Train up a child…
Children need Guidance in Choosing Friends
Although it is scary to think of not having friends, it is far worse to have the wrong kind of friends. There is no doubt that childhood friends have lifelong influence. It is for this reason that friends need to be chosen carefully. How can we help our children choose friends who will have positive, rather than negative, influence? Understanding reasons for fear of not having friends, knowing how to make friends, and understanding the qualities of good friends are three things to consider in discussing this topic with children.
Many children feel that they have to act in such a way as to have others choose them as friends. It would be helpful if children could understand that they can choose friends rather than waiting for others to choose them. A lack of self-confidence may be the cause of this attitude.
Children who truly understand that they are loved by parents, grandparents, teachers, and our Lord, do not have to feel so lonely as to seek the approval of peers at any cost, but rather take the time to choose the right kind of friends.
Children often mistakenly believe that clothes or money creates friends. The simple formula for making friends is found in the Bible. Proverbs 18:24 tells us that “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (KJV) In other words, if we want to have friends, we must be friendly to others. Children must learn to express the same qualities to others that they would like others to show to them. This is a practical application of the Golden Rule of “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
A good friend will want the best for others and will not take advantage of anyone. When individuals try to persuade others to do wrong, they are not striving for the best, but are hurting those they may be mistakenly calling friends.
Some children are born with a leadership personality. Some children are born with a “whatever” personality. The “whatever” children are often the followers and tend to do whatever they are told. They may be the most obedient children at home, but at the same time too eager to do whatever a peer may suggest. Parents may tend to trust these children the most when they actually may need closer supervision in choosing friends. Children who are “born leaders” tend to get others to follow.
If parents can work with their children in selecting good friends, it will go a long way in helping shape the personalities of their sons and daughters and perhaps save many headaches in the future.
Note: I recently signed off on the cover design for my new book, “My Thinking Book”. It is a daily devotional book for children based on Scripture. It answers many questions that children have and provides space for children to write their thoughts. Please e-mail me at patlee@centurytel.net if you would like me to reserve a copy for you. Also, I now have Paypal on my website at www.patlambchristianauthor.com. My other books are available there.