by Pat Lamb
Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is..
Train up a child…
Children Build on Successes
What parent or teacher does not want to teach in such a way as to produce the optimum learning in a child? Through the ages, much research and experimentation have been done to determine how a child learns best. All of this, along with plain common sense, tells us that children learn best when they build on little successes.
Keeping this fact in mind, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: “How does a child define success?” “How can a teacher or parent make sure that a child succeeds as that child determines success?
Children most often define success according to the amount of praise received for a task accomplished. If the child receives a little praise, the child feels that s/he has done alright. If a child receives a great deal of praise, that child feels especially good about what has been accomplished and feels success. Immediately, the child wants to repeat the action to receive more praise. Success gives a child hope and confidence in ability to achieve. The child will automatically select activities similar to those for which praise was received. Conversely, a child will avoid activities where success was not experienced. This demonstrates the need for praising children rather than scolding them. However, the praise should never be false praise! When a child receives false praise, s/he feels like they are doing great and are not motivated to improve.
Praise needs to be focused on the achievement rather than the child. Too much praise for the child leads to a child having a feeling of superiority. We don’t want children growing up feeling they are better than others. However, we do want them to have confidence in their ability to do a good job.
It is important that tasks be delegated commensurate with a child’s ability to succeed. If tasks are too difficult, the child cannot experience satisfaction. There is a value in “instant success”. When we introduce something new, it would be well to take a small portion that is easy to learn and start with that. When the child succeeds in one little thing, s/he is encouraged to tackle more. The child has instantly felt success and is eager to experience more success.
“Chunk learning” is a phrase commonly used in education circles. It simply means that it is better to take a chunk at a time rather than throw the whole thing at a child all at once. “Chunk learning” allows a student to feel more success and avoids much confusion in processing information in the brain. When too much is presented at one time, the child becomes confused and bewildered with information and is often not able to sort through and classify it to “file it away” in the mind for future use.
It takes understanding on the part of the parent or teacher to know how much to expect children to grasp at one time and still feel successful. New teachers have been told, “Don’t try to teach them all you know on the first day!” We need to give information in doses that can be processed in a manner for the child to feel successful. It is difficult to do this when we think of how very much a child needs to know to survive in our culture. When teachers are expected to cover a certain amount of material in a certain amount of time, it becomes tempting to speed up to get through the lessons. It is counterproductive to do so. It is as if children start “putting on the brakes” when pressure, rather than success, is felt. No matter what society demands of a person, forcing a child to learn, when that child is not ready, is like trying to force a flower to bloom.
Some parents and teachers can readily sense when a child is feeling successful and others seem to go blindly along never knowing when a child is feeling good or bad about something. Love is the quality that gives understanding. We need to love the ones with whom we are working. When we really care, we will want children to succeed and make efforts to teach accordingly.