Train up a child…

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

Recently in a phone conversation with our daughter-in-law, she told me that our four-year-old grandson was having a “sweet” day. She related that when they went shopping and she lifted him out of the car, he softly and gently said, “Mommy, I love you.” Later, when they were in the store and she had him by the hand, he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. What precious moments!

“Oh,” you say, “but it doesn’t last!” Well, actually it can last. Of course it cannot be every moment of every day that children express their love, but there can be an ongoing inner love that leads to respect of parents. This in-dwelling love should also be present in the parents for the children.

Most people would quickly bring to mind the teenage years when children so often tend to disrespect parents as they struggle to “leave the nest” and become independent. I dare say, even though there are times of friction between parent and child, the foundation can be laid that ensures that children always come back to that expression of love.

When our oldest grandson reached puberty, I called him aside and said, “Now, Dylan, you are about to become a teenager. I want you to be like your Uncle Charles. When he was in high school, he was never afraid to give me a hug no matter who was watching.” It worked. Dylan gave me hugs in front of his peers all through his teenage years. He was never afraid to show affection to his mother as well. His younger sister followed his example and also showed affection to her mom and grandparents.

A worse scenario than a teen who refuses to show affection to parents, is the grown-up who speaks sharply to aging parents or shows disdain when a parent does something that the grown-up child finds distasteful. How often have we heard, also, of the aging parent in the nursing home who receives few or no visits from adult children?

Dr. Adrian Rogers once remarked in a sermon that he would never allow his children to speak disrespectfully to their mother. He said that their mother went through much pain to bring their children into the world. As they grew, she changed their diapers and cared for them in many ways. As a father, he wanted his children to know that they owed their mother respect and that they should treat her with dignity.

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone would love and respect everyone else? As Valentine’s Day approaches, we think of love and its meaning. Let’s teach our children that love means that we care for others whether or not they see things the same way we do. When others make their best efforts, let’s appreciate those efforts and not be judgmental and critical. There are ways of expressing our beliefs without hurting others. After all, we are all learning and growing every day. Everyone makes mistakes. The mistakes of others are no worse than our own. To love others doesn’t mean that we have to agree, but it does mean that we should be kind, patient, and longsuffering. Let us practice this love to our children as we expect them to practice it to us in return.

I know of no better description of love than that given in the 13^th chapter of I Corinthians in the New Testament. It would be good if we all read this chapter often.