by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book
Train up a child…
Heredity, Environment, and Choices
When a little baby makes its first appearance into the world, we all look at it with awe as we realize it to be a miracle from God and wonder what lies ahead for it. Will the child be president some day? Will the little girl be Miss America? Maybe someday this child will discover a cure for cancer! We go on and on speculating about the child’s future.
As the child grows, we become more realistic in our expectations. We begin to realize that what happens in the child’s future greatly depends on us. We also see characteristics of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or even an aunt, uncle, or cousin. In addition, we become frustrated when the child decides not to listen to our advice and defy what we so diligently have tried to teach.
As nurturers, we can only affect the environment of the child. We can make sure the child gets good food, a good education, and associates with people who may give a positive influence. We can see that the child has good experiences to increase vocabulary and understanding of the surrounding world. We can see that the child has clothing and a satisfactory place to live. We can take the child to church and give the child a spiritual foundation. We can make sure that the school is doing a good job in developing the child mentally. We can make sure that he/she gets involved in sports or does physical activity. We work very hard at these tasks.
It is left to our Creator to determine the characteristics of a person. God’s design is that both the father and mother contribute genes to a child to determine the child’s tendencies upon arrival into the world. Sometimes the child may be a “throwback” to previous generations, surprising the parents and making them wonder, “Where did that action come from?” We are left to work with what we get and raising any child is always a real challenge. Any parent of two or more children can attest to the fact that there are no two children alike.
It can be very disappointing when a child grows up and seemingly wastes the talents inherited and the many efforts of parents who have nurtured tirelessly to help that child succeed in life. On the other hand, it can be very rewarding when the child chooses to use inherited talents, abilities, and valuable advice received. Ultimately, it is always the choice of any individual as to whether inherited talents and abilities are used and advice is followed.
We can never be completely certain of the end product of our children. We can only do our very best to raise children to influence them to make good choices and to have the tools to use once those choices are made. After all, God did not make us as puppets. He could have designed us so that He would make our choices, but He chose not to do that. He designed us so that the only thing He cannot do is to choose for us. In the end, each of us is accountable for self. Our actions are not justified by what our parents did or didn’t do, and it is the same with the children we are raising now.