by Pat Lamb
Author of: (Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor
Train up a child…
When our Children “Don’t Measure Up”
Much research has been done recently concerning children and problems they may be having. It has led to labeling children with attention deficit disorder, dyslexia, or other scary names. Recently there was a report on the news that one of every one hundred fifty baby boys born has autism. I find it hard to believe that statistic.
What are parents to do when their child is diagnosed with one thing or another that would lead them to believe that their child does not measure up to expectations? There are some basic things we can do regardless of the label put on the child. First, we should always question who set the standard by which the child is rated. Second, we need to realize that all children are of equal value. Third, we need to apply teaching techniques appropriate to a child’s needs.
It is necessary for teachers and doctors to have guidelines to follow to determine if a child is progressing at a “normal” rate. However, we need to remember that those standards are set based on other children in the past. When a baby is born, that baby is unaware of those standards and simply acts according to nature and environment. New standards are being developed continually. God creates each child uniquely, not according to the standards previously set by those who study behavior. Quite often a child may be misdiagnosed simply because parents or teachers do not know how to help a child progress. In addition to “book standards”, unfortunately, parents often have preconceived ideas of what they want their child to be like, and the child may fail to meet those expectations.
In God’s eyes, all children measure up in value. It should be the same with parents. Children should always measure up in the sight of the parents as long as they are trying their best. God creates each individual with a plan and purpose. Not all children are going to be good academically just as not all children will be good in sports or music. Our job, as parents, is to nurture and help a child be the best that child can be with the talents and abilities s/he has.
When a child is expected to perform beyond his/her abilities, frustration sets in. Teaching techniques should be chosen with consideration of the child’s abilities and accomplishments. A good rule of thumb is to find out where a child is in development, start there, and take that child as far as possible. Well-meaning parents and teachers often insist that a child be promoted in school, when that child is not ready, in order to keep the child from feeling badly about being left behind. There is far more danger in making a child feel badly by placing that child in a situation where it is impossible to succeed. Most children can progress if taken at the right pace, but just as a flower cannot be forced to bloom, so children cannot progress faster than they are ready.
Love is the key to working with all children. Love means we are patient, kind, and don’t insist on having our own way in that we need to let the child develop as God has chosen. In God’s sight, all children are equally loved. Parents and teachers need to care equally for all children as well. There is no need to feel disappointed if a child doesn’t seem to measure up. We simply value that child as God created him/her and do the best we can to train it up as God intended.