.  We are commanded in the Bible to pray for our leaders and we should do just that.  Instead of venting our anger to those around us, we need to be finding ways to make the changes that we believe are needed in a respectful way.  

         Our country has had many problems since its beginning.  We need to help our children join us in praying for our country and deciding how we can be the best citizens possible.    

Some Children are Self Smart

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by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Some Children are Self Smart

         “Still water runs deep” is an expression that is often used to describe a child who may be quiet and perhaps shy and doesn’t mind being alone.  This may very well be the child who has a dominant intrapersonal intelligence.

         Seven intelligences have been defined.  People are born with dominance in three or four of these intelligences.  The intelligences are known as verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, bodily/kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Other names for these intelligences are word smart, numbers smart, body smart, picture smart, music smart, people smart, and self smart.

         Intrapersonal or self-smart is the capacity to understand oneself. This person can understand his/her own personal thoughts and feelings and use that knowledge to plan and direct his/her life.  Intrapersonal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of self, but also of the human condition and is evident in psychologists, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.

         The children who possess this intelligence to a strong degree may be thought of as “loners”. They don’t seem to mind being alone for extended periods of time. Sometimes parents worry unduly about these children for fear they may become anti-social when they are simply thinking about life and its meaning. They are usually in tune with their inner feelings, values, beliefs, and thinking processes.  These children may be “wise beyond their years”, can usually motivate themselves, and have intuition.  Since they spend much time in simply thinking, they may have well thought-out opinions on many issues.  Others often go to them for advice.  However, some may think of them as distant resulting in a small number of friends.

         Teachers would do well to give children who have this intelligence opportunities to describe their feelings or the feelings of others when essays are assigned. Any essay topic that asks for an opinion is a subject to be enjoyed by these children.  There will be an interest in the personalities of great mathematicians when studying math.  A parent or teacher might ask for a description of the feelings of others as history is studied because they like to imagine how people felt in various circumstances. 

         Job skills the intrapersonal person is likely to possess include working alone, setting goals and obtaining objectives, appraising, planning, initiating, and organizing. This person is likely to be a self-motivator.  Jobs that these individuals seem to fit are clergyman or religious worker, psychologist, therapist, counselor, or entrepreneur.  At some point in time, they may want to write an autobiography. They may not always be good in jobs where quick action is required because they like time to reflect and think before making a decision.  

         I am amazed when I think about the varying personalities that God created.  He knew what would be needed to sustain a society and he gave each of us unique ways of thinking and acting to meet those needs.  It would be so nice if each of us learned to appreciate the differences in people rather than expecting everyone else to think and feel as we do.  Ideally, we would all work together and compliment the skills and abilities of one another.    

Ways to Help Children Memorize

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Train up a child…

 

Ways to Help Children Memorize

 

There are many things that a child needs to memorize in order to be prepared mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually to deal with life. Some things are simply basic needs. For instance, every child needs to learn the multiplication tables, rules for English mechanics, Preamble to the Constitution, spelling, and several other things to be prepared mentally. Scripture verses need to be memorized to prepare spiritually. Health habits and nutrition facts need to be remembered for physical development, and rules of etiquette need to be memorized for social development.  Many may say, “Why memorize?  Information can be found on the Internet!”  These folks need to consider that decisions are made by what is in the head, not by what is on the Internet.

There are a few teaching techniques that can be used to help children remember. Even though there is no substitute for plain hard work, some things can be done to help.

  • Writing things down is probably the best way to memorize. “Engage pen, engage mind” is a saying of a colleague of mine. A child’s mind tends to wander less when writing. Copying things over and over and then writing without looking at the item being copied, is one of the very best ways to learn. A friend of mine won a national teaching award when her Pueblo Indian class tested higher than the national average in English. She said, “Pat, I do one thing. Every morning in class, the children are required to copy something that is good for them to know. By doing so, they learn spelling, they learn about what they are copying, and they pick up habits of punctuation usage.”
  • Making puzzles of scripture verses, short poems, or rules is helpful. Simply type the verse or rule on the computer in large print, print it out, cut it up, and have the children put it together. They have to think about the pieces as they put them together. Borders or art work can be added to make it more interesting.
  • Printing the item and then covering up one or more words at a time, is a good way to help the child recall missing words. This becomes a game and works especially well with a group of children, although it will also work with only one child. Children keep reading and repeating the rule or verse over and over, each time remembering a different word or words that the teacher or parent has covered up.
  • Arranging words in the right order is another way to memorize. Make one long strip with the verse or rule. Cut it apart word by word, and let the children put the words in the right order on the chalkboard tray or floor.
  • Using different colors of pens, pencils, or paper helps.
  • The use of acronyms, made up songs, or rhythm helps. For instance, H O M E can be used to remember the Great Lakes of Huron, Ontario, Michigan, and E Tapping on a desk the syllables of a word helps a child break the word down in parts. Knowing that each syllable must contain a vowel and learning to spell the word by syllables is easier than attacking the entire word at one time.
  • Recent studies indicate that classical music played in the background while a child is studying may help with memorization.
  • All learning is done better when broken in small chunks. Learning a little at a time is much easier than trying to learn a big passage.

 

 

We need to be creative as we help children. Ultimately, however, it is the child’s responsibility to learn. We are simply facilitators. This needs to be understood by all involved.

 

 

“As the Twig is Bent”

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Train up a child…

 

“As the Twig is Bent”

 

I remember an instructor in our child development class at Missouri University saying, “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree”. She went to great lengths to explain that habits that are formed in childhood last a lifetime. If left unchecked, the inclinations that a child has are reinforced through the years as the child grows. This is true for both good and bad inclinations. It is the task of the parent to “prune” those inclinations as needed. The parent needs to reinforce in positive ways the good, and do their best to eliminate the bad habits.

A common saying about children who are displaying problematic behavior is, “Don’t worry. He will grow out of it.” This may be true as relating to physical changes, but in most behavioral changes, children do not “grow out of it”. The problems, in most cases, gain strength as the child grows.

There are many examples of children growing worse when problems are left unchecked. Take, for instance, the child who throws temper tantrums. When parents give in to the child and do not correct this problem, the child grows up believing that he/she can get whatever is wanted by displaying acts of temper. Another example is the demanding child who does not learn good manners. That child becomes the adult who “railroads” through anyone or everyone to achieve wants and desires. Poor eating habits are very difficult to correct in adulthood. Many obese people are those who, as children, were allowed to eat whatever they wanted. Children who are allowed to act any way they want will not grow up respecting authority. Children who are given everything needed without having to earn anything will not grow up and suddenly say, “Oh, I can do everything for myself”. These children will always be expecting handouts.

Young people seem to have a feeling of indestructibility. They tend to think, “I’m different. That will never happen to me.” I recently talked to a man who is now an alcoholic. He said, “I made the same mistake so many other people have made. I thought it would never happen to me.” It is our duty, as parents and grandparents, to point out examples to prove that it can happen to anyone. Ultimately, each person is individually responsible for choices made, but we need to do all we can to influence those choices and help that person grow in the right direction.

My dad used pieces of string to illustrate to my sisters and me how habits get stronger and stronger. He handed us a piece of string and told us to break it. It was easy. Then he gave us two pieces of string and told us to break them. It was harder. Then he gave us three pieces of string and told us to break them all at the same time. Some of us were able to do it. By the time he got to four pieces of string, it was not possible to break them all at the same time. “That is how it is with habits,” he said. He told us that when you first do something wrong, it is much easier to stop than after you have continued to do it for a time. We understood that it is best not to form bad habits.

Raising children is somewhat like gardening. We prune, feed, and water. We guide and do our best to influence the choices our children make. When they are little, we can prevent bad choices. When they grow up, they will choose according to their own individual beliefs. Other influences in the world compete with the influence of parents. We simply try our very best and bathe our efforts with lots of prayer.

The Value of Homework

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Train up a child…

 

The Value of Homework

 

Homework is a good thing. No matter how much students may moan or groan about it, there is no doubt that it is good for them. Of course it is important to have the right amount of assignments. It is not good to overload students, but if the right amount of homework is given, there are many benefits derived for the student.

Homework is necessary to give practice of skills taught in school. Teachers do not have enough time to give adequate practice. More and more topics are added for teachers to teach, yet nothing is ever subtracted and no additional time is allowed. Homework is good to help the students develop proper habits of study and self-discipline. As parents either assist or observe their children doing homework, they come to a better understanding of the learning ability and achievement levels the children possess.

There was a time in education that educators thought that if a child simply understood subject matter, practice was not necessary. I remember having a math textbook when I taught second grade that required the children to complete as few as six problems each day after the concept was taught. I knew that the children needed more, so I kept extra math papers available all the time for the children to choose and work as their time permitted. Math, reading, and writing are skills. All skills require practice because they involve more than understanding. They involve the use of nerves and muscles. Just because a person can read and understand music, for instance, doesn’t mean that the person can play the piano or any other instrument. It is the same with the skills of reading, math, and writing. Practice is necessary to become proficient.

As I taught GED classes through the years, I found that many students test higher in applied math than the actual computation. I tell them that I suspect they sat in class, listened to the teacher explain how to do problems, and then said, “I don’t have to do my homework. I understand that.” They usually look at me rather sheepishly and say, “You got that right. How did you know?” Such students indicate that they have the ability to understand but did not practice problems enough to be able to do them satisfactorily.

Some children do well in early grades and don’t do homework, then find out later on that some subjects, such as algebra, require constant homework. Unfortunately, since they didn’t do homework early on, they haven’t really learned good study habits and self discipline to buckle down and do what they need to do. It is important to have a set time, even in the lower grades, to make homework a habit. If homework is not assigned, the parents need to come up with things the children can do to add to what they are learning in school. For instance, if the children are learning about conservation, they might require them to look at or read something from the Missouri Conservation magazine. They can check the library for more information or take a walk with dad to see examples of good and bad conservation.

Some may think that their children don’t need to do any homework since they finish quickly at school. We should never let our children think that they are smarter than others and that they don’t need to learn more. There is always plenty more to be learned about every subject. Parents are teachers, too, and parents need to help children develop a curiosity for learning by making suggestions or finding projects for the children to do to enrich what they have already learned.We learn a great deal about our children as they do homeworkPerhaps we learn even more than any report card can show. We can assess how the child reasons, the interests of the child, and become closer to the child. Homework can be a wonderful together time and learning time for both parents and children.

 

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An Easy Way to Help Your Child Improve Reading Ability

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Train up a child..

An Easy Way to Help Your Child Improve Reading Ability

Most parents want to feel proud of their children for doing well in school. Reading is basic to all other school subjects, so, naturally, one of the best ways to help your child in all schoolwork is to help him/her improve reading ability. In the case of reading, there is almost a “magic bullet” to help. That “magic bullet” is simply to have your child do a lot of reading.
Any time a skill is learned, practice is necessary. Reading is a skill. The old saying, “Practice makes perfect”, certainly applies to the reading skill. It follows that if a child likes what he/she is reading, that child is more apt to want to read more. How do we know what books to have a child read? There is a guideline, and the child can help determine this for self. As the child reads, have the child hold up a finger for each word that is unknown. If no fingers are held up, the book is easy and the child will enjoy it more. If three to five words are missed, the book may be too difficult and the child will not enjoy reading it.
Requiring a child to read at least twenty minutes each day will pay off tremendously. If a child reads twenty minutes each day for five days each week, that child will have read the equivalent of ten school days in one year. If a child reads only four minutes a day, at the end of the year he would have read the equivalent of four school days. By the time these two students reach 6th grade, the child who read twenty minutes each day would have read the equivalent of sixty school days and the other child would have read the equivalent of twelve days. The gap of information retained by the two students is very wide. How do you think the student who did little reading will feel about him/herself? Which student will feel better about him/herself? Which student will read better? Which student will know more? Which student will write better? Which student will have a better vocabulary? Which student will be more successful in life?
Having your child read twenty minutes at home each day of the week is easy. Simply have an understanding that a time will be set aside for this,and set the timer on the stove or have a special timer for the child. What about the child who keeps jumping up and doesn’t stay focused? Simply reset the timer for twenty minutes each time the child stops reading. That child will soon learn that it pays to stay quiet and get it done in twenty minutes or he/she will be reading for a long time. Of course, it is great if the child gets so interested in the reading material that the desire is there to continue reading!
What an easy thing to do to ensure that a child learn to read well. Parents and child will each feel good about school performance!